The Guide to Capturing a Black Lotus

Reality proved that one couldn’t be too pleased with oneself.

After one becomes mired in their pride, it’s easy for them to fall onto their face.

Miaomiao’s foot landed on air. When she fell into the empty space hidden by the trap cover, she was still enraptured by the beauty of the fiery flower. At the moment she fell rapidly down, she saw Mu Sheng’s face still as calm as ever. He opened his mouth with a hint of laughter in his eyes: “Be a bit more careful.”

She suddenly seemed to understand something in her heart. She couldn’t help but curse upwards while falling down: “You noticed this trap a long time ago right?!”

Her voice echoed and Mu Sheng’s face had long since disappeared.

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As she continually fell, a greenish-blue cloud suddenly appeared before her eyes. She instinctively closed her eyes and fell onto the dense cloud. She could feel something rapidly grabbing onto her four limbs and firmly tie them up.

Under her, the ground was both ice-cold and hard. A chilly wind blew from all directions, drilling into her collar and sleeves.

She opened her eyes. The hole had no lights and there was a bamboo tree beside her. This bamboo wasn’t anything normal, it was as thick as a water bucket. The top of it was covered with black spots and the bamboo joints were scarily thick. Two ribs grew off it into enormous branches and leaves, seemingly covering the sky with its size.

Ykysxkys bye dlhla plld pwnb y zwpb cyxcss vall clqsal.

Gp pbl oyvnble kv, vbl cyxcss vall pwarakpkdtzu pvyavle vs xshl vsoyaep bla cu kvplzq, vbl zlyhlp sd kvp nasod zlv swv awpvzkdt dskplp yp kv eke ps.

Gqvla y xsal nyalqwz zssj, pbl nswze pll vbyv vbl cyxcss vall’p caydnblp yde zlyhlp olal vbl yaxp sq y rlapsd.

Mbl cyxcss rlapsd prsjl kd y pwarakpkdtzu nsxknyz dypyzzu hsknl: “Esxyd, usw olya pwnb talld nzsvblp. Zsw czldele kdvs vbl qsalpv ps olzz kv vssj wp y zsdt vkxl vs ekqqlaldvkyvl usw swv.”

Ykysxkys zsolale bla blye vs zssj yv bla sod fyel talld pjkav yde fynjlv, vbkdjkdt vs blaplzq: Gx R vs czyxl qsa vbyv?

Mbl pnyaklpv rzsvzkdl sq vbl talld cyxcss qsalpv bye yaakhle—- Nkdt Zw oyp nyrvwale cu y elxsd yde kv vssj vbl xykd zlye piwye y obszl dktbv vs nsxl pyhl bla.

Fbl nswzed’v yhske byhkdt vs pvyu vbl dktbv okvb vblpl cyxcss rzydvp. Ykysxkys zlv swv y pktb: “Wakldep, obyv jkde sq elxsd yal usw yzz?”

“Gal usw czkde? Uyd’v usw pll qsa uswaplzq?” Gp vbl cyxcss rlapsd qlzz kdvs yd kdektdydv aytl, kvp dypyzzu hsknl vwadle lhld blyhkla.

”Even bamboo can become self-conscious?” Miaomiao conveyed her utter astonishment and thus was harshly whipped by a bamboo joint in the next moment, “Not self-conscious, we’re demons!”

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The bamboo’s hand was the branch in the air. The branch itself was split open and the rough barbs on the leaves were still dew laden. When it lashed her body, it immediately ripped open a segment of her clothes and the dew wet her skin. Miaomiao’s delicate skin immediately turned into a blood red mark.

It was extremely painful and she immediately shut up. A layer of cold sweat started to grow on her forehead.

She couldn’t help but question the system: What the fart?! The missions have dangers that can kill me?

The system continued to pretend like it was dead.

History’s most pathetic transmigrator Ling Miaomiao felt like if she stood up, she would get herself killed. She felt like she was hearing the sound of an attack being prepared, causing a surge of terror inside of her: “Uhm, Brother Bamboo Demon…”

She especially emphasized the word ‘demon’. Her back stuck closely to the rock wall behind: “You guys… were originally green organisms, you should be vegetarians right?”

“Hmph.” The comically nasal voice filled the cave again. However, this time Miaomiao didn’t feel that it was cute in the slightest, “My son is about to pass his one-month birthday so I wanted to catch someone to make clothes for him.”

“That’s good… I can make clothes.”

Miaomiao followed up with: “I’ve made clothes for the little babies and children in my family before… A little bamboo eh…”

She thought about it carefully, it should be a bamboo shoot right? How does one make clothes for a bamboo shoot?

It should be as green as the shell of a corn cob… probably.

The bamboo seemed to be somewhat jittery as it walked back and forth. It’s dark green silhouette shook back and forth in front of her eyes: “Summer is too hot, winter is too cold. I want to make him a new set of good clothes for him to wear.”

