Chapter 68: Therapy Session
Neige was sitting on the chair of Gwyn's office. He had no idea why she called him here so suddenly and came as fast as he could when he saw her message. The doctor searched around for some papers and once she found them, she handed them to Neige.
"That's the result of yesterday's quick analysis I did on you. Your heartbeat was slightly faster than average and your blood pressure was higher."
"Isn't it normal?" Neige asked nonchalantly.
"When Silva comes back from a stressful event her heart rate skyrockets, her respiration is irregular, and she even has trouble breathing at all sometimes. You were kidnapped, trapped in a nightmare, and almost died. Yet, you're calmer than Silva's calm moments."
"I didn't know it was that bad for her..."
"It's not about her, it's about you." Gwyn let out an exasperated sigh before continuing "I've always checked our new members' mental health to make sure everything was alright, except for you and the leader. I think it's time to change that." She took a notebook and a pen from her drawer and looked at Neige in his eyes, waiting for an answer from him.
"We're not going to have a therapy session..."
"Why not? Everyone went through it. Usually, I question new members, but I think those questions are still worth asking. So, how do you feel about leaving your world for the Kronos?"
"Gwyn, it was six years ago."
"It was five for me and I still remember."
Neige saw that he wasn't going to escape it. He stretched his arms and more comfortably on the chair, ready to spend a few hours here.
"I don't remember a lot about my world. Polyetta was here and we were happy. My parents and I weren't close but they were loving. Aside from that, nothing... The last memory was on this ship with Polyetta explaining that our world was no more and that it was our new home."
"That's not what I asked." Responded Gwyn "I asked how you felt, not how it was."
"I don't feel much about my world, I was just glad Polyetta was here. It's the only thing I wanted, stay with her until the end."
Gwyn noted in her book under the worried gaze of Neige before asking another question.
"Loss often leads to nightmares, have you had any?"
"Not really."
"Neige, I'm not only a doctor but I also know you for five years. Did you experience any nightmares in the last six years?"
Neige stayed silent for a moment. Gwyn stared at him until he finally answered.
"Every night."
"I see... Do you feel comfortable talking about them?"
"It's... I wake up like usual, in my home world. I see Polyetta dead on the ground and I manage to save her. Once I do that, the world crumbles on itself and the nightmare ends... It's only one of the many I have."
Gwyn noted carefully Neige's words in her notebook. She inhaled deeply while thinking about the difficult words she would say.
"Have you ever wished to die or harm yourself or close ones?"
"No." Neige answered without any hesitation "I want to help my friends, none of that would help."
"Good." Gwyn said with relief in her voice. A hand reached for a picture on her table and handed it to Neige "You remember it? It's the picture we took when Silva joined our group. She still had long hair at the time. It was only her, Kairo, you, and I at the time. The leader always stayed inside her room so it was hard spending time with her."
"Of course, I remember. It feels weird to see, everyone looked so much younger. Silva cut her hair, Kairo still was here, and you never smiled at the time."
"I still don't smile."
"I saw your smile when you saw the picture, you can't fool me." Neige handed the picture back to her with a soft smile on his face "I have a copy of it you know? Why did you show it to me."
"I did the same to Silva before, even if it obviously wasn't as effective. I just want you to know that you're not alone and that you don't have to go through whatever you're going through alone. A lot of people care for you as much as you care for them."
"I know that don't worry."
"No, you don't. You still consider everyone like your little siblings. You think it's your responsibility to help everyone by yourself. You're even worse than Silva, she knows that she should trust her friends more at least."
"Are you supposed to say that? I thought therapists had to keep everything secret."
"I'm a pharmacist, not a therapist. What I mean is that it's not your responsibility to take care of everyone, they're here for that too."
Interrupting the doctor, a knock came from the door of Gwyn's office. She closed her book and put it back in her drawer before going to open the door.
"Shiro? You wanted something?"
"I was searching for Neige, I heard he was here. I came to give his weapon back."
"We were in session, can you come later?"
