The Great Hero is a Schoolteacher

Catalin’s light went out and the four of us stayed frozen, as silent as we could. Chess drew their sword very slowly, eyes on the open door of the room. There were other sounds downstairs, and no matter how hard I tried, the only way I could explain them was the presence of something, or someone, big and heavy, walking in the workshop.

If we didn’t move, would we stay unnoticed? Terror made my stomach feel as if I'd swallowed a stone. I wished I’d never been summoned, or accepted that foolish quest… Had I not died over there, I’d be relaxing on the day after my birthday party, possibly with a light hangover. Now, I was trying to hide from a threat I couldn’t see, every fiber of my body infused with high-octane fear.

I could hardly breathe and now I heard wood creak.

Oh no, the stairs! It’s walking up.

Too frightened to move or make a sound, I tried my best mimes to tell Chess, who was closest to the door, that they should shut it. They didn’t understand. Quite the contrary, actually. They risked an eye in the corridor, and whatever they saw made them jump back.

They’re moving quite silently on the wooden floor, I’ll give them that.

We all backed up behind the writing desk, trying to hide behind it. I wanted to disappear. I wanted the threat to be gone. I couldn’t even ask Chess what they’d seen in the corridor, lest the noise should attract more danger.

Whatever it was, it walked straight into the study, as if it’d known where we were from the start.

Maybe it did know we were here. I did trigger something when I entered the room. Clumsy me, I’m the only one here with the ability to see spells, and I can’t even stop to look for one before stepping into a wizard’s working place!

I peeked from behind the desk. I had to know.

When I saw the creature’s face, or lack thereof, my blood froze. Its head was an egg-shaped block of wood, and its whole body looked made out of various parts of furniture, assembled by someone who wasn’t a woodworker, but who included oversized fists in their design. Hinges and springs allowed its vaguely humanoid shape to walk and close the door behind it.

We were trapped.

“For the love of all, what is it?” whispered Taiki.

Catalin shook her head. “I have no idea.”

“It looks like a golem,” I said.

“A what?”

I winced. She’s a Magic Arts student and she doesn’t know what a golem is?

“It’s not moving,” commented Chess. “Can we try to get past it?”

Indeed. The wooden creature was standing perfectly still, imperfect and asymmetrical. It looked like a lifeless, harmless sculpture, now, and I could understand why we’d failed to notice it. It’d probably stayed hidden in the workshop for years, indistinguishable from the various pieces of furniture piled in the corner.

Chess stood up.

In the blink of an eye, the wooden creature lifted its huge fists. As soon as Chess tried to walk to the door, it attacked them, its hinges creaking. It was much faster than I thought.

Taiki sprang out from the other side of the desk, possibly to try and surprise the opponent, but the golem managed to throw punches at both fighters while keeping its back to the door, blocking the exit.

Chess and Taiki narrowly dodged their respective blows. Given the size and speed of these fists, if any of them got hit, they might be badly hurt.

They crouched behind the desk again. We needed a way out.

“The window?” I suggested.

I was far enough from the golem to give it a closer look, so I stood up. A fist almost hit me. I felt the blood drained from my face and I fell back on my knees, while the creature’s arm shrank to its initial size. It has fluid cylinders! How far can it stretch?

“It didn’t move because we stayed still,” said Catalin. “If we try anything, it’ll attack.”

“Well, we can’t stay here forever!” protested Taiki. “We need to get out of this place. At the count of three, we try again!”

With his twin knives firmly held in his hands, and Chess’s sword on the other side, they tried to attack together. Both fighters were very mobile and fast, but with different styles. On one side of the room, Chess ran and changed directions like a world-class tennis player.

Not exactly. A tennis player wouldn’t keep their hips facing the opponent, or hold their racket the way Chess holds their sword. But still.

On the other side, Taiki jumped and somersaulted, his long tail helping him keep his balance. His speed made up from his lack of reach, and his knives looked better suited to cutting wood than Chess’s one-handed sword.

The creature faced the two of them in a fast spin, parrying one blade after the other. They exchanged a quick glance and switched sides. They tried again, and again, changing angles. They lunged. Taiki rolled, but couldn’t reach the creature. Only one of Chess’s expert cuts hit its target. The sword left a notch in the golem’s right arm without hindering its movements.

The fighters caught their breath after the assault. While they stayed still, so did their opponent. Once again, it could be mistaken for a lifeless collection of mismatched wooden elements.

There has to be a way.

“I have an idea!” I said. “What if we moved very slow?”

I tried to slide my feet on the wooden floor, but the creature reacted at once. It slammed the planks, leaving a hole just where I was trying to go. Its other arm slapped Chess, who had decided to attack at the same time. This time, the cadet couldn’t dodge the hit. They collapsed against the wall with a groan of pain, then stood back up, but stayed in place, panting.

This is not going to work. Come on, Alicia, think! I’m not letting these brave young people die here because some vintage robot made of table legs crushes something every time we move. But what can I do? Can I make it smash the stained-glass window for us?

I looked behind me. We were still at the second floor of the building, and if I remembered correctly, there were rocks on this side of the house.

Even if we manage to jump, won’t we get hurt in the fall? If I had one precise question to ask Cherub, maybe I could get us out of there, but right now, I have too many of them and I don’t know where to start!

“Al?” asked Catalin, still crouching by the writing desk.

“Yes?”

“That word you said, golem, is that right? What is it?”

It was a strange moment to ask such a question, but with all of us staying right where we were and our opponent as motionless as a statue, I could take the time to answer.

“It’s a legend from my native world. Originally, it’s a crude representation of a human being, sculpted out of clay and brought to life by a divine word hidden inside it. It doesn’t have a mind. It only obeys its creator.”

She made a critical face. “This creature isn’t made of clay, so why did it make you think of a golem?”

