Chapter Twenty-One: Panicked Return
I'm staring out the window, beads of rain rolling down it and streaking back from the speed of the Mother's vehicle as we head home. I'm not really watching anything occuring outside, too busy thinking.
There's no way Theory would show herself to Pop. I'd told her directly, as an order, not to. I trust her to stick to that command. No, what I'm worried about is Richter.
Resting my cheek on the base of the window, I watch the rain build up in small drops, growing larger as rain collects and then falling abruptly to the bottom of the glass, sliding away from the wind. It matches my present mood.
I have no idea what motivates that man. He expressed no fear at my perception cluster and displayed nothing except for a mild curiosity towards the fact that I have magic, and I am honestly almost terrified of it. Having discovered someone that uses magic means that they are likely from my original universe, and once he discovers that I was a dungeon, he will unavoidably attempt to take advantage of me.
Once again, I am less worried about what he might ask of me than the fact that he might blow my cover. For whatever reason, I am extraordinarily against the concept of the Mother discovering what I am. I believe it has something to do with how she treats me - namely, as though I am an intelligent child. She gives me the due respect I deserve, and yet also demands respect without breaching that trust. It's a complex situation, one she seems to handle with nigh-professional skill.
Raising my head, I ask tiredly, "Mother, why do you love me?"
It's a fair question in my opinion, but she laughs at it. "Oh, Jason. I love you because you're you. Why do you ask?"
I stare at my hands, messing with my thumbs. "Because I can't figure out why you'd give it."
She makes an 'awww' sound, then reaches back to ruffle my hair. "Jason, I'll always give you my love. You're my son - I'm going to love you whether you like it or not."
I can't stop thinking about it, frowning at my hands. If that's the case, then why am I so hesitant about informing her as to my true nature?
Should I tell her?
Opening my mouth, I'm interrupted by the Mother saying with a smile, "We're home!"
I close my mouth quietly. If there's no need to tell her then there is no need to tell her. A simple loop, but one that keeps me convinced that I should avoid telling her. And really, it's more safe not to, isn't it? For her as well as myself. If she never finds out, then there will never be any proof as to whether she continues to love me... or the other option.
Shaking my thoughts away, I unbuckle myself from the heightened chair I'm seated on and open the sliding door, gently hopping out and heading for the door. The Mother intercepts me and wraps me in a hug, setting her chin on my head. "Honey... did Dillon say something mean to you? When you were talking alone in his room?"
I smile widely. "No, that's all fine. I was just curious."
She holds me at a distance, her eyes narrowing as if to see if I'm lying, but then she smiles. "Okay. I believe you, honey. Just make sure you tell me if anyone ever says something mean to you."
Nodding in response, I fix my hair and go inside. Glancing into Pop's room, I'm relieved to see him sleeping, the remote hanging loosely from his hand. If he's asleep (and not dead, unfortunately), then it means that he has not yet bothered Theory.
Heading upstairs to my room, I creak the door open, moonbeams streaming in through the window to illuminate my room. Every single one of Theory's trapdoors is open, gaping holes covering every surface of my room.
Eyes widening, I carefully walk in and whisper, "Theory?"
I recieve no response.
An increasing sensation of dread builds up in my heart, and I expand my perception, allowing my mana to interact with my dungeon, familiar strands folding around mine and accepting it. A password of sorts, which lets me see around my room uninhibited. Even then, I cannot find my spider.
Clenching my fists, I close my eyes and let my ammassed mana detonate, flooding the entire house with my mana and dungeonifying the entirety of it in one go, ignoring the drained feeling that comes from it. I see Pop jump into wakefullness, nearly falling out of his chair in shock as I deliberately poke him, a minute spike of dull mana stabbing into his behind and making him yowl in pain.
Even with all of the temporary power, running high off of a full infusion of mana, I can't find her. So I dig deeper. Shoving my perception into every crack and crevice, every tunnel in the nonsensical web of roads that Theory had built, and I gasp from the effort. I haven't split my view like this since I was a dungeon.
It's there that I find a long tunnel stretching under the house, going at a steep slant away. There's a form digging at the end of it, and I force more of my perception into it.
It's Theory.
Opening my eyes, I lean back with a relieved sigh, nearly sticking my arm into one of her holes. Then I frown. Why is she digging down? Why all the opened holes?
Infusing her with my mana, I feel her stiffen, my control asserting itself over her. Making her come up to my room, I fold my arms and stare at her. "What are you doing?"
Theory's eyes flick away from me, nervously staring at the wall, and I blink in surprise, unfolding my arms. "What is it?"
Lying down flat, she makes a faint hiss, almost a sigh of frustration. It's an incredibly expressive action coming from a spider, and an utterly unexpected one from one of my minions. A thought occurs to me, and my forehead scrunches as I think. "Wait..." I say slowly. "Did you... want me to think you were gone?"
She shrinks a bit, and doesn't make a sound. I nearly reel from the shock. "Why!?" Theory flinches from the sound and makes a weak wiggling motion with her mandibles, and I lean close to her, staring at her intensely. "Why on earth would you want me to think you were gone? Do you know how worried I'd be? How sad I'd be?"
Theory slumps entirely, her legs splaying out, one lying in one of her holes, and then makes a depressed hiss. Strangely enough, it filters into my mind and leaves a distinct impression. Not a translation, but a pretty close comparison. It's so unexpected that I almost miss what she's trying to say. "You - you didn't think I'd want you? Why?"
Once again, she makes the faintest of hisses, and my brain processes it into a more precise definition. I really need to figure out how it works, but it takes a distant backseat to the present disaster. I frown, trying to make sense of it. It's an almost emotional sensation, but Theory can't possibly have advanced to that level yet, right?
At any rate, it takes a second for the message to sink in. "What do you mean, traces of other - oh."
My shoulders slump as I realize the issue. "Theory," I tell her tentatively, "Are you worried that I'd get rid of you... because you found traces of another spider that lived here before you?" She gives a slow nod, sadly hanging her head, and I sigh deeply. This wasn't a conversation I'd ever wanted to have.
Breathing deeply, I start, "Theory, there was a spider that I had before you. Her name was..." I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly dry. "Her name was Thesis. She was a pretty good spider. One of the best, actually." Theory wiggles a little closer, staring up at me, and I continue. "But Pop got rid of her. I don't think she's ever... ever coming back."
Theory puts a leg on my calf, and I carefully rub her head. "Thank you, Theory, but I've already grieved." Picking her up in both hands, I raise her to my face. "Theory, I can't imagine what would happen if you left. Are you absolutely sure you want to go?"
Staring at the ground, she shakes her head, and I smile. "Good. Because the dungeon really needs a boss monster, and you are the only option."
She makes a near-silent hissing noise, and I chuckle in response.
"Yes. You are indeed the very best boss monster."