Taming the Protagonist

Chapter 87: Trust That Isn’t Mutual

In the mansion’s courtyard, I sat on a swing, swaying gently, staring ahead, eyes unfocused, lost in thought.

A day had passed since that talk, but it felt like moments ago.

I tossed and turned at night, unable to fathom why Anselm forbade my third-tier ascension or said I didn’t need to be so strong.

The only conclusion: growing stronger would trouble Anselm.

But with my future self so powerful, couldn’t I handle any trouble easily?

If I surpassed the Emperor, what problem couldn’t I solve?

I swayed the swing glumly, cold winds barely chilling me.

I wasn’t just unsettled by Anselm’s words but frustrated, forced to restrain myself when power was within reach.

Feeling myself grow stronger was one of my few cherished joys.

From leaving Tianlu Tower to now, I never slacked—hunting in the village, fighting opponents endlessly.

Even without conscious intent, I walked a path of constant battle and growth.

But compared to my original worldline, my battles now were pitifully few.

I didn’t know why Anselm rarely tasked me, stopped me from guarding, and made me seek fights myself.

“Sigh… how will Anselm help me?”

I propped my chin, sighing mournfully.

From his words, he had a way to bypass my Spiritual Essence, letting me reach third tier and become a Contract Head.

That ring, once so exciting, suddenly lost its allure.

“Anselm, I’m trying to help you…”

I tapped the ground, swinging back and forth, murmuring sadly: “Why don’t you need me to be stronger?”

“Hitana.”

A call snapped my head up.

I saw my sister in a black dress, sheer black stockings, and high heels, watching me calmly.

“…Lina, Lina.”

I shook my head, trying to hide my unease: “What’s up? No work today?”

“Of course there’s work.” Marina tapped her heel. “Would I dress formally without it?”

“Uh… aren’t you cold?”

I eyed her exposed slender calves and ankles, jumping off the swing: “Wearing so little…”

“Miss Merry’s stockings keep me warm… sit back down, Hitana.”

Marina gestured to the swing: “What’s troubling you? Can’t tell me?”

“I’m not troubled! And don’t you have work? Go, don’t bother Anselm!”

I stopped, waving frantically as Marina approached: “Lina, I’m fine—”

“I was headed to Daliuguang Territory to check a sorcerer’s collection zone under the Grand Duke of Gray Tower.”

Marina sighed, then tilted her head with a half-smile: “But at the door, I saw a pitiful girl swinging, sighing. Guess who… my little sister!”

She reached me, gently patting my head, saying softly: “So, less urgent work can wait.”

I nuzzled her hand, touched, but tried to change the subject:

“…Not super important, so you’d ignore me if it was?”

I said, but let Marina lead me back to the swing.

“Of course.”

Marina gathered her skirt, sitting on another swing, looking at the sky casually: “Mr. Anselm’s the most important to me. Even if you're not as important, Hitana.”

“That’s not fair!”

I shook her arm, grumbling: “We should at least be equal!”

“Because Mr. Anselm always does what’s right.” Marina tapped my forehead. “But you, Hitana, aren’t like that.”

“…”

My eyes dimmed at her words.

Seeing my change, Marina didn’t ask directly but posed another:

“Hitana, you haven’t ascended to the Throne.”

“…Yeah.”

“Why? Can’t find that feeling?”

“No!” I snapped. “It’s because—”

I couldn’t continue. Tell Marina Anselm stopped me? What would she think? Would she side with him?

I didn’t want her against me either… though she might explain, Anselm said I wouldn’t accept it…

Clutching my fists, lost, I didn’t know what to say.

“Hitana.”

Amid my chaos, Marina spoke.

She gazed at the sky, voice distant: “Three years ago, what were we doing?”

“…Huh?”

I blinked, then scratched my head, thinking.

“Three years ago… we were… having a snowball fight, right?”

I answered uncertainly.

“Were you happy then, Hitana?”

“Of course I was,” I replied without thinking. “Playing with everyone was so fun.”

“But I wasn’t.”

Marina turned, gazing at my profile: “As I grew older, I became less and less happy.”

I froze.

I’d never imagined my sister saying this.

To me, Marina was always gentle and strong, tackling life’s hardships with effort and optimism, never complaining.

This was the first time Marina admitted to me that in those past days and nights, she wasn’t happy.

“Poverty, hunger, cold, oppression, exploitation… countless pains surrounded me.”

Marina looked at the sky, her swing swaying gently.