Because this world feels too eighteenth century for me to think of a robot!

I sighed. “The original legend spawned many variants, and popular culture imagined other kinds of golems. They’re always constructs with artificial life, but depending on the author, they can be made of pretty much anything, from rocks to dead bodies… or wood.”

And at least one author wrote that they can have free will if you state it on the sacred paper you place inside their heads.

Catalin frowned. “Strange. Did you ever see any of them?”

“In countless stories, but as far as I know, they were never real in my world.”

Taiki sneered. “Well, that thing’s real and it deserves a taste of my Tibun knives!”

He attacked again, followed by Chess. Their synchronization was better this time. They moved at the same pace, lunged together from opposite sides, and they cut more splinters. However, they were getting tired, while their opponent only suffered minor cosmetic damage, and could possibly go on forever.

Catalin clenched her teeth.

“I can’t let them defend us and stay behind doing nothing!”

A little ball of fire appeared at her fingertips. It was a freshman’s spell, fast and easy, and in no roleplaying game would it ever qualify as a proper fireball, but it could certainly burn wood. She shot it at the creature. The fire went out before it touched its target. I covered the bottom of my face with both hands, watching the fight, seeing my friends risking their lives, and thinking as hard as I could.

That thing resists magic. Golems do, in most stories. Which means the more I see Mr. Wooden here, the more similarities it shares with my world’s golems. In other words, it must have a weak point, so we might have a chance. I just need to find the key.

“Chess, Taiki, Catalin!” I shouted. “Mr. Wooden only has two arms, so it can fight two of us, but probably not four! Try to move as erratically as possible, to confuse it and make it less accurate!”

“Mr. Wooden?” Taiki gasped.

“We’ll discuss names later! Just go, and don’t synchronize this time!”

Catalin and I sprang out from behind the desk, joining the fighters in an eerie dance around the room. We jumped, spun and ran like mad, but the golem reacted to every movement. The only thing that saved us was that, as I supposed, it only had two arms and thus couldn’t aim at all of us.

Crash! A chest broke. Thud! Books scattered all over the floor. The golem almost looked like a cat playing with mice, barely hurting us, but punching holes in the floor and breaking furniture. Even by scattering all over the room, we could barely dodge its various slams. The place was a mess, and none of us had a chance to open the door. At least, my companions didn’t. I was looking for another kind of opening.

This is tough! That creature’s blind, so there’s no attacking it from behind. It just doesn’t need eyes to know where we are.

Yet, my chaotic path drew me closer and closer. I wouldn’t have time to dodge a punch, now. My human brain’s response time would be too long. I could only hope I’d be quick to find what I was looking for, or the next hit would break my ribs.

A golem is brought to life by a divine word…

Turoch Garnet wasn’t a priest, but a wizard. To animate his creation, he’d probably used a spell. And as the Great Hero Al, blessed with the ability to read magic, I should be able to see its trace somewhere on the wood.

I jumped and rolled and jerked. A fist brushed against my back, making me scream in pain. I wasn’t badly hit, though. Taiki took the most part of the blow. The shock made him let go of one of his knives, and I saw blood out of the corner of my eye. If this fight went on, someone would die.

There it is!

The symbol was hidden inside a hinge. Its shape reminded me of alien writing from some science-fiction movie I couldn’t remember. But as soon as I saw it, I knew what I had to do. Just like in the legend from my world, the word that gave life to the golem could be erased.

I held up my hand and brushed the magic away. The hinge closed on my finger.

It’s going to crush it! Goodbye index finger, I liked you…

But the movement slowed down and stopped. The hinge never closed completely, so I was only slightly bruised, and I fell on the floor, hitting my head. The whole world spun around me. I stayed there, lying, unable to get up for a moment. I couldn’t believe it was over. I thought I’d sacrifice a finger to save the others’ lives, but we were barely harmed after all, and my hand was still whole. I closed my eyes, catching my breath.

“That was close, but I think Mr. Wooden’s gone for good!” commented Taiki.

I opened my eyes. He was getting back the knife he’d dropped in the fight. There was blood in his ashen hair, but I felt relieved to see he didn’t have a new scar on his face.

Catalin and Chess gently prodded the now motionless creature. No reaction. With the animation spell gone, it was only a collection of cylinders and table legs. The kind of sculpture one would expect to see in a museum of contemporary art, in my native world.

Catalin knelt near me.

“How did you stop it, Al?”

“I erased the symbol that made it move. Like in the legend, you know. Hiding a divine word inside the golem makes it alive, and removing it turns it back into an oddly shaped planter.”

She giggled and coughed a little. “How did you know?”

“I didn’t. I only hoped some things would work the same from one world to another.”

“Anyway, thanks for saving us.”

She helped me sit up. I still felt dizzy, my back was a mess, and I’d probably have a nasty bump on my head, but I still looked better than the devastated room, formerly a peaceful study, now a chaos of splinters and glass shards. There was nothing left to save here, not even the stained-glass pattern that had brought us all the way from Carastra.

What a waste of good books.

“Do you think we’ll find what we want in the grimoire?” I asked.

Catalin nodded. “The spell has to be in there. Just give me some time to decipher it.”

The last two rooms were a bedroom and a bathroom, both modern for a baroque-era house in the woods, but otherwise quite ordinary. We checked them quickly before making our way out. We were relieved not to stumble upon a new threat.

Mr. Wooden didn’t move as we left the house.

Turoch Garnet probably made this wood golem himself, in the workshop downstairs, to protect his precious study when he was away. Then he died, decades ago, and nobody ever came here to warn the golem that its master wasn’t coming back. I’d feel sad if I thought this creature was sentient.

Or was it?

We pushed Taiki’s boat away from the moldy pier, and rowed back out of the forest, where we could hoist the sail again.