THE ALCHEMIST OF HARRY POTTER

When the four friends finished their butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade, the rain had eased into a light drizzle.

"Let's hit Zonko's Joke Shop first!" Fred Weasley suggested eagerly, concerned that if they visited Honeydukes first, they might spend the last of their Galleons on sweets.

"Alright," Albert agreed, reluctantly pulling his gaze away from the enticing display of chocolate frogs and Fizzing Whizzbees in Honeydukes' window. He was curious to see what made the Weasley twins so obsessed with Zonko's.

Zonko's Joke Shop was conveniently located near Honeydukes, with only a small alley separating them. The shop's large glass windows were filled with bizarre prank items, from Dungbombs to Nose-Biting Teacups.

As they pushed open the creaky door, a bell chimed above them.

"Welcome!" said the shopkeeper, a cheerful wizard with a thinning mop of hair and laugh lines creasing his face—clearly used to entertaining Hogwarts students on Hogsmeade weekends.

The shop brimmed with peculiar items. Albert shook the rain off his umbrella and wandered toward a shelf stacked with quirky merchandise.

"Self-Writing Quills," Albert read aloud, recognizing them from the Hogwarts Express trolley.

"A fine invention for dodging homework," the shopkeeper quipped with a grin. "Perfect for Divination essays, though don't expect it to help with Professor Snape's potions lessons."

"Tempting, but I'll pass," Albert replied, knowing his own magical prowess meant he didn't need shortcuts.

Nearby, he spotted a Trick Broomstick—an old Zonko's classic. According to the sign, it had five mischievous settings, including wild spins and sudden stops that could leave an unsuspecting rider tumbling headfirst into the ground.

Albert's attention shifted to a shelf lined with novelty soaps labeled Frog Spawn Soap. Touching it supposedly made the user dirtier instead of cleaner—a prank he suspected Peeves the Poltergeist would enjoy.

Next to the soaps, a display of Nose-Biting Teacups caught his eye, accompanied by a warning label: Not for the faint-hearted—May spill hot tea unexpectedly!

"What are you getting?" Albert asked Fred and George.

"Dungbombs, of course!" the twins chorused mischievously.

Albert opted for a few Hiccough Sweets and Squealing Sugar Mice—small candies that emitted mouse-like squeaks when bitten.

Fred eagerly tried one, yelping dramatically as if he had actually bitten a live rodent, causing the shopkeeper to chuckle heartily.

"How does it taste?" Albert asked, amused.

"Like regular jelly, just louder!" Fred managed between bites.

"And you, Lee?" Albert turned to Lee Jordan.

"This." Lee pointed to a terrifying Fanged Frisbee, known for its ear-piercing shriek and ability to shred parchment in seconds.

"Careful with that," the shopkeeper warned, demonstrating the disc's ferocity by tossing it across the room. It tore through a scrap of paper in an instant.

Lee hesitated at the price tag—three Galleons wasn't cheap—but bought it anyway, unable to resist the thrill.

Before leaving, Albert picked up two Inflatable Screaming Skeletons—they expanded rapidly upon release and let out a bone-chilling wail before bursting in a cloud of white powder.

Lee also purchased a Sticky Stretch Hand that could latch onto objects—or people—from across the room, snapping back with a satisfying pop.

They left the shop with arms full of Zonko's paper bags. Lee couldn't resist adding Dungbombs to his stash.

"You didn't get any?" Fred asked Albert, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I'm not interested in that mess," Albert replied gruffly. The thought of foul-smelling mud exploding everywhere wasn't appealing.

"Relax, we'll be careful," George promised, adding with a smirk, "Besides, I owe Filch a little revenge after that detention."

"Zonko's is brilliant, isn't it?" Fred beamed.

Albert nodded thoughtfully. "You two should think about opening your own joke shop one day—you'd be naturals."

The twins exchanged intrigued glances. The idea had never occurred to them, but it sparked something exciting.

"You might need some magical know-how—enchantments, maybe a bit of alchemy," Albert added, examining a squeaking candy.

"What about you? What's your plan?" Lee asked.

"Still figuring it out," Albert admitted, though in truth, he had ambitions beyond the wizarding world—possibly finance, with some magical assistance for good measure.

He'd already considered using Divination to predict lottery outcomes or utilizing a Time-Turner to gain an edge.

While deep in thought, they wandered into Honeydukes. Though Fred and George had spent nearly all their Galleons at Zonko's, they couldn't resist browsing shelves piled high with Pepper Imps, Acid Pops, and Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans—hoping they'd have better luck (and more money) next time.