Thank You For Being Trash

He didn’t know exactly when, but the moment he first grabbed the sword… That was the child's first memory.

All the time, he was always with the sword. They were always together when he slept, when he ate, when he climbed the mountain, and when he ran the training ground. He wanted to keep the weight of the wooden sword heavy, though the child's teacher did not allow it.

He drew strokes and strokes until his hand swelled, and he continued to swing. He went round and round the training ground until he got out of breath.

The child did not know why he was holding the sword. He didn't even know how old he was or his name. He only knew the sword… Still, he didn't know why he was holding the sword.

Thousands of children ran around the training ground with swords. And, one by one, they disappeared. The child did not know where they were coming from or where they were going. After that, their bodies grew to a certain extent, and after intensive training, the surviving children began to study — study writing, and study etiquette.

The remaining time was, again, with the sword.

Even when studying, the sword was always tied to one part of the waist.

When he turned his head after living frantically, some of the people around him disappeared. The child just quietly did what was given to him. He learned the sword, mastered the letters even more perfectly, and learned all kinds of knowledge, including literature and history.

“Chivalry has the meaning of honor, justification, and protection of the weak. Once you have chivalry, it is up to you with your swords to decide what to prioritize.”

The child stared blankly at the sword tied around his waist. He did not wield the sword with any significant value. He didn't know what he wanted. The sword was just a way of life for a child, like eating a meal.

“A knight without faith is like a murderer. Always consider your own convictions before wielding a sword. Faith takes precedence over command.”

“The practice of the Blanc family is notorious for its harshness. If there is at least one reason to learn the sword, you will be able to withstand the harshness of it.”

The child thought and pondered. He once again looked at the sword that was with him.

Pulling out the slick, he polished sword. He raised his sword towards the sky. He always carried it in his arms and shared his joy and sorrows. Although he swung it meaninglessly, even though he had no energy in his body to even lift a sword, the child had never even thought of taking the sword off his hand.

“The Blanc family is the sword that protects the Emperor from generation to generation.”

The knight's words continued.

She explained chivalry, justice, history, and the benefits of swordsmanship to the human body. At the children's request, she even showed her sword skill with a big smile. It was beautiful and sharp.

A year has passed since then.

The children gathered around to practice, eat, talk, and go on dispatch missions. The Blanc family’s training was as harsh as the knight said.

After they stayed up for twenty hours, they climbed the mountain to catch a bear, and they were sent to the mountain to starve for three days. It was a series of life-threatening things. The child was alone in the group.

Between the empires and kingdoms, a peaceful atmosphere had already been established for more than a hundred years. The child didn't know why he had to train so much that his death was the price. Nevertheless, the child continued to accomplish his mission silently.

The price of a momentary mistake was death.

“I asked you to write down why you should learn the sword. You’re the only one who did not give a reason.”

Blanc Asteron, the head of the Blanc family, the person he met for the first time in his life…

The child hurriedly took a bow and glanced at him. Asteron has blue hair and golden eyes. The child looked around and couldn't find a single place that looked like him. He couldn't contain his pure curiosity. It was a question that popped up out of nowhere.

“…Am I your son?”

Asteron laughed out loud as his eyes gleamed dangerously. The child trembled at the creepy gaze that caught him.

“If you write down the reason why you should learn the sword, I will let you know.”

Asteron patted the child on the shoulder and stepped out. He shouted behind Asteron, who had already gone too far.

“Why are you learning the sword!”

Asteron’s steps stopped.

“I wanted to learn the sword for the weak. Now, I raise my sword for honor.”

Although invisible to the child, Asterone laughed bitterly.

* * *

Two years later, the child who went on his mission was seriously injured and wounded. The child's body was constantly dwindling, and his fever rose.

Poison… because of poison.

He gasped for breath every day—things like lights spread out like a panorama. The child shook his head. He did not endure so many hard days to die so easily… His life couldn’t end here.

Even then, he thought that it would be better for him to stop breathing if the pain was enough to put his mind to rest. The child cried, and laughed like crazy. Screams cried out at his pain. In the midst of this pain, he stopped breathing at the thought passing through his head.

At that time, the disappearing children did not disappear, but were dead. The child thought so.

Asteron… Numerous children who were not like him and under his care were also not his children. It was not possible to have so many children of the same age that were born at the same time. However, the child did not doubt that they were brothers of blood.

Still, it wasn't. They were all children who had been picked up from somewhere.

Perhaps, it was because his death was imminent, or the child's brain was spinning rapidly as his sufferings approached. The child stumbled one last time and went to find his father, who had not seen a single hair. His shimmering sight found the bluish hair.

The child asked him, hiding his expression contorted in pain.

“…Am I your child?”

“You are bold even in the face of death.”

He laughed.

At the same time, the child's heart fell to the floor. He wasn't Asterone’s child either. No one, not even a beast, would stare at the death of their children with such eyes.

