The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

Observing something closely, I like.
It’s dozens of times better than just glancing at the quickly passing scenery.
The red maple leaves, bursting with the essence of autumn.
Each leaf we pass by without a thought may hold a deep history that we can never fully understand.
Isn’t it interesting?
“Do you like it?”
“Yeah! The color is just like Elli Unnie’s eyes; it’s so pretty!!”
“….If that’s the case, then I like it too.”
Clack, clack, inside the fast-moving carriage.
I was lying with my head resting on Elli Unnie’s knee, looking at the small maple leaf in my hand.
The bumpy ride of the carriage couldn’t really be called comfortable, but none of us complained about it.
Because this moment was too happy to complain about such things.

One glance at the maple leaf, one glance at Elli Unnie’s eyes.
The more I looked, the more they resembled each other.

So pretty, just… pretty.
“Oh? Elli Unnie, your face is getting redㅡ!!”
“….It’s just a misunderstanding.”
“Oh~? But I don’t think so~? Hehe.”
“…Really, you can’t be helped.”

Though Elli wore a hood to hide her appearance from others, when I lay my head on her knee and looked up, her red face was completely visible.
Her body a bit warmer than a moment ago.
Not wanting to tease her too much in case she got pouting, I decided to stop here.

A sudden move.
Elli and I abandoned the house we used to live in and moved to a new sanctuary.
I don’t know the reason, but… well, she must have her own thoughts.
I simply followed Elli’s opinion.

A sudden confession that started with “There’s something I’m hiding.”
Though she couldn’t tell me, with her passionate words asking me to believe her just one more time, I was so happy that I nodded vigorously.
How could I not believe her?
How could I not be happy?
She woke up from a long slumber and took her first steps as a human.
I wanted to see the end of her journey.
“Touch my head!”
“…I understand. If it hurts at any time, please let me know.”
“Hehe, okay!”

Swish, swish, I closed my eyes, enjoying her soft touch.
Her gestures focused entirely on making sure not to cause me even a slight pain or wound were just too cute.
Truly, after a long time, I slowly fell into sleep, savoring peace and happiness without any bits of worry.
“By the way, Unnie. What was the name of the village we’re heading to?”
“Oh, I forgot to mention.”
Considering Elli’s uniqueness, it’s a suitable forest adjacent to a village where people live but not somewhere people would purposely come.
It’s become our new home.
“—It’s Syria Village.”

The carriage soon arrived at its destination.
It was an endpoint, but also a starting point.
What new encounters await me?
I fell asleep with anticipation.
So very, deeply.

Many people jokingly say that if they could return to the distant past, they would use their ‘superior’ knowledge to succeed and live well better than anyone else.
Literature, engineering, learning, politics, entertainment.
They want to be praised among the people of the past and look down on everyone.
Though that’s just hypothetical, if possible, they say they could easily live like that.
Truly, how arrogant.
“What a world — it’s always like that.”
It’s just an escape from reality for people who barely get through each day.
Just like I did before.

People living in the present want to believe they are at least better than the people from the past.
I am not a talent meant for this kind of thing.
No one recognizes my abilities.
I’m a bit better than those around me.
Yeah.
Maybe just a bit smarter.
Unlike them, I know that the world is round, that objects with mass attract each other, and that light has both particle and wave properties.
Those who don’t even know such simple facts seem so pathetic.
Haha.

—And yet, we can’t even explain properly why the sky is blue.
“Ugh…”
Tap, tap, tap. I strike the bat in a uniform rhythm.
My arms are numb, and my squatting legs are shaking, but thinking about how each of these translates into money keeps me going.
With each beat of the bat, splash, the water flies.
“Ugh… Why is there so much laundry today… I’m dying, Rumié…”
“Well, instead of saying that, how about moving one more hand?”
“Yeah….”
Wah, mama is torturing me…
I said not to call me mama!
Yikes!?
Thwack.
“Ugh…”
In a book with similar content, the protagonist is attractive and charmed everyone, so why am I here doing this?
Holding my throbbing head, I recalled the silly mistakes that led to my current financial woes.

So, back in the days I don’t even clearly remember, I tried to combine all my knowledge to create the pinnacle of modern civilization, a pen.
I thought this was a hit!
How did I ever think about reviving the experience of disassembling a ballpoint pen in class to draw up a rough design and then requested parts from the blacksmith while gathering necessary materials?
Using my battered fingers to help with household chores, I poured out every bit of the money I saved.
To feel a small change in this stagnant life.
No.
Perhaps, it was a gamble to maintain my identity in this tedious life?

Well, it doesn’t matter what happened.
I did my best within my limits.
And of course, the conclusion was…
Yeah, it failed completely.
The ink was nothing like I thought, and the parts I requested from the blacksmith were pieces that wouldn’t even fit together.
Refining, forging, everything was incredibly different from modern techniques.
Technologies don’t just develop through one genius.
No, maybe I’m not even a genius.
Just a mediocre person following in the footsteps of a genius.
When flipped, ink poured out from the back of the pen, and it was too thick to hold and use— something I’d have thrown straight into the trash.
A prototype that couldn’t even be called it, just complete garbage.
Naturally, the funds I’d gathered to travel to the capital were all wasted.
Boom,
……Damn.
“Ahhhhh!!!”
“…Is it another episode?”
Thump, thump, thump, I swung the baton with all my fury. I heard someone clicking their tongue next to me, but I didn’t care; it was just a usual thing.
At this moment, I was a lone Don Quixote.
A knight battling the terrible monsters (the laundry).
“This is the enemy of my money!
This is also the enemy of my money!
Pow, pow, I swung the bat wildly, destroying the laundry, even though it’s not my place to do so.
With all my force, as I began to swing violently, the pile of laundry decreased at a rapid pace.

And of course, I made a mistake.

—Thwack!
With a sound unlike when hitting fabric, a clear tone rang out.
At that moment, I instinctively realized.
I messed up.
“AAAAH!!! My fingeraaaah!!!”
“……”
The baton I swung hard struck not the laundry but my poor hand, and I rolled on the ground, crying out in pain.
Mama… it hurts… help me…
….I’m really going crazy.
My friend Rumié watched my actions with a pitiful expression.
In her eyes, a barely concealed sense of disgust was on display.
“Ugh.”
No, she didn’t even try to hide it at all.
With a face that said, ‘How could a person like this be my friend?’, she looked at me.
With a piercing glare, as if observing a lazy bum who spends all day at home, she scorned me without a trace of sympathy or hesitation.
Staring down at me with pity and nothing of tenderness, Rumié slowly stood up, taking her own laundry with her.
“…I’ll head back first.”

And she abandoned me.
“Rumié!? R-Rumié!? Are you really leaving me!? Wait!!”
“Bye-bye, Han. Let’s not see each other again… no, let’s not meet forever. I had a good time.”
“Eh?!”
Thus, the only friend who had been friendly to me in this village, Rumié, coldly abandoned me and left.
My fingers were hurting and cold.
I wanted to chase after Rumié, but the laundry still left made it impossible for me to leave from this spot.

I finally understood why there were no washing machines in the Middle Ages.
You could just use a person, which made washing machines unnecessary.
Both take money to maintain, after all. Haha.
Hiiing…
I couldn’t help but cry at the harsh reality.
A tear dropped.
But since it fell onto my already-soaked and swollen white hand, it left no trace as it disappeared.

“…….”
Yeah.
Just like me.
Without any meaning.
And thus, I vanished.