The Life Of Normal-Taro

"So, how are we gonna get to Trivandrum?" Lonappan asked John. After his conversation with Ponnappan, he was hell bent on reaching Trivandrum as late as possible.

"Well, I thought that we could get to the nearest airport and get a connecting flight to Trivandrum." John replied.

Hearing this, Lonappan took out his phone and surfed for a bit. "Look, the tickets for the cheapest connecting flight are over. Now, all that's left is the tickets for a twenty-two thousand's ticket." Lonappan spoke, with a genuine concern in his voice.

"Dollars?"

"No, rupees."

"Well, that's fine! I can spend that amount for the two of us! You don't have to worry about it!" John shrugged.

"Well, that's just a waste of money, isn't it? It's not healthy for a miser like me. I just can't get on the flight spending that amount of money. My conscience won't allow me to." Lonappan pulled out the ultimate trick of his book—the power of bullshitting.

"How is that a waste of money? As long as we reach the arena before this Taro guy faces someone, it's an absolute victory for us! Nothing wasteful about it." John explained.

Lonappan sighed. "That would be idiotic." He replied.

"What do you mean?" John was perplexed. He didn't understand why Lonappan was opposing him so hard.

"Okay, listen to me now. A train takes about six to seven hours from Thrissur to Trivandrum. Meanwhile, a plane takes about four hours." Lonappan replied.

"And? What's the problem?" He asked.

"You don't get it. The plane takes about four hours from Kochi, the nearest airport. That means we still have to get to Kochi first. That journey takes about two to three hours. You get what I mean? Then there's this variable called traffic. So, let's just sum it up and say that it takes about seven to eight hours to reach Trivandrum like this." Lonappan explained.

"What if the traffic is like, really toned down? One could place that as a possibility too, if we're bringing up variables. We could reach by five to six hours, right?" John asked.

Lonappan scoffed. "Seems like you're underestimating the traffic in Kerala. It would only go up not down. We are the sort of people who would make a mess out of traffic even if there's a global pandemic going on, not that it's something to be proud of. However, there's that. So, if we're considering traffic as x, then x would always be greater than or equal to two. However, this is different for a train. It's always on time—at least it'll only be a bit late. It travels on a straight lane with nothing to interrupt it. Hence, no variables to disturb our journey. So, which one do you prefer- a gamble or a sure shot?" He asked. Actually, he hid the two most important reasons for choosing the train because those are the ones that couldn't be revealed. First of all, the fixed time of the train works in his favor. Even though he gave a rough estimation of timing, there are rare instances where x became one—that was a threat for him. Secondly, he was to meet up with the guy that Ponnappan sent to grab whatever he gave him.

John thought for a while. "Variables are not reliable. So, I guess you're right. However, I'll book the train tickets. And get ready. We have to make it fast!"

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A few minutes later. Gopan's auto stopped before the Holy Land. The auto was a bit crowded with John, Lonappan…and the two aliens. "Why are you two here?" Lonappan asked.

"We'd be lonely in there! M'Baku has Shivani; we don't have that sort of bond. It's not like we have something to do, anyway!" Kunjan smirked as Lonappan flinched. The plankton knew that Lonappan can't reveal that they're working in a dangerous place like a construction site or John would freak out about that too. Hence, he remained silent throughout their journey to the railway station.

However, what could've been an hour long journey with a lousy driver was cut to half by Gopan's expert driving skills. Lonappan cursed inwardly while John praised him and tried giving him an extra few bucks. However, Gopan rejected it, saying that it's against his ethics.

In the railway station, it was as Lonappan expected. The train was about half an hour late. John was impatient, however they could do nothing in this case. Now, all that Lonappan had to do was to find the guy that Ponnappan sent. Hence, he tried slipping away from the gang to call Ponnappan. However, John stuck to him wherever he went and it was getting annoying.

