Tanya Degurechaff’s Hogwarts Adventure

Lavender Brown

A troll breaking into the school was frightening, and a like bit exciting. Knowing that at any moment it might break through the portrait or that it might have shown up while they were going through the corridors to the Gryffindor Tower sent a shiver of excitement down Lavender's spine. That everyone made it to the house safely did not dull that excitement, even as the house continued the feast among themselves. It was after a while that Parvati asked Lavender about where Harry was.

Looking around, Lavender saw that Ron wasn't there either. Spotting Lily, Lavender asked her if she knew where they were.

"Last I saw they were sneaking off at the second floor towards the girl's room that Ron made Hermione run to when he made her cry."

"And you didn't tell the prefect they left because?" Lavender asked.

"They were sneaking, which means they were trying to be stealthy and me pointing out they were sneaking off would have ruined their stealth. Though I suppose Tanya does say we need to be learning from each other as much as possible so me pointing out they weren't doing a good job would help them be sneakier in the future and I would be teaching them a lesson on how to sneak away."

Lavender bit her lip as she looked around the Common Room. No one else seemed to have noticed they were missing yet. "Parv, should we let the prefects know," Lavender asked unsure.

Parvati fidgeted nervously. "Yeah. I think we should," she said after a moment. Before they could get to Percy though, the entrance swung open and the two boys stepped in looking a little green. Everyone turned to the entrance then and the ending of conversations let them hear the wet sounds of footsteps coming behind Harry and Ron. In came Hermione, being helped by the grisly sight of Tanya.

Lavender could see the dark brown-red splatters on Tanya's face and the same staining her shirt so completely that if Lavender didn't know she had been wearing a white shirt this morning, she might think that was the shirt color. The black color of Tanya's robes and hat hid the color, but it was still clear both were wet with something.

The thing that bothered Lavender the most about Tanya at that moment was her expression. Tanya did not seem concerned she was covered in some thick, disgusting liquid. All she did was lead Hermione to a spot on the couch that was quickly vacated before excusing herself to wash up. Harry and Ron immediately placed themselves around Hermione.

"What happened to Tanya?" Dean asked.

"She killed a troll." That answer put all attention on Hermione as she was asked a number of questions until Harry got her a plate of food and told everyone that Hermione hadn't eaten yet.

Lavender's roommate killed a troll. There was something terrifying about that. Something terrifying about the roommate she had been the least friendly with killing a troll and walking around in its blood as though it was a perfectly normal thing to do. Lavender's eyes were drawn to the splatters that formed the path Tanya took.

"She can't be fully human," Parvati said next to Lavender, forcing a bark of laughter out of Lavender.

"What do you think she is then?"

Parvati shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know if I want to know. What I do know, whatever she is, she is helping us."

A shiver went down Lavender's spine. "Yeah. You're right."

Whatever she was, Lavender wanted to be on her good side.

When Tanya did come down, wearing what Tanya called her casual clothes, a loose button-down shirt and a pair of loose pants with a bunch of pockets in a swirling pattern of colors, she immediately became the center of attention again. Before this, Tanya was mostly ignored by the older students, but killing a troll did a lot for a person's popularity.

Someone asked Tanya how she managed to cut off the troll's head.

"Magic."

The same excuse she used the first night when she moved the bed and trunks so easily. They were here to learn magic and she wasn't explaining what magic she was using.

"You use that excuse all the time," Lavender yelled out. "How'd you do it?"

It couldn't be that difficult if Tanya was doing it the first night they were here.

"Emit mana at a waveform of three hundred hertz with an amplitude of five cenna within a flattened ellipsoid with a sharpen great ellipse of less than point one two millimeters in thickness with point zero zero two being a more preferable upper bound."

Lavender was not expecting such an answer and was left speechless, along with the rest of the house. None of it made any sense to her. Magic was waving a wand and saying words and getting something to happen. It wasn't whatever Tanya just spouted out. Was it?

Lavender's head hurt trying to figure out what Tanya had said and just went back to the food and talking to Parvati about things very carefully not related to their roommate before heading up to the room for bed after the food was mostly eaten and the night was dragging on.

—-

The following morning began as it always did with some yoga, blissfully lead by Parvati, before they went down to the Great Hall for breakfast. There things went a bit different with Dumbledore announcing that the corridor Tanya killed the troll was out of bounds for now, which leads to much muttering from three of the tables. Lavender knew her house was the only ones that had the story and that the gossip vines would be filled with all sorts of versions of how Tanya killed the troll with all sorts of embellishments, and hearing the different versions should prove rather delightful.

After Dumbledore's announcement, Tanya was told to see the headmaster as soon as possible. Hermione promised to bring Tanya's school supplies along to potions.

Lavender was not sure if Potions or History of Magic was her least favorite class, but both were not particularly fun. Professor Binns sucked all the life out of the room while Professor Snape seemed to just smother the joy out of the Gryffindors. The only one that seemed to still like potions in Gryffindor seemed to be Hermione. Lavender might have been tempted to put Tanya into that camp as well if she expressed any preference for anything. The closest thing Lavender got out of Tanya was that she liked clothes with pockets.

