The Gloomy Saintess Obsessively Clings to Death

I closed my eyes and concentrated.

I sharpened my senses to the point of detecting even what cannot be seen or heard.

There is a common omen for a world on the brink of destruction.

‘It is chaos that arises, gradually consuming the world.’

From my experience as Mr. Death, having witnessed numerous worlds collapse, the signs are clearly revealed when a world starts to crumble.

The earth cracks,

Structures twist uncontrollably,

and living beings become grotesquely deformed.

Everything that changes due to chaos vanishes as if it never existed in the first place.

Rather, it becomes one with the chaos.

That growing chaos eventually consumes the world entirely.

But no matter how much I heightened my senses, I couldn’t detect any chaos.

Instead, the area was filled with yin energy.

‘…What could this be?’

While yin energy can negatively affect the world,

it does not possess the power to directly cause its collapse like chaos does.

Of course, yin energy can corrupt souls into evil spirits, which is horrifying to us, beings like Mr. Death, but…

Fortunately, it seems the yin energy is confined to a certain area.

Meaning, this world appears unstable but oddly resilient.

That strange contradiction caused my brow to furrow naturally.

‘Perhaps my senses have dulled.’

I’m confident in my detection abilities, but I cannot be certain right now.

There’s a possibility that my senses aren’t as sharp as usual in this world.

‘The best course of action is to ask someone who has lived here for a long time.’

I turned my gaze to the Saint.

And then carefully opened my mouth.

“Saint, is there any issue with this world?”

At my question, the Saint’s eyes trembled violently.

For a moment, her face turned paler than the surrounding snow.

As if someone who doesn’t wish to reveal a hidden secret.

The Saint muttered nervously.

“…How do you know.”

My suspicions were correct.

There was definitely an issue with this world.

And it was serious enough to make the Saint tremble all over.

‘There can be no problem in a world that defies the laws of the universe…’

I was about to ask the Saint again,

But before I could utter a word, the Saint grabbed me with a trembling hand.

“It’s because of me.”

“…What?”

The Saint weakly collapsed to her knees.

Soon after, she bowed her head deeply to the ground.

I was baffled and hurriedly tried to lift her up,

but she didn’t budge.

“Saint!”

“I cursed, that’s why. Please, just kill me quickly!”

The Saint clutched onto my pants.

…Wait, haven’t I encountered this situation before?

‘Could this be what they call déjà vu?’

The sudden situation momentarily made me blank out, but I quickly snapped back to reality.

‘…No, I’ve already been through this!’

A foreboding feeling swept over me based on two experiences.

I hastily put my hands behind my back, fearing she might offer me a weapon again.

“Please… just kill me. I want to die. I need to die.”

I sighed and looked down at the Saint.

Her image with her head bowed down seemed pitiful.

I reluctantly retrieved my hidden hands and gently patted the Saint on her back.

“Saint, I clearly stated before, correct? One shouldn’t speak of death lightly. Life is precious and valuable, and should be cherished highly.”

However, the Saint weakly shook her head.

“No, you’re wrong. Absolutely.”

Her faint muttering sounded utterly hollow.

Clear tears streamed down her cheeks.

” …My life, such a thing is not valuable at all.”

Her delicate shoulders trembled pitifully.

The tears falling to the ground formed countless droplets.

“I need to disappear from this world as soon as possible.”

“Saint.”

“If I disappear, if I die, everyone will be happy…. I must not live…”

“Stop saying such nonsense!”

My shout echoed throughout the corridor.

For a brief moment, the haze in the Saint’s eyes cleared up.

I felt I couldn’t afford to miss that slight focus.

I hastily grabbed the Saint by the shoulders.

“I understand. I know best the kind of person you’re talking about!”

“…How could you?”

The Saint’s voice still seemed empty, but it was different from before.

A faint hint of doubt could be detected.

That doubt felt like she might collapse if I didn’t address it.

So, with my eyes still closed, I carefully spoke out.

“I can’t help but know.”

“Why?”

“…Because…”

I didn’t want to say it.

I didn’t want to dig up those memories.

But…

I bit my lips tightly and slowly began.

“…Because I’ve always been extinguishing such people. Leaving not a trace behind.”

As the words left my mouth, a cold air pierced deep into my lungs.

It felt like my frozen senses were painfully awakening.

