The Fox Hole

Chapter 56: The Illuminati are here!

– Fortuna (The Lady of the Hats) –

The path had changed…

Okay, that was an understatement.

Now, it barely looked like a path at all—more like a convoluted maze of possibilities that twisted out in every direction. A puzzle with an infinite number of solutions to a problem that had once seemed hopeless. She tried to figure out if that made her relieved or irritated. Did it mean that everything she'd done was for nothing…? All because some powerful interdimensional being thought it would be hilarious to drop a random restaurant into one of the worst cape cities? 

A restaurant full of beings that could all give Scion a run for his money?

Not even her path could give a definite answer. Because it obviously didn't know what happened next either. She sighed quietly. 

So this was what it felt like to think for herself? It was annoying.

"Are you listening to me, Contessa?" Alexandria's voice cut through her thoughts.

Fortuna blinked. "Yes…?" she replied. No, she had not been listening...

Alexandria's eyes narrowed, a hint of disapproval tightening the corners of her mouth. "Just remember why we're here in the first place."

Fortuna tipped her fedora and tilted her head. "To get some good food? Glory Girl mentioned the chef here is supposed to be incredible."

"No!" Alexandria stamped her foot hard enough to crack the concrete beneath them. "We're here to ensure these extra-world visitors aren't a threat to us."

Fortuna shrugged and adjusted the brim of her hat. "Considering one of them soloed Leviathan, and another made the Simurgh flee all the way to Jupiter and stay there, I'd say if they wanted to threaten us… we'd be boned."

Alexandria shot her a glare as they stepped inside the restaurant. Her oldest friend never liked hearing about situations where they were clearly outmatched.

Fortuna walked into the restaurant with Alexandria close beside her, noticing the tension in her friend's posture. In contrast, Fortuna herself felt oddly calm. If her paths were truly destroyed—if she could no longer see the future—then she figured they might as well face whatever came next, even if it killed them.

The interior was surprisingly cozy. Polished wooden floors and walls gave the place a warm, rustic feel. Booths and tables looked inviting and large enough for all sorts of customers. Strangely, the restaurant felt far bigger on the inside than it had any right to be. Under normal circumstances, Fortuna would have assumed tinkertech, but after Glory Girl's testimony about "actual magic," she wasn't so sure anymore.

Her gaze flickered around, taking in the variety of patrons. Some were obviously not from her world—like the pair of blue-skinned women sitting in a corner booth, both wearing strange holographic devices on their wrists. Alexandria, less concerned about subtlety, openly stared at them.

"Are those... real aliens?" Alexandria whispered, trying to keep her voice low.

Fortuna shrugged, adjusting her fedora. She had been trying not to stare, but her partner seemed determined to soak in every detail. As far as Fortuna could tell, aside from the few that were blatantly not human, most of the patrons looked like ordinary people. Then again, appearances could be deceiving.

They continued onward, drawn to the man behind the counter—a man whose face had been plastered across PHO and every media outlet in their world for the past two weeks. That was what happened when someone appeared out of nowhere and not only beat Lung, but also took on the Leviathan. Of course, the whole world wanted answers from the so-called "fox man" named Haru. Until now, the Protectorate had forbidden anyone from approaching his place on the Boardwalk. They'd been hoping to figure out his motives first.

But Fortuna's path had failed to produce any solutions, and after two weeks of stalling—and enduring Glory Girl's very vocal complaints about losing access to her favorite eatery—Alexandria finally decided to come here herself. She dragged Fortuna (also known as Contessa or the bogeyman) along for the ride. With her ability to see the future shot to hell, Fortuna figured there was no point in hiding anymore.

As they approached the bar, Haru glanced up from the glass he was wiping, his fox-like ears twitching slightly. He flashed them a welcoming smile, the kind that suggested he wasn't even a little bothered by two of the Protectorate's most high-profile capes strolling into his domain.

Fortuna and Alexandria slid onto the barstools, neither entirely sure what to expect. 

Haru leaned casually against the counter, flashing them both a welcoming grin. "I'm always happy to meet real-life superheroes. That was every boy's dream growing up, right?" He let out a light chuckle before pausing, his fox-like ears flicking slightly. "Uh… you two are heroes, right? Not villains?"

