The Hero Who Returned From Death Quits

EP7. At the End of Darkness

The world tree burned and only ash remained.

In the place where the traces were visible, Lena and I were sitting.

“This is, so… I don’t know what to say.”

It was Lena who spoke first. I felt the same way as her.

“I had no idea why something like this happened all of a sudden, or what their purpose was… I just got hit with it.”

I heard that and said.

“Yeah. I got hit without knowing anything.”

“You have no face to show. I came here to help you, but you look at me as if I’m looking at something dangerous… and you didn’t even win.”

I heard that and looked at her.

“…I didn’t want to meet you like this again. I wanted to talk to you more calmly and say I’m sorry, but things are like this, so I can’t do anything, and the World Tree has burned down. It’s really the worst in so many ways.”

Lena lowered her head and spoke with her head held high. I looked at her and said.

“Yeah, that’s the worst. But I have to think about what to do from now on. What are you going to do?”

She looked at me and said.

“Well, I don’t know what to do. The other fairies are also flustered because the World Tree is burning… It feels like we’ve all lost our bearings. What are you going to do?”

“I told you in advance that I would be away on business for a few months… Well, if I had to be picky, I think I need to find out more about the warlocks.”

Lena said, frowning.

“…Why? Are you having a harder time because of us? I don’t want you to have a hard time. So… What I mean is… I don’t think you need to fight anymore, right?”

As Lena’s voice grew quieter, I spoke to her.

“No, that’s not it. I’m just trying to figure out what those warlocks are after. Think about it.”

The black magicians who had been fighting in the shadows, in disarray, suddenly united and trampled the lands of the empire. Furthermore, even after being swept away by Peria, they declared war on Tyrantus, targeting the World Tree.

And then all they had was a jewel the size of their head, which they called the Heart of the World Tree. No matter where you looked, it was not enough compensation for such a thing. So I knew they would use that jewel called the Heart of the World Tree for some purpose.

Lena also seemed to realize what I was saying soon enough.

“…Yeah, I see. Then, can I come too?”

I nodded as soon as her hesitant voice ended.

“Yeah. What’s the problem?”

If Lena was there, there would be no danger from the warlocks. It’s not like I have any ill feelings toward her, and if she came along, it would be a blessing.

I stood up from my seat.

The stars were shining in the sky, even in this situation.

I opened my eyes in a white space. There was nothing there, just a pure white void.

Where is this place? What am I doing now? I couldn’t figure it out.

All I can tell is that I am standing naked in this white space. A cold white light shines on me, but the space is neither warm nor cold. Rather, it seems like I can’t feel the temperature.

The colorless space, where I couldn’t even feel the passage of time, just stared at me endlessly.

I felt uncomfortable. It would be nice if there was a mirror.

Then a mirror appeared before my eyes. I looked at my face in it.

Gray hair created by the loss of black hair. Black eyes.

The wrinkles visible on the skin. The beard neatly trimmed on the chin.

It was the appearance of ‘me’.

But something is strange. This appearance is not my current appearance.

What did the current ‘me’ look like? My head was spinning.

As I was holding my head, a man came up to me.

White hair. Red eyes. Tattoos carved into the skin. Only then did I realize that the man’s appearance was that of ‘me’ now.

“Hmm, should I say I’m glad to see you like this?”

A man who looked like ‘me’ smiled and greeted me.

I looked at him and said.

“…Who are you?”

Then the man burst into laughter and said:

“Who am I? I am you. To be exact, I should say all the suppressed things hidden inside you.”

Repressed? Have I ever had something like that?

“To be exact, it’s a collection of those feelings from a very long time ago. The ‘you’ of now is too old to feel anything. Look at your current appearance.”

He snapped his fingers and a giant mirror suddenly appeared, reflecting my entire body. He looked at it and said,

“If you live with a ‘young appearance’ and still look like that, it means that you think of yourself that way. Look, you look old everywhere you look. Your face, your body, your soul.”

I shrugged. In the first place, according to that statement, my appearance was something I had unconsciously chosen. Isn’t it even stranger that I haven’t looked like this after living for over a hundred years? I didn’t find anything particularly strange.

