Chapter 89: I Could Not Stop From Loving You
“You have to do it.”
Cassadin’s quiet words shot through me like lightning.
‘I have to do it.’
It was only then that I realized what Cassadin meant.
As we had seen earlier, Damian knew our true relationship, but the nobles here did not.
Because Cassadin took the initiative before Damian could expose the truth about our relationship, the nobles would believe what they were witnessing to be the truth.
Even now.
The noblewomen all had their hands covering their mouths in surprise, their eyes wide as they stared at me and Cassadin.
“Sir Cassadin is hugging Lady Serkia!”
“Did Lady Serkia know about this? Why is she staying still?”
“Goodness gracious! How could such a thing happen? Though it is true that they are no longer family, had they not once been siblings?”
“Ahh, Sir Cassadin, my beloved…”
Countless voices of confusion echoed throughout the banquet hall.
Cassadin loved the woman who had once been his sister, the one who had accepted him into her family.
The events that unfolded today would spread across the entire empire through the mouths of those present in the banquet hall.
And those people would change their opinion on this scandal based on my reaction to Cassadin’s behavior.
If I complied with what Cassadin suggested, then the reputation he had worked so hard to build would crash to the ground.
On the other hand, my reputation would remain unscathed. In fact, I might even earn sympathy from others.
I had been generous enough to take Cassadin, who was once a slave, into my family, only to have him regard me as a woman rather than a sister.
It would be close to impossible to recover Cassadin’s reputation once it plummeted.
And there was only one reason why Cassadin would do this, regardless of the consequences.
‘Because I do not want my selfishness to hold you back.’
Right now, Cassadin is willing to sacrifice himself to protect me.
Even if that meant the Emperor might try to take back the authority he had given to Cassadin.
‘So that our relationship cannot be used as a weakness by Damian and the Emperor. He is doing this in front of all these people.’
Cassadin was trying to protect me, throwing away everything he had worked to build until now.
As if it didn’t matter what happened to him, as long as he could sacrifice himself to protect me.
Once I realized Cassadin’s intentions, an indescribable sadness washed over me.
Like he said, I had to do this.
If I did not push Cassadin away right now, then the people would alienate both of us.
It was much wiser to trick them completely than to allow it to become a weakness.
And the action Cassadin was asking me to take right now was something I had actually done to him in the past.
‘What you are doing right now, the way you are looking at me. Everything.’
Pushing away the truth that Cassadin had shown me instead of his lies.
‘But this is over the line. Confessing to me. How could you do this to me after I’ve…’
Pushing away his desperate confession.
All of them were things I had done in the past.
And they were also the same things I had to do once more.
“Right now.”
As soon as Cassadin finished speaking, I pushed his chest as hard as I could.
I quietly stared at him, worried about how hard I pushed him, and found a very faint smile on Cassadin’s face.
Finding relief in that expression, I was able to continue my act.
“Cassadin!”
I shot my eyes open and shouted at Cassadin, remembering when he had first confessed to me.
“How could you do this to me? After I had taken you in… In front of all these people!”
Several of the onlookers let out small gasps of shock.
Glancing to the side, I saw that the Crown Prince was also staring at me with a stunned expression.
“I once believed you were a trusted member of our family.”
Just as you have never considered me your family, I have also never considered you mine.
The reason I took you in as my younger brother was quite a disgusting one, I admit.
I brought you, who was standing at the edge of a cliff, to be used as my pawn.
With a bitter smile, I looked up at the man standing before me.
“To me, it doesn’t matter what your status is.”
Because I already knew who you would become in the future.
After dying at Damian’s hands, I returned to four years in the past for some reason. There, I met you, still a gladiator slave.
When our eyes first met, your eyes were shadowed with darkness. I couldn’t bear to look away when you stared up at me with that empty expression.
‘Isn’t this why you bought me here? Master, I will serve you tonight.’
How shocked I was when you said that, starting to take off your shirt without hesitation.
‘No. I’m not pure. This body has already been dirtied and used beyond repair.’
You, who treated yourself more filthily than anyone else, were actually purer than everyone else.
‘So… I wish for you to only look at me.’
So when you showed me your truthful heart, it was whiter and clearer than the first snow of winter.
‘He wanted to kill. He wanted vengeance against the empire where the bastards who destroyed our peaceful kingdom dwelled. I wished to kill, to shred their family, their relatives, and their acquaintances, so that they could feel even a fraction of the pain that I experienced.’
Who could dare understand the vengeance and the heart-wrenching suffering you underwent?
But you, you decided to give up everything you had achieved until now and choose me.
‘Sister, you are my salvation.’
When I saw how you looked up at me with such solemnity, I could no longer hold back the tears threatening to burst from my eyes.