Alexandria folded her arms, her tone dry. "Yes, we're heroes," she confirmed. "We came here to talk with you about something important."

Fortuna sighed. Sometimes her friend could be too straight-laced. She tipped her fedora up, giving Haru a faint smile. "Could we get some menus?"

Alexandria sent her a sharp glare, like she was trying to remind her of their mission. "We're not here to eat."

Fortuna merely shrugged. "Of course we are. It's a restaurant, isn't it? Besides, Glory Girl said the food here is amazing. I want to see if she's right."

Haru grinned at her, his voice taking on a playful note. "I'm always glad when my customers recommend the place to their friends."

"More like acquaintances," Alexandria grumbled.

"More like her secret shadowy government bosses," Fortuna added, unable to resist.

Alexandria coughed at that before she shot Fortuna the stink eye…

Fortuna giggled. What? It wasn't like anyone ever believed her when she said that!

Haru just chuckled. He handed them each a menu, still smiling. Fortuna flipped it open and instinctively reached out for her power—her path that always pointed her in the 'right' direction. It felt automatic, like muscle memory after all these years.

Then she paused. Wow, she thought. Am I really so lazy that I'd let my power choose my meal? A small wave of embarrassment washed over her, and she decided to shut that reflex down. Instead, she let the menu pages flutter randomly under her fingertips, stabbing one at random.

"I'll have the chicken and waffles," she announced, glancing over the item she'd landed on.

Alexandria lifted an eyebrow but, after a moment's hesitation, let out a resigned sigh. "I guess I'll have the same," she muttered.

– Haru –

I watched them devour their meals with an intensity I'd rarely seen from customers before. The woman in the visor—Alexandria, right?—had come in looking ready for a fight, but the second she tasted my chicken and waffles, her shoulders seemed to relax. Well, a little. She still shot me a few sour looks, though it was hard to confirm with most of her face obscured by that visor.

Her companion was easier to read. A sharp fedora perched on her head, and the way she grinned when I complimented it told me she didn't mind a bit of attention. She ate with more restraint but still enjoyed each bite, which was kind of satisfying to see.

Once they both polished off their plates, the tension in the air thickened again. It felt like we were moving onto something serious. Sure enough, Alexandria set down her fork, wiped her mouth, and leveled a steady gaze at me.

"So," she began, her voice low and firm, "are you here to take over Brockton Bay—and by extension, the world?"

I blinked. My tails stiffened behind me, and I nearly choked on my own saliva. "What the hell?!" I managed to say with a cough. "That makes me sound like some kind of cartoon supervillain!" I looked between the two of them, trying to gauge if this was some sort of joke. But neither of them cracked a smile, and now I was the one feeling self-conscious. 

I didn't think I'd done anything to give people that kind of impression. Yeah, I had a rough start with Armsmaster—maybe we got off on the wrong foot—but we cooled down afterward. Everything was fine. Then, for whatever reason, he and Glory Girl stopped showing up. I hadn't really questioned it until now.

My eyes flicked to the woman in the fedora. Wait, was she serious earlier when she hinted at being some shadowy government boss? Like an Illuminati type? I'd always assumed that was just a myth.

My curiosity finally got the better of me. "So… are you, like, the Illuminati or something?" I asked bluntly.

Alexandria sputtered at me, and the fedora-wearer actually giggled. She tipped her hat at me, introducing herself properly as "Contessa," then explained, "We prefer to call ourselves Cauldron…"

…

That was… quite the story they laid out for me. Apparently, these two women and a couple of others had spent decades trying to keep their world from being destroyed. Judging by the gaps in their tale, it was obvious they were holding back a lot of details—like all the sticky stuff they didn't want me to know. And yet, neither of them felt truly evil. Just… tired.

I set some fresh tea on the counter for both of them, hoping it'd take the edge off. Then we got around to the real reason they'd come here. They seemed relieved when I assured them I had zero interest in taking over their world—I just wanted to run my restaurant in peace. Hell, I already had more territory than I knew what to do with across multiple other worlds. The last thing I needed was another chunk of land dumped on me.

That was when Contessa and Alexandria got blunt. They asked if I'd kill the Endbringers for them—and some guy named Scion too.

