The Chick Class Hunter is Being Filial

Creak, creak, creak.

A toddler’s tricycle rolled into the dark dungeon.
Pedaling with enthusiasm, an oversized, ugly teddy bear appeared. It was part of the ‘Half-Made Bear’ series, a recent trend among kids.
With gleaming eyes and droopy eyebrows, the misshapen teddy bear creaked as it turned its head.

Soon after, a distorted mechanical voice came from inside the bear.
C-rank Hunter Jang Yeonwoo. You appear to be in a crisis.
 
Shit. I’m not hallucinating because I’m about to die, am I?

Jang Yeonwoo, still lying on the dungeon floor, lazily rolled his eyes to stare at the teddy bear.
He knew exactly what this thing was.
It had been 10 years since the emergence of Awakened individuals alongside the System.

The number of Awakened had steadily increased, and it was now an era where the insane, gimmick-crazy individuals were rampant.
The attention seekers of attention seekers.
Some trolls, who were mages, wanted to engage in close combat, while others embraced their gimmicks, earning respect as useful concept-driven figures. This teddy bear was one of those.

Among hunters, it was known as "Fake Saw."
The nickname came from the resemblance to the Saw movie's villain, Jigsaw, who sends his puppet to deliver his messages. Similarly, Fake Saw used the ugly teddy bear to infiltrate dungeons and sell his self-made items directly to customers.
Despite its bizarre concept, it had gained a reputation among hunters for its low prices and surprisingly high-quality items that matched the madness.

Not getting a response from Jang Yeonwoo, Fake Saw tilted the teddy bear’s head.
Already dead?
 
"Is this funny to you? Huh?!"

Jang Yeonwoo, now getting angry, cursed while still lying down.
The truth was, he really was in a crisis.
It was a D-rank dungeon, and he thought he could handle it alone. That was his mistake.
The boss monster was easy to defeat, but the poison was the real problem.

As the boss made its last stand, it released poison into his wound. Now, even though he cleared the dungeon, he was paralyzed, unable to move and waiting to be found by the Bureau.
And that’s when Fake Saw showed up.
Regardless of the circumstances, the bear, confirming that Jang Yeonwoo was still alive, recited its usual sales pitch.

C-rank Hunter Jang Yeonwoo. Will you choose death, or will you purchase the one and only elixir to restore vitality to your weary life?
 
As soon as the spiel ended, the teddy bear’s soft paw unzipped its belly. It rummaged through its cotton stuffing and pulled out two syrup bottles, the kind kids might drink.
Instant Antidote.
 

"……!"
An Instant Antidote could only be made by hunters of B-rank or higher.
Just as the rumors said—its skill matched its madness. How is this even possible?

For a hunter—especially one in a life-or-death situation due to poison—this was a miracle performance!
There was no way he could resist opening his wallet.
"How much...?"

Clenching his teeth, Jang Yeonwoo asked, and Fake Saw immediately responded.
Bitter-Spit flavor is 1,189,900 won. Sweet Strawberry Syrup flavor is 1,999,900 won. These are special first-time customer discount prices.
 
Jang Yeonwoo's face contorted at the ridiculous price difference.

"What’s the difference?"
The teddy bear tilted its head, as if to say, How could you not know?
The droopy eyebrows made Jang Yeonwoo even angrier.

Bitter-Spit is bitter, and Sweet Strawberry Syrup is sweet.
 
Jang Yeonwoo briefly thought about how much of a failure his life felt.
No, wait—still, it’s cheaper than other options.

If he were to rely on the Bureau, it would certainly cost far more than these prices.
"Give me your account number!"
Payment can only be made via Onion Pay.
 

Onion Pay was a currency used in Onion Market, an anonymous marketplace for second-hand goods.
Because of its tax-free nature, it was often used for underground transactions, and tax evasion or criminal activities were common.
"If I report you for tax evasion—"

If you don’t want it, I’ll leave.
 
The tricycle began to turn.
"Fine! Alright!! Give me the bitter one!"

Good choice.
 
Fake Saw handed over a contract. He opened the pen cap with his mouth, spat it out, and signed the paper with the pen in his mouth.
After receiving the signed contract, Fake Saw stuffed it into his belly.

By the way, if you leave a five-star photo review on Onion Market, you’ll receive a Muscle Candy that increases your Strength stat by 1 for five minutes. Good luck.
 
With that, the toddler tricycle turned and began heading back toward the dungeon exit.
Creak, creak, creak.

 
****
HunterNet Anonymous Forum

[Title: Fake Saw’s Latest Updates.jpg]

Business is booming.

Bought the Bitter-Spit flavor.
[Comments]
Bitter-Spit flavor LMAO 🤣
What the hell is Bitter-Spit flavor?
? It’s very bitter.
So bitter, LOL.
What rank do you think Fake Saw is?
Probably at least B-rank. His crafting skills are insane.
B-rank? That’s insane.
If he’s B-rank, even after taxes, he’s a damn genius. Could he be unregistered?
Who knows. Judging by his gimmick, it seems like he’s completely lost it.
What even is this?
It’s an Instant Antidote.
 

How much?
Bitter-Spit got a 5% discount, so it’s about 1.1 million won.
He’s selling it for less than a million? I’m going to get poisoned just to meet the legendary God Saw.

Nope, you won’t meet him~~
Eh, just die and respawn~~~
Get the strawberry one. That’s way too bitter.

Where’s the Awakened Crimes Investigation Squad? Shouldn’t they be cracking down on illegal transactions?
The King Awakened Crime God Squad officers are too busy drinking away taxpayer money to do their jobs.
Do you think Fake Saw is a woman?

Please, please let it be a woman. Please, please, please.
So what if it is? What are you going to do about it?
Fake Saw’s true identity is a scruffy, hairy old man.

Judging by his level of madness, I’m guessing he’s a 30-year-old, forever-alone, internet-addicted loser.
Honestly, I’m curious as hell. What kind of person does this?
 

 
****
[Review Section]

- HunterEunjaeMom: Our guild members love it~~~^^ Thumbs up! Five stars for you~~~
When EunjaeMom pressed the “like” button on the Onion Market review, a popup appeared showing that Onion Pay points had been credited.
[50 OP credited!]

"Not bad. That’s adding up."
Hanguru, checking his Onion Pay balance, smiled in satisfaction.
Just then—

“Guru, didn’t your teacher say you shouldn’t use your phone during class?”
The teacher of the Chick Class looked down at Hanguru.
“I did it…”

Guru quickly stuffed his kids' phone into his small character bag. He’d send out the Muscle Candy reward later.
“Alright, everyone, look here. Let’s sing along again~ Together~”
The kids started singing in unison.

Guru sat up straight and sang along.
His favorite song—the Fancy Tomato Song.
🎵 "I wanna be ketchup~ I wanna dance around~ Fancy Tomato~" 🎵

No matter how many people speculated about Fake Saw’s identity, no one ever found out.
And there was a simple reason for that.
The mad genius craftsman hunter, Fake Saw…

…was a four-year-old kindergarten student.
Hanguru, age 4, attending Saebom Kindergarten’s Chick Class, was an S-rank crafter.