The Fine Food Broadcaster

Gumi: …I have no idea what’s the purpose of this chapter…

After Ma Cuihua got into the car and switched her stilettoes for cloth shoes, she started up the car and slowly eased it into the main road.

Ye Fei sat in the front passenger seat. Now and then, he would turn to look at Ma Cuihua. Each time he looked, he felt the same jolt of amazement: Sure enough, the saying that people rely on clothes as horses rely on saddles is quite true, ah. Even though Ma Cuihua had not dressed up herself too much, just by switching into a red dress, her sensuality level went up a lot. Even after living here for a year, why had he never noticed this about her, ah?

Ma Cuihua was in the middle of driving, but she still noticed Ye Fei’s occasional gaze on her. After all, the guy was seated right next to her in a confined space.

Seeing that guy kept glancing over now and then, Ma Cuihua said, “Brat, what are you looking at? Don’t think that just because I’m wearing a short skirt you’re welcome to take another look, ah. If you look again, believe it or not, I’ll drive into a telephone pole?”

Ye Fei, “… …”

Ye Fei thought: What’s with your weird logic, ah? What does me looking or not looking has to do with you running into a telephone pole? There are two of us in the car, am I the only one who would suffer if you run into a telephone pole?

However, regardless of who would suffer, Ye Fei did not want her to run into a telephone pole. Therefore, he sat upright and kept his eyes fixed to the front. Like a perfectly obedient child.

Seeing Ye Fei’s good boy appearance, Ma Cuihua sneered contemptuously, “What a coward, just because auntie tells you not to look, you refused to look? Really, I’ve never seen anyone as cowardly as you.”

Ye Fei was close to crying. He turned to stare at Ma Cuihua, “Sister Ma, are you letting me look or not? If I look, you’ll crash into a telephone pole. If I don’t look, you insult me. Let me tell you, I, Ye Fei, am still a proper seven-foot tall man with blood running through his veins. If you keep insulting me like this, I, I…”

“You’ll what?” Ma Cuihua flashed a glance at him with her beautiful eyes. A smile curled the corner of her mouth.

Ye Fei opened his mouth, but after a long time, nothing came out.

In the end, he merely sighed and lowered his head.

Ma Cuihua harrumphed, “I knew you’re a coward. A lusty but gutless man. That tall figure is wasted on you.”

When Ye Fei heard this, fire whooshed inside his belly and he said, “Who are you calling lusty but gutless? Ma Cuihua, you had better say it straight.”

Even though Ye Fei had gotten angry, Ma Cuihua was not the slightest bit afraid, “This auntie is calling you lusty and gutless, well?”

Ye Fei stared at Ma Cuihua for a long time. Suddenly, while Ma Cuihua was still focused on the road, he reached out and grabbed the front of Ma Cuihua’s shirt. He pulled strongly, stretching out his neck to look and… [1] his gaze zeroed in on plump white flesh cradled in something black and lacy…

Ma Cuihua had not expected Ye Fei’s suddenly act of craziness. Not at all mentally prepared, she screamed, her hands jerked and the steering wheel veered along with the car, and the next thing they knew, the hundreds of thousands of yuan Silmarillion was hurtling towards a telephone pole.

[2] “The pole! The pole!”

Ye Fei, after putting his hands, [2] literally, onto his former landlady, screeched at the sight of a telephone pole suddenly shooting up in front. He screamed.

Luckily, Ma Cuihua’s reaction was quick. [2] Her foot stomped on the breaks and the car screeched into a stop just half a meter away from the pole. 

Once the car stopped, there was silence all around.

Ye Fei looked at the telephone pole, cold sweat pouring out of him as he thought of how they were barely half a meter away from totalling the car and probably their lives.

As for Ma Cuihua, her hands remained fixed on the steering wheel, her eyes staring vacantly forward for a long time.

Finally, she looked down. Her shirt was slightly crumpled due to that errant paw grabbing it just now. Wordlessly, she restarted the car and eased back onto the road.

It was terrifyingly quiet in the car as neither of them spoke.

Ye Fei slowly recovered from the shock. When he did, his mind was immediately flooded by thoughts of the previous scene just now. Yes, that fragrant scene.

White, really white, ah.

Big, really big, ah.

Ma Cuihua drove very seriously, for about 10 minutes. Suddenly, she burst out laughing and glanced over at Ye Fei, “Do they look nice?”

Ye Fei had no idea what Ma Cuihua was really talking about. However, he was not a complete idiot. He nodded and said in a small voice, “Yes, very nice.”

“Still want to look?”

