The Butterfly Effect

It wasn’t even a fading dream anymore; this was actual reality. She felt the heat from the blankets on top of her and she pulled the clasp closer. “Come on, that can’t be it… please…” She wasn’t ready to face the real world. There was still so much she wanted to do.

“Envi? You’re still here..?”

“Mind your own business and go away, Witless.”

“That’s kinda hard to do when you’ve got the door open.” It sounded like he clumsily moved through her mess of a room. “Why haven’t you left yet?”

She shrunk under the covers even if he couldn’t see her. She stayed silent.

“I bet Imre’s getting worried,” Lewis tried.

“He’s got more important things to do than pay attention to where I am,” Lydia grumbled back.

That didn’t deter him, lifting the blankets up so light slipped through. “Tavin’s probably waiting for you. Turning three’s a big thing—it doesn’t sound like it’s anything fancy but I’m sure he’ll want his mother there.”

She turned away from the light. “You say that like I really did anything.”

“Of course you did! You’re his mother.”

“And the only fucking reason he’s alive is because of Minne, not anything I could’ve done!”

“Lydia…”

“Everyone else moved on. I thought that I could, too. I wanted to be useful, do something to prove that it wasn’t going to happen again… and I nearly made everything worse.”

He pulled the blankets further away to make it impossible for her to try to hide. “I didn’t know that bothered you.”

“It didn’t, at first,” she mumbled. “Then I realized, three years… three years that he’s only alive because of what Minne could do and the sacrifice she made for him. We wouldn’t have realized anything if it weren’t for her. Not only was I stupid enough to make the offer, but I didn’t even know…”

Then Lewis noticed the clasp. “Is that what you’re in here for?”

“I just need a little longer,” was her half-answer. “You know what it’s like, don’t you? After… Naviya lost hers. I’m able to be with them with this, like none of it happened… All I need is one adventure—a little more time…”

She heard him move through her room again and close the door when he left. She kept holding the clasp and praying until she could no longer feel it; when reality warped back into fantasy and the words she spoke moments prior felt like the tailend of a dream.

It was both equally better and worse as she slipped out of bed and went to see what everyone else was doing. The boys were arguing over something, but for reasons now escaping her mind, she was happy to have boys that could argue with each other.

“Saint-King Lucas killed the old king on the thirteenth,” Tim stated confidently.

“But they didn’t start purging the old noble houses until three days after,” Henry pointed out. “It’s not a rebirth until there’s nothing left of the original.”

“The rebirth is considered the day Saint-King Lucas was actually crowned,” Tavin remarked, “which was the fifteenth.”

“Was he ever actually crowned, though?”

“I think you’re forgetting which one has his spirit. Besides, there’s still plenty of northern noble families that are still around; it still wouldn’t be a rebirth by those standards, even today.”

Lydia got down the stairs and at the entrance of the room to see Diana walk through, ending it all with her simple comment of, “And that, boys, is why it’s celebrated on Oshye’s Comet and not the date the ‘rebirth’ took place.”

After being mildly impressed in the lack of a harsh tone, Lydia stepped in to bring back the excitement. “Who’s ready for a family trip to Pagetri?”

The twins and several of Elena’s kids burst into cheers; Tavin and a couple others joined in with a bit less enthusiasm, while a few more reluctantly grumbled along. Most of them went on to ramble about what they did the last time they went and what they would do now.

She hardly noticed when Lewis walked up to her. “Are you sure the four of you want to come? It takes time away from your adventure, doesn’t it?”

“It’s not going to hurt anything,” Lydia replied with a shrug. “We don’t know where we’re going anyway. A little time with family might be the exact thing we need in order to figure out the next clue.”

“I guess my next question is, do you really want to come?”

How quickly she responded spoke more for her answer than her words did. She smirked and playfully punched his shoulder. “Of course I do! Why would I turn down some quality sibling bonding time?”

“Because at least two of the biggest assholes you know of live there,” he returned. “It’s pretty obvious when you’ve found excuses to stay here every year.”

“Okay, you got me,” she sighed, glancing at the kids. They were all still talking, ignoring whatever Elena and Lustris might have been telling them. “But it’s fine! Raisul’s probably still going to be here counting his money. Even if we see him there, he’s not interested in me and since we’re not in the castle I can punch him if he tries to flirt with anybody.”

“And that other guy I won’t name?”

“I don’t know if he even lives there anymore—he changed every other part of his life. I haven’t seen or heard anything about him whenever I went to Tobiah territory on my own.” She shrugged to pretend like it didn’t matter. “He hasn’t tried waltzing in after this many years, I doubt he’s going to try now.”

“As long as you’re comfortable with that. I mean, I don’t think you can blame me for being suspicious—usually when you do something like this it’s to get something out of it.” He paused. “Dad hasn’t secretly offered you several bottles of vodka, has he?”

“No, but I may have heard Aunt Clare’s getting the good stuff for us adults. We’ve got, like, eleven kids to look after and that’s not counting the adult toddlers we have to deal with on a regular basis. We deserve some good old alcohol and time away from them.”

“Bold of you to assume Tim and Henry aren’t going to keep it from you.”

“They can try, but with Aunt Clare on my side, nothing’s keeping me from bringing a bottle of that stuff back.”

Lewis, distracted by a nearly-unnoticeable call from his wife, nodded goodbye to his sister before walking away.

Lydia hardly noticed when the kids had apparently stopped talking; how it shifted from the fantasy to something closer to reality, yet still not the present. She only realized it when the kids were replaced with just Lewis and Elena, suddenly becoming very clear of what scene this was.

“You’re doing what?” Lewis was, clearly, just confused—trying to work out the several problems that would normally arise from such an offer. “The king’s already married.”

“Is that… really a good idea?” Elena was more concerned than anything, though it proved to push Lydia’s patience. “I mean, with what happened to the twins and all…”

“That was also eight years ago,” Lydia remarked. “It’s going to be different this time, I know it.”

“Is that a risk you should be taking, though? You’re making this offer for the heir to the Seothian throne. It won’t just be family and a handful of friends—”

“Can you at least pretend like you don’t think this is going to go horribly?”

“I don’t want to see anyone get hurt. I don’t think you’re taking this seriously enough to realize what you’re offering and the harm it could do.”

Of course Lydia didn’t listen. She’d spent this many years of her life ignoring practically any advice she was given whether it helped her or not; why should she start caring now? But there was something else rising in her now, too. The knowledge that her little sister not only did what she never could but was also treated like an angel that had done no wrong came with a kind of resentment. She hated to realize that’s what it was—to take what should be relief and joy and twist it—yet let it stay.

“My mind’s made up,” Lydia said coldly. “I’m doing this and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.” She started to walk away before any more thoughts escaped her head.

That didn’t keep her from hearing them, though. “I have a bad feeling about all of this…”

“Well, there’s nothing we can do but listen… and support her better than last time, no matter what the outcome ends up being.”