The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

“─What kind of face do you have to crawl in here!! Get lost, get lost!!!”

“….I came to talk to Aris, Remi.”

“We have nothing to talk about!!”

The never-ending fight between Remi Akaia and Anna Akaia, happening day after day without tiring.

On top of that, recently even Saelli, whom they had trusted, started to openly disapprove of them.

Of course, it’s natural that they, having helped Alice, would confront the suspicious woman who was trying to forcefully take their younger sister, even if she was acting for reasons unknown.

A three-way standoff had formed.

“…….”

And Alice, who could only watch that scene right in front of her, had darker shadows cast on her face with each passing day.

Today was no different.

The loud shouting pervading the dorm room that was supposedly assigned to me.

In that place, where I was now confused if it was even my room, the three were once again engaging in a new war of nerves as if they were tired of nothing.

…This is my room, you know.

How selfish.

─Thud.

“─Alice, there you are.”

“….Ah, Sia Unnie.”

I opened the balcony door and approached Alice, who was quietly looking down the street.

Had she temporarily fled here from their fierce atmosphere?

Maybe they had let Alice out briefly because they didn’t want to show her the fighting between them.

As soon as Alice noticed my arrival, she greeted me with a small smile, but the anxiety and darkness in her trembling voice were impossible to hide.

With a child in this condition, what on earth were they doing?

I could only think of how pathetic they were.

They were the ones with a bad relationship, so why does innocent Alice have to suffer?

Those who claimed to have grown up were just fighting next to a child, and their frustrating dynamic made me sigh as I stood next to Alice, enjoying the view of the street together.

To be honest, the current situation was excruciatingly suffocating.

I felt like dropping everything and escaping somewhere, as their standoff was exhausting everyone.

Of course, even if I left, this reality wouldn’t change, but sometimes you just want to turn your eyes away from the reality given to you.

The line that “there is no paradise where you run away,” popped into my mind, but I quickly shook my head.

The reason we wanted to run away in the first place was that reality itself was a mess.

If there had been paradise in reality, we wouldn’t even think of escaping.

No matter how much I thought about it, their ruined relationship seemed impossible to resolve.

In that despair, I jokingly spoke to Alice.

“───Shall we run away somewhere together?”

That was a slip of the tongue.

After saying such a thing without much thought, I cursed my light lips.

I saw them merely as troublemakers, but for Alice, Saelli was the one who had saved her, despite being adrift with deep wounds and having lost her memories.

Remi Akaia and Anna Akaia were also Alice’s two big sisters who had been with her since childhood.

Suggesting to run away together, when I can’t even say I have a long history with them, was a bit rude.

If I wasn’t careful, it might come off as belittling them.

No. I can’t say that there was absolutely no such feeling either.

At this rate, it felt like I was a bad person suggesting Alice to stray away.

So, I turned my head toward Alice to apologize───

“Maybe we should.”

“──!”

I saw Alice, for the first time in my life, wearing a wry smile, as if she were mocking herself.

While staring into the void, she spoke weakly as if she would disappear at any moment.

That frailness made my heart crumble.

Coming to my senses, I found myself holding Alice’s only hand as I rushed out of the dormitory.

Because of this, I felt no worry at all about any punishment or disadvantages I would face.

I only thought about taking this child somewhere peaceful, away from here.

That day.

I, we.

Ran away.

To put it bluntly, I was caught not long after.

It was likely that our escape drama was destined since it faced the powers mobilized by Anna Akaia and Remi Akaia and Saelli’s unfair abilities.

Knowing this well, the reason I planned this escape drama was… well, I’m not quite sure.

─Swish.

“Haha. R-Remi… could you put down the knife──”

“──Shut up, Han Sia. Just because you treated Alice well doesn’t mean you can kidnap her! Do you think what you did can be forgiven?”

“…….Tsk.”

As the blade was harshly aimed at my neck, I quietly dropped the sword I was holding.

Beyond Remi, who was pointing the knife at me, I saw Alice struggling, trying to come closer, and Saelli tightly hugging her to prevent her from moving.

