NOVEL WEB Chapter 23: Oops, She Did It Again
The alarms had prompted the guard to step in to check on the prisoners, Plynx and Thisbe subduing him quickly. Grabbing his key-fob, Plynx opened the door and released everyone, handing stun weapons to Augusta and Zyn. The Fujikawas were harder to wake, but they were at least functional enough to follow behind the trained combatants.
Getting to the nearest maintenance shaft access panel, to ensure Augusta and the Fujikawas could actually use the route, required some fighting against combat androids. It was nothing that Plynx, Zyn, and Augusta couldn’t handle, though. Especially in relatively tight corridors where the large combat drones struggled to maneuver.
Then they were in the maintenance shaft system, and hurrying towards the throne room.
“It should just be a few moments until we-all learn if the plan has gone the well or the very very poorly,” Plynx said as they got close to their destination.
With the guards tied up, it was only a matter of waiting for the Kobaroian queen to wake up. Svetlana was worried that the sledgehammer to the head had maybe been a bit much, but O’tmyil reminded her that young Kobaroians received accidental clocks to the head from their parents’ tail clubs all the time and she would be fine.
Still, Svetlana didn’t relax until the large alien woman groaned, and tried to move her arm to rub her head. O’ktaubr was still on standby mode, however, and so Queen Bokarza could barely wiggle her arm.
“Ah, good. You’re awake,” Svetlana said, walking over and bending to wave at the prone woman. She also smiled, as she’d decided to lower her helmet.
Whether it felt polite or taunting, she wasn’t sure, but she’d done it.
“Looks like we’ve had a little switch-around,” she said, still smiling. “My parents, Augusta, and the Mynx girls will be free by now and now you’re the hostage… anything you want to say for yourself before we make demands to your troops for your safety?”
As she asked, Queen Bokarza began to blush, before nodding. “Yes… will you marry me?”
Svetlana blinked. “What.”
A goofy smile spread across Bokarza’s face. “You’re so cute! And a good fighter. And you have so much confidence even though you’re so small! It’s adorable.”
Svetlana found herself not quite managing to process that. Sure, O’tmyil and Plynx had both told her before that Kobaroians were straightforward and honest folks but… that was a whole new level. She was about to ask again, just out of surprise, when a square was cut out of the floor not far from the throne.
Plynx and Zyn popped out first, looking ready to fight until they saw the situation and relaxed.
“What has queen-enemy done?” Plynx asked, noting Svetlana’s dumbstruck expression.
“She… the Kobaroian… she’s in love,” Thisbe said, before turning to Svetlana. “How do you keep doing that?”
“Wait, she’s telling the tru—it wasn’t on purpose!” Svetlana blurted.
“Good work, sweetie!” she heard her mother say, Karyna still mostly hidden inside the maintenance shaft but there enough to make Svetlana was to die of embarassment.
While she was distracted by that mortification, she felt O’tmyil do… something, and Queen Bokarza sat up, wiggling her fingers and letting out a sigh or relief at being able to move again.
“O’tmyil, she’s supposed to be a hostage,” Svetlana hissed.
[I told O’ktaubr to keep combat systems offline,] came the answer in her head.
“She’s giving a kind and selfless aura,” Thisbe said as the tall alien rubbed the part of her head where she’d been hit. “I think she’s nice.”
Svetlana found herself unable to argue with Thisbe. She was always amazing at getting reads on people through her empathic abilities.
“I am in favour of inviting her into the polycule,” Augusta said with a raised hand, her eyes all but sparkling.
“She is a Kobaroian-enemy!” Plynx protested.
Bokarza stood up, walking over to take Svetlana’s hands in her own. “I am willing to share you with the Issiod’rian. Marriage to a legitimate heiress to the imperial throne would be more than enough to open negotiations on my people’s side.”
Svetlana looked up, blushing a little at the size difference between them. Bokarza was certainly built like a tank, even if she was a bit shorter than Vivian. She wanted to say yes especially thanks to Bokarza’s innocent and hopeful smile, but the look from Plynx left her pausing. Svetlana knew Plynx better, and cared for her deeply. Bokarza was a stranger. Who hadn’t really given the best first impression, even if she did seem to be trying to make up for it.
“You-elder-sister should support this,” Zyn said. “We-Issiod’rians and Kobaroian-enemies both want the galaxy reunited in freedom. We just argue about planning… plus, Kobaroian-friends are nice to snuggle against. Very warm and thick skin to give them the protected from claws.”
