The Female Bullies Eat Me Up

Somehow, I ended up listening to the sister's life story...

To cut a long story short, it seems like she's had her fair share of shit to deal with.

After high school, she had to fend for herself, so she worked her ass off at cafes and factories, saving up every penny.

After about two years, she managed to save nearly 40 million won without spending a damn thing.

By her third year, she got a desk job at the factory and saved over 60 million won.

That's a fucking miracle when you think about how many people just piss their money away...

But then, on her 23rd birthday, she got royally fucked by a rental scam.

She lost every cent she had saved since she was a kid...

Her mental state was completely fucked at that point; she said she was beyond recovery.

She couldn't even function normally, so she started taking antidepressants and eventually quit her job.

If it had just been that, time might've healed her, but right at that time, her parents got sick.

And then the so-called friends she trusted stabbed her in the back, pushing her into a state of no return.

Since then, she couldn't handle a normal job or any gig.

Since then, it's been one long, messed-up ride. She tried learning tattooing and waxing to survive, but it didn't go well.

A person with no tattoos trying to be a tattoo artist? Yeah, right.

Waxing was just dealing with assholes until she couldn't take it anymore and her mental state broke again.

But recently, she started learning video editing, and that's how she ended up editing Juha's videos...

"..."

"...Sniff."

Tears welled up in her eyes.

I hesitated but handed her some tissues from the side.

"Thanks..." Her voice choked up. "Darn, life's been a real bitch, hasn't it?"

She said she couldn't stop having bad thoughts because she couldn't lead a normal 9 to 6 life.

"Maybe I should just work in a damn bar, or in the entertainment industry. Or maybe I should sell my body."

Then she heard about Onlyfans, filmed a solo masturbation video, uploaded it, and when she saw how much money it could make, she fell into self-loathing and stayed in her room, feeling like crap.

But then, while editing Juha's video, she felt a spark of life again.

Even though it was porn, editing felt like real work for the first time in a while.

She got paid, and it felt like her messed-up brain was coming back online.

She even started to get ideas for Onlyfans...

Filming with a guy would definitely make more money than solo stuff, and it would be better for her mental health than filming herself masturbating...

She had some vague fears about men, but seeing Juha in action made her think she might be okay with it. Like he's a human dildo, safe and all, right?

And she seemed more interested in filming Juha rather than herself. Seems like she's not ready to sell her face yet.

"...Sigh."

I'm not some idea bank, for fuck's sake.

Juha and now her, every time they see me, they get these porn ideas...

I paused to think.

I felt sorry for her. Really immensely sorry, but do I have an obligation to help her? It's her life after all...

But then, my dad's image flashed in my mind.

He wasn't always like that, you know.

At first, it was just his business not going well.

Just small issues like delayed payments from connected businesses.

He didn't start with gambling either.

It was when he had nowhere to vent his stress, and someone suggested a game.

He went, thinking it was just for a quick drink... That was the beginning of the end. He was never good at saying no.

Life is like that.

Once it starts to unravel, it just keeps unraveling.

Misfortune hits hardest, most dangerously, when you're at your lowest.

And weirdly, it comes in waves. After a couple of hits, you're down for the count. If you're not born with money, those two hits can fuck your life up completely.

Watching my dad crumble was shocking.

When a man can't prove his worth, he sinks lower and lower.

His self-esteem drops, his judgment gets clouded with fear.

Family relationships deteriorate rapidly.

A man crying to his family, his kids? Unthinkable.

He suffers in silence, which makes communication less, the atmosphere colder.

In that emptiness, alcohol calls.

And as he drinks, the trash of society latches on, tempting him to gamble.

He gets hooked on that brief escape from his problems.

Maybe...

That's what'll happen to her too.

If you can't prove your worth to your family, you're in for a living hell.

Since primitive times, family members were workers first, family second...

If you can't bring in money or food, you're discarded. There's no reason to drag you along.

She looks like she's at a very dangerous stage.

Just two steps away from falling into the abyss.

If she takes one or two more wrong steps, she'll fall into a place she can never return from.

She'll follow the same path as my dad.

Drown in alcohol, cloud her judgment.

With clouded judgment, the wrong people come sniffing around. And they'll drag her down to hell.

If she's lucky, some savior might appear, but...

Usually, when you're at your lowest, it's not angels but devils that show up.

Instead of a savior, you get con artists looking to exploit you.