"Wait." Neige stood up from his chair in a hurry, approaching his friends at the door "We'll have to continue our session later, I really want to hear what he has to say."
Gwyn was about to argue but Shiro answered before she even had the chance.
"I have no idea where you got that dagger, it's made of a metal I never saw before. It looks like steel but way stronger, I couldn't even scratch it."
"A metal never seen before? That's strange." Neige remarked while losing himself in his thoughts.
"I know. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything about it, I have no idea what it is."
"Don't worry Shiro, it's alright. So... Can I name it?" Neige asked with excitation in his eyes.
"If you want, you're not Silva so it should be alright."
Neige thought for a short moment before finally finding the name he was searching for.
"Opalium! Isn't it a cool name?"
"Opalium?" Asked Gwyn "Isn't Opal a gemstone? I don't think it has anything to do with your mysterious metal."
"But Opal is the gemstone of the Goddess." Claimed Neige with confidence.
"Since when? I never heard that before."
"It's normal, it was revealed to me in a dream." Neige smirked, thinking he was being smart while the two others seemed worried about his mental health.
"So... Let's go with Opalium. Tell me if you find more of that, I could make some incredible weapons."
"That's great, you found a metal and named it. Can we go back to our session?" Gwyn asked a bit annoyed.
"Yeah, I'm sorry to interrupt you. Also don't forget about the party that will happen soon."
Shiro left Gwyn and Neige alone. She went to sit back on her chair and took her book back after letting out a sigh.
"I forgot about this party. I guess we'll have to cut short to today's session."
"Today's session? There will be others?"
"You didn't think I'd let you go after you told me you had nightmares every night?"
"That's fair I suppose." Said Neige with disappointment, visibly regretting that he had come here.
"If you ever need anything you can come to me, I'll probably be available."
"Alright." Neige was about to leave but suddenly thought about something he had been thinking since yesterday. He figured there was still time, and asked about it "What would you do if you could live in a perfect world but I had to give up your freedom?"
"I think I should be the one asking. Why this question?"
"I don't know, I just felt a bit... Lost."
Gwyn searched in her drawers for something. She visibly couldn't find it and seemed angry about it while still looking nonchalant as usual.
"I lost the happiness pill... Anyway, I have a pill that could fix all your problems, you'll feel great, never depressed, and all around perfect. The problem is that it changed your personality so much that you're no longer yourself. you could say you killed yourself to give birth to a better you."
"Why do you have a pill like that? It sounds horrible."
"Then you have your answer. It's not so different from the perfect world you asked me."
Neige stayed silent to think about Gwyn's strange pill, maybe it was closer to Ada's goal than he first thought. In the end, he would lose himself to find peace.
"I suppose it's true but why do you have a pill like that?"
"Emely has worse than that, why don't you go annoy her?"
Gwyn and Neige both left the office before the man could learn more about it. Right outside of the office, the leader was standing there arguing with Shiro until she saw Neige.
"Neige? Is it true? Is Silva right?"
Neige had no idea what she meant. He tried his best to remember what Silva knew about him and that Polyetta didn't but had trouble finding anything relevant.
"Is it about my penis?"
"W-W-What?" The leader blushed furiously and stepped away by reflex "Why does she know anything about it?"
"I don't know, I just tried to guess."
"She told me you wanted to be the leader and was organizing a revolt."
They all looked at their leader in confusion, having no idea what she meant.
"I think she was just messing with you. Don't worry, nothing is happening."
Neige's phone vibrated. When he looked at it, it was a message from Silva asking for him to gain some time. He suddenly understood it was probably about the party and decided to help his friend.
"By the way Polyetta, can you explain the boss we fought yesterday in the game? I wasn't sure what he was exactly."
"Oh, of course! So it all started with a high school student!"
Polyetta explained in detail the game and its story, while Shiro and Gwyn both looked at Neige like they wanted to kill him. They knew that a few hours would pass before they would finally be free but it was the best idea he had to gain some time.