The Legend of Lefty

“Long ago, on the majestic Isle of Att, there arose a great and powerful evil. An inhuman force of tyranny and destruction which cast the continent into chaos, and waged a Dark War against all who walk the earth.

“Legends tell… that when all hope seemed lost, a lone hero rose up to oppose the darkness. A great warrior, who's strength and cunning freed Att from the cold winds of death, and brought about an age of unparalleled peace and prosperity.”

“That hero… was named Scaevolus… and in the aftermath of The Dark War, the victorious armies of Att declared him king of the entire continent.”

This was how Ol Blu began his explanation of the tabernacles to Lefty. He could have conveyed the information less dramatically, but the young man was on the verge of an existential crisis and needed a distraction. After all, he had just learned that the first eighteen years of his life had been predicated on false information. Most people didn’t take that kind of news well, and Lefty was no exception. Ol Blu could see the telltale signs of panic creeping over his human companion’s face, and launched into an entertaining tale that would (hopefully) soften the blow while educating him at the same time.

Fortunately the former sand miner had not heard many stories in his short life, and never from a true bard like Blu, which meant it didn’t take much to mesmerize him. Already the tension was leaving his shoulders as he sat back down on the stone floor and listened to the kicken speak:

“At first the reign of Scaevolus was everything the people could have hoped for. Despite his fierceness in battle, the hero king was a wise man, and a kind soul. He organized his new kingdom around the noble ideals of equality, harmony, and justice. He created a senate, so that his subjects could have a voice in the government. He put together a corps of guards to patrol the cities and roads, so that peace would be maintained for all. And he re-wrote the law of the land, so that every citizen, regardless of race or birth, was granted basic rights. The nobility had their grumbles, as they often do, but no one dared challenge the hero of the Dark War.”

“ And so it was that, for the first time in history, the various peoples of Att were forged into one unified kingdom that worked for the benefit of all. Even the pentoids, who had allied themselves with the forces of darkness… were shown forgiveness by the king, and allowed to join this new union.”

“Those first years were truly miraculous.It was as if the twin spirits of hope and cooperation had possessed the entire population. All across Att, people were spurred to not only rebuild what they had lost in the war, but to go even further beyond. From the frozen north to the southern desert; new towns, new roads, and new monuments were being constructed. Land was cleared. Farms were planted. Schools were built. A new golden age of prosperity was upon us.”

“That… was when Scaevolus first proposed the tabernacles.”

“They were supposed to be great monuments. Not to any one person or event, but to life itself. The first four were dedicated to the four primal elements: food, drink, breath, and sleep. The next four celebrated the physical mediums: sight, sound, body, and mind. The last two… were built in secret… although, in the end, all ten tabernacles would wind up containing secrets”.

“Ooohh” said Lefty, leaning forward in his seat. If he was still upset about his past he didn't show it. The story had his attention in a headlock, and the boy was focused entirely on Blu as he slowly ate what remained of his bread. The kicken continued.

“You see, as Scaevolus aged, he became more… irritable… erratic. People whispered that their king was growing old; that perhaps it was time for him to name a successor… but no one dared question him openly. Even when he withdrew from public life and left his kingdom in the hands of the senate, no one challenged his decree. If Scaevolus gave the politicians his blessing, then the people would obey them… even if their worried whispers grew louder.

“Some say that it was the whispers that finally drove Scaevolus mad. Others say he had been declining for years, that the war had done things to his mind from which he had never recovered. And still others will swear to this day that the king never went mad… that he was a genius, and his subjects simply lost faith in his greatness. “

Whatever the case, when he finally returned to the public after years of absence, it was clear that he had changed. Gone was the kind and noble king they knew, and in his place an impatient and hardened despot, half crazed with excitement for his latest and greatest reform. He had been planning it for years, he said; a change more sweeping and more radical than any of the others that had come before. This would be his crowning achievement, his lasting legacy… and he was insistent that it be implemented immediately.

“What was it?” asked Lefty, his eyes full of wonder.

“Centralized Banking.” said Ol’ Blu.

Lefty furrowed his brow and scrunched his nose. It was clear he was disappointed and confused but not enough to disrupt the story, so the kicken continued.

