Chapter 34: Broken and Healed
As I lay there in the arms of the twins, my mind slowly crawled back from the abyss of unconsciousness.
The pain from the failed experiment still gnawed at my nerves, but it was nothing compared to the horror of my diminished senses.
I could barely see, hear, smell, taste, or touch anything. It was as if I had been plunged into a dark and silent void, cut off from the world and myself. It was like reality itself crumbled on me.
I felt a wave of despair wash over me once again, drowning me in hopelessness and anguish.
I reached out to Eve with my mind, hoping she could hear me.
I told her to explain to the twins everything that had happened in the drug production room, while strictly ordering her to leave what happened between the chief and I out of the explanation. I also asked her to tell them to leave me alone for a while, that I needed some time to think and heal. I felt her reluctance, but she agreed to do as I asked.
She relayed my message to the twins, and I felt their warm embrace loosen and fade away.
I was alone with my thoughts. I leaned against the wall next to my bed, and closed my eyes, hoping to find some peace in the darkness. But all I saw were nightmares of the experiment. The laughter, the malice, and the eyes of the scientists. The chief, his smirk, his threats, and his ultimatum. They haunted me like ghosts, tormenting me with their memories.
I felt a surge of anger and hatred, towards them and towards myself. What had I done to deserve this? How could I escape this hell?
I had lost my senses and my dignity. How could I live like this?
The only way I could think of to get out of this was death. The sweet release of death.
I had suffered enough, endured enough, but I was still human. I couldn’t take it anymore.
With those thoughts swirling in my head, the minutes turned into hours and the hours turned into days. I refused to eat, drink, or talk to anyone. All I did was sleep, wake up, think, punch the wall until my hands were numb and bloody, and repeat.
It was on the morning of the third day that Eve broke through my silence.
She said with a gentle voice: “Young master, what you are doing to yourself will only serve in decreasing your chances of survival. You cannot stay like this.”
I snapped at her with anger and frustration: “I don’t care anymore, Eve. To hell with all of this. To hell with the facility, to hell with the experiments, to hell with everything including me. I can’t take it anymore, Eve. Death is the only thing I want now. And I can’t wait for it any longer.”
Eve replied with so much fury that I was shocked: “Death? Is that what you want? How can you be so selfish, young master? How can you forget about your family? How can you forget about the twins, Lana, and Ryuji? How can you forget about me, young master? Your death means our death too. Do you think we don’t care about you? Do you think we don’t suffer with you? So, what if your senses are not as good as before? At least you still have them. So, what if your skin is damaged? At least you still have it. Instead of wallowing in despair, why don’t you get up and train? Your weakened senses are not a curse, they are a challenge. Overcoming them will make you stronger, smarter, and sharper in combat. You might even develop a new sense, something beyond human. Also, do you know what you have done to the twins? They have been crying nonstop since you told them to go away. And yes, young master, I disobeyed your order and told them everything that happened in the lab, including the chief’s proposal. The twins are blaming themselves for your condition, saying that if they were not born or alive, you would not have gone through this. That their existence is a mistake and that they deserve worse than death for what they did to you.”
I felt a surge of panic and rage, and I shouted in my mind: “How could you, Eve? How could you betray me like this? I told you not to tell them anything about the conversation, and you ignored me. Why? Do you know what you have done? Do you know what they might do to themselves because of your words? I’m so angry with you, Eve. I can’t even trust you anymore.”
Eve replied: “I know what I have done, young master. And I’m ready to face the consequences. Even if that means my disposal, I will readily accept it. However young master, all I want you to know is that I did it because I couldn’t bear to see you like this. I couldn’t stand to see the young master who I cherish and love so much give up on himself.”
I felt a shock of realization. All these people cared for me and valued me so much, and yet I had ignored them. I had thought of ending my life without considering the impact it would have on them.
My life was not just mine anymore. It was linked to Eve, my family, and the twins. If I died, they would die too.
It was also connected to Lana and Ryuji, who I had promised to help and protect. How could I be so selfish and cowardly? Eve was right, and I had no excuse.
I reached out to her with my mind and said: “I’m sorry, Eve. I’m sorry for hurting you and the twins. And thank you for opening my eyes. I needed that. For now, I want you to bring the twins here and let me talk to them through the screen. I also want you to translate what they and the others say to me through telepathy, since I can’t hear them well anymore. And as for what you did, Eve, don’t worry. I won’t ever dispose of you, yet you will have to face a penalty later, and it won’t be lenient.”