“I am a collection of all the suppressed emotions you felt when you were young… when you were young. You know, the you of the past.”

“The feelings I had when I was young have already disappeared from within me.”

“No, it’s not gone. It’s just hidden. You already know the feelings inside me. Even if you live pretending to forget my existence, you can’t completely erase me. Fear, pain, hatred, greed, and… even lust. Everything still remains inside you.”

Past emotions speak to me? That was quite interesting. I asked him, thinking about it.

“Then why are my past emotions talking to me? I don’t really have anything I want to say to my past self.”

“Even if you don’t have anything to say to me, I have something to say to you. What I want to say is, set me free.”

“liberation?”

He said, sweeping his white hair back.

“Yeah. Free me with your own hands. Do you feel like your emotions are getting out of control?”

… The Demon King’s magical power was gradually increasing its influence within me. Every time I swung my sword, shot my bow, or even used black magic, I felt a strange feeling every time I fought. It felt like my body wasn’t my own.

He smiled and grabbed my face. He had an old face and my young face, so I thought we might look like a grandfather and grandson.

“You will gradually lose control over them anyway. It’s not that something is going out of control. It’s that you are gradually awakening to yourself under the influence of the Demon King’s black magic. So, you will get me back anyway.”

He chuckled and continued speaking.

“So, without wasting time, surrender yourself to ‘me’. Free yourself completely. Instead of living like an old corpse, surrender yourself to hatred, greed, and lust. Now, look at my chains.”

An old, worn-out chain was visible around his ankles.

“Just put the key in this chain and release it. You want to be back to your old self. Live up to your appearance, okay?”

“…What would happen if I let you go?”

“What happens? Just live your life as you wish once you’ve regained your sense of humor. Find all the assholes and kill them, and live a more extravagant life… That’s right, your colleagues, they all seem to feel sorry for you, so if you ask them, they’ll do it for you, right?”

I heard that and said.

“Kill all the assholes? Well, if we do that… we’ll have to kill most of the people in this world.”

When he heard that, he burst into laughter and said:

“Huh! Why is that!? If you want to kill someone, then kill them! Are there only one or two things you’ve hated? And what does that matter to you? Whatever you do in this world, it won’t be worse than what the world has done to you. Just give in to your emotions, and throw away the boring talk about ethics and a sense of duty that are supporting you now. If there’s a woman you want to fuck, fuck her. You don’t have to do it only with your colleagues, like Grandis-”

I grabbed his neck.

“Ah, Grandis still gets angry when you touch her? Her feelings for her former comrades… no, more than that. Is she still a precious person to you that you haven’t forgotten?”

“Don’t say anything more than that.”

“Hahaha! That’s funny. Is that girl Grandis more precious than the past you wanted to get back? You know that too. You’ve already changed so much from the past you. Grandis is the value that supports the present you. If you want to go back to the past you, you have to let go. Isn’t that what you’ve been hoping for? To feel the same emotions as before. You think that if you can get back the emotions of your past, you can live happily, peacefully, and faithfully, but…”

He continued to speak to me even though I had him grabbed by the neck.

“You’re wrong. The things you’ve had in the past aren’t as convenient as you think. This is the very you of the past. You didn’t feel these emotions before you became a hero? That’s ridiculous! Just because you’ve never felt them, do you think they don’t have anything in them? I’m the emotions you’ve experienced in the past, the emotions that were inside you from the beginning! Wake up, Ainzel!”

“…It’s ugly.”

“Originally, all humans are ugly. No, not just humans, but all intelligent beings are ugly. Do you think it’s different just because they’re your colleagues? I’m just saying that your past negative emotions were awakened by the Demon King’s black magic! You know what happened when your colleagues were hit by the Demon King’s black magic, right?”

“When I heard that, I realized that I shouldn’t set you free.”

“…Well, you’ll be seeing me again anyway.”

His appearance disappeared.

Only then did I wake up.

It was still dark as the sun was approaching sunrise.

EP7. From the end of darkness to the end.