chapter 9
9 – Change – 3
The world of Priscilla Agnes, no, of the possessed Ha Yoon, was ashen.
No light came in whatsoever, everything was indistinguishable from a puppet show, it was such a world where nothing possessed its own color.
Ha Yoon just flowed in the ashen world, for hundreds of years.
She didn’t think of herself as weak. It was clear that anyone, not just Ha Yoon, would become like this if they were trapped in a world where the conclusion was already determined and they repeated infinitely regressing cycles.
“I was happy when I first came.”
When she opened her eyes as Priscilla Agnes, having possessed her favorite novel, she felt a surprising thrill. But that was all a misconception.
It took 20 long years to realize that this wasn’t an opportunity, but a curse. The process of possessing the 15-year-old Priscilla and dying at the age of 20 as Priscilla for the fourth time.
Unable to move on her own beyond the original work, having no one approaching her, having no friends to have an open-hearted conversation, and having no lover to share emotions.
Just repeating what she had always seen and always done, a daily life.
Ha Yoon’s role was to stand by and not even be allowed to see the happy ending of the heroine in the ashen world that concludes with death.
“I hate it.”
At first, she despaired, struggled, and tried to find a way out. She tried to break the infinitely repeated regression cycle.
It took a very long time for that desperate effort to turn into a simple hope of wanting to move her mere body according to her will.
“……I want to die.”
When all attempts and struggles return to failures and when the cycle of dying at 20 as always and returning to 15 starts again, Ha Yoon had that thought for the first time.
Even after experiencing the curse of the Demon King instead of Aria April and feeling her flesh rot while she was alive, Priscilla Agnes did not die.
She simply woke up in bed on her 15th birthday, as always.
“It doesn’t hurt.”
At some point, she didn’t feel anything even while dying from the curse. She could only feel her body changing to a jellylike state.
Ha Yoon thought that it happened after something inside her broke off abruptly. And she realized that she was just before collapse, beyond the point of return.
“Ha Yoon. My name.”
So, she clung desperately to her name. She never let go of her name.
If she even forgets this and leaves her own name behind in time, she felt that everything would indeed shatter. In the story that she had always seen, Ha Yoon gritted her teeth and repeated only her name.
“……Ha Yoon. My… name……?”
But even that had certain limits. When the number of times she woke up in bed on her 15th birthday exceeded three digits and counting them became meaningless, Ha Yoon was merely mechanically repeating her name.
Even she herself questioned why she had to remember it.
She doesn’t even remember when she moved her body by her own will. Nevertheless, she continues to live as Priscilla.
Then, isn’t she Priscilla Agnes, not Ha Yoon?
“Ah.”
The moment she thought this, Ha Yoon gave up everything else. It was only after that when she began to devote herself to marking time. From then on, Priscilla Agnes was no longer struggling.
And one day in the ashen world, where only meaningless numbers were being repeated, a miracle suddenly appeared.
“You’re the first-year valedictorian. You know, right?”
It wasn’t the protagonist of the original work, Aria April, but a boy with a face he had never seen before showed up. It was truly the first time she had seen this face in the infinite world.
“No.”
I don’t know you. Priscilla, who was about to say this, realized at some point that she was speaking ‘words that didn’t exist in the original novel’.
At first, she didn’t understand the single color that appeared in the world that lost its light. She only thought that she was feeling something wrong.
“I’m… I’m… “
But when she heard his voice again, when she realized all of this was true, Priscilla couldn’t help but burst into tears, vomiting up all the sorrow she had held back.
It was the day that Priscilla Agnes, no, the possessed Ha Yoon, found the color of her world anew.
‘So… this is how it felt.’
The sensation of moving of her own free will. Not where the script wanted her to go but where she wanted to go. The people who don’t just regurgitate set lines. It all felt incredibly foreign.
Ha Yoon steps out with her own power. And just like that, the world changes simply. She starts heading in an unknown direction.
She thought she was happy.
‘…It’s cold.’
Until she was left alone in her dorm room after parting with the possessor who introduced himself as Mira Créateur.
Once she was left alone, a dreadful cold enveloped her body. Even when the room was warmed with magic and she wrapped herself in blankets, the cold didn’t go away.
Ha Yoon knew what this cold was.
‘It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay…’
It was fear.
The fear that all of this might just be a dream. And if she woke up, she might find herself back in that cage.
Left alone in her dorm, Ha Yoon bundled herself in blankets and shivered the night away. As soon as she met Mira Créateur the next day, she felt the cold completely disappear.
Ha Yoon suddenly realized that a world without color was very cold. And also realized how incredibly warm Mira Créateur’s hand was.