“The royal bank would revolutionize the economy. It would spur trade, and further unite the kingdom. He would take the countless coins, bars, jewels, and rings that had served as money before his reign… and replace them with a single official currency; paper notes he called ‘Cash’.”

“The idea itself wasn’t unheard of. Banks and bank notes had existed in The Capital for years by that point. What made people question the king’s sanity, was the sudden and forceful way this new system would be implanted. The conversion of old wealth into new cash was not optional. The king demanded that his people turn over every last ounce of gold and silver they possessed to the royal bank, and if they did not… he would mobilize the guards to seize it by force”

At this point the confusion finally became too much for Lefty. “Wait wait wait… what’s gold?” he asked. “Is that like… sand? Like the Golden Desert?”

This time Ol Blu couldn’t blame the boy’s ignorance on his isolated upbringing. No one Lefty’s age really understood what gold was. It was a testament to how thorough Scaevolus had been. Every ounce of the precious metal had been confiscated, along with all the silver and jewels as well. Every bit of it hidden away in the royal vaults.

People were compensated of course. At least those who didn’t resist were. Anyone who surrendered their valuables willingly had them replaced with an equal amount of Cash. The rich remained rich, the poor remained poor, but the old markers of material wealth had been all but eradicated from everyday life. Within a single generation gold and silver had become a thing of the past… replaced with Scavolus’s Cash.

Ol Blu explained all this to Lefty… and then explained what money was… and what it meant to be wealthy… and then how economics worked in general. Remember that the lad came from a small town where resources were tight and survival required cooperation. The people of Ash-Tab had no use for money and barely traded, so he had little context for any of this.

I’ll spare you from listening to these same explanations because I assume you can’t possibly be as ignorant as Lefty was back then. Especially with gold and silver being back in circulation now.

Regardless, Ol Blu eventually got his story back on track… after reminding his companion that there were still secrets to be uncovered.

“Oh yeah!” Said Lefty “What does all this money stuff have to do with the tabernacles?”

“I’m getting to that, just sit back down” The kicken said with a sigh. This really was taking a while… though he had to admit it was nice to have someone so eager to listen to him.

“As I was saying. Scaevous took all the wealth of Att, and he locked it in his bank. It wasn’t easy, and by now the people were whispering rather loudly about their king’s sanity, but the reform was completed. And for a while… it seemed like things might return to normal. Merchants were getting used to using Cash and despite a few hiccups, it was making things much easier for everyone.

And then, right as the tabernacles were nearing completion… a scandal broke out. Someone close to the king leaked his plans; his true plans. And the people learned that the tabernacle project… the banking project… and a secret third project… were all actually part of one big project… which would go on to cement Scaevolus’s legacy as “the mad king”.

“For you see, the tabernacles weren’t just monuments… and the kingdom’s wealth wasn’t actually in the royal vaults… and also…the king was looking for a successor all along… just not in a way anyone expected.”

Lefty gasped. “...the tabernacles are alive!? And they’re the new king?!” he looked up with awe at the stone walls around him.

“...No lad.” Said Ol Blu, his ears twitching. “Just… shut up and listen for a moment.”

Lefty seemed disappointed. Blu continued.

“The first nine tabernacles were a test. Hidden within each one, was a Clavis Imperium, a key of royal power. Together, these nine would reveal the location of a secret tenth tabernacle, where Scaevolus had hidden the kingdom’s wealth.

“For there were no royal vaults. Only the Tabernacle of Cash, a secret temple which held all the gold, silver, and jewels he had confiscated. Whosoever found and opened the tabernacle first, would not only have the blessing of Scaevolus as the rightful ruler of Att, but they could back up that claim with control of the kingdom’s treasury.”

“Huh…” Said Lefty. “That’s weird.”

Ol Blu laughed. “Weird is an understatement, lad. This was madness! The kind of crazy convoluted scheme that only a senile old man with unlimited power could dream up.”

“Which is why a lot of those people who were whispering about the king… started shouting at him… very angrily, and very publicly. When news of this got out it almost tore the kingdom apart! Some thulhans even launched a coup! If it weren’t for the guard corp and the senate holding things together… well it wouldn’t have been pretty I can tell ya that.”

