The Demon Sparrow

1 year later

Lu Yan hung on the precipice between sleep and wakefulness.

Bright red light shone into her eyes. Somewhere in the distance, someone was screaming, but the voice whorled and warped around her. She couldn't understand a word.

The world was filled with chaos, but her heart was full of joy.

Harsh knocking on the wooden door startled Lu Yan into wakefulness.

She opened her eyes to a dimly lit room. The feeling of joy disappeared with the dream, fading even as Lu Yan tried to grasp at it.

"Are you awake yet?"

Lu Yan recognized the voice. It was one of her mother's maid.

Lu Yan turned over, and closed her eyes, trying to remember the dream.

The knocking came again, even louder this time.

Her mother's maid called out impatiently, "It's Miss Lu An's big day. The mistress has ordered that you remain here. Don't go out today, and don't disturb the guests."

Lu Yan frowned and sat up slowly.

It had been almost a year since she returned to the Lu ancestral house. During this time, she had understood one thing: her parents had deliberately left her behind when they had gone to the border. Most likely, they were aware of her treatment at Second Aunt's hands, but they didn't care. Ever since she had returned home, she had been ignored. Totally and completely set aside.

Today was her cousin Lu An's coming of age ceremony.

The whole Lu ancestral home had been bustling for days now.

Outside, her personal maid Luizhu finally emerged from the side room and began talking to her mother's maid.

Lu Yan thought of something, before smiling ironically, "They want me to hide away."

She flicked her long black hair off her shoulder, as she stood up. Her eyes were filled with a wicked light.

"Unfortunately, no one can get all they desire."

---

When Luizhu entered the room, Lu Yan was already seated at the vanity, dressed in her best clothes.

Luizhu stared at her in surprise, and asked uncertainly, "Miss...?"

Lu Yan gestured, "Help me do my hair. And bring out all the jewelry I have."

"The first madam-" Luizhu began.

"My mother is ashamed of me," Lu Yan said matter-of-factly, "But I can't remain hidden all my life."

She didn't mention the panic and hopelessness that overcame her every time she thought of being trapped. On a good day, it was enough to drown Lu Yan. On a bad day, she had moments of blankness where she had no control of her body, and just watched herself scream and smash everything around her.

Lu Yan really didn't like the thought of being hidden away and forgotten.

"But, if madam sees you, she'll-"

Lu Yan waved a hand carelessly, "I'll wait until the guests arrive before going out. She might be displeased, but she won't make a scene in front of everyone."

Luizhu was not convinced, "What about after the ceremony ends?"

"Father will intervene. In case he doesn't, I'll be punished to kneel in the ancestral hall for a few hours."

Luizhu frowned, and even Lu Yan's bravado melted a bit. They both knew being locked in the ancestral hall brought out strong reactions in Lu Yan.

"Miss-"

Lu Yan met her eyes in the mirror, and said firmly, "It's just a few hours. I can handle it. Besides, this is a chance to let the families of the capital know that the Lu family has a second daughter. Who knows, I might be able to escape this hell hole."

Luizhu pursued her lips, saying nothing else.

In fact, Lu Yan's thirteenth birthday had just passed, but no one in the Lu household had mentioned it.

Luizhu laid out the jewelry boxes. It was a pitiful collection. Two old chipped wooden boxes that had been given to Lu Yan at birth.

Inside were stocky gold ornaments. Lu Yan looked at them in disgust before closing the lids without selecting anything.

"I'll put some flowers in my hair." She turned to Luizhu and commanded, "Go get some that match this dress."

Lu Yan went outside while she waited for Luizhu to return.

Even in her secluded courtyard, the bustle of the ceremony could be heard. Absent-mindedly, Lu Yan listened to the sounds.

She was listening for the voice inside her head.

Lu Yan didn't know what it was, but over the past months, she was growing increasingly alarmed because it seemed there someone else inside her mind.

Lu Yan's parents and two older brothers had returned from the border soon after Lu Yan had left the Ji family camp, and returned to the Lu ancestral home.

The happy reunion Lu Yan had imagined had never happened. In fact, she was stunned by her mother's coldness and aversion to her presence.

Everything had become worse. She was trapped in a small courtyard all day long. She desperately missed the Ji family camp.

Master had kept his word. Even though he was at the border with most of the Ji family camp, he still had Afei bring her all kinds of medical scrolls and little assignments in information gathering.

Memorizing, reading, and solving problems- these were the only things that kept Lu Yan falling into a dark despair.

But still, these days, the voice inside her head was growing increasingly clear. It was terrifying. Lu Yan was sure there was something wrong with her.

The voice sounded like a faint echo in a large cave. Lu Yan named it Echo, and this turned out to be a horrible move.

Because after being named, Echo grew stronger, and Lu Yan could understand what the voice was saying.

Actually, given how lonely Lu Yan was, it wouldn't have been so bad to have a voice in her head.

But the thing was, Echo was unpleasant, always screaming, raving, fearing anything that moved. Most of all, Echo seemed to be seeped in despair. Despair so thick that sometimes it reached over and covered Lu Yan too.

Still, in moments such as these, where Lu Yan was waiting, planning to do something that would anger her parents, Lu Yan couldn't help but look for Echo. 

Echo finally stirred in her mind, and said, 'It's a good idea to go. Don't you let any of them forget about you girl.'

Lu Yan couldn't help rolling her eyes at Echo's tone. She said flatly, 'Alright grandmother.'

Echo went back to sleep, or whatever she did when she wasn't with Lu Yan. Lu Yan wasn't too clear on the details.

Lu Yan went back inside, feeling a bit unsettled, and a bit reassured, and examined herself in the copper mirror again.

The dress was a light pink. Luizhu had done her hair as skillfully as she was able: a section pinned up into a delicate bun, the rest hanging down freely. Lu Yan imagined the flower in her little bun. It wasn't gold or silver or jade, but she still felt she would look beautiful.

In the bustle, it seemed her breakfast had been forgotten.

Lu Yan's stomach rumbled. She quickly drank a large bowl of water.

A sound was heard outside, and Luizhu arrived with an excited exclamation, "I found the perfect flowers. Look! Aren't these beautiful? And they go so well with your dress."

Luizhu had brought a cluster of small flowers. Each little flower had pink petals- the exact shade as her dress. Towards the root, the petals turned white, and then a gentle orange.

Lu Yan brought the little cluster up to her nose, but the flowers had no discernible scent. The petals were soft though, and as Luizhu had noticed, they'd go well with her dress.

Lu Yan sat before the mirror, and gestured towards her hair.

Luizhu stood behind her, and carefully pinned the flowers in to Lu Yan's little bun, with their little faces facing ahead.

Lu Yan looked at herself in satisfaction.

Slowly, she stood, and said, "It's late morning. The guests should already have started arriving."