The Life Of Normal-Taro

"Ah, shit! I can't even open my damn eyes—how much did I even drink yesterday?" Normal-Taro tried opening his eyes, but couldn't. He had no recollection of the night before. He could sense the numb feeling coursing through his body when he tried moving it. Judging from the entire situation, he could assess that he was probably too wasted for his own sake. "Truly, it seems like the other guys were right. Maybe I should stop smoking and drinking. At least then, I won't have to endure these hangovers!" He moaned and tried his level hard in opening his eyes and getting up.

Usually, someone from the amusement park kicked himself and Park outside in the early morning, which proves to be their alarm of sorts. Yet, something was different that day—way different. He had no idea what was so different though. He got a rough idea of that in a minute as he finally opened his eyes wide open. "Hmm? So, where exactly am I?" He saw himself in a room which was weird. He looked around for a hot minute to realize the problem about it. The magazines, the posters—he could read none of it. He felt weird as he went around touching things. "So similar, yet so different. Even the constitution of materials are weaker. What is this stuff on the wall? It's so brittle." He muttered as he poked his finger into the wall, which led to a grey powder coming out of it and formed a humongous amount of cracks in it. The stuff was very weak compared to his standards.

"That my friend, is cement. It is one of the sturdier stuff around here. We use it to build houses and stuff." A man came in from the door, dressed up all funny. He looked like the street clowns from Skyliner planet that he used to love when he was a child. However, he still felt as if something was different.

He decided to leave his lingering feelings aside and commented about the elephant of the room. "As if!" He believed that he was probably in a Mandowood [1] film set. It looked realistic—for a movie set.

Seeing the disbelief in Taro's eyes, he led him to a lift which got them to the outside world. "Look at all those places? Even if you dug a hole on those walls, you're gonna find the same stuff." He said.

"Oh, you weren't kidding!" Taro, with his immense experience in construction work in the past for paying off his tuition fees, had a good eye for sophisticated constructions, which none of those houses candled to. Thus, he came to his conclusion. "So, I guess this place isn't Wados. I've heard that people in Skyliner planet wear— eccentric clothes. Not gonna lie, I've went around all the thirteen planets in the Mandora twice and never seen one like you. This isn't even the Mandora star system, is it?" He asked as they went back to the room. Even the skyliner troops weren't stupid enough to wear these weird clothes.

"No. This is the solar system. Also, you're on a planet called Earth." The man who accompanied him explained.

"I see. I've never heard of it. Well, I'm just one man living in the corner of a small planet. It's not like I'm ever gonna find out the entirety of this vast universe." Taro acted pretty calm even though his mind was racing. Something was weird—definitely very weird. "Man, I have a shitload of questions in my mind now." He said as he scratched his head.

"Well, I'll contact the higher ups and tell them you're awake. They'd be willing to answer those questions of yours." The man gave a warm smile, which calmed Taro just a little bit.

"Okay, thanks."

"Here, take it." The man gave a weirdly wrapped package in his hand. It was warm.

"What's this?" Taro asked.

"Food. You might be hungry, right?" Taro felt thankful as he heard the man's words. He always appreciate a person who gives food to someone else in need.

"Oh, I'll make sure to eat it." He said, with a joyful smile.

"Good. I'll be on my way." The man left in a moment's notice.

After he left, Taro placed down the weird package and pranced around. In Taro's eyes, everything about this planet was weird. He started thinking. "Everything's so similar to Wados, that it even baffles me. Like, every planet has its own identity, right? Then why is this Earth and Wados so similar? Furthermore, the guy seemed to understand me and he was even talking in Wadorian. Well, it might just be a translator or something. Also, how the hell did I even get here? Think." Suddenly, that last night's event came by like a flash. "The theme park. I was with Park. Then something hit me--Park tried to save me, but my idiotic self, stood my ground. So that means I'm dead now, right? Have I come to my ideal afterlife? That guy didn't look like he have superpowers--maybe, none of the people in this planet have superpowers to begin with! Maybe, I can finally live up to my name and live a normal life! Is this how it feels to get isekaied [2]?" The conclusion that he came up with made him smile a bit. That would explain why everything looked oddly familiar but different, an expression he had used multiple times already. However, instead of tank-kun like in those comics he read, it was coaster-kun! Either way, if that was the reality, he was satisfied.

"Sir, this guy sure acts weird." The man, who previously acted real nice in front of Taro earlier, said to official as they looked over him through CCTV.

"Let him be. Now, you were telling me?" Special agent Ponnappan asked.

"Yea, the alien poked a finger onto the wall and you can see its state for yourself. He even called it weak, in addition to that." The man explained what he saw to his superior.

Ponnappan gasped. "Such power! Thankappan, have you found out how they came to this planet?"

"No, sir. It was all too sudden. They literally appeared out of thin air." Field agent Thankappan replied.

"Hmm, I see. What about this Wados they were talking about?" He asked.

"We've sent a message about it to our benefactors. We're waiting for their reply." The field agent replied.

"Got it. I guess it's time to welcome this alien to our planet." Ponnappan said with a smirk on his face.

