The Hero’s Brother Is Bound To Be Depressed

18 – Roel’s Guilt

Roel woke up two days after entering the ward.

After a while, Flavia and Ilia came and Roel was trying to fill the quota she hadn’t met while she was unconscious.

After talking for a while, Flavia was eventually kicked out after being warned by her ward, Ms. Joy.

Let’s finish the breakfast that Ms. Joey brought us. As if waiting, Bella and Rosalyn came to the ward.

“Roel, you woke up!”

Roel naturally smiled and nodded her head at Rosalyn’s expression of her happiness.

“Is everyone okay?”

At Roel’s sudden question, Rosalyn withdrew her smile and nodded her head with a hard expression. Said Roel, who couldn’t see Rosalyn’s expression as he was organizing her tray.

“Huh, that’s good. I was a little worried.”

Rosalind felt a great sense of guilt at Roel’s words, and bit her lip in apologetic.

“Ross? Didn’t you come to see me?”

Seeing Roel ask with her expectant eyes, Rosalyn squeezed the hem of her skirt tight as if she was about to burst into tears at her guilt.

As Rosalyn hesitated, Bella stepped up to Roel’s side, drawing her attention.

“I was banned from visiting because I was receiving treatment. I sent all the other kids back.”

Though Rosalyn was stunned by Bella’s plain lie, she thought, ‘What will she do if the truth is revealed?’ She realized that she was cheating on Roel and only bit her lip.

Roel let out a sigh, she said in a melancholy voice.

“I see…. Ha ha, I guess I’m still far from being a hero.”

“What are you talking about?! I was fine because Roel saved me from the warlock, and thanks to Roel, no one died and everyone survived!”

As if in a fit of guilt, Rosalind retorts her screaming. Roel was embarrassed and scratched her cheek.

“I see… ? Still, there are things I felt while watching Ross these days.”

“Lo, Ross… ?”

Rosalyn felt her heart thump to the soles of her feet at the sudden pop of the name.

Bella asked on behalf of Rosalyn, who opened her mouth stupidly.

“What did you feel about Ross?”

In response to Bella’s question, Roel said, touching her untidy bangs.

“That I was too complacent. I think this is enough, and I regret that I didn’t try harder.”

Roel’s heartfelt voice brought Rosalyn back to her senses and retorted.

“There is no one who doesn’t know how hard Roel is working! Even after class, we train hard every day, and take time out to go on a date with us! You only get 4 hours of sleep!”

Roel replied with a smile at Rosalyn’s words.

“That’s because of my greed. It’s because I want to grow and want to be by your side. That greed grew a little bigger. When the people who are dear to me need me. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to do my part or that I would be disappointed.”

Bella narrowed her eyes at Roel’s words.

“Right now, in the second year, no, in the entire academy, there are three people who can fight on an equal footing with Roel. Maybe I’m thinking too self-deprecating? Roel is strong enough to protect his precious people, and I think he is growing faster than anyone else.”

After listening to Bella’s words, Roel looked down at his hand without saying a word, as if to organize his thoughts for a moment, then raised his head.

“I think I am a very blessed person. Because there is someone by my side who cares about me like this. I’m always thankful.”

Let Roel really thank Rosalyn and Bella. Rosalyn, who was about to burst into tears of guilt, felt a stabbing pain in her heart.

“I have work, so I’ll go first…” .”

Saying that, let’s get out of her ward as Rosalyn runs away. Silence reigned in her ward.

Are you thinking of something? Bella asked Roel, who kept her mouth shut and looked out the ward’s window.

“You seem to have a better relationship with your brother than I thought? In first grade, I didn’t talk about my younger brother, so I thought he was an only child.”

At Bella’s words, Roel smiled bitterly.

“Being nice to Ross to relieve the guilt rather than getting along.”

“Guilt?”

Bella asked with a puzzled look at Roel’s unexpected words. Roel said, running her hand over her face.

“Ross is… I was always compared to myself and put down for no reason. At first, I didn’t like that, so I asked people not to do that to my younger brother, but for some reason, I only had the image of a kind-hearted older brother, and nothing changed.”

Are you thirsty? Roel, who drank from the water next to her bed, continued his words.

