The Eye Of Equality

HOW DO I TURN THIS STINKING THING ON?

Shouting in rage, I clench the phone in my hand.

CRUNCH!!!

...

Uh oh...

Frantically, I check if it's broken.

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[MaxPhone]

Item Rarity: Rare

Item Description: {An ingenious invention created in 1876 that has been constantly improved till this date. Very useful throughout your useful lives and are made up of some pretty precious materials though at this point no one really cares. Buying one will lead to less anxiety, more safety and popularity with your classmates. Why doesn't everyone get one?}

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Ehhhh...

That's a bit different from my usual Analysis...