The Hero’s Brother Is Bound To Be Depressed

21 – Friends

It was a world filled with black and white. There was one person who revealed his presence like a drop of black ink on a white drawing paper in a place where there were no objects or wind.

Although he has the same blonde hair as Roel, he has the same skin tone. I felt like I was conveying deep depression, perhaps because of the sorrowful eyes and slightly bent shoulders.

“Hello, Jinxian.”

I was taken aback by the sudden meeting and the words of ‘Ross’ who knew my name, but I hurriedly came to my senses and answered with a smile.

“Nice to meet you, Ross.”

Entering the world of the novel I created, creating settings, and meeting the characters who created the story made me feel new and strange every time.

Face-to-face with the ‘Ross’ I possessed made me feel a strange sense of guilt and the opposite feeling of repulsion.

To break the awkward atmosphere and continue the conversation, I immediately asked Ross.

“Do you know what this place is like?”

“Yes, it is ‘our’ mental world created by Principal Nelson through snow globes.”

I didn’t expect an answer to come back, so I took my time in bewilderment, looked around and asked.

“Since when have you been here?”

“Since you possessed my body.”

He sighed at Ross’ words and replied.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t take your body because I wanted to.”

“I know, you probably didn’t want to possess a character who was about to be thrown away.”

No criticism, no contempt. I flinched at the low-key voice of Ross, who seemed to be telling the truth.

“I knew… ?”

At the cautious question, Ross smiled wryly and nodded his head.

“I told you. This is the world of ‘us’. I kept watching you live as ‘Ross’ and how you lived as Jinxian here.”

As Ross beckoned, the black and white world changed and I remembered myself eating in the corner of the restaurant alone.

Feeling somewhat embarrassed, I asked Ross.

“Do you resent me?

“I did at first, but not now. Because you, possessed, are a better person than me.”

I felt a surge of emotion at Ross’ self-reproach and bit my lip.

“As a mass of inferiority complex, useless consumables. How does it feel to live in the world you created?”

“It’s like a dog. I’d never put myself in Ross’ shoes. People’s ignorance, comparison with Roel. And because of how you feel for Ellie, who has a crush on you.”

Ross smiled sadly at my words.

“I resented God all my life. I wondered if he was too busy making me and left out the fact that he was loved. After all, what parent would give their child the name ‘Ross’?”

“I’m sorry. I just wrote it with the intention of giving the readers rice cakes….”

Let’s say it as if it’s an excuse for guilt. Ross shook his head slightly.

“I know, I did it without thinking. So you regretted it too.”

“… Which one?”

As Ross gestured at my question, the world changed and the corpses of the mother and daughter he had seen in Moonlight Village came into view.

“A massacre occurred in Moonlight Village with a single line written thoughtlessly.”

At Ross’s words, I couldn’t find anything to say and lowered my head.

“Am I paying the price for that…? ?”

Let’s mumble like we’re brainwashing. Ross answered.

“Because there is a cause and effect in everything. The reason you possessed me might really be the price.”

At that, I looked up and met Ross’s gaze.

“Do you want to get your body back?”

“No, I have been since my memory began. It is the most peaceful.”

I let out a sigh when I saw Ross shrug his shoulders with an expression of genuine satisfaction.

“Ha, I don’t know what to do. Bella wants to kill me, no talent. When I see Ellie, my emotions act on their own.”

As I said it lamentably, Ross let out a small laugh.

“Still, you are doing better than me, aren’t you?”

“Me?”

“Yes. Don’t you remember what Principal Nelson said? You are already a hero If you hadn’t possessed it, we wouldn’t have been able to save the town of Destin. You stopped it with your own power.”

At Ross’s words, I laughed like a madman.

“I never thought I would be comforted by you, a lump of inferiority complex…. Thanks.”

Ross smiled at my words.

“Because that lump of inferiority is now ‘we’.”

After hearing Ross’ words, I washed my face and wiped my face.

“If you have seen my memories, you would have known what would happen next, right?”

“Eli and Roel are doing well, and I, who witnessed it, exploded with an inferiority complex and succumbed to the demon king’s temptation?”

I nodded my head at Ross’ kind explanation.

“Yes. To be honest, I don’t understand. You know Ellie is using you to get close to Roel. But I still like Ellie… ?”

Ross answered my question without a hint of distress.

“Even though you didn’t write it, the memories of me and Ellie were precious. People’s emotions are uncontrollable, even if they don’t like me, even if they don’t look back at me. Just looking at it was enough.”

“How are you now? You know the future now.”

To that question, Ross tilted his head and answered.

“Well? Does my opinion matter?”

I was dumbfounded by Ross’ attitude as if he didn’t care.

“Of course you are Ross-“

“No, now you are Ross.”

Let’s keep our mouth shut in embarrassment at Ross’s sudden interruption. He continued talking.