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Ling Miaomiao felt herself slowly getting suspended up in the air as a vine-like branch tightly grabbed onto her arm. She felt a painful rush of blood and then a sour numbness. As she hung up in the air, she swayed to and fro with her greenish-blue skirt edge lightly touching her feet as she swayed.

“Making clothes… why do I need to be suspended in the air while making them?”

Miaomiao felt a bad premonition: If she had to endure like this for an entire night, would she even be able to use her hands afterwards?

”Creak creak—-” The sound that sounded like a knife being sharpened grew increasingly close. She felt her ear going numb at the sound. A long, verdant green bamboo slowly showed itself in. Its front was sharp and its back was blunt like a ginormous awl. Fibrous yellowing strands billowed in all directions, gathering at the apex of the sharpest point.

As soon as Miaomiao saw this sharp-headed bamboo, she felt a surge of horror in her mind. The bamboo demon lifted up the massive awl and moved it to touch Ling Miaomiao’s throat in a moment. The enormous awl drew a few lines in the air beside her and hooked her clothes in several places. It then moved away again, like it was measuring her but also like it was wondering where to start from.

“Mhm… The nasally voice was full of satisfaction: “This time, it’s not bad.”

”Big Brother Bamboo Demon…” Miaomiao’s voice was somewhat trembling, “Dare I ask… what… what kind… what kind of clothes do you wish for?”

The big brother bamboo demon was fully satisfied with this shameless venerating expression of hers: “My mood today is pretty good. I’ll go take you to see the old clothes.”

Ling Miaomiao was slowly let down to the ground and then roughly dragged by a vine through two cave entrances. Her bare elbow had a layer of skin broken by the chafing and then covered by dust.

The cavern was extremely dark. Long and short stalactites hung from above but in the darkness, they seemed like the fangs of a beast with its jaws wide open.

“Drip drop…” The sound of water dripping down onto the cold cave floor filled the cave. A drop of cold liquid splashed onto Miaomiao’s forehead and found its way squiggling down the bridge of her nose. When it reached the tip of her nose and hung suspended at the moment before its fall, a sweet yet metallic smell entered Miaomiao’s nose.

Ling Miaomiao felt like an explosion went off in her head. She subconsciously raised her head to take a look and saw a dark human figure hanging up in the air.

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It was the outline of a completely naked person with their head lowered. Their withered yellow hair fell down like a mop and their body was enormous: It was hard to tell whether they were a male or female.

Although the person looked like they had long lost any breath of life, the body was still softly drifting about in the air, caused by the small breeze within. It was even rotating like a wind chime; It looked extremely bizarre.

It very slowly, little by little, turned around to face her. Ling Miaomiao forced down the scream of terror that suddenly sprung up within her.

No wonder this person’s silhouette was so massive and could even be blown about by the light breeze: His stomach was like a balloon that exploded from being overly inflated, rips and tears everywhere. His skin was stretched to the limit and obvious dark green veins were all over his stomach. Under his stomach was a verdant green branch; The branch was strangely growing nonstop. It had pierced through the man’s waist and into his limbs. It just simply looked like the bamboo had taken the human and put it on as some sort of outer skin.

Ling Miaomiao had heard of the story of caterpillar fungus: They weren’t insects in the winter yet they also turned into grass in the summer. They drilled into the bodies of hibernating larva as little spores in the winter. Then, when the caterpillars go into hibernation, they start growing and taking over slowly, completely absorbing all of the nourishment within the caterpillars body. It would grow all the way until it’d run completely through the caterpillar, treating the caterpillar like some sort of warm clothing… ¹ [1] I did some research and these Caterpillar Fungi, aka Ophiocordyceps sinensis, usually grow in the highlands of the Himalayas and Tibetan Plateau. In early spring, they grow out of the dead caterpillar’s body and only start sending out spores in late summer. The most vulnerable time for the caterpillar larvae is right after they shed in late summer so… Yea and the cycle repeats itself.

Goodness gracious, it had made something that was on the apex of the food chain fashion, a human skin jacket.

She couldn’t help but feel her legs grow weak: “Yo-you… did you want to ‘make’ me into clothes?”

The bamboo demon laughed: “The previous person was too old and not durable enough to wear. You’re more suitable.”

“You’re kidding me!” Miaomiao’s hands were tied up and she struggled to retreat backwards, “Do you know who I am? My senior brother is Liu Fuyi!”

Even if these demons had never heard of the mighty name of the male lead, they should feel some terror at the very least towards the ridiculously cheat-like Nine Mysterious Demon Restraining Pagoda right?

“Liu Fuyi?” The bamboo demon was stunned for a moment before it coldly smiled. “Lying little brat, there isn’t even the slightest hint of Liu Fuyi’s aura on you. You dare try to trick me?”

Miaomiao was stunned and realized that the scented sachet had already been taken away by Mu Sheng. She couldn’t help but feel a surge of despair.

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“Don’t touch me! I was brought here by the Family Head of the Mu Family, Mu Yao! They’ll be here any moment now!”

