NOVEL WEB Chapter 199: Farewell
After a quick talk, the General reluctantly agreed to let me go back so we buckle up and take our leave.
Xu Lei watches me as I tie the improvised coffin to the horses, he bows on one knee and rests the hands on the wood without saying a word... After a few moments in silence he stands back up and hops on the horse -Let's go- I exchange a worried stare with Qin Luo before following him.
...
Once we make it back to our camp the sun of the next day is already rising, I see some men waiting at the perimeter who have fallen asleep from quick a while by now... Upon hearing the gallop of the animals one of them rises his head, looks around with a tired expression and then rushes to wake up his fellows -They're back! Wake up evryone! C'mon Ka Suo, you too- it's Zhou, probably the only one happy for my return out of them all -Wei go call the general-
I slow down my horse and approach them lastly -Lai'Er...! Are you injured anywhere?- he asks, instead of replying I simply shake my head -Good- he takes a breath of relief and turns to Qin Luo -While you were away the men who evacuated the camp have made their return too, except He Rang, they said he was on another cart-
The General nods and the younger soldier rises an eyebrow, he looks at the tree of us confused -What's wrong? You all look so... Weird- Xu Lei opens the mouth first -It was a long and tiring trip, we just want to rest a bit alone...- while he's talking, Zhou looks around even more confused and his eyes falls on the wooden coffin.
He gulps down, quickly catching on -Is... Is that...- Qin Luo comes to his side and grabs his shoulder, wanting to pushing aside and block his view but the soldier doesn't budge and his eyes turn red -Lai'Er...?- he looks at me with hope in in his eye for a different reply -I failed to protect, Ge... Punish me as you see fit- I kneel on the ground and look down, waiting for something that never arrives
-How did he die?- his voice trembles and the eyes don't leave the coffin -The muscles in his leg tore apart and the wound reopened, leaving to bleed to death...- he nods -Just one thing matters to me... Has he offered his life to help others or was he attacked?-
The words are stuck in my throat, knowing too well who he offered his life for and how it could have been avoided... All because he wanted me to come back and save everyone else -He sacrificed himself for the survival of others-
-Then may he rest in peace in heaven...- he said and quickly leave. The other guys waiting with him look at me and the coffin with many different emotions on their faces, Shun shakes his head and turns his back on me... Disappearing... Probably forever.
...
After hearing my words, General Cai seats down and remains silent for quite some time making everyone present worry... -Are there any witness of what happened after you lost consciousness?- Are his first words -None-
He nods a couple of times and sighs all together -It's not like I don't trust you but... Seeing the current situation, everyone will quickly accuse you of betrayal once more- he speaks looking troubled -The other injured men saw you kill the weaker patients and knows nothing after that, about you getting knocked out or drugged... Nor about you fighting for your life in front of that temple. They left before you, before the nurse got killed too-
I nod understanding the situation -Are you sure you can handle the accusations coming toward you? Soon the whole camp will be talking against you, being pushed by General Wu's lackeys. They'll say you killed the weak ones out of depravation, killed the nurse we found and even accuse you of being responsible for your companion's death... They'll even say you planned to kill the remaining ones but failed to be quick enough and probably you will get accused of plotting with the enemy in some kind of way-
I kneel down and bow my head to the ground -I have no other option but to bear through those accusations. I cannot prove my innocence-
He looks at my fist laying on the ground, tightly gripped -To ne accused of a brother's death and not being able to prove otherwise is one of the worst injustices in life... Go back now, rest and replenish yourself. We'll talk again once you'll have a clearer head-
-Yessir-
...
Xu Lei and Zhou Zhang insist on wanting to arrange a parting ceremony on their own for He Rang and Qin Luo stops me from helping... I feel the weight of his death pressing down on me, I want to do whatever I can to ease it even if just a bit, but he says that I should allow them this one last farewell just for the tree of them.
It might be painful for those two to cleanse and dress his resting body, but in a way that would also help them to overcome the pain of loss... Or at least that's what Qin Luo believes.
-What are you doing Lai'Er?- he asks, resting one hand on my shoulder from behind -Just... Passing the time untill they call for me, I suppose-
He looks down at the table in front of me -Is that them?- I nod as a reply and he grabs a chair to seat beside me -Stop blaming yourself for once...- he whispers over my hair, with an arm around my shoulders, this is not what I want to hear now... I have no desire for this conversation, it keeps reappearing again and again in my days and it only reminds me how weak I've become
-I'm fine, don't worry- I turn to face him and he presses his lips over my forehead -No, you're not- he murmurs and stop talking any further, having understood my intentions.
Steps come from outside and Xu Lei appears at the entrance of the tend -It's time, let's go- he says holding a torch in one hand...
I leave everything I was doing and join them, the night seems endless today... Xu Lei slowly walks toward the corpse, surrounded by flowers and leaves, before letting his torch fall on it. All that is hear is the sound of cries and screams as Qin Luo holds Zhou from joining the fire... The resentment from Shun piercing me alive and the pain of guilt forcing me to step back and leave as the grieve together...
The last memory of He Rang left in this world is now a simple drawing, holding his lover in his arms, laying down on my table... Such a simple and frail memento that could erase his existence, his smile and his joy with a spark of fire.