Ol Blu took a deep breath, and composed himself, returning to his narrator voice so he could finish up this tale.

“In the end, the kingdom held together… but things were never quite the same. Hope and cooperation faded. The people’s taste for monuments had soured. Construction slowed. Fewer citizens traveled. Political factions arose within the kingdom. And the legacy of Scaevolus was tainted forever. Gone was the hero who had unified them, and in his place a polarizing figure who many had lost trust in”

“Not long after that... the first king of Att closed his eyes for the final time. His decrees would stand, as would his tabernacles, but the former hero ruled no longer. And though some still hold him in high regard, many simply remember him… as the mad king.”

Lefty clapped. He had finally finished his bread.

“You’re really good at that” He said after a few seconds. “You should like… tell stories to crowds… or something.”

Ol Blu smiled despite himself. “You’re too kind lad. It’s nothing really.”

Lefty nodded. “There is one question I still have though. Who ended up getting all the Clabis Imperials?”

“The… clavis imperium?” Ol Blu asked.

“Yeah yeah. The key things. That unlock all the money.”

Ol Blu grimaced for a moment. “...No one.”

“What?” Lefty exclaimed leaning forward again “Then who became king after Scaevolus? And who’s the king now?”

“No one.” repeated Ol Blu. “And no one.”

“But my dad said there’s a king!” Lefty exclaimed, starting to work himself up again.

“Well I mean technically there is still a king.” Ol Blu said quickly, trying to salvage things. “The official decree was that Scaevolus would hold power until someone solved the tabernacles. And if he couldn’t perform his duties, then the Senate was in charge. So even though he’s… sleeping the eternal sleep… he’s still the king. He just… doesn’t do much ruling these days. The senate has run things for a while now. They have royal authority until someone passes the mad king’s test.”

Lefty raised his hand as if to ask another question… but then didn’t. Instead he brought it to his chin and let out a puff of breath. For a long moment he was silent. He looked down at the floor, and then up at the ceiling. He scratched his neck as his head tilted to the left, then back to the right, as if he was having a conversation inside his own mind. Finally he spoke again.

“So… how come no one got the Clavis Imperiums?” He asked.

Ol Blu breathed a sigh of relief. The lad still seemed a little… unstable… but he no longer had the look of someone who’s worldview was shattering. The kicken knew from experience what that kind of shock could do to a person’s mind. Even a nice young man like Lefty might act… erratically… under the circumstances. Blu was determined to prevent that.

“Oh people have tried, lad. Lots of people. But the king’s tests were too hard. In all these years no one has claimed even a single Clavis Imperium.”

“Not even one?” Lefty asked incredulously.

“Not even one.” Ol Blu echoed back. “You see they aren’t just hidden. Every tabernacle has some obstacle in it. The Sound Tabernacle is a complex sonic puzzle. The Breath Tabernacle is a deadly gauntlet of mechanical blades and spikes. No one ever knows where the Mind Tabernacle is.”

“And what about this place?” Lefty asked, interrupting the kicken. “What’s the obstacle here in the Food Tabernacle?”

“A giant. deadly. beast!” Ol Blu said, his tone hushed, almost reverent.

“Way up on the top floor, tucked away at the end of a long hallway, is the doorway to its lair. The Clavis Imperium is supposed to be hidden inside, but the beast has killed or maimed anyone foolish enough to enter. It’s unstoppable. Three times your height and covered in blades. Its footsteps shake the earth and its cries can deafen. No one’s even managed to hurt it, much less kill it”

“I wanna try.” said Lefty.

Ol Blu was at a loss for words.

“I’m good at fighting things!” Lefty said excitedly as he leapt to his feet and grabbed his shovel from where it lay leaning against the wall.

“You remember how I hit those chefs right? I was like ‘Whack! Whack!’” He said, swinging his shovel through the air. “I’m really strong! From digging so much. I’ll beat the beast and get the thing!”

“Lad… I- I don’t think you understand…” Ol Blu started to say… but he knew the look in Lefty’s eye; he had seen it many times before on many different faces.

The kicken’s ears twitched, and he let out his longest, deepest sigh yet. He was going to regret educating this ignorant bumpkin.