“Mu Family people—-” A sinister smile appeared on the bamboo demon’s face, “We have a bloody sea of revenge waiting for them, they came at the perfect time! If she wants to look for you, I’ll first put your corpse by the entrance to welcome them!”

”Come, peel her open! Start the feast!”

Miaomiao never would’ve thought that her words said in a bid to save her life would only push her faster towards it. Before the bamboo demon’s words had faded, she was suspended high up in the air and shuttled through several caves like she was riding a rollercoaster. Her shoulder was ripped open by a stalagmite as she was heavily thrown into a cave, causing dust to fly up as she landed.

“Creak creak creak…” She was thrown so hard her eyes went blank and her head was in a daze. Faintly, she could see a group of small demons that looked like jointless puppets charging towards her while twisting every which way.

No way right…

[System? System!! Save me! I’m going to die!!!!!!]

It was quiet for a moment, in her line of sight, she could already see the leading green little demon sizing her up.

The system was as quiet as a fowl.

No way right… did she disconnect or something!? Did she get thrown into this world all by herself…

Ice cold terror completely filled her every pore.

“Stop! Don’t touch my clothes!” Miaomiao roared and bit down on the bamboo demon. She felt like she was biting down on a woven bamboo mat that was both dry and hard.

“Can’t take it off… she’s biting us.” The little demon’s voice still sounded of its mother’s breast milk, if that was even possible, and also carried with it a tone of having been wronged.

”Hmph, she’s going to die anyways, why do you need face for? All of you go!”

Liu Fuyi filled two waterskins with water from the spring. One, he silently put in front of Mu Yao, who had her eyes closed and was hugging her knees. He wanted to give the other Miaomiao but upon taking a look around, he didn’t see her shadow at all.

“Ah Sheng, where’s Miaomiao?” He walked over and saw Mu Sheng with his hands clasped behind his back, standing there kind of out of sorts.

“I didn’t see her.” He turned around with a smile on his lips. His ink black pupils were motionlessly staring at him; It was an enmity filled kind of reaction.

Liu Fuyi felt his heart suddenly jump: “She was just with you? How could she disappear?”

“Perhaps she ran off somewhere to play.” Mu Sheng turned back around, seemingly as if he had lost interest. However, his shoulder was clasped by Liu Fuyi and his expression turned heavy: “Miaomiao doesn’t know how to use spells, how could you let her run off nilly willy by herself!?

Mu Sheng lightly brushed off Fuyi’s hand and then gave him a rather lukewarm smile: “If you’re so worried, why don’t you go look for her yourself? Why do you have to come ask me?”

This strange attitude all of a sudden… Liu Fuyi felt somewhat enraged, “Mu Sheng, stop right there!”

”What’s wrong?” The two’s dispute alerted Mu Yao and she suddenly appeared behind Mu Sheng wearing her moonlight white skirt. The corner of Mu Sheng’s mouth curled up and the light in his eyes as he stared at Liu Fuyi grew increasingly bright. His words, however, were completely filled with the sense that he had been greatly wronged: “Sister, judge for yourself— Miaomiao ran off by herself, why is he blaming me for not watching her properly.”

All along the road, Mu Yao could be said to have had enough of the butterfly-like Ling Miaomiao flitting back and forth around Liu Fuyi. She looked over to Liu Fuyi. Her placid tone contained a sneer that she herself didn’t notice: “I’m guessing that if she didn’t run off to catch butterflies, she must’ve gone to take a bath and pick flowers. Perhaps she’ll return in no time.”

“Yao’er, she’s like me and you!” Liu Fuyi’s gaze flew past them and looked around in all directions. There was only just the dense bamboo forest around them. This was the first time Ling Miaomiao had left her home and she wouldn’t recognize the roads, “If something were to happen…”

“If something were to happen, that’s your responsibility.” Mu Yao watched him, “You were the only that stubbornly allowed her to join, bringing her along with us onto the road…”

“That’s right. I’ve even taught her Exploding Sparks.” Mu Sheng’s expression was extremely innocent, “If she were to meet danger, I believe that she would definitely have the capability to deal with it.”

“Ah Sheng…” There was a shocked sense of reproach in Mu Yao’s eyes, “You…”

“Don’t worry sis.” Mu Sheng gently smiled, “I’ve taught her but whether or not she’ll learn anything… I don’t know about that.”

[1] I did some research and these Caterpillar Fungi, aka Ophiocordyceps sinensis, usually grow in the highlands of the Himalayas and Tibetan Plateau. In early spring, they grow out of the dead caterpillar’s body and only start sending out spores in late summer. The most vulnerable time for the caterpillar larvae is right after they shed in late summer so… Yea and the cycle repeats itself.

TLN: Fun fact of the day: Me and liltato have the same birthday. How crazy is that right? Idk if I’m stressed or something but I’ve been having pretty strong food binging urges lately… but I’ve been doing the complete opposite: eating half the amount I normally eat :thinking: I wonder how things will end.

EDIT: Whoops forgot to schedule this chapter haha….