‘It’s warm.’
Fortunately, Mira seemed to accept Ha Yoon’s clinginess without showing any signs of being annoyed. As the time she desired his warmth increased, the cold she felt when he was gone grew too.
So she boldly moved forward. Hoping that if she received more of his warmth, she could better withstand being alone.
‘…This won’t work.’
But it didn’t. If anything, the emptiness felt more acute, not at all helpful.
Within this growing dependence, Ha Yoon felt an unease for the first time today, despite Mira Créateur being by her side. The cause was the monster that appeared near the department store.
‘…Why am I uneasy, even though the events have diverged from the original?’
She was also confused. She should be happy, other than the tired old plot. She should be happy about any change, but why was she anxious?
‘I see.’
Ha Yoon soon figured it out. If a new plot appears, she can’t predict the outcome. So naturally, Mira Créateur can’t form a battle plan.
The contradicted feeling of wanting to experience a new plot development, but not wanting that new development to cause Mira Créateur harm, was the source of her anxiety.
And she realized the solution along with it.
‘I just have to do it.’
To protect the sun from harm. To ensure that never happens.
I can defend it.
I will.
$…$
Priscilla stood calmly, facing the unbearably hot air, I was reflecting on the aftermath of my own destructive actions, behind her back.
When we stepped out, a monster was just emerging from the black portal. And as soon as Priscilla acted, it melted on the spot.
The searing stones on the road and the clay floor transformed into a glossy ceramic-like state by extreme heat only explained what had just happened.
There was no damage to buildings or people. Thanks to Priscilla, who perfectly dropped a fireball onto the monster’s head and shielded all possible danger areas with a magical barrier.
‘So that’s what it takes to get the top spot at Bellium Academy.’
$Are you okay? No injuries?$
Priscilla, who was looking at the spot where the monster disappeared with muddled eyes, came to me with a concerned question as soon as our eyes met.
$How could there be? You did it all, Priscilla.$
“…I’m relieved.”
With a faint smile, Priscilla took my hand and brought it to her cheek. My palm seemed to envelope her face.
“It’s warm…”
“…?”
I looked at Priscilla rubbing her cheek against my palm with puzzled eyes. The air was still hot from the recently unleashed fireball.
“Isn’t it warmer around?”
“No. Not at all.”
Priscilla shook her head firmly.
“You’re the only one who can make me feel warm.”
“My goodness… really now…”
Beatrice caused a fuss at the words that could be mistaken as a confession of love. Her gaze sparkled in our direction.
We, who had been virtually pushed back into the department store to take care of the aftermath by Beatrice as if she had flipped a switch, ran into Aria and Brynhild who were about to dash out urgently.
“…Oh, we’re a bit late. We rushed over as fast as we could.”
“Priscilla handled it. The creature died without a sound. The situation’s over, let’s head back. I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Even though it felt like a very powerful monster… Already taken care of?”
“She’s a top second-year student. She can easily handle that much. There were no casualties, so don’t feel guilty.”
I pushed Brynhild’s back with one hand, while guiding Priscilla with the other hand towards the staff waiting in the distance. Aria nervously followed us.
Suddenly, a brief flicker crossed the blue eyes.
The day after Aria and Brynhild received a staggering 125% discount and returned with half-dazed expressions, Priscilla naturally came to my room.
She was dressed in the casual clothing I bought for her yesterday.
“A saint might come to visit soon, right?”
“Yes. Well, not exactly a saint, but a saint candidate. And it’s soon only in terms of the original timeline. In reality, we have to wait almost a month.”
This wasn’t to just proudly tout the new clothes. It was to explain the flow of the episodes unfolding after the monster incident.
As expected, the appearance of a monster in the Empire’s capital was supposed to happen next year, when the power of the Devil King grows.
After the incident, the need for a hero quickly surfaced, and eventually the final event in the first part triggered an early graduation. With a few side characters, the second part began as they left the academy.
The admission of a young woman, who was being pushed by the church as a powerful saint candidate, into the Bellium Academy was also part of that process.
“That girl, she can’t become the saint anyway. The schedule gets messed up and god’s trust descends in the academy, but the goddess chooses Aria, not that girl.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Because Aria is the main character.”
Well, she was a person doomed to a sorrowful fate. If the original story changes due to the girl being chosen as a saint, who knows.
“I think the future of Aria being chosen as a saint won’t change. If I were a goddess, I would also choose Aria, not that girl.”
Reading my expression, Priscilla was the first to speak.
“What kind of person is she?”
“…To sum it up.”
Priscilla paused a bit here. Then, she nodded her head and continued.
“You could say she’s mad.”