While I had the capability to fight, given that Alice was taken away, I had to think that the victory and defeat had already been decided.

They were the winners.

I was the loser.

Well, all I could feel was regret for getting caught.

“For old times’ sake, I’ll at least listen to your last words.”

“…Last words, that’s an amusing statement.”

“─Sister,───Sia Unnie!!!”

From a distance, I felt Alice calling my name.

Having said she’d listen to my last words, would she really save me if I asked her to?

Images of Remi Akaia swinging the knife toward me, thinking that what she said was enough, filled my mind, and I couldn’t help but smile faintly.

“……..”

I noticed Remi’s expression twist slightly at my smile.

“…What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Just. This will be my second time dying. Ah, but this would be the first time dying by a knife.”

“….Stop with the nonsense.”

Was she getting a bit angry?

Remi pressed the knife closer and closer to my neck.

With a swoosh, I felt hot droplets of blood forming at my neck from a light cut.

Alice, who was watching from afar, called out louder at the sight of me.

A month. That was the duration of my escape with Alice.

Contrary to my initial expectations that I would be caught in just a few days, maybe I had a talent for running away as I skillfully evaded their encirclement many times.

To be honest, it began as a careless prank in anger, but later on, I found it quite sincere.

That’s probably because I had seen that the relationship between Remi Akaia and Anna Akaia had not improved after several encounters from a distance.

I didn’t expect their relationship to get better in an instant, but it was still disappointing.

Well, in the end I got caught like this.

To be honest, from start to finish, this was entirely my own doing, so I didn’t have anything I wanted to say as my last words.

Still.

If there was anything I felt regret over──

“──I should have run away just a little better, maybe?”

“You…. Han Sia, seriously till the end!!!”

The anger-laden face of Remi, and in front of her, I slowly closed my eyes.

To be honest, it was a little scary to keep maintaining eye contact like this.

When I experienced death before, everything in the world felt sorrowful and unjust and was just painful.

But the end of this life, curiously, felt acceptable.

Though it was a short time, I had been honest with myself during that period.

To say there was no reluctance would be a lie, but honestly, there were no regrets at all.

Even if I returned to the past or if an end was already determined, I would probably act the same and meet the same end.

Whether it was for money, academics, parental expectations, or my relationships with friends.

In my past life, I was too scared to break the invisible ‘something’ that bound me, so I could only live by deceiving myself.

Deceiving and deceiving, until I ended up deceiving even myself.

Looking back, I realized they were nothing.

Putting everything into what one truly desires, striving for what one truly wants, enduring any hardship, and enjoying that whole process.

With that belief, I acted.

And I lived a life with no regrets.

Yeah.

I, at least, didn’t run away from myself until the very end.

Now, the blade is about to fall toward my neck.

Or I might be captured and thrown into prison, or perhaps become a slave or something similar.

Honestly, meeting my end due to an impulsively taken action was not a pleasant conclusion, but I hope that those guys would pay a little more attention to Alice.

I kept my eyes closed, waiting for the verdict that would fall upon me──

─Crash!

“───Sia Unnie!!”

“……!?”

But before that.

A small figure slipped between me and Remi.

When I opened my startled eyes, I saw Alice suddenly running and knocking Remi Akaia down.

With Remi Akaia’s shocked eyes wide open in disbelief, Alice ran straight to me, grabbed one of my hands, and took off running.

Amidst the shouts of those saying something in the background, the rhythmic sounds of our feet echoed through the forest.

“…….”

After glancing back for a moment, I saw Saelli, smiling wryly, watching our backs as we ran away.

…It seems like my escape drama isn’t quite over yet.

Well, if that’s the case, I’ll just do it again.

Even if I get caught again, I won’t stop.

“Let’s go! Sia Unnie!”

“….Okay! This time, let’s go to the ocean, Alice!”

Just for the boring reason that I wanted to.

*

“No matter how much you run away, you cannot escape from yourself.”

Thus, perhaps escape is merely a short break to reflect on oneself.

Han Sia’s route.
Running away (悼亡): Missing a deceased wife.

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