Chapter 24: Oneself
Silva and Ebony waited patiently waited for Ivory to wake up. A bit bored, Silva looked around the room. It was pretty messy, but one thing in particular caught her eye: a guitar lying there. The dust accumulating on it indicated that it wasn't used often.
"You know how to play that?" Asked Silva, pointing at the instrument.
"I did, a few years ago. I don't really play anymore." Ebony looked at her guitar, Silva couldn't help but notice the hint of sadness in her voice.
"Why? Didn't you enjoy it?"
"I do, but with time you just... Lose parts of yourself I suppose."
"That's dumb." Silva said, a bit disappointed. She took the instrument and handed it to the girl "You can now, why don't you play a bit?"
Ebony was a bit hesitant. She acted like it was her first time holding a guitar, looking at it from every angle. It took her a bit of time, but she managed to remember how to move and play. She played a soft melody, it wasn't her first time playing it, but it sounded a bit off. But even despite the wrong notes, Silva felt something when she played, convincing her that Ebony should play more often.
The girl stopped playing and put down the guitar with visible dissatisfaction.
"I was better before..."
Ivory: No, it was as beautiful as you.
The two girls didn't notice that Ivory was awake. Ebony blushed a bit and looked away, embarrassed.
"Really? But I lost my skill."
Ivory: It's alright, I didn't know you played guitar. It reminds me of when I played the piano.
"You played piano? I had no idea."
(Ivory nodded his head)
Ivory: I did, Alas, I stopped. My father, the king... He considered it a waste of time, but music was my only friend until I met the most splendid of all goddesses!
"But don't you miss it?" Asked Silva "You can still Love Ebony and do what made you happy before."
Ivory: Maybe... I do admit, I miss my nights accompanied by the notes of my dear melody. It's... Strange. Never have I felt that way before. My Love for you is infinite Ebony, but it's like something is missing.
"I think you're missing yourself. Is there one moment where you didn't think about Ebony?"
Ivory: Never, always she was in my thoughts!
"I think you should take a moment for yourself too. You can't depend on someone like that."
"She's right." Added Ebony "And it doesn't mean that we can't play together sometimes."
Ivory: You are right. Red-haired lady, you really are wise!
"Oh, thanks I guess." Silva wasn't sure if he said that because he forgot her name or not, but it didn't really matter either way.
"You said your piano was your only friend?" Asked Ebony "You never told me you were lonely growing up."
Ivory: I would have preferred to keep it to myself. But the wise girl made me realize that maybe the Goddess wasn't right. Love isn't almighty, we can't live only of water and Love.
"It's what the stories about the Goddess said?" Asked Silva
Ivory: Indeed. Love is the strongest feeling, that is what the Goddess thought. I remember the stories that the maids told me, I really enjoyed them.
"Maid?" Ebony was a bit surprised to hear that, and couldn't help but to question it. "Your parents weren't the ones who told those stories?"
Ivory: It wasn't, Mother died at a young age, and Father never paid much attention to me.
"I'm really sorry for that, I didn't know." Ebony suddenly started feeling sad and gently caressed the hair of her lover "Here, it's a tradition for the parents to tell the stories of the Goddess to their children. Maybe because we never had the Love of the Goddess, but here, family is important."
Ivory: Maybe it is the price to pay for it, we were gifted the blessing of the Goddess, in exchange for the Love of our family.
"It's bullshit, your family should have loved you anyway!" Ebony looked furious, even more than Ivory felt sad "I'm not going to leave you to them, you deserve to be loved properly!"
Ivory: Oh, my tender Ebony, the beauty of your eyes is equal to the beauty of your soul!
Ebony was lost in her thoughts for a moment, looking deep into Ivory's eyes. After a moment, she looked at Silva, with a determined stare.
"Silva, thank you. I realize now that I can't live without at least trying. I want to face the king, and try for our Love!"
Ivory: Indeed, I feel grateful to you! I think that my Love was only superficial, but I shall work toward it.
"I'm glad if I could help!" Silva looked outside, the rain didn't stop, but the night was almost there. She just realized that they were supposed to meet with Sepide and Neige. "Oh, I need to go back to my friends! I'll come back after!"
"Of course, you can invite them here too. You're always welcome here."
Silva bowed to thank them, and quickly left, hoping to not be late.
"You think she forgot about us?" Asked Sepide, looking around for her friend.
"She better not, I don't want to sleep under the rain."
The two friends waited for a moment until Silva arrived out of breath, visibly running for a while.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand why I'm always late."
"It's okay." Replied Neige "So, let's share everything that happened."
The two others agreed and started to share about everything that happened. Silva explained what they did with the couples, while Sepide told the story that Eve related to them. The girl with red hair looked at Sepide strangely, like she didn't understand anything.
"So you followed a weird note, and there you found a lady who told you the world was created by a little girl?"
"Yeah, it was mostly like that." Said Sepide with her usual tone.
"Don't tell me you just believe her? And how would she know that the other worlds were created by the same person? I think it's a bit too weird to believe it."
"I agree." Sepide nodded her head in agreement, she found the story hard to believe as well "But I think Neige wanted to tell us something."
"Really? What is it?"
Silva and Sepide looked at him with eyes full of expectations. Neige knew he would have to talk about it someday, but it still was difficult for him. It was a secret that he never told anybody before after all.