“Even my parents always held me up by comparing me and Ross to others. Whenever that happened, I felt sorry for Ross, but because I was young and my parents praised me, I tried harder, and Ross was always compared to me and ignored my efforts.”

“Why does that make you feel guilty? Isn’t that just that Ross is inferior?”

Seeing Bella speak as if she didn’t understand, Roel realized that Bella, who at a young age was fighting for survival every day for her place in the throne, didn’t understand him.

The imperial family is a place where those without ability are weeded out and die. Because it was not a place where the inferior could survive.

“If I were really nice. I should have been your support when Ross was having a hard time, or should have stopped. However, Nara did not give a path to Ross, who was blocked by a wall, and tried to do well in everything to gain recognition from others. With one dream of becoming a hero, I knew that Ross was having a hard time, but I ignored it and shined alone.”

Roel lowered his gaze with a reproachful expression.

“Overshadowed by my light, Ross was always depressed and had a hard time. I grew up alone by making even the praise and love I deserve from Ross mine. I only thought of growing even higher, ignoring Ross, who withered by my side, unable to see the light in my shadow….”

“That is hypocrisy. The people who feel the wall of your talent cannot be counted even in this academy.”

At Bella’s words, Roel raised her head and met her eyes with her beautiful golden eyes.

“I know, but from the age when others need to grow roots like Ross, I’m not walled up. It is an academy where the talents of the continent are gathered. Most of them have been loved and praised for their outstanding talent since childhood, and have planted very deep roots in their hearts. Ross has not been given the love to be deeply rooted. Because of that, I quickly get tired of everything and lose interest. I became a person whose roots were weak and gave up even at the slightest shaking.”

At Roel’s words, Bella involuntarily laughed. Because she immediately remembered what to call such a person.

‘Trash’

Bella wiped her sneer from her face, assuming that her choice was not wrong either.

“But during the year I was at the academy. Ross has changed. Could it be that the wall of the country disappeared and belatedly grew roots by receiving the light? Ross, whom I met at the academy, became a person who worked hard differently than before, and he became a person who sympathizes with the pain of others and sheds tears.”

Roel ran his hand over his face.

“I still remember that moment when I close my eyes. Seeing Ross being thanked by the people of Destin, I felt proud and sorry.”

Roel, who had a bitter expression on his face, continued his words.

“Seeing my younger brother shed tears like a child at the people’s thanks…. If I hadn’t been by my side, what kind of person would Ross have become? I was curious about it. I felt guilty that without me, he would have been better for Ross.”

“The arrogance of a genius.”

Roel reluctantly nodded at Bella’s cold words. It was the kind that Bella, who had never experienced these feelings, had a hard time understanding with her head.

In the first place, rather than hoping for understanding, the thought of wanting to confide in someone was greater.

“With this guilt, I will grow more. If you stop here just because you’re sorry, that’s what’s wrong. Someone stronger than anyone else. And I will be a good older brother and repay Ross.”

Bella asked Roel, who spoke as if he were determined.

“What if my brother betrays me?”

Roel, who was about to drink water at Bella’s sudden question, flinched at her and looked at her Bella.

‘Does he, like his brothers, think that Ross will one day threaten my life?’

After Roel had sorted out his thoughts, he looked at Bella with a serious face and said.

“It’s okay, it’s my younger brother. I was a younger brother who always kept an eye out for harming me and distanced himself. If it’s Ross, who has been a sinner without a reason all his life, that’s fine with me.”

At Roel’s words, Bella nodded her head and continued the conversation on another topic.

By the time her visit was over, she had had miscellaneous conversations, then Bella said hello to Roel and turned around to leave her ward.

After escaping from her ward, Bella looked casually at her window.

For some reason, even though it was daytime, there was a pale moon in the sky.

“How weak is man’s faith. Roel still doesn’t know that even blood brothers aim their swords at each other for his own gain….”

If Roel is the sun that shines brightly, Ross is like the moon that rises during the day.

It’s there, but it’s hidden by the light and you can’t see it unless you look up and look for it.

The moon can shine only when darkness comes. What the world wants is the sun to drive out the darkness, not the moon to light up the darkness.

So, as always, Ross was enough to be Roel’s base manure.

“You must have lost your mind by now?”

Looking at the very pale moon, Bella smiled like a snake.