The Heavenly Demon Is Just Stuck In My Head

Together, the Phantom Thief and I went tumbling to the ground with a loud crash.

A cloud of dust rose around us.

“Hahaha! Finally caught you. How does it feel, Mister Phantom Thief?”

I swiftly pinned his arms behind his back, locking him down.

“Cough! Cough!”

He hacked in the choking dust.

“Oh dear, a thief with weak lungs. Life must be hard. Well, perhaps prison air will do you some good.”

I chuckled, pressing harder.

“Quit squirming.”

I bent his arms tighter behind him, holding him firm. Honestly, I’d been expecting some fierce resistance once I dragged him down, but aside from speed, this thief had no fight in him at all.

“Let me go! Unhand me at once!”

His booming voice still echoed strangely through the forest. Frowning, I flipped him over and checked the back of his neck.

There, hanging, was a necklace.

So that’s what had been amplifying his voice. Some kind of enchanted trinket.

“What a racket.”

Without hesitation, I tore it free.

Snap!

A shrill scream burst out.

“Yiaaah! Do you have any idea how much that cost?!”

“…Eh?”

I blinked in surprise. The voice was far too high-pitched.

And come to think of it, the hair was long too.

Keeping her wrists pinned under my knee, I grabbed a handful of hair and forced her face up.

A pale, delicate face glared back at me with sharp, furious eyes.

“Let me go! I said let me go!”

I muttered blankly, “...You’re a woman?”

“So what if I am! Beast! Remove your filthy hands this instant!”

I thought about it for a moment, then shrugged.

“Doesn’t really change anything.”

I kept her thin wrists bound in one hand, then hoisted her up and slung her over my shoulder.

Surprisingly light.

No wonder she could scamper through the treetops like a squirrel.

Carrying her, I made my way back to where I’d left my belongings.

Along the way, she shrieked, “Do you know who I am? If you don’t want to regret this, put me down now! Do you want to be found as a cold corpse by morning?!”

I hummed cheerfully, pulling out a rope.

Then I tied her up. Thoroughly. Arms and legs wrapped two, three times over.

Even the beast that had dragged me off a cliff last time would have struggled to break free from this.

“You brute! Not so rough! You’re scraping my skin raw!”

“Mmmhmm~”

I secured the knots, buckled my sword back on, and picked up my things.

“Up we go.”

Then I slung the thief over my shoulder again, humming as I headed back toward the village.

Man or woman, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the fifty silvers.

Hmm. I’ll have to crawl through that dog hole again. How do I shove her through it?

I was still mulling over that problem when the thief suddenly squirmed, voice turning urgent.

“Wait! You’re actually going to hand me over? My bounty isn’t even worth much!”

“Fifty silvers.”

“I’ll give you double if you let me go.”

“Oh really?”

“Of course! Finally, you’re being reasonable. Put me down and we’ll talk.”

“That’s inconvenient.”

A thief’s promise was nothing more than ashes after a fire—gone with a single breath of wind.

I didn’t hesitate to keep walking.

She grew frantic.

“Triple! Quadruple! No—ten times!”

I froze.

Her face brightened instantly, and she asked carefully, “Well? Ten times. Five hundred silvers—five whole gold coins. Tempted now?”

“...”

“Heh. Just as I thought—you’re human after all. Put me down, and quickly. It’s not too late to earn my mercy—”

“Gods, you’re noisy.”

Thunk!

I knocked my fist lightly against her head.

“Yiaaah! Do you realize what you’ve done?!”

“Who’d trust a thief’s word?”

She glared at me with watery eyes, as though she could kill me by willpower alone.

“You… you stupid bear of a man!”

Apparently, nothing was more unbearable to her than that knock on the head.

“You’re loud.”

Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!

After a few more flicks of my knuckle, blessed silence returned.

“Mmhmhm~”

There was nothing sweeter than the road home after a successful job. The harder the mission, the more satisfying the return.

I hummed a tune, too pleased to keep still.

“High mountains, deep valleys~ solemn earth and sky~”

After a while, even singing alone grew dull. I glanced at the thief slung over my shoulder.

Her head was covered in lumps, her lips sealed in sulky silence.

“Since the road’s boring, why don’t we chat? Let’s start with your name.”

She shot me a sullen glare and snapped, “Would you, if you were me?”

“Tell me, and I’ll let you go.”

“…Really?”

“Of course.”

She hesitated a moment, then spoke.

“Shushruta.”

“Shushruta?”

“Yes.”

“Strange name.”

“I’ve told you. Now release me.”

I grinned.

“Our Shushruta must be very gullible. Did you really believe that?”

Her eyes bulged.

“You filthy wretch! You dog I should throw into a fire! You bastard I should shove off a cliff!”

A torrent of creative curses poured out of her.

I picked at my nose with my free hand as I walked. The way she reacted to every jab made teasing her addictive.

For a so-called legendary thief, she was awfully easy to provoke.

After a while, perhaps realizing her position, her tone shifted.

“You—no, what is your name?”

“Ashuban.”

“Ashuban? Hah… quite the grand name.”

“Better than a bizarre one like Shushruta, at least tenfold.”

“...”

I snickered as she squeezed her eyes shut, clearly struggling to swallow her anger.