“I loved our parents, you, everyone around me.”

“But I kept wondering, when—when could I escape these pains?”

“…Lina.”

I murmured softly.

I was starting to grasp the pain she spoke of.

I often felt upset over hunger and cold, but my simple nature didn’t dwell on it.

I had things to pour my energy into—hunting wasn’t just survival; it brought me genuine joy.

I didn’t think about those things, but sensitive, clever Marina couldn’t help feeling numb and pained by our life.

“Sometimes I wonder what I’d become—marry an ordinary, honest, hardworking man, supporting each other through a still-hard, poor life?”

Letting her snowy hair fall loose, she raised a hand as if to touch the sky, whispering: “But… I wasn’t content.”

Not content.

I looked at Marina’s profile, her serious, defiant expression, feeling dazed.

So… this was my sister.

Beneath her gentle, kind exterior hid such a fiery heart.

In that future, becoming Lady Violet wasn’t just for survival.

In that dark, hopeless world, did Lina’s ambitions find a chance to bloom?

Because I understood Marina had truly changed—not forced by survival or self-preservation into evil deeds, but driven by genuine ambition and desire—I realized why the future me chose… to kill her.

I saw I’d never truly known my sister.

Just as I’d never truly known Anselm.

“I wasn’t content with living a poor, bleak life forever.”

Marina turned to me, speaking deliberately:

“I wasn’t content with struggling in a cold, barren corner, unable to see the wider, grander world.”

She touched my head: “Hitana, do you know how scared I was when Count Chishuang took us?”

“Scared of losing my dignity, my worth, my… humanity.”

My heart clenched. I wanted to say something comforting, but thinking of that future, I couldn’t speak.

In a way, I was the one who pushed that future Marina into hell.

“But thankfully… we met Mr. Anselm.”

Marina placed her hand on her heart, speaking with deep relief.

The current Marina Lansmarlos was no longer the village girl using her wits to haggle with tax collectors.

In Chishuang Territory, nobles bowed to her.

Even elsewhere, she had the standing to speak with greater extraordinaries.

Anselm’s study was open to her; she could borrow any book, enriching her knowledge nightly, broadening her horizons, stepping toward grander vistas.

All this, Anselm gave her.

“That’s why I say Mr. Anselm is the most important to me.”

Marina said: “Not just for feelings, Hitana. Because… our future lies here.”

She cupped my face, saying earnestly: “Call me pragmatic or selfish, but our future is here, with Mr. Anselm.”

“I’m not asking you to trust or rely on him blindly. I just want you to understand—when you’re lost in your path or situation, when you doubt yourself or even Mr. Anselm, ask yourself one question—”

Miss Marina looked into my eyes, saying:

“Is there a better choice in this world than following Mr. Anselm?”

“Besides our parents, is there anyone more worthy of us than him?”

She withdrew her hands, brushed her skirt, and stood with a light smile.

“Hitana, I don’t know what Mr. Anselm told you, why you haven’t ascended to the Throne, or why you’re lost.”

“I only know, unless he abandons me, I’ll never… never leave him.”

Turning back, she glanced at me, finger to her lips, winking:

“Don’t fall behind, Hitana. I… won’t wait.”

She walked into the manor with elegant ease, while I sat on the swing, dazed, until a cold breeze snapped me out.

“…What am I worrying about?”

Looking at my palm, thinking of Marina’s words, I clenched my fist, annoyed yet elated:

“What am I even worrying about!”

I was frustrated by my pointless fretting, joyful that my obstacles cleared.

As Lina said… besides Mom and Dad, was there anyone better to me than Anselm?

If I didn’t trust him, who could I trust? If not by his side, was there a better path?

Only Anselm could fight fate with me!

Thinking of our shared secret, my heart surged with passion and sweet happiness.

“Idiot!”

I pinched my cheeks, scolding myself: “Why doubt Anselm? There’ll be plenty of chances to grow stronger, and even without that Spiritual Essence—”

Regaining confidence, my eyes blazed with wildness. I crossed my arms, head high: “Will I always be less than that future me?”

As I voiced this, my soul’s beast roared excitedly, sharing my fervor. I shook my head, smug: “Not bad, me… soul ascension is recognizing myself. My core agrees!”

“Even without Spiritual Essence, I’m the best!”

I, Hitana Lansmarlos, held absolute confidence I’d surpass my fated self.

Anselm would pour everything into me. As comrades, we’d achieve unmatched greatness together.

Because Anselm surely trusted me completely.

Surely.