NOVEL WEB Prologue: Back to the beginning
Xie Yi stared at the body in front of him, his own heart frozen. He couldn’t feel the blood in his veins, couldn’t feel his fingers, couldn’t feel anything.
The dungeon must have been rather cold - he could lightly see his breath form pure white clouds in front of his face, the only ones in the room. No one else was breathing. It was a sad thing to notice; he would have loved nothing more than seeing the person in front of him breathe as well.
He hadn’t wanted this.
He hadn’t wanted any of this.
Blood was hotly dripping down his face, the sound echoing within the room as it landed on the crimson pool that had formed beneath his feet. Seeping into the gaps between the stones, into the ground. It would seep into the earth beneath it, just like so many other people's blood before, no difference between them and Shi Yue. The dungeon had been built underground to keep away the stench and screams, but the fact that blood was easy to get rid off had been a bonus.
They had misunderstood.
He had misunderstood.
That hadn’t been his intention.
They had been so proud to bring him in. Had found him on the way up to the dungeon and immediately surrounded him. Had laughed and tugged at him to follow them, down into the underground. They had brought him something while he was away, a present.
They pulled him, who was distracted, farther and farther in, to the deepest part and opened the door. Grinning widely, with a perverted sense of satisfaction twinkling in their eyes as they displayed their present to their master.
If he could turn back time-
If he could just understand what he had said, earlier-
“Are you happy now?”, had been his final words before his eyes dimmed. Those beautiful, beautiful violet eyes, shining like gems.
They had always been full of hostility towards him, but at that moment, it had been resignation.
He was beautiful and proud, even in death. Even hung up, pierced by hooks, like an animal. That admirable man, limply hanging from the torture instrument that had been placed on the wall. The deepest part of the dungeon, the most cruel, the most disgusting. Even then did Xie Yi think that there was nothing more beautiful in this world than this man. Nothing more proud, nothing more noble, nothing more praiseworthy.
His silver hair was dishevelled, something he would have never allowed alive. Long it had been, down to his waist and always styled simply and neatly. It had been torn apart, just like his clothes, the white robes hanging in shreds. Hundreds of thousand bloody cuts, just enough to be painful and bleeding, not enough to kill immediately. More of a slow, agonizing death after a mixture of internal injuries and blood loss.
Because they had done that, once Xie Yi had seen the torn body, he had done the same to them. Shredded them. Tore them apart. They were so weak compared to him, easily dying away until their bodies littered everywhere on the ground. The room was reeking of iron, but he could not smell any of it. Too used to the stench, maybe, or maybe just too numb.
Was he crying blood, or was it the blood of those people dripping down his hair unto his cheeks? He couldn’t even tell anymore.
“I’m sorry”, Xie Yi whispered as he reached out and then stopped himself from touching the mangled cheek.
“I’m sorry”, he repeated. If only he had understood; understood who he was, understood who Shi Yue was.
“I’m sorry”, like it could make it any better. At first, all those years ago, Shi Yue had tried to convert him to the right path, but he had listened too much to the poisoned words of his elders to understand.
Xie Yi had been a street-rat. When he was picked up by the elders in black robes, he had taken them as his saviours. They gave him food. They gave him clothes. They trained him. And trained him. And trained him.
Until no one could beat him. Until anything they said, he could do.
“Don’t you think they are being rude? You should shut them up permanently”, they had said, so he ripped out the tongues of those who were rude.
“Don’t you think it’s a shame for them to get the cores? We could use them better”, they had said, so he took what belonged to others and presented it to the elders.
“Don’t you think it would be better if they couldn’t annoy you anymore? If only they could go away…”, they had whispered sweetly, so he silenced the voices who annoyed him forever.
It was fine.
They had said it was fine.
It was just something normal.
When he had first seen Shi Yue, he had felt like being on fire. He had been older than most people, but still so young for a cultivator. He couldn't understand the feeling.
The man had been dressed in his typical white-blue robes, hair swaying in the wind as he struck down the demonic beast to protect a group of travellers. He hadn’t smiled at them - rather, his face had stayed the same throughout everything - but Xie Yi thought he could see the gentleness in his eyes.
Shi Yue.
He belonged to another sect, that much he knew, and he also knew where they were stationed, so he often went to watch from afar.
Ah, someone was rude to sect leader Shi Yue. He should get rid of them for him.
Ah, someone didn’t listen to sect leader Shi Yue. He should make sure they would never be able to do anything else than listen.
Ah, you need something? Whatever you need, I will bring it to you.
He had thrown a thousand demonic cores down before Shi Yue’s feet, smiling brightly.
“Aren’t you happy?”, he had said gleefully. How great, that he could help him.
“Are you crazy!”, Shi Yue had bellowed with wide eyes. Why did he sound so mad?
“You- You killed them all, just for the cores!”, he continued, his voice louder than usual.
Oh, were they not enough? The elders said that presents need to be given plenty to make people like you. So he needed to send more.
The bandits that were troubling the common people, Xie Yi had heard that sect leader Shi Yue wanted to detain them. He could do that for him! It was no problem at all!
As proof, he threw the hundred and twenty-six heads down before Shi Yue’s feet.
“Look, a present”, he had said, laughing.