"Hey, John! Come with me! You don't know about the food here, right? I'll show the brilliance of Kerala food." Gibli grabbed John's arm and ran towards the railway restaurant before he could give a proper answer.

After they left, Kunjan turned around and stared towards Lonappan for the longest time. However, what he didn't know was that underneath the stoic exoskeleton, the plankton was trying to smile.

"What?" Lonappan asked as he saw the stare.

"Well, it's not like we don't know what you're planning…" Kunjan replied.

"And? What's your stand?" Lonappan asked.

"Can't you see what it is? We do care about our homeboy after all! Go call Ponnappan." Kunjan ordered.

"Thanks." Lonappan bowed and called Ponnappan. "Hey! So, where is the guy? Really? Why do you pick that place? There's literally thousands of other secret places. Okay, fine! I'll get there." He sighed as he hung up the phone.

"What is it?"

"I'm gonna go to the toilet for a bit." He replied.

"Gee, that's an odd place for a meet-up." The plankton spoke.

"I know right!" Lonappan sighed yet again as he headed towards the toilet.

A few minutes later, John and Gibli came back from the restaurant after having a burger. They did plan to have a puri or a dosa [1] if Lonappan took his sweet time. However, since Kunjan gave him the signal to come back, he chose to eat a burger instead, much to the disappointment of John.

"What the-where's Lonappan?" Gibli asked. He was surprised. He expected Lonappan to be there since Kunjan called him back.

"Oh, don't worry. He's in the toilet. He'll be back soon." Kunjan assured. However, he didn't come back for a long time.

"So, what's taking him this long?" John asked.

"I don't know? Maybe he's taking a dump or something?" Kunjan replied.

"Oh, speak of the devil!" Gibli said, as he pointed towards an incoming Lonappan.

"Oh, my God! I'm never going into a public toilet ever again. How do these people even manage to make it so dirty?" Lonappan spoke with a disgusted face.

"What did you even expect?" Kunjan asked.

"You're right!" Lonappan nodded.

"Oh, seems like the train will arrive soon." John said as he looked at the train listing. And as he said, the train arrived soon enough. The gang tried getting into the sleeper coach before someone tried to push them aside, when John stopped them. "Where do you think you're going?" He asked.

"Huh? Oh, I forgot that you aren't familiar with things here. The coach right here is called sleeper coach. It's all good and cozy, however the problem is that people crowd before these coaches. Therefore, you have to get in as fast as you can or the train leaves the station. So, what are you waiting for? Let's push our way in!" Lonappan tried grabbing his hand.

However, John swatted Lonappan's hand aside. "This coach isn't what I booked though!" He replied.

"Oh, no! You didn't just book the tickets for the general compartment, didn't you? That place is a nightmare! You'll suffocate in such a place. It's twice as crowded as here. And only idiots buy tickets for that compartment. Ah, I should've checked upon you when you said you're booking the tickets. Oh, the misery!" Lonappan cried.

John sighed. "Once a miser, always a miser, eh? Do you even know the existence of AC compartments in this train? Your negligence towards slightly fancy things is just fascinating." He replied.

"Well, I do know about them. However, I never concerned myself with that part of the train." Lonappan spoke.

"Well, concern yourself with that part then. We're going in it!" John proclaimed.

"Yay!" Gibli jumped around like a little kid. Holy Land didn't have an air conditioner because the owner Timothy was a complete sucker for money and didn't want to spend them. So, this was one of the rare chances where he could sleep under an AC and he was ecstatic.

The AC compartment was every bit of what they expected. It seemed luxurious in the first glance—so luxurious that Lonappan felt his heart crack. However, the services were top notch. A fully functional clean toilet, a comfortable pillow and a blanket to cover yourself. Since it was morning, they thought they might not need a blanket, however the AC was chilling, therefore they had to embrace themselves with one anyway. Hence, seven hours later, John and crew reached Trivandrum as comfortable as possible, unlike a certain troop that came before them.

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[1] Amazing food one should try once someone ventures into South India or India in general.