“I want to say no if you can’t escape that death. My son is not that weak.”

“…Is that so."

The child turned his head. He headed to his own room.

How did he live until today…? He didn't want to die here. He stayed up all night, starved for food, and was thrown into the battlefield, and he had been living a life of his own. Overcoming death crisis countless times. The scars of a miserable life were engraved all over his body for a child who had been living a life of recklessness.

As a result, the child survived. He stayed ill for a few more nights, and then he came back to life. As soon as the child woke up from the bed, he went to see Asteron.

“…Am I your son?”

Asteron drank the tea and glanced at the child. The child did not know why he was obsessed with his birth. He didn't know why he was so obsessed with hearing that he was Asteron’s son, even though he knew he wasn't Asteron’s.

No, he actually knew… The child did not want to become a disposable accessory like other children.

“…My son is a knight.”

“…Is that so."

The child stared at Asteron. He slowly and politely walked out of the room.

Bitting his lips, he said that one day when his swordsmanship was ready, he would make protecting the weak as his top priority. He felt that he didn't want to be someone who used people as an accessory like Asteron. He thought he wanted to uphold the values ​​that Asteron had abandoned…

The child was different from Asteron.

He thought it would be possible.

* * *

After that, the child prepared for the knight promotion exam. In the meantime, the child has watched many people die from training. He couldn't stop. He was equipped with skills, but he could not save any of them.

Among the dead, there were children who wanted to learn the sword to protect the weak.

The child gave himself up.

When the weak die by the sword that they wanted to learn to protect the weak, what kind of sword was that…?

His eyes, brimming with enthusiasm, cooled with despair and became dead. He saw the death of many. Even those who came back alive with their teeth clenched lost their lives in one clumsy mistake… Or, out of fear, sometimes out of pity, they lost their life.

Empty your emotions and cut them… He later vowed not to do that…

The kid on his mission was sometimes confused. He didn't know who the enemy was.

Was the beast in front of him an enemy? Were the looters coming down from the north the enemy? Driven by death, despairing in fear. Desperate to see people dying… He lost a friend overnight, and lost a part of his body when he was caught up in his emotions.

It was directly related to death. They waited for death.

Even so, the children did not swear even once to Asteron, who was doing this training. They knew as long as they endure training well and become a person that Asterone was satisfied with. They could eat freshly cooked meals in a warm house, not on the street—that they could lie down in a cozy bed.

So, they were satisfied. However, since the child had no memory of wandering around before grabbing the sword, he was constantly curious and questioned.

Several more years passed.

The knight exam of the Carwen Empire was notorious for its notoriety.

Deathmatch, if you don't kill, you die… Someone had to die to win or lose. The child often fought with others. He stayed up for several nights, and one day he purposely caught a cold. He knew he wouldn't die from practice matches with the kids, so he worked hard to get the best grades in the worst conditions.

The child gradually became a monster.

The child, wanting to live, threw himself to death and practiced the sword recklessly. Why did he have to learn the sword as he was driven to death…? The reason that even the child who practiced swords like a reckless child did not know.

On the day of the knight exam, for the first time, the child killed a person. Red blood stains spattered where he passed. Until now, the child had never taken a person's life directly.

…He raised his sword to protect the weak, though he had stood at the top by killing the weak.

Was the tip of his sword pointing towards those who wanted to harm the weak? Was it directed towards the weak…?

Only silent questions spread.

The child stared blankly at the place he had swept away. His own swordsmanship was not at the level of a human. He could feel a presence with his eyes closed, and even if one of his legs was broken, he could handle two adult men.

After receiving the knighthood, he returned to the Blanc family wearing the knight's uniform.

He took his luggage from the room he was staying in. Asteron came directly to the room of the child who became a knight. It was a room that Asteron did not come to visit, even when the child was battling a disease, or even when he was about to die.

He met Asterone's gaze.

"Acacia. You are my child.”

Asteron spat out calmly.

Blanc Acacia… He whispered his name in his mind. Hidden love. It wasn't even a funny name. After years of hard work, he heard the word son… However, he wasn't happy at all.

He had to admit a fact he didn't want to admit.

He simply became the most useful person for the family. Like all the children here, he was freed from becoming a disposable accessory at any time. Still, that didn't make him special. He just became the first knight among the children here…

He was the accessory.

After years and years… decades. He was a disposable accessory. All the children here were like that. When they grew up and succeeded, they would be given a name and be treated like a son.

The child memorized his given name.

…Acacia.

Acacia.

And then, he found out his age.

He was twenty years old. It was the age of the youngest person to be appointed as a knight.

__

Editor’s Note: Hello, it’s Nabi! I’m the editor of this novel ପ( ๑•ᴗ•๑ )ଓ♡ I recently opened a kofi. If you like the novel and would like to support me, please feel free to click the button below to go to my kofi~!

Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don't buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. ❤︎