The Gate of Shadows

Layla wasted little time answering the door, revealing Liam, Ezra, Owen, and a girl I had seen only once before, Kira. Fenris watched in disbelief when they waltzed in with sleeping bags in hand, ready for a sleepover slumber party for more than just a day.

“What the fuck are you guys doing here?” My wolf questioned, eyes twitching.

"I invited them over to stay with us! That way, it’ll be a party!" Layla announced happily, shaking her hips and tail.

Fenris stared at her, brows raised, eyes scrunched up. "And for how long?"

Ezra threw his arm around him. "Until the lockdown’s over! We have nothing to do but bond, and Owen brought the good booze! It’ll give us, Lycans, a good buzz!"

Fenris took his arm off himself, huffing. "I don’t think this is good right now." He glanced towards me.

From the look of his eyes, I could tell he was worried about how I’d react to others in the room. I felt like a fish out of water, but seeing his friends again filled me with joy; remembering the old times warmed me unsuspectedly. In response to my wolf’s worries, I smiled at him, triggering him to sigh.

For his sake, I’d bear anything, though he probably wanted me to say something against it. Our little encounter in the bathroom wasn’t enough.

"No, it’ll be perfect!" Kira announced, grabbing onto Liam, who slightly shrugged her off him.

He appeared as uncomfortable as Fenris when Layla was all over him. Kira was an identical clone to Layla, personality-wise, perhaps with some different quirks, like she was more vocal and confronting. They were sisters, too, sharing that fabulous winter white hair.

When her sister noticed me in the bed, she smiled to greet me, but it wasn’t friendly. Her gesture sent shivers down my spine, alerting me that I wasn’t wanted there, even though this was my room. After fixing their things, Layla and Fenris argued again over where he would sleep.

He wasn’t budging on sleeping with her instead of me. Especially now that there were more bodies to keep away from me. Drunken Lycans were the same idiots as humans or any race, even if it was more difficult for them to get intoxicated.

The sleeping arrangements finished with Kira and Layla sleeping on Fenris's bed while the boys used the sleeping bags they brought on the surrounding floor. Fenris would sleep with me until they all left, even though Layla wasn’t happy.

After they had settled everything, the wolves spoke about the moon festival that was coming up.

Most of it was gossip.

They didn’t let outsiders like me know much about what happened on it, so the details were vague, like what they would wear or do during it. Most of the day, the girls gossiped with the boys about silly things.

Fenris stayed beside me on the bed, unwilling to leave me for a moment. There was no point in trying to rest with the loud chatter in the room, so I wrote about the erratic dream instead. Shade rested on my side, away from all the intruders, too.

Fenris's eyes followed my pen, reading what I wrote. I never intended to hide anything from him about the dream, but it was impossible to tell him about it with everyone surrounding us. It wasn’t the first time I did this; it was better than explaining my emotions through words.

Everyone else thought I was writing a spell I had learned, but Fenris knew I had never done that in my fake grimoire. I predominantly filled it with recounts of nightmares and drawings. It was a diary of sorts that I shared with him.

When I finished writing, my gaze shifted towards him, spotting a seemingly conflicted expression about what I had written. However, he tried to hide it since discussing it with everyone in the room was impossible.

Noticing how I had his full attention, I wrote to him something I had wanted to say for the longest time. They were simple words I had wanted to speak since he hauled me out of that alleyway into the sunlight.

My heart pounded loudly, writing the words he would never let me say.

I love y — Before I could finish the sentence, Fenris grabbed my hand, preventing me from completing it.

A hollowness formed in my chest, feeling my heart sink.

I… just…

Releasing a sigh, he grabbed my pencil, writing something next to my unfinished phrase.

Not ye—

"Man! Fenris, you’re marrying the best girl!" Ezra yelled from the other side of the room, startling both of us.

Letting go of the pencil, he glanced towards the wolves. "Hah... I guess.”

Layla smirked, covering her mouth with her hands.

"He doesn’t treat me like one, though!" she complained to the boys.

Oh... So, this is what she’s after. To peer pressure Fenris into doing her bidding.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about," My wolf growled.

In an assist, Kira glanced towards me, pointing my way. "You’re always putting your charge before everything! You don’t even take Layla out on dates or anything!"

Fenris shook his head, rolling his eyes. The sudden change in atmosphere caused the other boys to appear unwilling to join the conversation. If their lunch chat was anything to go by, they couldn’t care less if Fenris wasn’t paying attention to Layla.

If only she knew his friends wanted him to pay attention elsewhere before tying the knot, I’d imagine she’d blow her top.

"A charge is the most important thing to a Lycan. But you know that Layla, don’t you?" Liam defended Fenris, who appeared to relax upon hearing his friend.

The brown wolf was the only one of the three friends I saw constantly by his side. Part of me wondered if he knew everything about me or if he was like the rest, ignorant that I was a danger to everyone.

Liam came from Fenris's line of wolves despite not having the same coat color. However, like my wolf, he lost his parents that same day. Ezra and Owen lost family members that day but weren’t as sharp as the brown wolf.

The way he avoided my gaze made me believe he knew more than what he let on.

"Yeah, see? It’s common sense." Fenris agreed with his friend, who smiled at him, wagging his tail.

"How about we speak about something else?!" Owen suggested, attempting to change the conversation.

Kira was displeased by that answer, continuing to push the idea that perhaps she had too much booze. "Still, putting a witch over your fiancée is wrong."

It rubbed me the wrong way.

A witch, is that all I am? Of course, it’s all I will ever be for you, wolves.

Shade climbed up to my shoulder, feeling the tug of my emotions. I closed the book and got up from my bed.

First Ryker, then Layla, and now this girl, Kira…

They were all judging me, prompting me to feel hollow inside.

Even my kind can’t stand me. I don’t belong anywhere in this world.

Slowly, I was tired of their scorn for me, especially after what happened to Lilith's family in my dream.

If that dream is true… It’s all your fault the gate was opened in the first place.

I had to leave the space for fresh air before losing control.

But before that… I’m done with being nice.

Fenris appeared to be about to say something to her when I stepped in.

"I’m sorry I was born. Is that what you want from me?" I scowled, feeling something new.

This wasn’t the usual annoyance I would feel when something went wrong. No, this was different, yet it caught everyone off guard. Typically, I would be submissive and let anyone say as they pleased.

But the entire event with the other, Lilith, shook me to my core.

Why must the cycle of hate continue even now? I don’t understand…