#

"Whoa, this food is actually good! Grain sized and easy to consume. Ideal food of the ideal world." Taro enjoyed eating this delicacy that Thankappan gave him. Except it was no delicacy, but a rice meal with fish curry, which had no fish but only the curry, from a nearby food stall [3]. Still, an avid street enthusiast could always argue that the food was indeed a delicacy as Taro said. But, whilst enjoying his meal, he sensed some movement from outside. He expected the field agent and wanted to thank him once again, but it was a different man. "Who are you?"

"I'm a higher up official who've come to answer your questions and ask some of my own." Ponnappan replied.

"Well, can it wait?" Taro asked as he glanced at the food.

"Sure." The special agent said and waited for him to finish the meal. When he did so, Ponnappan had a not so casual idea in his head. "In the meantime, try bending the plate in your hand."

"Why?" Taro was confused.

"Just for the sake." He replied.

Taro obliged, thinking it might be some weird custom on Earth. He took the plate and bent it literally with his two fingers. "What about it?"

"Whoa, this isn't normal. He's strong--too strong!" The special agent was surprised. It was a steel plate that he bent so effortlessly. Taro wasn't indeed normal—he was a great threat. "So, what is it that you wanted to ask?" He asked as he gulped inwardly.

"First, how in the world did I get here?" He got straight to the point.

"Well, I was about to ask you the same question." Ponnappan replied.

"You don't know?" Taro was confused. He thought that there might be a chance that the dumb idiot who proclaimed that he'll answer Taro's questions, would know the answer.

"No."

Taro sighed and continued. "I see. Now, what is this place? Where exactly is it?"

"If you're talking about the planet, it's named Earth and I don't know how far it is from your planet, Wados. Well, we called up our benefactors on this issue and we might be able to inform you about the same. Now, if you're talking about this establishment specifically, then this is one of the secret bases of a world government based organization called Men in Black. We are the connecting link between humans and aliens. We are responsible for the protection of alien rights and needs when they stay on this planet. This base is located in the coastal region of Kerala. [4]" Ponnappan looked proud as he said it.

"Black?" Taro didn't quite get it since none of them wore any black in them. On the contrary, it was all vibrant colors.

Ponnappan chuckled. "Black is just in name. That means we are protecting the citizen of this planet and aliens like you in dark. Like, we are the ones hiding in the shadows."

"Got it. Now, show me your translator." Taro didn't beat around the bushes. He had to confirm his suspicions.

"What?" Ponnappan was surprised. He never expected Taro to take such a sudden turn in his questions. He expected somewhat of a cultural question, not something that involves with their trade secret.

"Well, you've been speaking in my language for quite a while now. That means you know the Wadorian language, right? However, you don't even know the existence of such a place. Let's cross that option off the list. Then, there's just one thing left—you're using a translator. Now, if we're talking about translators, it's of two types. One would be a singled out Wadorian translator, which can translate literally any language to Wadorian, but we can cross it off too for the same reason as the other one. Now, what's left is a universal translator that can translate it for both the listener and the speaker—pretty useful one. So tell me, who's backing your planet?" Taro asked, after calmly laying down all his facts.

Ponnappan sweated immensely. The alien before him was really bizarre. Even though they were just assumptions, he really knew his facts, he thought as he couldn't even judge the difference between facts and assumptions. "What do you mean?" The field agent decided to act dumb for a while.

"You talked about a benefactor before. Only six star systems are capable of creating a universal translator and this solar system ain't one. So, are you gonna hand that translator over to me or are you gonna act oblivious to it?" Again, Taro had no chill as he ruthlessly bulldozed them with the facts repeatedly.

Upon hearing the conversation through their comms, many high ranked official rush towards him. They had a sense of fear and disbelief in their expression, which was the one that Wadorian people dawned when they saw him back in the day, fearing that he hated them and would turn into a terrorist soon enough. He felt like home.

"Why do you need it?" One of the officials asked.

"Just wanna take a look at it. Nothing else. I'll give you back as soon as I finish looking." Taro decided to speak the truth. He didn't lie about anything until now and decided not to do such a thing further too.

After a session of intense deliberation amongst officials, Ponnappan himself decided that it wouldn't be that much of a bad idea. "Hmm. Here, take it."

"Ah, the perks of taking the support class back in the academy!" Taro thought to himself as he reverse engineered the translator to get hold of the certification on it.

"Hey, what are you doing?" The officials were surprised. They even had baseless thoughts like Taro might make an explosive out of it or something.

"As I said, I'm just looking." He said, not minding their gazes. When he finally got hold of it, his suspicions were cleared. "Oh, you're Glomera's bitches, huh? Catch!" He blurted out as he saw the technologically advanced, Glomera star system's insignia.

"Mind your language!" Every official present were enraged, as if they were insulted on a personal level, although it was the World leaders who signed an undisclosed deal with Glomera.

"What did he say?" Ponnappan, who didn't had his translator on him, asked around at the officials and was equally enraged. "The gall of you to call us that!" He screamed.

"I just said it as it is. Judging from your reaction, it seems like the Glomera star system hasn't announced their intentions yet." Taro said, which piqued some officials' interest, since the alien seemed to know about the undisclosed part of the deal.

