The Almighty Janitor

Part 1 – Welcome to the Janitor's Guild (Sort of)

Talia awoke at 5:47 a.m.

Not because of her alarm.

Because her mop started growling.

"WHY IS IT ALIVE?!"

She fell out of bed, grabbed a pillow, and swatted the enchanted mop until it whimpered and curled into the corner like a guilty puppy.

"This apprenticeship is off to a disturbing start."

At exactly 6:00 a.m., her dorm window swung open on its own, and a small pigeon flew in, dropped a scroll onto her face, and exploded into glitter.

"...Is this normal?"

The scroll unraveled midair.

OFFICIAL APPRENTICE SCHEDULEBy Order of The Janitor Supreme

Tasks for Talia Grime-Helper (provisional):

06:30 – Report to Janitor HQ Sub-Basement Gamma

07:00 – Review "Mopping Techniques & Monster Neutralization"

08:00 – Break (if not dead)

08:01 – Clean Demon Summoning Room 2B

09:00 – Attend Surprise Evaluation

10:00 – Tea with a Time Ghost (optional, not recommended)

Talia groaned, grabbed her uniform, and sprinted out the door—

—wearing one boot and her pajamas.

🧽 Janitor HQ Sub-Basement Gamma

The room was bigger than expected.

Part office, part bunker, part supply closet of the gods.

Shelves lined with legendary cleaning products: Windex of Wisdom, Mr. Mopgic, and one very suspicious bucket labeled:

"DO NOT TOUCH – CONTAINS A SENTIENT FUNGUS NAMED KEVIN"

Mop stood at the center, adjusting his coat.

"You're late."

"I exploded a bird!"

"Fair."

He tossed her a training manual so thick it could legally be used as a building foundation.

The cover read:

"So You Accidentally Joined the Secret Order of Magical Janitors: A Beginner's Guide (Revised, Cursed Edition)"

"We start with protocols," Mop said."Emergency evacuation, mop safety, and demon slime classification."

"I know what slime looks like."

"Do you know what it smells like before it attacks?"

"...No?"

"Then you don't know slime."

Just then—

BOOM.

The walls shook. An alarm blared. Sirens sang in barbershop quartet harmony.

A red orb blinked on the wall:

"WARNING: UNAUTHORIZED SUMMONING IN ROOM 2B. UNKNOWN ENTITY. POSSIBLE DENTAL MAGIC DETECTED."

Talia blinked.

"What's dental magic?"

"Nothing good," Mop muttered."Grab your mop. It's time for your first real mess."

Part 2 – The Tooth Demon of Room 2B

Room 2B was not supposed to be used for summoning anymore.After the Gummy Bear Incident, it had been locked, sealed, and cursed with eternal elevator music.

Yet somehow, it was now wide open.

And humming.

"Should we call for backup?" Talia whispered.

"We are the backup," Mop said.

"Terrifying."

They stepped inside.

The walls pulsed. Magic circles glowed with improper geometry. Someone had drawn a summoning pentagram... with a toothbrush.

In the center of the room was a creature.

At first glance, it looked like a large molar.

At second glance... it still looked like a molar.

But with spindly legs, glistening enamel, and way too many eyes.

"That's... a tooth demon," Mop muttered.

"You're kidding."

"Summoned from the Cavity Realm. Likes sugar. Hates floss."

"So what do we do?"

"We brush it."

"...Excuse me?"

The demon hissed.A blast of minty fog sprayed from its mouth.Talia slipped. The floor was now toothpaste-slick.

"Plan B!" Mop shouted.

"Which is?!"

"Improvise!"

Mop twirled his enchanted mop like a polearm.Glowing bristles spun with a faint lemon-fresh aura.He slid forward, striking the demon's front with a sweeping arc.

SPLAT.

The creature squealed and launched itself onto the ceiling.

"I hate everything about this," Talia said.

"Then you're doing it right!"

She grabbed a mop of her own. Not enchanted. Not glowing.

But it smelled faintly of pine and destiny.

She lunged—

—slipped—

—and smacked the demon right in the molars.

"Did that do anything?!"

"You gave it gingivitis!"

"Is that good?!"

"YES!"

Mop leapt into the air, bounced off a desk, yelled "MINTY JUSTICE," and stabbed the demon through the summoning sigil.

It screamed, gurgled mouthwash, and poofed into confetti.

Talia landed on the floor, panting, soaked in magical saliva.

"That... was disgusting."

"That was a Tuesday," Mop said.

Suddenly, the door slammed open.

In walked a very tall, very serious figure in a shimmering silver uniform and clipboard of doom.

"Janitorial Audit Division," she said."We're here to inspect."

Talia whispered,

"We're doomed."

Part 3 – Audit, Inspection, and Unexpected Tea

The inspector wore gloves.

That was always a bad sign.

She moved through Room 2B with the elegance of a noble and the suspicion of someone who had absolutely no faith in mops.

Her badge gleamed:

"Department of Magical Sanitation – Audit Division"Subsection 4C: Surprise Evaluations, Investigations & Tea Procurement

"This summoning room," she sniffed, "violates seventeen subsections of the Standard Janitorial Codex."