Which, is like, fine, but pockets were not the only part of fashion that was important. Colors and cuts and styles were also important to making a cute outfit.

Not that it mattered when going to class thanks to the uniform everyone wore.

Tanya arrived to Potions last, but still before Snape began the lesson.

"Ah, Ms. Degurechaff. So good of you to join us. I trust there were no other creatures that got in your way to class."

Tanya shook her head as she took the empty seat next to Hermione. "No, sir. Actually, sir, I had a question if there is still time before class."

"I suppose I can allow it."

"When are you going to announce the sign up for the theater club?"

The few muted conversations that had been going on stopped at Tanya's question as everyone turned to look at the spectacle about to unfold.

"The theater club?" Snape asked with an odd smile.

Tanya just nodded her head. "Or whatever it would be called. You are the drama teacher, right? And I have not seen anything about drama being an elective or any sign ups for a school play, so I was wondering if I might have missed the notice or if it has simply not been announced yet."

Lavender and several of the other students couldn't help but giggle at the idea of Snape being the drama teacher. Giggles that were swiftly ended by his glare.

"There is no theater or drama club currently due to a lack of interest. If you could get enough students to agree to join, I will see what I can do about setting one up, but I must ask why someone with your destructive tendencies would want to join a drama club."

"I have not attempted acting before and thought it might be enjoyable to give it a try."

"Riiight," Snape dragged the word out before sweeping his robes around him as he strolled to his chalk board and with a wave of his wand a recipe appeared on the board. "If there is no more questions, we will begin today's lesson."

Lavender had several giggle fits during the lesson as Snape moved around the classroom and she attempted to picture him on stage doing the same moves.

—-

Tanya Degurechaff

Creating a flyer and sign up sheet for students interested in joining Professor Snape's Theater Club was a rather simple affair. I did something similar on my last life on several occasions. Just clearly lay out the details with flowery language to provoke interest and get the word out to the people who would be interested. It was typically the last part that was the most difficult, but I was in a position to utilize the rapport I had cultivated with my teammates.

Fred and George Weasley were model students in practically every manner. Serious and studious enough to maintain the grades necessary to remain on the quidditch team with no issues, yet able to make others laugh with an ease that left them highly popular among the student body. They would likely be my best choice in gaining enough sign ups to allow Professor Snape the chance to put on a performance this year.

The twins were not difficult to find, the pair of them clustered together over a parchment in the Common Room, some bit of homework undoubtedly. As I approached them, they quickly put away the assignment and turned to me.

"How may we help you?" One of the twins asked.

"Yes, what does our favorite little troll crusher need from the two of us?"

So helpful right away, another model example they provided. One of them would surely become prefect, unless the teachers thought awarding it to only one of the twins unfair to the other and politely offered it to one of the other boys in their year.

"I was hoping you would help me get sign ups for theater. I am sure I am not the only one interested, but the two of you are far more popular than me and should be able to gain the ear of a larger portion of the students than I could." A bit of flattery never hurt when asking for help. The pair puffed up their chests a bit and graciously took the fliers I had and the sign up sheets to look them over.

"Well, let's see what you have," One said as they began to read. I was rather proud of what I had come up with.

'Bright lights and standing ovations,
Those with passion and glorious purpose wanted.
Voices clear and movements grand,
Everything we do, we do for the crowds.
Join us on the stage,
Sign up for the theater club today.'

"This seems pretty good."

"Why us?"

"Quite right, why not just ask a professor or prefect to put these in the other Common Rooms?"

A clear attempt at fishing for more compliments. An easy trade to make for their cooperation. "The professors and prefects would likely just post it. You two are able to actually gather a crowd to yourselves and announce it."

"And who is the professor running your little theater club?"

What a silly question. There was only one professor appropriate for the role. "Professor Snape. He is the drama teacher after all, such a shame there was too little interest and he has only been able to teach potions."

The twins looked at each other and smiled.

"Are you thinking..?"

"I believe I am."

"Shall we?"

"It would cut into our time."

"But the possibilities this opens up."

"It is rather tempting."

"I think we should."

"We shall."

The twins pulled out quills to sign on the sign up sheet just below my name already on it. So nice to see them willing to set aside time from their busy schedule to help a favored teacher.

They then put their arms around me.

"Little Troll Crusher, I think this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Indeed, my dear brother. You were already our favorite little firstie."

"Don't tell Harry. He is going to be an excellent seeker."

"But he is a bit on the boring side."

"However, feel free to tell Ron."

"He's our brother and it is our duty to mess with him."

"Just so. Now, how about you tell us more about what you expect this theater club to be like."

Being on friendly terms with the popular students was an excellent result that would help make my time at Hogwarts smoother. Very similar to getting cozy with a senior coworker in my first life or the brass in my second. I did not need to be a popular kid so long as people associate me with the popular kids.

