The Fine Food Broadcaster

The entire forum was shooketh!

The moment Drama King revealed Ye Fei’s official rank within the QQ Platform, it was as though someone had thrown an atomic bomb into the group, causing an explosion and debris flying into the sky.

“F*ck me, Drama King! You’re f*cking with us, right?”

“Right? Right? A Bronze Star Rank 2 Broadcaster suppressed you? Are you kidding us?”

“Drama King, your joke is not funny at all. I know that this is a crazy world filled with crazy people, but… A Bronze Star Rank 2 Broadcaster suppressing a Silver Star Rank 1? You can beat me to death, but I still won’t believe it, ah.”

“Those two ranks are separated by several ranks, ah. A Bronze Star Rank 1 Broadcaster only has 20,000 fans at most. As a Silver Star Rank 1 Broadcaster, your number of followers should have reached 200,000 at least. The difference in the number of fans is at least 180,000, ah. How could he even dream of counterattacking, let alone suppress you with his inferior numbers?”

“Heavens, ah. If what Drama King say is true, this is a m*therf*cking classic situation where the few overwhelmed the many, this is even more incredible than the [2] Battle of the Chibi, ah!”

“No way, why do I get the feeling like I’m in the middle of a dream? Drama King, just what kind of deity is this Bronze Star Rank 2 Broadcaster? Is he born in the year of the rooster? He must be pumped full of chicken blood.”

Drama King studied the frenzied reactions of the crowd. He had already expected this reaction. That’s because back when he was done with his broadcast, his reaction was even more severe. It could be said that he was stunned silly.

However, he did not delay his answer. Drama King typed two words out, “Ye Fei.”

“Ye Fei? Who’s this Ye Fei fellow?”

“Never heard of him. If he’s a fairly good Bronze Star deity, he should be somewhat famous, ah. However, I had never heard of him before.”

“Neither did I. If they are similar to our Song & Dance rising stars, such as Celebrate Peace w/ Song & Dance, Natural Voice or King of Pop, I’d know. If any of our new stars had upset Drama King’s results, I might be inclined to believe it. However, just who is this Ye Fei? I really have no idea.”

“Drama King, did our Song & Dance Section come up with another Rookie Deity?”

“Surely it won’t necessarily be from Song & Dance Section? It’s possible they are from Storytelling.”

“That’s right, ah. Only these two sections have the likelihood of producing rookies who could overturn the higher-level deities, ah. I know it can’t be from Outdoor Sports. Aside from Little Beckham, the others aren’t even worth watching.”

“Same goes for our Fitness Section. We only have Little India to support us now.”

“Yi? Both are Silver Star Rank 1 deities too. I heard they both broadcasted yesterday. They did not come online today?”

“Haven’t heard from them. Master Little Beckam is always wandering around the wilderness. He could be stuck inside a mountain without a signal. As for Little India, she might have gone back to India.”

“So, which section did that guy come from?”

“I think the likelihood of him being from S & D or Storytelling is higher.”

“Drama King should know best. Drama King, could you tell us?”

Drama King leaned back in his chair, he rubbed his face for a moment and let out a long sigh before typing out the message: Fine Food Section.

“… …”

“Pfffftttt~~~”

“F*ck me.”

“What the f*ck is going on? Drama King, did you just send the wrong message?”

“Your sis, ah, Drama King. You’ve overdone your jokes, ah. Fine Food Section’s Silver Star Ranker Unstoppable Gastronaut is also here, ah.”

“A little deity from a low-level section actually K.O.ed a well-known deity from a powerful section?”

“That’s right, ah. Moreover, it’s a Bronze Star Rank 2 guy that killed off the Silver Star Rank 1 guy,”

“Your mom, I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed today. How can this happen?”

The entire Silver Ranker Forum nearly boiled over. From their point of view, such a powerful broadcaster could only come from either Song & Dance or Storytelling Section. Even if they think until their brains collapsed, they would not have thought of the Fine Food Section.

“Drama King, you dare swear to God and Heaven that you have spoken the truth?”

Drama King pulled a bitter smile, “I swear to God and Heaven.”

Having received this straightforward oath, nobody knew what to say. For Drama King to solemnly swear like this… your mom, it must be the real thing.

“It’s too unbelievable. A Fine Food Bronze Star guy actually killed off a Storytelling Silver Star guy, surely this is too fantastic to be real?”

“Heheh, I really don’t know what to feel, ah. Just what the heck is going on?”

“That Ye Fei fellow can’t be simple. I think most of his support must be fakes. Or, he must be some kind of monster and [3] ate a whole elephant or something.”

“Could it be that this guy has some good followers and attracted a few local tyrant fans?”

“That’s possible too. That’s right, Drama King, how long has this guy been broadcasting anyway? Does he have a lot of rich fans?”

Drama King gave another bitter smile. Right now, his face was so bitter that it looked more like a crying face.

“He registered with the platform 3 days ago. Before this, he had no fanbase. He did not eat much either. I have watched all [1] 3 broadcasts, he only ate one normal size dish per broadcast.”

Everyone, “… …”

“F*ck me, ah. Just 3 days ago? Isn’t he basically a noob?!”

“No, no, no, hold up. I’m a bit confused. Let’s start from the beginning. Drama King, you say that this guy just registered 3 days ago, so why is he a Bronze Star Rank 2 Broadcaster? There’s something wrong with this logic, ah.”

“Yi~~? You’re right, ah. I might have missed this bit if you haven’t mentioned it. Drama King, just what is going on, ah?”