I nearly laughed in surprise. Sure, I probably could, but so could other people I knew. In fact, I suggested they talk to someone else. They seemed confused, so I started explaining that Gabriel had a serious grudge against the Simurgh.

"Hate boner?" Alexandria repeated.

"Gabriel?" Contessa asked, tilting her head curiously.

Before I could answer, a gentle voice chimed in from the barstool next to them. "Did someone call me?"

In a sudden flash of light, a woman appeared—one often said to be the most gorgeous person in the entire world. She had the kind of face and body that made any healthy man need a minute to collect himself and adjust his pants.

I tried to hide my flustered reaction with an awkward smile. "Hello, Gabriel. What're you doing here…?"

She returned my smile, but hers was more warm and serene. "You spoke my name, Haru," she said softly. "It sounded like a prayer, and that you needed me for something so I decided to pop in!"

Huh? 

I definitely wasn't praying… But I had a sneaking suspicion this was just the Goddess messing around again. When in doubt, I blamed that tsundere deity for everything… until she finally decided to show herself and prove me wrong.

Contessa and Alexandria, for their part, seemed utterly captivated by Gabriel's sudden appearance. Their eyes were drawn to the pair of shimmering wings unfurling behind her back.

"Are you…" Alexandria began, her voice uncharacteristically hesitant. "Are you actually Gabriel? Like a literal archangel?"

Gabriel tilted her head, offering a gentle smile. "I'm called many things, but Gabriel is the name I'm most known by in this millennia…" She let the sentence hang, as if amused by the question.

Contessa swallowed hard, clearly trying to make sense of what she was seeing. "Haru said you have a 'hate boner' for the Simurgh?" she asked.

Gabriel shot me a pouty look. Clearly, she wasn't thrilled with my choice of words.

"Sorry..." I bowed my head in apology. I hadn't expected her to pop up out of nowhere two seconds after I said it!

As if on cue, a small note drifted into view, but I waved my hand and incinerated it before it landed on the counter. Yeah, I knew exactly who was responsible for that little stunt!

The three women—Gabriel, Alexandria, and Contessa—all shrugged in unison at my action. Then Alexandria cleared her throat and asked, "Would you consider killing the Simurgh, then? The world would be beyond grateful."

Gabriel pouted. "I tried, but that fake angel hid itself in Jupiter's giant storm. Even with my senses, it's impossible to pinpoint her exact location—unless I start blasting randomly at the entire planet."

Both heroes went visibly pale. "Please don't do that," Contessa said hastily. "She'll come back eventually anyway. The Simurgh always does, once she's got a plan."

Gabriel nodded, lips curving into a sly grin. "Then I'll wait and smite her when she shows her face again." She paused, gaze suddenly intense as she studied both capes. "I see your souls are stained with sin. Redemption isn't impossible, but it's far from easy. Work for it, or you'll burn." Then she vanished in a swirl of golden light!

Alexandria stared at the empty space she'd left behind. "Did a literal archangel just threaten us with hell?"

Contessa fiddled with her fedora. "That sure seemed like it. I didn't even know hell was real…" she whined.

They both turned to me, but I just shrugged. "Don't ask me. I've never been. I've been to the Underworld, but that's not exactly the same thing..."

Once Gabriel vanished as suddenly as she'd appeared, I turned back to face Contessa and Alexandria. Both looked a little stunned. Not that I blamed them—Angels had a way of leaving people at a loss for words.

Clearing my throat, I tried to refocus. "So, we were talking about giant monsters... right?"

Contessa nodded. "Yeah. We'd appreciate your help with Leviathan. And if possible, the Behemoth."

I rubbed the back of my neck, thinking back to what Glory Girl had mentioned. "From what I've heard, Behemoth's basically a walking radiation machine. Getting too close is a ticket to a slow, nasty death. Or at least super cancer."

Alexandria grimaced at that. "That's... not inaccurate."

Honestly, I could probably handle it with enough prep time—some wards here, a few layered enchantments there. But why risk it if I knew a bunch of undead who wouldn't give two craps about radiation exposure?

Well, maybe 'a bunch' was an overstatement. I did know a handful. And I was fairly sure Agnar had an undead dragon stashed somewhere, so maybe we could go full kaiju battle.