Svetlana blinked, turning to the young feline girl. That last part had not been what she expected to hear.
“Feyr’s best-friend, who is also one of Zyn’s good-friends, is a Kobaroian citizen of our nation... Most nations are the multi-species,” Zyn explained.
Before Svetlana or Plynx could say anything else, the door to the room burst open, dozens of members of the royal guard charging in, shouting things in their alien tongue. Zyn and Plynx shifted to combat stances, only for Bokarza to grab Svetlana by the shoulders and shout something happy sounding back at the guards. The various guards froze up, seeming confused.
“What did you say to them?” Svetlana whispered.
“That I have decided to try to woo you,” Bokarza said with a large grin. “I am sure you will find it good for both of us.”
Svetlana wasn’t quite sure what to say. As she thought it over, a bit of movement caught her eye, and she realised how Bokarza’s tail was wagging about. That was… honestly pretty cute. Especially combined with the sparkle in her eyes.
“That… that could be good,” Svetlana replied.
“If we’re all friends now, can your guards lower their weapons?” Vivian asked, drawing Bokarza’s attention.
“You are very tall for an Earthling,” the queen said, looking up at Vivian.
“I’ve been told,” Vivian replied.
Bokarza gave a slow nod, before turning back to Svetlana. “Is she in your ‘polycule’ too?”
“Yes?” Svetlana replied.
Bokarza blushed again, a smile spreading across her face. “Oooh.”
The mayor and military types glared across the table at Svetlana.
“And so, why is the alien battleship still sitting in Bayfront Park?” the mayor asked.
“Queen Bokarza and I are dating. It’s her private ship,” Svetlana explained. “So she’s living on it while we date.”
The mayor let out a high pitched whine, akin to a boiling kettle. The military suits were less vocal with their disappointment, though their glares seemed to get harsher.
“I knew you had it in you,” Agent Lee said with a nod.
“Pardon?” Svetlana asked.
“We crunched the numbers and concluded there was a 52.8% chance of you successfully romancing the Kobaroic Queen. Our intelligence reports indicated she was a notorious disaster of a lesbian,” Agent Lee explained. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some phone calls to make.”
Svetlana gave a tentative nod as she watched him leave, before turning back to the mayor and military brass. “Uh… can I leave, then?”
“I suppose we can’t really stop you with the firepower on your side,” the one soldier muttered. (Svetlana did not know uniforms well enough to guess the man’s rank… probably up there somewhere, though?)
Three days had gone by. Plynx and Bokarza had remained tense the whole time, barely able to stay in the same room together. Which made both of them wanting to walk Svetlana home from work awkward.
Silence hung over the quartet, Cartridge seemed especially uncomfortable with it all. Which Svetlana couldn’t really blame her for. It wasn’t her relationship drama, yet she was being dragged into it. As so often happened to her.
“So, Bokarza,” Cartridge said, trying to break the silence. “Why are Kobaroian women so much taller than the men?”
“Hm? It’s to carry and protect our young more easily, of course?” the alien queen replied.
“Must be embarrassing to be so much shorter than average as queen,” Plynx muttered.
Bokarza blushed at that, pressing her fingers together. “W-well… when I was young, I liked big strong girls enough that I thought I had to be a boy… so that’s what I went with at my Grash Ceremony. It took me a few years in a boy’s academy to realise how wrong I was. I missed a growth spurt or two by the time I switched.”
The other three stared at her, then looked at each other.
“If you don’t let her date Svetlana, I can probably talk Geordi into opening up our relationship,” Cartridge said.
“You’re shameless,” Svetlana said.
“Of course,” Cartridge replied with a grin. “Especially for 6ft3 muscular trans alien women.”
“Alright. I will admit, she-Bokarza is cute,” Plynx muttered. “Much nicer than her predecessor.”
Bokarza grimaced. “Aah. Yes. Great Aunt Lokriz was… unpleasant. She said I was too indecisive to be queen even though I did the best on the succession test.”
Svetlana found herself a bit curious as to what all that meant for succession amongst the Emergency Authority, however seeing Agent Lee sitting on the bench outside of her apartment building proved something of a distaction.
“Mrs. Fujikawa. Good morning,” he said with an efficient nod.
“Hello?” she replied, no idea what he was up to now.
“I hear peace negotiations are coming along smoothly?” he said.
“Oh, uh… I think so? At least now that Plynx and Bokarza are getting along better?” Svetlana said, turning to see her two alien girlfriends blush.