"You know how in the story, the Goddess wrote in her diary and the worlds came to life?"
"Yes," Answered Sepide "It's a bit weird to believe that something like that could happen."
Neige took a deep inspiration, thinking about all the ways he could announce the news. After debating with himself for a few minutes, Neige blurted out everything without thinking.
"Polyetta has that book. Like our Polyetta, our leader."
The two friends looked at each other, they weren't sure if it was a joke or if it was just something that they couldn't understand. Silva in particular tried her best to know if he was serious, but it seemed like he was.
"Like our leader has a book that can create worlds?"
"Yes, since the beginning. She can know everything that happens in every world. And if she decides so, she can rewrite their fate."
Sepide didn't understand, she couldn't believe that a book like that could exist, so imagining that their leader had the book was impossible for her.
"I don't understand, are you sure you're not mistaken?"
"A hundred percent. How do you think that Polyetta knows which worlds are in danger?"
"Wait, there's something I don't understand." Asked Silva "Why didn't we write in that damn book!? We could have changed everything without risking our lives!"
"Well it can cause problems, we promised to each other to use the book only in emergencies and to not change the past. We don't know the consequences. And besides, the book doesn't take into account the anomaly, so we can't stop her with it."
"I don't care about the anomaly!" Silva's outburst shocked both of her friends. She never seemed so mad before, it was hard to see because of the rain, but it even seemed like she was crying "You're telling me you could have changed everything? Kairo could have still been with us! Actually, we never would have needed to go on missions!"
"Silva, please calm down. I understand how you feel, it's a shock for me too." Sepide put her hand on Silva's shoulder, but the girl suddenly stepped back.
"No, you don't! Do you know what it was like? You could have stopped my world from dying! You could have stopped me!"
Silva suddenly stopped, realizing that she said something she shouldn't have.
"Stopped... You?"
Neige's words stayed in the air without an answer. It seemed like he had an idea of what she meant, but Sepide still was blissfully unaware of the situation. The sound of the rain was the only thing that could be heard, Silva looked away and tried talking with her weak voice.
"I... Didn't mean to... I swear..."
"Silva... You can tell us, we're your friends, what happened?" Sepide tried to make her open up, but Silva continued looking at the ground, with eyes as empty as the void.
"I... Don't want to remember!" Silva tried taking a pill out of her pocket, when she took the bottle with the pills in it, her hand shook so much that some of them spilled on the ground. Usually, she would try to hide it from her friends, but she couldn't. Her heart was beating so fast, her head was hurting, her body was shaking, her hearing was blurring, she couldn't handle it any longer.
"Silva? Are you okay?"
She took a deep breath and started to feel better, but she still felt bad. She considered saying everything in her heart, everything that had been troubling her. But she felt like she wasn't ready yet, that she needed more time.
"I'm... Okay. It's just... One day I'll tell you, I promise. For now, let's focus on mission."
"You're not alone Silva, whatever you're going through, we're here for you."
She wasn't sure whether she would be able to trust them with her worries, not because they weren't trustworthy, but because she felt like she shouldn't be bothering them with herself. For now, they all decided to return to Ebony's home to decide what the next step would be. On the way, no one dared to talk, staying silent and calm together.
The three friends returned to Ebony's home. They hoped that they wouldn't interrupt an intimate moment, and when they entered, they saw Ebony, waiting on the couch. She looked sleepy but woke up the moment she saw them.
"I was thinking you'd never come back, it's awfully late."
"I'm really sorry, it took some time." Silva focused but couldn't feel Ivory anywhere near "Where's the other lovebird?"
"Ivory is sleeping, I stayed awake to tell you something. We decided to see the king tomorrow, we want to try to make our love work, but also to make our world unite once more. We don't want a world where some are stealing to survive, while some are isolated from the world."
"It's wonderful! We'll come with you, and help however we can."
"Yes, but for now you must be tired, the house isn't big, but I'm sure you can find a place to sleep." Ebony yawned, clearly tired "Well I'll see you tomorrow, have a good sleep despite the thunder outside."
Ebony left toward her room, leaving the group together. Neige couldn't help but notice Silva's sudden personality shift, she acted like everything was all right.
"Silva, are you okay?" He asked worried.
"Mmh? Is it because of earlier? I'm okay don't worry, I just... Felt a bit stressed. I think it's because of my other self being here."
"Silv... Yeah, I guess it must be that." Neige still didn't seem convinced but knew this world wasn't the right place to talk about it.
"Yeah, don't worry. But geez, I'm exhausted, I'll just sleep on the floor, it's just the third time in a row, but it's fine."
"Of course, I'll stay awake a bit, I want to go for a walk. I think Sepide wants to come too."
"No, not really." Said Sepide, with her usual empty voice.
"Sepide, Neige is saying that he wants to talk to you without me here." Said Silva with a sigh.
"But why?"
"You're hopeless." Neige took her by the arm and went outside with her.
"Have fun you two!"
Once they were outside, Sepide looked at the rainy sky and asked Neige, a bit annoyed,
"I didn't want to come. I'm tired."
"I'm tired too, but you need to know about Silva."
Sepide was a bit surprised and looked at Silva through the window of the house.
"Shouldn't she be here if it's about her?"
"No, she already knows. Actually, everyone on the ship knows, it's about the day when I first found Silva..."