An involuntary bitter smile came to my face.

That’s right.

That was what I used to do before I took on my current role as a Mr. Death.

“To violate the laws of the universe,

And threaten its order—such heretics, I would annihilate them.”

It was the fate engraved in me from the moment I opened my eyes as Mr. Death.

For the sole purpose of preserving the order of the universe.

Abandoning emotions and thoughts without hesitation.

I was a being created solely to endlessly repeat battles for the sake of maintaining order.

And that was me.

Though I was demoted for being somewhat unsuitable,

The instinct I once had for pursuing heretics still remained vividly within me.

There was no way I could overlook someone who “needed to disappear from the world.”

From the moment I detected them,

I instinctively prepared to annihilate such people.

I slightly bowed my head and smiled grimly.

Then I slowly removed my hand from the Saint’s shoulders and spoke.

“If you were truly someone like that, I would have taken aim at you the moment I saw you.

And I wouldn’t hesitate to erase you.”

“Ah…”

The Saint’s lips slightly trembled.

The emotions that had briefly flickered in her eyes were neither fear nor relief.

For a moment, a part of me felt heavy upon seeing her reaction.

I raised my head and quietly added,

“So please, don’t say such things. You are not that kind of person. I, as Mr. Death, can guarantee that…Therefore, do not hate yourself.”

The Saint neither affirmed nor denied it.

She only continued to cry ceaselessly.

This time, I did not disturb her anymore.

Rather, I felt I should not tamper with her anymore.

To be honest, I lacked the courage.

Because I feared realizing that the Saint might be afraid of me.

That thought weighed heavily on my heart.

I stood silently by her side.

It was all I could do at the moment.

I kept my distance and watched over her like I would someone waiting to die.

As the familiar quietness seeped into my mind, the Saint firmly grabbed my hand.

“Saint?”

I instinctively recoiled in shock.

But the trembling I felt from her fingertips made me pause.

The Saint looked up at me.

In her restless eyes,

There was an unwavering steadfastness that strangely didn’t waver.

The Saint asked with a voice that seemed ready to break at any moment.

“…Will you look, then?

At my sin?”

“Sin?”

I reflexively echoed.

The Saint exhaled softly and slowly nodded.

It felt like a ritual in which she confessed her sins to judge herself.

But that was not my responsibility.

I had no authority to pass judgment or bear the weight of her sins.

I firmly stated,

“I’m sorry, but I am not God who can judge sins.”

“No. It’s not about judgment. Just… can you… after seeing my sins…”

The Saint continued, suppressing her sobs.

“…tell me if I am worth living?”

“Saint…”

“…Please.”

I could sense her desire to cling to hope amidst a deep despair.

‘Didn’t I preach about valuing life? Isn’t it my duty to help her believe in that?’

I took a deep breath briefly before calmly responding.

“Understood.”

“Thank you.”

The Saint didn’t let go of my hand as she urgently pulled me towards her.

We arrived at a large door at the end of the corridor.

“What is this place?”

“A place where my sins are fully contained.”

The Saint hesitated for a long time while gripping the doorknob.

I could see her trembling fingertips.

Then, as if she had made her decision, she turned her face toward me.

It was an expression mixed with sorrow, guilt, and an urgent sense of hope.

“Please come in.”

The Saint slowly opened the door.

And I realized…

…The unpleasant, familiar smell permeating the Saint’s body was that of decay.

The sight before me was gruesome.

Countless people, lying on densely packed beds, barely breathing.

Most of them were severely maimed.

Some were missing their limbs,

Others had parts of their heads torn away, exposing their brains,

Some had intestines protruding from their bodies, rotting.

They were relatively fortunate.

At least they maintained a human form in some way.

There were those crumbled into unrecognizable masses,

Others left with only their lower halves or just a portion of their upper bodies without heads.

The most terrifying fact was…

All of them were moving, as if alive.

Distorted flesh twitched strangely, and their chests heaved barely.

The horrific noise that filled the room was indistinguishable between breathing and moaning.

I covered my mouth and muttered,

“…What is this?”

“This is my sin.”

The Saint’s voice was calm,

But the tears streaming down her cheeks wouldn’t stop.

“Just as you see, I’ve kept people from dying.”

“…”

“With this, am I still worthy to live?”

The Saint bowed her head,

almost as if she considered even asking such a question a sin.

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