“Want…” Ye Fei caught himself just in time. Ma Cuihua was giving him an odd look, ah. He shook his head quickly and said, “Don’t want, that is, Sister Ma, don’t be angry anymore, ah. You’re the one who let me look…”

Ma Cuihua laughed again, “I’m not angry, I just didn’t expect you to be so bold. This aunt is so shocked that I nearly ran into the telephone pole.”

“That, ah, Sister Ma. Even if I’m at fault this time, we should put safety first. Safety first, I won’t move an inch, you just keep your eyes on the road.”

Ma Cuihua said nothing, but the car went a bit faster as it continued to speed along the road.

A good half an hour later, the car came to the edge of Yinzhou City before swerving into a small road and entering a residential area called Yijing Garden.

Ma Cuihua appeared to be familiar with the road and the car finally stopped at the base of Building C. She slipped her stilettoes back on and said, “Get out,”

Ye Fei peered out of the car window. The residential area was very beautifully constructed with rockeries, flowing water, flowering hedges and lush evergreen trees. There was even a lawn of bright green grass with a few children running about, chasing each other like a scene out of a TV commercial.

As someone from the common stock, Ye Fei rarely had the opportunity to witness such a high-end residential area with his own two eyes. He could not help sighing, “It’s really beautiful, ah.”

Ma Cuihua had already opened her car door, “Enough with that, let’s go.”

Ye Fei got out of the car and found that Ma Cuihua was already striding towards Building C and he quickly followed after her.

She pressed the elevator button, a red clutch bag held in front of her.

Ye Fei stood next to Ma Cuihua. This fellow was still casting the occasional glance at her. The more he looked, the odder Ye Fei felt. He thought, “M*therf*cker, what’s happening to me? Has Ma Cuihua cast a spell on me or something? Why does it feel like, the more I look at her, the better she looks, ah?”

Ding dong ~

While Ye Fei was in the middle of his crisis of thoughts, the elevator arrived.

The two people entered the elevator, Ma Cuihua pressed the button for the 9th floor and the door closed.

The elevator swiftly and smoothly arrived on the 9th floor. After stepping out, Ma Cuihua took out a set of keys from her bag and headed for Room 905. She unlocked the door and held it open, “Come on in,”

“Oh,” Ye Fei answered and obediently entered the house after Ma Cuihua.

As soon as he got a good look at the room, Ye Fei was stunned.

That’s because this room was just too nice, ah. The decoration was incredibly majestic and overwhelming. Even so, there were bits and pieces of pink decorations, which gave the overall design a cuter and more girly feel.

There was a large floor-to-ceiling window in the living room which opened to a wide balcony where you can lean over and take in the beauty of the whole residential area.

The living room alone was about 70 to 80 square feet wide. The furniture inside, such as the sofa and tables was all new. There was also a huge 190 inch LCD TV hanging on the wall. Leaving everything else aside, this huge TV alone was enough to the owner plenty of face.

Ye Fei stood in place, taking in the sights and noting the 5 or 6 doors, possibly leading 5 or 6 rooms, which would qualify this as a luxury mansion [3], ah. For a normal family, being able to afford a 3-bedroom apartment with 1 living room is considered not bad. This 6-bedroom and 1-living room mansion was certainly over the top.

However, Ye Fei did not care about these details. What concerned him most was the size of the kitchen. As a future successful Culinary Broadcaster, the kitchen would be the location of his battlefield. For him, there was no point in having a luxurious living space if the kitchen was too small.

“Well? What do you think?” Seeing Ye Fei looking around, Ma Cuihua asked with a smile.

Ye Fei nodded, “It looks very nice, but where is the kitchen? I want to have a look at the kitchen. As you know, I rarely eat out so, making my own food is very important.”

Ma Cuishua’s lips curled, “What a fancy way to say you can’t afford to eat out, ah.”

“Sister Ma, there’s no point talking about certain things. Show me the kitchen.”

[Gumihou: … wut? Ma Cuihua, see, this kind of hot and cold attitude is the reason women are given a bad name for being dishonest. At this point, Gumi has no idea of the writer is a man, woman or dog, ah!]

[1] Make the movement more dynamic than a stretch and pull.

[2] The original term was ‘About to hit!’ which was not quite correct for a panicked English speaker. So, changed it. Also, rearranged some of Ye Fei’s thought processes for immediacy.

[3] Mansion – actually a condominium, but it’s a term often misused in Japan to sell luxury apartments. Other countries, such as China and Hong Kong also use this ostentatious term to describe their luxury condos.

‘Mansion’ in Shanghai

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wukang_Mansion