She'll probably get sucked in.

She'll fall even deeper than the usual hell.

Selling her body won't even take a few years.

The scariest part is... selling your body doesn't even count as hitting rock bottom.

What I saw at the bottom... there's always a deeper bottom.

You think you're at rock bottom, but there's an underworld below.

When you fall into that underworld, thinking there's no lower, you find out there is.

One level, another level, deeper and deeper.

Just like the upper levels you've never seen, there's a world below, even lower.

Even when you think you can't fall any further, there's always a deeper fall.

After experiencing all kinds of falls, you die. Your head splits open. That's life.

A life worse than a whore...

I've seen that world with my own eyes.

She's not far from it... From where I stand, that's the feeling I get.

If no one helps her, she'll keep falling.

Even if she tries to climb up by herself, there are more people trying to pull her back down. That's this world.

It's not just the people who want to drag you down with them, but the real assholes are those who push you down just for their own amusement, to squeeze out the last bit of joy.

She was struggling.

Reaching out to me, asking to be saved.

Even reaching out to me, a fucking piece of shit.

How shitty must that feel?

To have to reach out to someone like me, who she wouldn't have even looked at before.

Maybe now she can't even feel how shitty it is. Her brain's fucked, probably only feeling desperation.

If I push her away now...

She's done for.

She'll fall, eyes wide open, into despair.

I hesitated.

Can I help her?

I'm not sure at all. I might even make things worse.

There might be better paths, but she might end up following my shitty path.

But you won't know until you try... That's why life's hard. You can't tell if it's the right path or not.

I don't know.

I took her hand.

Her cold, trembling hand gripped mine.

Will we fall together... or climb together... I can't tell.

Not until we reach the end...

...

"That... I'll contact you later, okay?"

"Take care. You need to be careful for a few days."

"Yes... Goodbye, sis."

"Uh."

The sister even came to see me off.

She hesitated, then pointed inside and said;

"Should I finish what I couldn't do earlier...?"

"No..."

You said to be careful for a few days from the start!

I don't know if you have the skill to handle things smoothly without friction...

It feels a bit funny to say, "Ahh, please, sister!" now.

"I'll be going."

"See you next time, Joon-hyung."

"Yes..."

I bowed deeply and turned back the way I came.

I glanced back, and she was still waving without going inside.

...I bowed again. Why does my heart ache?

"Sigh."

So, do I have to film Onlyfans with two people now?

I'm already dizzy thinking about it.

Once with Juha, once with the sister... What the hell am I supposed to film?

But she doesn't seem completely opposed to sex either.

If she can keep her face out of it, she might be prepared to go that far.

Well, having sex with one person might not be that big a deal.

Compared to selling your body, where you'd have to fuck dozens of strangers...

"Sigh."

What the hell is this?

I came for waxing, and now I'm leaving with something stuck on me.

Is that too harsh? Maybe I should think of it as a good thing since it's a pretty sister doing it.

"I don't fucking know..."

Just don't walk the path to hell.

At least this doesn't feel like the path to hell.

That's my standard... A life where you're broke and crawling on the ground is way worse...

Maybe this is also a way to help someone.

Saving someone with my dick... Who would've thought my dick would be doing such good work? ...Fuck.

'Inhale, exhale.'

...

I saw three thug girls smoking in the alley.

Squatting, eyes squinting, blowing out smoke with a "Ssshh-"

I turned away from their 'What are you looking at?' glare.

Those girls probably don't know their future either.

They probably think adulthood means freedom, fun, and success.

I used to think that too.

I vaguely hoped I'd have a slightly better life than my parents.

But now, after graduating...

All those thoughts are gone.

Just three months. After just three months of being an adult, I realized reality again. Even though I knew reality, I still had some 'maybe...' hope, but it was all for nothing.

There's no fairy-tale future.

Just the bone-chilling reality.

When I was in my first year of high school, I couldn't imagine being 20... Now I'm 20.

I'm 20, and I have nothing.

Adults never told me.

That at 20, you're just thrown into reality.

The sister probably didn't hear that either. Or if she did, it didn't click.

Why didn't they teach us this shit before we were 19?

It would've been more useful.

Of course, I experienced everything early because of my dad.

My hands trembled.

I thought about a cigarette even though I don't smoke.

It'll be okay. Everyone will be okay. I've already experienced it all... I can teach her.