After a deep breath, she asked again, cautiously,

“Is there… anything you wish to know?”

“Out of the blue?”

“I run the Thieves’ Guild. Countless treasures and priceless secrets reside in this head of mine. All yours for the asking. A chance like this will not come again.”

“Oh? In that case, I’ll ask one.”

Her eyes sparkled.

“What is it? Ask me anything.”

“Why do you talk like an old man?”

“...”

Shushruta clamped her eyes shut again.

“That’s not what I meant… I’m talking about the locations of priceless treasures, hidden ancient ruins, or the secret scandals of famous nobles. Things like that, you idiot!”

Perhaps failing to suppress her temper, Shushruta started speaking smoothly, only to suddenly snap and shout.

“Whoa, easy there.”

Thunk!

I rewarded her with another flick to the forehead. Tears welled up in her eyes as she clamped her mouth shut.

“Hitting me in the same spot again… you truly are a devil.”

“Maybe I am.”

“...Don’t you really want to know? I know exactly who possesses the Nine Legendary Swords.”

“Not interested.”

“Th-then what about the ancient treasure said to lie at the bottom of Lake Meylin?”

“Meh.”

“Then… then—”

Her desperation grew as I kept giving flat replies. She looked almost pitiful, but who was I?

I was the cold-blooded city man. The one who turned away from the cloying stares of women without a second glance.

A lonely wolf.

A wandering vagabond who called a stray mutt his master.

The Übermensch with nothing but a sword at his hip, traveling the world.

I was Ashuban.

Such petty temptations could never sway me.

When I still refused to show interest, Shushruta bit her lip, then said,

“I wasn’t going to go this far… but the truth is, I already know who you are.”

“Hm?”

Her lips curled into a sly smirk.

“Ashuban, Silver-ranked mercenary of the Sherwood Mercenary Corps of the Maia Kingdom. Am I wrong?”

“...!”

My eyes widened.

At last, seeing a real reaction, Shushruta pressed her advantage.

“You slipped through a dog hole at the city wall after failing the checkpoint, didn’t you? Deposited your mercenary token at the Hungry Gypsy tavern.”

“...”

“This morning you went to the Akenaten branch of the Mercenary Guild and took the grade exam under Branch Head Collin. You even knocked him flat, causing quite the stir.”

“...”

“You must have been desperate for money. Otherwise, why accept a contract targeting me, the Shadowless Phantom Thief? To pay the registration fee and flee town in a hurry, hm? Is someone on your tail?”

“You…”

I glared at her.

Her dark eyes sparkled, no longer clumsy or flustered but sharp with confidence.

“I don’t yet know by what route, or for what reason, you came here from the Maia Kingdom… but it’s only a matter of time. Release me, and I’ll erase your information from every ledger in existence. What do you say? Tempted now?”

“...”

I stared at her meaningful smile… then raised my hand and smacked her on the head.

Thunk!

“Yiaah!”

“Well, well. Trying to threaten me, are you? Want another taste of my knuckles?”

Sniffling, she snapped, “Stop hitting me in the same spot!”

“Then stop threatening me. Do it again, and I’ll show you hell.”

“...”

“What does it matter? Dig up my past all you want, I’ve got nothing to hide. Few men are as open and fearless as me.”

Shushruta muttered, “Even this doesn’t work…” She fell silent, then suddenly brightened as if struck by inspiration.

“Ah, just in—fresh news. Hot off the press. Surely you’re interested?”

“No.”

“You will be.”

She grinned wickedly, brimming with confidence.

“Because it concerns the Dagger of Ophosis. A new master has appeared.”

“What?”

I froze mid-step and turned to stare at her.

“So you’ve heard of it. Yes, the very same Dagger of Ophosis you’re thinking of. After decades of silence, it has resurfaced—a monumental event.”

“...”

I stared at her as she prattled on with excitement.

“The former owner was said to be Ophosis’ last hidden disciple, a man named Hans. But somehow, a stranger—an unfamiliar swordsman—has become its new master.”

“...”

“Did you hear about Baron Barankia’s estate? Left in ruins. Apparently, he tried to seize the dagger from that swordsman. In the struggle, not only his retainers, but the baron himself was slain. Utter madness. To assassinate a noble of the Blake Kingdom! I suspect he killed Hans the same way, taking the dagger by force. A heartless butcher, devoid of pity.”

“...”

“The royal family hasn’t heard yet, but once word reaches them, knights will be dispatched. If we want to catch him, we must hurry.”

“...”

“The culprit is… ah, should I really say? It’s precious information—only I know of it in these lands.”

“...”

“Fine. Consider it an investment. Let’s join forces to hunt him down. He’s close by, and with your strength—you bested Collin, after all—and your agility, fast enough to catch me off guard, plus my cunning, there’s no reason we can’t.”

“...”

“Then I’ll take that as agreement. The culprit, they say… is a merciless demon. A man who wields dreadful black magic.”

“...”

“They call him the Demon of Scarlet Eyes. For he wields a sword and his eyes burn as red as bloo—”

Shushruta froze, words caught in her throat.

Her mouth hung half open.

“...”

“...”

We locked eyes in silence.

(End of Chapter)