It was because you were such a person that I…
I couldn’t stop myself from loving you.
My lover was more noble and bright than any other to have existed in this world.
Cassadin, whom I could not help but love.
‘The way that you sparkled wherever you went was a brilliant and beautiful light, more than the most beautiful jewel I’ve seen.’
I slowly walked toward Cassadin, who was within arm’s reach.
When we were close enough for our hands to touch, I stared directly into Cassadin’s eyes.
Staring into the deep purple eyes filled with an endless ocean of affection, I gently smiled at the man I loved.
“In the past, we were family.”
“……”
“But as you know, once you left our family, once you became a Marquess, we were no longer siblings.”
Just as Cassadin had shown courage, I, too, would show my courage.
Lies were prone to exposure, but not the truth.
The truth would always remain as it was.
So in the middle of this large chessboard called the palace, which the Emperor had set up, I decided to reveal my true intentions.
If they wanted a weakness, I merely needed to ensure it was no longer a weakness.
But there was just one thing that made me hesitate.
That was my father.
‘I’m sorry, Father.’
I took one long gaze at the banquet hall full of people, then smiled brightly at Cassadin.
“I love you more than anyone else in the world.”
Not expecting those words from my mouth, Cassadin’s eyes widened visibly. The way he stared at me, his lips parted slightly, almost making it seem as if he had forgotten how to blink.
And toward that Cassadin, I gave the brightest, happiest smile I could muster and gently caressed his cheeks with my two hands.
In a small voice that only Cassadin could hear, I whispered to him.
“Cassadin, I couldn’t just carelessly throw away the reputation you’ve built up all this time. I’d rather have my own reputation ruined. So please, follow my lead just this once.”
Cassadin continued to stare down at me as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His face bore a questioning expression, and his eyes widened.
The answer was already set.
In a voice loud enough for every single person in the banquet hall to hear, I confessed my true feelings.
“I love you. Not as a family or as a sibling, but as a man and a person, I love you.”
The banquet hall, which had been deathly quiet a moment ago, erupted into chaos at my declaration.
Crash!
A noble, seemingly in extreme shock, dropped his glass. It made a ringing sound as it hit the ground, scattering shattered glass and red wine carelessly over the carpeted floor.
As the glass broke, the people who had been frozen in place came out of their trance and began to speak to one another in shock.
“Wh-what did I just hear?”
“Lady Serkia just c-confessed to Sir Cassadin.”
“Have the two of them been fond of each other?”
“Since when…?”
“Though they are unrelated now, they were once siblings. This is unbelievable!”
People turned to look at me, then at Cassadin, and back at me again, their faces filled with horror.
The Crown Prince, who was also standing nearby, stared at me, his eyes wide.
“Aren, you…”
I smiled happily at the stunned Crown Prince.
Then, turning back to the people who dared to judge me and Cassadin, I shouted loud enough for my voice to echo through the banquet hall.
“Cassadin has done nothing wrong! This is all my fault.”
“…”
“The one who took Cassadin, when he was a gladiator slave, into my family was none other than me.”
I turned to Cassadin and smiled again. Unlike me, Cassadin looked back at me with a sorrowful expression.
The purest of them all, he accepted and became tamed by me even though he knew I was using him from the beginning.
“It was natural for Cassadin to develop feelings for me upon experiencing the warmth of a family. However…”
Just as you don’t want to become my weakness, I would rather die than become yours.
‘I know this might just be me being selfish.’
I glanced at Cassadin’s silver hair and, below it, at his eyes, which revealed his profound sorrow.
I will always remember those beautiful eyes that were no longer void of emotion.
“It is unnatural for me to love Cassadin.”
Several sighs echoed through the banquet hall following my words. The ladies who had their hopes set on Cassadin were now glaring at me with murderous intent, their lips trembling.
The noblewomen with feathered hats raised their fans to their mouths once more, murmuring about me yet again.
One of the nobles continued to cough, the wine he had consumed apparently having taken the wrong path.
The Crown Prince wore an unusual expression, one I had never seen before; his eyebrows were knitted together, and his chin quivered noticeably.
“I have never once thought of Cassadin as family, which is peculiar considering I was the one who brought him here.”
I no longer wish to be protected by you.
I would prefer to see my reputation tarnished than yours.
The Emperor can’t dispose of me anyway.
After all, I possess healing abilities that can snatch someone back from death’s doorstep.
Cassadin’s eyes trembled intensely as he watched me. He looked fragile, as though a single touch could break him.
Gazing into those eyes, I made one final declaration.
“……If you are seeking someone to blame for this incident, direct it at me. Cassadin is the victim here.”