“Good to hear,” Agent Lee replied simply. “The diplomats have expressed similar feelings. As such, I have three things for you to sign.”
“Things to sign?” Svetlana asked as Agent Lee handed her a stack of papers.
Looking over the first one, she found herself more than a little confused. There wasn’t much writing on it, yet… yet…
“I know legal-ese isn’t my strong point, but this… I… if I didn’t know better I would think it was about making me the monarch of Canada?” Svetlana said, more than a little confused.
“Indeed,” Agent Lee replied. “Personal Union with the United Kingdom has become less… prestigious of late. Changing royal families is constitutionally easier than becoming a republic. Also, personal union with the restored Galactic Empire would be beneficial for Ottawa.”
Svetlana blinked, before flipping to the next form. It was a number of pages paperclipped together, covering what she was pretty sure was:
“A bill on the legalisation of polyamorous marriage?” she said, not sure if she found that more or less confusing than the previous item.
“For your royal assent to the bill to be legally binding you will have to sign the acceptance of the Crown of Canada first,” Lee explained.
Svetlana gave a slow nod, before looking at the last item… a blank sheet of paper. She flipped it over, before holding it up to let the sun shine through it, hunting for an invisible message or… something.
“Ah. No. That is simply for an autograph. My husband is a fan of yours and hoped I could bring an autograph home,” Agent Lee said.
“Your… You’re married?” Svetlana asked.
“Yes,” Lee replied in an efficient and matter of fact tone.
“I didn’t think that a secret agent… um, well… I guess I can sign everything… I’m still surprised parliament signed off on someone like me becoming monarch,” Svetlana said, staring at the first sheet again.
“We may have… glossed over some points when briefing the more conservative MPs and Senators,” Lee explained.
“Ah,” Svetlana replied, still staring at the forms.
They just made the whole ‘royalty’ thing seem so much more real.
After a bit of debate, Svetlana had called Augusta, O’tmyil, and Thisbe to go over the documents given to her. She wanted to make sure she wasn’t signing up to any major responsibilities, liabilities, culpabilities, or… other potentially risky -bilities by accepting the position offered. She’d also called Vivian over to have everyone present for when she did sign the forms.
Agent Lee had happily taken the papers with him, promising that they would work out new living arrangements for Svetlana shortly. That kind of annoyed her as she liked the view from her apartment, with the short walk to the farmer’s market and other downtown amenities.
Still, she was fully and legitimately a monarch now. That was kind of cool. She needed to hang around some world leaders being obnoxiously queer.
After her girlfriends finished kissing her to celebrate her new job.
Which reminded her, they were going to have to figure out wedding plans. Well, she was pretty sure she’d also need to make arrangements with Plynx and Kobarza’s people to figure out how to make the weddings legally binding for… space laws. It probably wouldn’t be too hard though, ri—
The door burst open, a man with greying blonde hair marching into the apartment. It didn’t take long for Svetlana to work out who the man was, his family resemblance to his daughter rather strong.
“Augusta Hozenberg-Lemonov-Bouragne!” he shouted. “What is this I head about you chasing after women now?”
“P-papa!!” Augusta blurted. “Que faites-tu en Canada?”
That was followed by the window shattering, a man dressed in a way that Svetlana could only describe as having a ‘vampire slayer’ look jumping in. The man shouted at Thisbe, who seemed more confused than anything.
Before they could process that, there was a scream from the kitchen, Feyr running out of it, pursued by some sort blobby tentacled monstrosity that seemed to be using the microwave like a hermit crab used garbage for a shell.
Svetlana blinked. “Well, guess I’m staying up late today…”
Well, there we have it.
I do want to thank everyone for reading along as I wrote. The response this story has gotten has really blown me away. It’s been quite amazing. I do hope folks will like my other stories as well. Some of them might have a bit of a different tone, but they’re pretty well all set to be quite queer. Also, most are similarly funny. (At least I like to think so. I know my sense of humour is… odd at times.)
With the writing part of HaProTGirl done, I am (somewhat slowly) working on making an illustrated version that will be for sale in the near future. Also, if you want more content of Svetlana and the girls specifically, I do plan to write the occasional patreon only bonus bits, since I have a few ideas, but nothing that really fits in the main narrative nor things that would really warrant a full sequel. And the support would be very appreciated, since it would mean I don’t have to work as much and so can write more.
And, once more, to round it out: thank you for reading!