—-

Lavender Brown

Getting ready for bed had a bit of a routine to it, just as getting up in the mornings did. Lavender and Parvati would take showers at the same time, gossiping or generally chatting freely. Lavender had gotten her parents to send scented soaps, so she no longer needed to borrow Parvati's. After the shower and drying off, the two would brush their teeth in order to avoid Hermione's lecture on the importance of proper dental care.

Tonight, the routine was interrupted by Tanya speaking up from her bed.

"Would any of you be interested in joining me in the theater club?"

Lavender bit her lip. It sounded like fun, but it was Tanya who was asking for a club headed by Professor Snape. Spending more time with Professor Snape outside of class was not high on Lavender's list of things she wanted to do and she just did not like Tanya.

If she thought about it though, Tanya was currently popular. Being on her side meant that Lavender could steal some of that popularity for herself. Getting on stage in front of the entire school had a thrill to it. There was just one thing Lavender had to know.

"Why do you want to be in theater?" Tanya was so private about everything and rarely spent much time with others outside of the group study or when she went down to quidditch practice. She did not seem like the type that would want a lot of attention on her, but here she was wanting to be a part of what should be the most social activity in the school.

"I never tried it." Tanya seemed to be looking on the distance as she answered. "I never tried acting before and I want to get away from what I have done. To actually get away from the fighting."

Lavender's grandfather was involved in the Global Wizarding War, having fought in the conflict. The way he talked about the fighting and what he did afterwards was very similar to how Tanya was talking about… her past? Lavender was missing something, but Tanya seemed to have had a violent past. How? They were all eleven and thanks to Harry everything had been peaceful.

"I'll join," Hermione volunteered, not sounding too sure about herself.

The two least social people were joining the most social club?

"I will too," Parvati said, giving Lavender a nervous look. "If nothing else, the costuming will be fun."

"Yeah, I'll look as well," Lavender decided. "You'll need a leading lady after all." A flip of the hair along with a confident smile helped hide the nervousness Lavender was feeling.

The only one who hadn't agreed yet was Lily. Lavender turned to look at the grinning loon along with the other girls.

"What about you Lily?" Hermione asked.

"I can't agree now," Lily said with a shrug. "I already put my name on the sign up sheet next to Fred's to help Tanya because she seemed to really want to do this and she has been so helpful that the least I could do was help her in return. Which means I already agreed to join when it gets started so I would have to unagree first in order to reagree now and if I unagreed that would make Tanya sad even though I was only doing it to agree at the same time everyone else was agreeing to help her."

"Thank you Lily," Tanya said. "Thank you everyone. Hopefully it will be a good experience."

Lavender nodded her head in agreement. Hopefully it would be a good experience.

—-

Minerva McGonagall

Being handed a stack of papers by the Weasley twins that did not involve an assignment she had assigned them caused Professor McGonagall to raise an eyebrow with suspicion.

"And what is this you are giving me?" She asked the pair, looking over her glasses at the two boys.

"Sign up sheets," One said.

"For Snape's Theater Club."

"One of the firsties asked us to help her get it going."

"So we found a bunch of students interested and got them to sign up."

"We even double checked to make sure we had more than enough students interested for such a club before taking the sign up sheets to you."

"As the Deputy Headmistress, you are the one with the most say in which clubs can get started."

"Other than Dumbledore of course, but as our Head of House, we could get a hold of you much easier."

"Certainly easier than finding Snape."

"So, how about you go ahead and approve that and we'll let the little firstie know her club is started."

"And which first year did you day asked you for help?" McGonagall continued to look at the pair suspiciously.

"Tanya."

"Just came up to us with the forms drawn up."

"Even had her name right at the top."

McGonagall carefully looked through the papers before nodding. "Everything appears to be in order. I will let Professor Snape know his club can begin its meetings. Now you two, go run along. And do stay out of trouble, please."

""Us? Trouble? Never,"" both twins said at the same time before heading off. As they walked away, behind their backs, McGonagall allowed a smile to appear. She then moved swiftly through the corridors of the castle down to the dungeons where she found Snape working on a potion.

"I hope I am not interrupting anything," she said as she watched him work.

"Of course not," Snape drawled out as he adjusted the flame and wrote down some notes. "What can I do for you?"

"Nothing Severus. I was just stopping by to let you know that your theater club has been approved and to hand you the list of interested students."

"Did our little troll slayer go behind my back and tell you?"

"Oh no. It was the Weasley twins who informed me of this. I must say, I was not expecting you to want to start up a Theater Club."

Snape scowled. "I didn't. But she surprised me by saying I was the drama teacher."

McGonagall laughed a little. "Oh my. Is that what she thinks of you?"

"Oh very funny. Laugh it up." Snape rolled his eyes.

"I suppose she is not wrong, Severus. Although I do not think any other student would see it as dramatic. Moody, maybe." McGonagall set the papers on Snape's desk. "I do look forward to the performance."