"Seventeen?" Mop blinked. "Impressive. We usually hit twenty."

She narrowed her eyes.

"Name?"

"Mop."

"Just Mop?"

"Legally, yes."

"And the apprentice?"

Talia stood stiffly, still covered in demon goo.

"Talia Grime-Helper. Not legally, just... unfortunately."

The inspector pulled out a crystal orb, which floated and began recording.

"Standard protocol: Inspection Report Begins."

She tapped the orb.

"Status of summoning containment?"

"Resolved."

"By?"

"Brute force and personal hygiene."

"Any unauthorized spells cast?"

"Only in self-defense and dental panic."

"Any witnesses?"

"One," Talia said, pointing to the talking bucket in the corner.

"Kevin saw everything."

The bucket burbled.

"I saw nothin', mate. I was busy evolving."

"He's growing arms," Mop whispered.

"He should not be growing arms," the inspector muttered.

Finally, the inspector sighed and pulled out a scroll.

"Due to protocol breach, your unit must now complete Form 709-B: 'Apprentice Compliance & Post-Demonic Detention Questionnaire.'"

"Sounds easy," Talia said.

"It's forty-seven pages," Mop replied."Some in interpretive dance."

She handed Talia a glowing quill.

"Sign here to confirm apprenticeship status during active containment."

Talia didn't read it.

Because of course she didn't.

She signed.

And the scroll vanished with a sinister pop.

"Did I just... do something permanent?"

"Most likely," Mop said.

"Do I own my soul?"

"Fifty-fifty."

The inspector nodded.

"Audit complete. You pass. Barely."

She turned to leave.

"Oh. Almost forgot. Tea?"

She produced a porcelain teacup from nowhere and handed it to Talia.

Steam rose.

It smelled like earl grey and anxiety.

"Wait—what kind of tea is this?" Talia asked.

"Reality stabilizer. Keeps your mind intact after staring into abyssal paperwork."

"...That's comforting."

As the inspector left, the room fell quiet.

Talia sat down, dazed.

"Is every day like this?"

"No," Mop said."Some are weirder."

Suddenly, the wall clock ticked thirteen.

The room darkened.

A voice echoed from the air vent.

"H̸͍͉̓̎̅͗e̴̛̍͒̄͘ͅl̶̩̓̈́́͊̕l̶̨̡̺̪̓̾o̶̜̟͓͋͂̾ ̷̞̅́M̷̬͍̾͋̀͐̎ơ̶͇̇͒̔̑p̷̘̳͕͔̅̾͒ͅ...̷̥̙̻̟̟́"

Talia sipped her tea.

"I hate everything."

"You're learning," Mop said.

Part 4 – Bucket Rebellion and the Broomstick Chase

It began with a scream.

Specifically, a janitor's scream:

"THE BUCKET'S GONE SENTIENT!"

Kevin had escaped.

His new arms—mop handles glued to plungers—paddled like oars as he zipped down the hallway, leaving a trail of foam and anarchy.

Students screamed.Professors ran.One unlucky cat was now lemon-scented.

"He's headed for the east tower!" a voice yelled.

"Why the east tower?" Talia asked.

"That's where the forbidden cleaning agents are kept," Mop replied grimly.

"You mean..."

"Yes. Bleach level 9."

The duo ran.

Then flew.

Janitorial issue broomsticks weren't designed for speed, but they had built-in cup holders and motivational enchantments.

Talia's broom chanted:

"You can do it! Maybe!"

Mop's just growled.

"Wipe or die."

They spotted Kevin midair, flinging mops like javelins.

"He's adapting," Mop said. "I don't like it."

"I think I just saw him floss someone to unconsciousness."

Kevin landed on a parapet, spun, and screamed in a distorted voice:

"FREEDOM FOR THE UNWASHED!"

He fired a sponge grenade.

Talia caught it.

"He's weaponized dishware!"

"I warned the council," Mop muttered.

They dove toward him.

Kevin pulled out a forbidden spray bottle, glowing red with unstable cleaning energy.

"Back off, or the tiles get it!"

"You monster," Mop whispered.

"They were freshly waxed!"

Talia acted fast.

She flung her teacup.

It struck Kevin's lid with a bonk, stunning him.

Mop leapt, tackled the bucket, and pinned it with a dishrag of holding.

Kevin screamed in five frequencies and finally passed out.

Silence fell.

The janitorial squad landed behind them, impressed.

"Well," said one. "That was something."

"Normal day," Mop replied, wringing out his shirt.

"He's drooling bleach," Talia noted.

"At least it's Level 6," Mop shrugged.

Kevin was returned to containment.

With extra duct tape.

And a sticker that said "DO NOT ANGER – PLAYS GOD."

That night, Talia slumped on her cot, mop by her side.

"I survived a demon, an audit, and a rebel bucket."

"And you signed a soul-binding contract," Mop added.

"Let me have this win, Mop."

From outside, the wind howled.

Somewhere deep in the academy, a drain gurgled ominously.

And a shadow moved beneath the boiler room…

💥 To be continued in Chapter 5 – "Drain Dwellers and Midnight Moppings"