Drama King really wanted to cry now. He sent up a message that said, “This fellow, ah… he’s a per-vert, ah. If you must know, this guy achieved over 20,000 yuan on his very first broadcast. Let’s not talk about fanbase, he’s a complete noob without a single fan, ah. His first sweep of reward completely decimated a bunch of veteran Iron Star Broadcasters, you know?”

“Ssstt~~ so fierce?”

“Aiya, you call this fierce? Silver Tongue, my friend, what I have given you is just the appetizer.”

“Speak.”

“Drama King, we are all hanging on your words, tell us quickly.”

“I’m already on the edge of my seats, ah.”

Drama King sorted out his thoughts and, [1] using his storytelling skills for building suspense, said, “On his first day of broadcast, this bastard achieved over HX¥23,000. Though this amount was quite high, it was not unheard of. However, what was more shocking was the next broadcast which happened on the second day. My dear friends, this fellow actually collected over HX¥230,000 on the second day, ah. This guy’s collection for his 2nd broadcast was 10 times higher than his first broadcast. This kind of reward is usually associated with Bronze Star rankers only.”

“My heavens, ah. Is this true?”

“Over 20k for the first broadcast, but over 200k for the second broadcast? A 10 times growth rate? Drama King, have you been shocked silly? How can this be possible? No such person has ever appeared on our platform before. As for those great deities who stood at the zenith of their career now, I don’t believe any of them had ever been this crazy back then, ah.”

“That’s right, ah. This m*therf*cker cannot be described as crazy. This is closer to berserker mode, ah.”

“10 times growth, I can only stand here and laugh. I really can’t find the words to describe my mood anymore. If I am forced to describe the situation, I can only say ‘Bleep the dog [4]’.”

“Me too.”

“Bleep the dog +1”

“Bleep the dog +2”

… …

While this group of fellows were bleeping dogs, Drama King sent up a line that said, “Everyone, everything I said is the absolute truth, ah. After his second broadcast, this fellow jumped from an insignificant Iron Star Rank 1 newbie to a Bronze Star Rank 2 Broadcaster. A 7 rank leap, ah. My mom, ah, I nearly fell to the ground when I found out.”

“7 ranks!”

“This… this…”

“A 7 rank leap after a mere 2 hour live broadcast?”

“Oh, my God in heaven, ah. Is he still human?”

“M*therf*cker, I’m already on the floor.”

“Can this person not be so fierce, ah?”

Drama King, “Everyone, because of this, many of our large and small records within the platform have been destroyed by this guy. It is truly terrible, ah.”

“That’s for sure, this kind of record is just too crazy.”

“Breaking records would be nothing for him.”

“Even so, there’s no reason why he should have crushed your record, ah. Drama King,”

“That’s right, ah. You have close to 200,000 fans. He should only have less than 100,000.”

“Don’t tell me he went berserk again?”

Drama King sent up a tearful emoji and said, “Today, he went beyond berserker mode, ah. He was rampaging like a wild bull and no one could stop him. The situation was too hopeless, ah.”

“So, what was his reward today?”

“Don’t tell me it’s 500,000, or I’ll spit up blood.”

“Me too, a Bronze Star Rank 2 Broadcaster with half a million rewards? He might as well have ascended to heaven, ah.”

Drama King, “Half a million? Heh, hehe.”

“Wait, Drama King, don’t tell me… he really made half a million?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, that’s impossible.”

“My highest record to date is only half a million yuan and I have been a Silver Star Rank 2 Broadcaster for a long time.”

“Just how much was it? Half a million for real?”

Drama King, “Everyone, you are too naïve. If it’s just half a mil, I would not be suffering like this. It is more than 1.38 million, ah. Over 1.38 million!!!”

“What?”

“F*ck!”

“God!”

“That’s insane!”

“He’s insane!”

“A Bronze Star Rank 2 becoming a Million Yuan Broadcaster in one shot?!”

“This… there’s something wrong with this script, ah…”

“My heart, ah. It nearly leapt out of my chest. What legendary story am I hearing?” 

“Ye Fei…”

“M*therf*cker!!!!”

Everyone nearly collapsed. A mere Bronze Star Rank 2 Broadcaster suddenly barrelling into the Million Yuan Broadcaster category with just one broadcast? It was just too incredible.

While everyone was reeling back from this shocking information, Drama King continued, “Everyone, there is another thing I’m not sure whether to say to you or not. You might go crazy if I tell you about it.”

“Speak.”

“What is it now?”

“Is he going to bomb us with more terrifying news?”

“Aiyo, my liver, ah; my heart, ah; my guts, ah; my kidneys, ah. They are all hurting to death now.”

[Gumihou: Technically, this chapter could be considered ‘repetitive’ since they mostly reiterate things we already know. However, it’s still hilarious because the people who made the remarks all have their own little individual quips. So much better than reading the incredibly tedious repeats from some other novels.]

[1] Some small adjustments

[2] Battle of the Chibi, also known as the Battle of the Red Cliffs

Speaking of which ‘赤壁’ or chìbì means ‘red cliffs’ not… the super deformed mini anime/manga characters.

Cao Cao has 800,000 soldiers while General Zhou Yu only has around 230,000 soldiers. Cao Cao lost, which prevented him from uniting China.

This battle happened during the ‘Three Kingdoms’ period of China.

https://www.ducksters.com/history/china/battle_of_red_cliffs.php

[3] The text actually said ‘ate like an elephant’ but the impact is rather limited, and the wording awkward, so…

[4] 哔了狗了or quite literally ‘Bleep the Dog’

The closest equivalent is probably ‘what the f*ck’ to indicate shock or great disbelief over some unfortunate or unlucky situation.

However, Gumi finds ‘Bleep the dog’ more interesting, lol

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