I got a little lost in my own imagination, picturing a colossal showdown between undead forces and a giant nuclear lizard. My ears twitched when I noticed both women staring at me like I'd started drooling. Oh wait... I was drooling wasn't I? I was imagining what Endbringer tasted like after Baku had been so incredibly delicious...

"Sorry, spaced out," I admitted, letting out a small laugh. "Anyway, I'm down to help you guys out—on one condition. You Illuminati stop blocking my customers from getting in here."

"Deal." Contessa smiled, like she'd been half-expecting me to say that. 

Alexandria didn't look quite so enthusiastic, but she nodded. "...We're not the Illuminati... Were Cauldron," she grumbled.

The Illuminati—okay, Cauldron, but I wasn't giving up that nickname—took their leave soon after. Before they walked out, they mentioned they also wanted me to kill some 'golden hero' called Scion.

I raised my hands in an immediate nope gesture. "Look, the Endbringers have murdered millions, so I'll happily help you deal with them. But this Scion guy? As far as I know, he hasn't done anything remotely on that level. You're saying he might go evil in the future and wipe out mankind, so I should kill him now?" I shook my head, ears flicking in annoyance. "Yeah, well, there's also a chance I'll accidentally make spaghetti with ketchup instead of real tomato sauce one day. Both are equally terrifying futures in my opinion, but neither has actually happened…"

"One of those things was not like the other…" Contessa pouted.

"They were to me," I smirked.

Contessa and Alexandria exchanged a glance that told me they really didn't like my answer. Still, they seemed content enough with at least having the Endbringers on my future 'to-do list.'

"And to be clear," I added, "I can't just sprint out and handle them right this second. I've got a lot on my plate." I paused, giving them a wry grin. "And for once, I'm not talking about cooking."

Surprisingly, neither woman argued.

"The next Endbringer attack isn't for a few months anyway," Alexandria said, sounding resigned. "You have time…"

With that, they slipped out the door.

Once they were gone, Alice slid onto a stool in front of me as soon as the two women walked out. She rested her elbows on the counter, giving me a knowing grin.

"I didn't think the Illuminati was real… oh wait, yes, I did. They kind of ruined my own world," Alice said dryly.

I chuckled at her dark humor. It was good to see her moving past her trauma, at least in her own way. And judging by how casually she joined the conversation, she'd been eavesdropping the entire time. Not that I was surprised. My friends—and most of my customers, really—were nosy like that.

Probably half the restaurant had been listening in.

"So," I leaned against the counter, smirking, "who do you think would be better for dealing with the walking radiation hazard? Ainz, or Agnar's undead dragon?"

Alice grinned, eyes glinting with amusement. "The dragon, of course! I know Rias would love to see another giant kaiju battle."

I laughed. "That's what I thought too."

She tilted her head slightly, watching me with curiosity. "I heard you're gonna be pretty busy the next few days."

I let out a small sigh and rolled my shoulders. "Yeah… I've got another meeting with the Fairy Tail mages in the morning with Yasaka. Then later in the afternoon, I'm heading to Winterfell to help Sansa and Catelyn secure their rule. Apparently, I need to present myself to the nobility as their 'kind consort' or something." My tails swayed a little, betraying my nerves.

And after that, of course, would come the war. 

Well, more of a war for Ainz, and more of a battle for me and Carne Village, considering the ridiculous difference in numbers. Still, I hoped everything would work out.

Alice reached across the counter, taking my hand in hers. Her grip was warm, reassuring. "Everything's going to be okay, Haru," she said softly. "You're amazing."

I couldn't help but smile at her fondly. "You're just saying that so I don't stress."

She shrugged, and then started smirking. "Maybe. But that doesn't make it any less true." Alice grinned at me. "And since you're going to be busy with a sexy mother-daughter duo tomorrow, I wanted us to go on a date later, just the two of us. There's a new movie I wanted to see."

I couldn't help but tease her a bit. "Is it a zombie movie?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "No…"

I stared at her.

"...Okay, yes it is..."

XXX

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Here is the list of Current Advanced Chapters:

The Fallen Gamer ch 320-324

The Fox Hole 61

The Titan 28

The Fox Hole 60

Thunder and Black Wings 11

The Blood Queen 36

The Fox Hole 59

The Titan 27

The Fox Hole 58

The Blood Queen 35

The Fox Hole 57

Thunder and Black Wings 10