"What do you mean?" Ponnappan asked.

"Let me guess. They came by one day and you treated them like Gods—or maybe not, it's just me guessing. Seeing your reaction, they gave you that translator and told you that it's a rare piece of high level machinery. Am I right?" Taro pulled out his speculation glasses and asked.

"..." None spoke. It took him little to no time to hit the right nerves since every word he spoke was true.

"Sure, it is a high level machinery that only six civilizations make. That doesn't mean that it is rare—every high level official in my planet has one of these or a modification of these. To illustrate, the damn bastards didn't even unlock the full features of this translator—like, the distress call is locked, faraway communication is locked. Maybe, it's unlocked in a "special" one—the one you used to communicate with them." He looked disgusted. "Anyway, let's continue with the story. Upon seeing this wonderful piece of machinery, you might've jumped around. Again, Glomerans take a liking to such reactions. It's not an everyday event where they could see idiots treating them like Gods! So, they might've offered you the possibility of stepping into the vast, unknown universe. Let me guess, you agreed to it almost immediately, didn't you?" He explained.

"How...?" The officials were stumped. The alien before him was explaining word-by-word, exactly the stuff that they knew about. Learning about the existence of another civilization other than themselves in the universe was a huge piece of news for the world government officials, so when the Glomera civilization offered their vast knowledge and chance to conquer the space, they were indeed overjoyed.

"Oh, you look surprised! Probably wondering how I know all these. Because I've seen it happen time after time with many other planets. You know what happened to the people in that planet now? They're Glomera's slaves now." He sighed. Glomerans were a bunch of assholes and it was a known fact in the universe. He didn't want another planet to lose their freedom too. "Didn't you say you are the shadow protecting the people or something? Then listen carefully. Cancel the deal you have with Glomera. Only then you can protect your people." Taro requested them off it.

After hearing the long explanation, none spoke for a while. And when a voice was finally heard, it was of a laugh. One laughed and others followed. Soon, everyone including Ponnappan were laughing. "Haha. You think we're going to end a long beneficial partnership with a higher civilizations because a random alien like you talked shit about them? As if!" The special agent laughed more loudly as he ridiculed Taro.

"Fine, don't listen. None of my concern. But when that shit actually happens, do remember about this random alien who warned you about it." He replied with a stern expression.

Ponnappan laughed a bit more and decided to ignore the entire explanation that Taro gave. "When that happens, right? Sure. Now, I guess it's time to end our little talk. Here you go. This is the information on our world—wait, I forgot. You can't read this!" Ponnappan was about to put back a bunch of books that he brought, when Taro stopped him.

"I'll just look at the pictures then." He said as he grabbed the books from the special agents. As he silently surfed through it, he suddenly stopped at a picture that showed Tokyo dome and felt nostalgic. "This looks eerily familiar. As if I had been here before." Thankfully, he doesn't remember that disastrous run, so his nostalgia didn't last very long. [5]

"Fine. We'll try to contact your planet, but it might take a long time. Until then, you'll have to stay in this planet. Don't worry, we'll give you some money to begin with. Thankappan and Lonappan will take you to your new residence. And as for communication, we'll get you a low level translator in due time. But, that's it. I was gonna help you some more—like give you monthly allowance and shit, but you seem confident about yourself. So, I thought against doing it." Ponnappan scoffed.

"No worries. Too much help from a shady organization is not too good anyway!" Taro laughed it off like nothing. He was doing all he can to rub them the wrong way.

"Then, I believe this is the end of our brief partnership. Farewell, Mr. Whateveryournameis." Ponnappan mocked Taro, even in the very end.

Taro decided to return the favor. "Farewell, Mr. Clown." [6]

Furious, Agent Ponnappan called one of his subordinates towards him. "Hey Lonappan, come here."

"What is it sir?" Lonappan asked.

"Lead that guy to #306. Let him suffer a bit." A sinister smile was visible in the special agent's face.

"But sir..."

"I don't want you talking back at me." He roared.

"Yes, sir." Lonappan had no chance but to cower back.

"But, always keep your eyes on him. He might be an asshole. But he's too strong for his own good. You never know what trouble he might bring to this planet." Ponnappan said, with his intense foreshadowing ability.

#

[1] The –wood reference of the movie industry. But instead of it being the planet's movie industry, it's the entire star system's movie industry. Blunder at first—liked it, so decided to keep it.

[2] Well, I guess I don't have to explain much about this, do I? But for those who don't know, isekai means other world, I believe? But instead of our friendly neighborhood truck-kun, it's the tank-kun that does the heavy work. Don't blame me, blame Warorian mangakas. And yes, I wrote comic instead of manga for generalization.

[3] Thattukada: Covered carts on the roadsides which sell the street food of kerala. Everything tastes good there for some reason!

[4] A state in the southern-part of India. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kerala

[5] For all the few OG readers. The original Normal-taro of TLNT transmigrated to Japan and not Kerala. Ah, good times! I can re-publish it if you want it though 9in an auxillary chapter or something.

[6] A jab at the "weird" clothes that the Earth people seemed to wear.