The bully's redemption

Kamsi stood in the center of her room, her thoughts a tangled mess. The silence was suffocating, pressing in from every corner as she replayed the moment she called him a Monster. Her chest tightened, her words echoing louder in her mind than they had in reality.

"He deserved it," Xavier's voice had been cold, detached—like violence was nothing to him. Jimmy's blood on his hands, his dark gaze, and the way he stood over the crumpled body still haunted her. She'd been horrified. Furious. And yet… the look in his eyes when she said it.

"Monster."

Kamsi squeezed her eyes shut, biting down on her lip. "Why did I say that?" Her voice cracked, swallowed by the empty room. She dragged her hands through her hair, fingers trembling as the guilt gnawed at her. He beat jimmy unconscious,kamsi. She repeated it like a mantra, but it didn't quiet the ache.

"Maybe I pushed him too far. Maybe…" She shook her head violently. No. That didn't excuse it.

Her gaze darted to the balcony. That small patch of night had become a strange comfort, an invisible thread tethering her to him. She stepped outside, the cool wind biting at her skin as she gripped the railing, her knuckles pale. Her eyes scanned the dark school grounds below, desperate, searching. Where are you Xavier?

But there was no one. Just shadows stretching long and silent.

---

Xavier slouched at the bar in the dim haze of Ninth Club, the amber drink clutched in his hand, barely touched. Music pounded through the room like a heartbeat, but it was distant, muted—nothing reached him. The sharp tang of liquor sat on his lips, but it did little to dull the sharp edge of his thoughts.

"Monster."

The word sliced through him like a rusted blade, over and over again. Kamsi's voice was too clear, too raw. He'd heard a thousand insults before, but this one sank deeper, poisoning him from within. Maybe because… maybe because it was true.

A soft voice cut through the haze. "You look like you could use some company."

Xavier's gaze shifted lazily. The waitress leaned close, her smile painted in bold red. She smelled like cheap perfume and temptation, her dress clinging to her curves as she traced a finger down his forearm.

He didn't speak. Didn't smile. He just stared—cold and unfeeling.

She took his silence as permission, tugging him from his seat and into the shadows. Xavier let her. He let her pull him toward a secluded room, their steps uneven, her laughter shrill in his ear. He let her press against him, hands wandering over his chest, lips grazing his jaw. He let her kiss him—hard, desperate—as though she could chase away the thoughts poisoning him.

His hands gripped her waist automatically, mechanical, but his skin burned at the contact. Kamsi's face flickered in his mind like a glitch. His brows furrowed as he pulled the waitress closer, needing to erase it. He kissed harder, faster, but the image only grew stronger, sharper, until her voice shattered through his head like glass.

"Monster."

Xavier froze. His breath hitched, his hands trembling against her body. "Kamsi…"

"What?" The waitress pulled back, blinking in confusion.

Her voice dragged him back to reality, and he finally saw her—really saw her. Red lips. A stranger's eyes. Not Kamsi. Never Kamsi. The wrongness of it churned in his gut, making him recoil like he'd been burned.

"Get off," he muttered, voice rough.

The waitress frowned, reaching for him again. "Hey, don't be like that." She smiled, sultry. "We were just getting started—"

"I said get off!"

The force of his shove sent her stumbling back, crashing against the floor with a sharp gasp. She stared up at him, wide-eyed, a mix of shock and anger twisting her face. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she spat.

Xavier stood there, chest heaving, fists clenched at his sides. His head was spinning, Kamsi's face still haunting him, her words scraping against his skull.

"Get out," he growled, his voice low and dangerous.

The waitress scrambled to her feet, her heels clattering against the floor as she backed away. "Freak," she muttered, her voice shaking as she bolted from the room.

Xavier's hands dragged through his hair, fingers digging into his scalp. He tried to breathe, but it felt like the walls were closing in. Blood roared in his ears, drowning out everything but her. Always her.

Then the door slammed open.

Two bodyguards stormed inside, the waitress's voice echoing from behind them. "He tried to—he shoved me!"

Xavier didn't even look up as the first bodyguard grabbed him, yanking him forward. The punch came fast, splitting his lip and snapping his head back. Pain flared hot and sharp, but Xavier didn't flinch. Didn't fight. Another blow landed in his ribs, then another.

They hit him again and again, fists and boots meeting flesh with dull thuds. Blood trickled down his chin, mingling with sweat. But he barely felt it.

"Monster."

The word echoed louder than the fists. Louder than the shouting. Louder than the ringing in his ears.

A tear slipped down his cheek, its warmth lost in the crimson streaks staining his skin. His knees gave out, the cold floor biting into him as he crumbled.

Maybe I am.

And for the first time in years, Xavier let himself fall.