“Have you already changed the future once? Change the future again and make Ellie your woman. It’s your choice whether to watch Roel go. And one piece of advice…. Ellie means she’s not just trying to take advantage of me like you thought.”

He sighed and asked Ross, who defended Ellie until the end.

“So you don’t want anything? Do you want anything from the person who stole your body and made you feel inferior and trash for the rest of your life?”

The more I continued to speak, the more my suppressed emotions leaked out and eventually exploded.

“Damn it, how long are you going to live with it? Is living like an asshole your goal? Right now, in front of your eyes, I am the one who made you that way. Why did you make me like this? You’re just laughing without swearing or arguing!!!”

In spite of my shouts, Ross just stared at me with sad eyes in silence.

In that gaze, guilt overlaid on top of the emotion of anger.

“I’m sorry. He doesn’t even deserve to be angry.”

“No. It may have felt frustrating. But, I have more feelings of gratitude than resentment towards you, right?”

“What… ?”

I’m dumbfounded by Ross’ words, so let’s look at him asking if he’s insane. He responded with a small smile and took something out of her pocket.

“Acorns… ?”

Ross nodded at my question.

“The reason I felt inferior to my brother was because I always wanted to be a hero like his brother. I had a dream of becoming like the older brother I longed for, but I realized that it was impossible.”

Ross continued his speech with a bitter smile.

“However, you saved a lot of people in Destin. You did what your brother couldn’t.”

“I didn’t do this alone. Without Roel, and without Ellie, it would have been impossible to save the village.”

Ross nodded at my rebuttal.

“Right, but if you hadn’t been possessed, I wouldn’t have gone on such a trip with Ellie and my brother…. Seeing the three of them fishing made me regret it. I regret that if I had had a better personality or more talent, I would not have felt inferior and would have had a better relationship than now.”

A feeling of guilt weighed down on Ross’s self-reproach.

“Because I made you that way….”

Ross shook his head at my self-talk.

“Do you know what I did when I realized that my older brother was not good enough for me no matter what I did? You’re doing things your brother didn’t do. Chores that Roel doesn’t have to do, like cleaning, washing dishes, and sewing.”

With Ross’ setup, no matter how hard he tries, he’ll quickly catch up with Roel. Compared to Roel, what he got in return for his efforts, it was wise to distance himself from Roel.

“But you fought by your brother’s side and became a hero. At the restaurant, you bravely faced a chimera to save people who were ignoring you.”

“I just wanted to live.”

Let’s answer like that out of shame. Ross smiled, probably noticing my feelings.

“As you know, surpassing Roel…. It’s impossible by the setting.”

“I know, you are the chosen hero. That he is the main character of this world. But just like in Destin Village and Restaurant, you can save people Roel couldn’t save.”

As Ross said, he handed me an acorn.

“For the first time, I stood on an equal footing without being compared to my older brother. The acorns given by an unknown kid were the happiest and happiest things in my inferior life.”

Ross put his hand on my shoulder. They inadvertently exchanged glances at that action. The sorrowful eyes disappeared, and only one clear will filled his eyes.

“Be a hero. He’s no better than his older brother, and he’s lacking in talent. A hero who fights for those in need, for those weak and lacking like us. I want that from you.”

I could feel Ross’ sincerity. Ross, who was a lump of inferiority complex and expendable. He chose to move forward, not resent me or take revenge.

If it were me, would this choice be possible? Rather, I didn’t know that Ross was a greater person than me. Ross, who met his gaze, lifted his hand from his shoulder and said.

“I will enjoy watching the story ‘we’ will write down here.”

I could feel my heart beating. Can whole sincerity be contagious? I also answered with sincerity.

“You may be disappointed in me. You may not be the hero you want…. But I promise you one thing. I will never give up, I will always try. I will show you to transcend the limits of the setting that Roel is lacking.”

Ross smiled brightly for the first time at my promise.

“You. No, ‘we’ can do it.”

Ross held out his hand to me, cheering. It felt like the sincerity was conveyed through the hands that were facing each other.

“Oh, you know what? Acorns also have the meaning of loss. Although the meaning is different, isn’t it our destiny to become heroes like the name of our village?”

While I was amazed by Ross’ words, I remembered what I had been thinking about for a long time about saving the town of Destin.

The one that saved the village. Maybe he really decided his future destiny.

“Someday, you will find out why you possessed this world. I’ll think about it too.”

Ross’ words made me laugh for some reason. An article I had seen somewhere popped into my mind.

My best friend is myself.

“Thank you. ‘Friend’.”

At that, Ross smiled.

“See you later.”

With Ross’s greeting, the pure white world lost its light and sank into deep darkness.

The surrounding space changed, and it changed to the principal’s office that we saw earlier.

While eating chocolate and writing something, Principal Nelson saw me back and asked with a warm smile.

“Have you had a good time?”

I answered that question with a smile.

“I made a good friend who supports me.”

Meeting Ross gave me the strength to take a step toward my goal.