“Xie Yi, stop this!”, Shi Yue had said, attacking him.
He hadn't felt that it was a good time to spar, actually. But if Shi Yue wanted to spar, then he would comply. After all, he was happy that Shi Yue didn’t want him to be burdened with everything. But he was happy to help.
Just-
Those others, who interfered with their spar, they were annoying. So he got rid of them.
Somehow, he still felt that Shi Yue was never really happy with his presents.
He had tried everything he could think of and everything the elders suggested. But it never worked.
Why? Why had it taken him so long to understand, just a bit?
He still didn’t understand it fully, but just this bit, wasn’t it really bad?
This ‘Demonic Sect Leader, Xie Yi’ - wasn’t it really, really bad? Wasn’t ‘Demonic’ really, really bad?
Wasn’t ‘Demonic’ something that the ‘Virtuous Sect’ and their leader, Shi Yue, hated?
Why was it that when he went to town a week ago without the elders knowing, he had people say his name in fear? Talk about the things he did in fear? Weren’t those things…
Weren’t they presents?
Just like-
...Just like his subordinates had brought him to see Shi Yue’s mangled body as a present?
Aah.
He had been so stupid.
It had confused him, that time in the town. He had tried to understand and failed, so he sought out the elders today. They always had answers, so he hoped to hear an explanation from them. If the townspeople didn't like his presents, then maybe Shi Yue really hadn't, either. A lot of it had been their suggestion, so they should know.
When he had come back to ask the elders, the ones that raised him, they had turned mad at him.
How dare he question them. How dare he listen to what others say. He just needed to follow their orders.
Orders?, he had asked. Orders? You were giving me orders? I don’t remember you ordering me.
Although, he had thought, it was true - in the end, didn’t he always do what they suggested? Wasn’t that why things had turned out like this?
He had asked them, once more. But he hated their answer. Shi Yue was worthless, a coward, not someone who should be at Xie Yi’s side. It would be better if he died.
Xie Yi had cut their throats to silence them. Those words, no one should say them. Shi Yue was like a god descended to earth, a benevolent and divine being. No one could sully him. Moreover, weren't they the ones to tell him that anyone who stood in his way should vanish? He listened well, didn't he? Just that the elders were in his way, so they needed to be gone.
Anyone between him and Shi Yue should be gone. Their suggestions... no, their orders had been bad. It was better for him to decide on his own. He could go to Shi Yue and tell him... something. Something that would make him happy.
Oh, right, he had-
He had to-
Hadn’t his subordinates gone out to do something a few hours ago? Hadn't they mentioned something about the Virtuous Sect? Were they going to see Shi Yue?
He had to hurry and find them, so as to make sure they didn’t do anything that would make Shi Yue even angrier.
Surely, Shi Yue was mad at him for doing all those horrible things.
His heart had clenched at the thought. He left behind his sword covered in the blood of his elders and ran out, hoping to find his subordinates as soon as possible.
How stupid.
“I’m sorry”, he sobbed, finally unable to hold it in. When he fell down to his knees, tears or blood blurring his sight still focused on the body in front of him, the blood on the ground gave a sick splash.
“Please come back”, he begged. “I promise I won’t do it again! I promise I will learn, so I will understand! I promise I will listen to everything you say, I will be good, I won’t-”
He choked and hiccuped, clawing at his face. It was too quiet right now, like the silence of death. The sect was empty right now, everyone else out for hunting and the dungeon not keeping any prisoners. Everyone else-
Everyone else was dead. His elders were dead at his hand. His subordinates were dead at his hand. Shi Yue-
“Please”, he whispered, clutching at the bloody robes and burying his face into them. His body was spasming, the pain and guilt just too heavy to bear, tearing at his heart to the point where he had to wonder whether it was still beating at all. Breathing was becoming harder and harder, but he willingly gave every bit of it for the things he wished to say. “Please give me another chance.”
Alas, somewhere someone sighed. Alas, stupid child.
I heard you.
Xie Yi blinked his reddish eyes at the sun.
His stomach still hurt, which wasn’t too surprising, considering he had torn it open and ripped out his stomach and lungs and heart.
Oh, his ribcage was still hurting, too. Since that had been in the way.
But everything didn’t really make sense. As far as he knew, one would die after doing something like that and wherever his soul had landed, a small town with bustling people and bright sunshine didn’t sound feasible. It was too gentle and warm on his face and much too normal.
Or maybe it did? Maybe he just didn’t know. Like a lot of things.
Xie Yi cocked his head, looking down at himself.
He was sitting on the ground, on cold, hard stone, the type that was used for alleys and other streets that wouldn't be walked on overly often. His clothes were rags, dirty and smelly, barely covering his tiny body.
He lifted his hands, moving his fingers in front of his eyes. Dirty, with broken fingernails, calluses, and scars. Also, small and thin, the bones jutting out.
Hmm. That didn’t really look like the hands he had torn himself open with.
Once more, he blinked with confusion, then laid his head into his neck to look up at the sky. Fluffy white clouds over the bright blue, hurting his eyes. Laughter sounding everywhere, people shouting about their wares. The sound of numerous steps, leisurely walking away. All drifting to him from the main street just steps away.
Now then, why did this place feel so familiar?