Suspiciously Close Siblings (Going Up)

After that, I only took a shower in a really healthy way.

Playing with each other with body wash foam,

Even though I poked and teased Gye-gyeol, who couldn't speak because he had a toothbrush in his mouth,

I didn't do anything naughty.

Because I don't feel like doing that.

After washing my body, I wiped off the water and put on the shower gown that was in the hotel.

Dry my hair, apply disposable toner and lotion.

After calming down, I looked around and there were more things than I thought.

I was in a hurry earlier, so I couldn't see anything.

When I opened the refrigerator, there was canned coffee, but I didn't want to brush my teeth before drinking, so I only took out the bottled water next to me and shared it.

After bathing, I quenched my thirst, turned on the TV in front of the bed, and turned off the lights.

Lying side by side naked and wearing only a gown, looking at each other's faces,

It felt so good.

Now for real

I feel like a lover

"Brother."

"Are you going to sleep soon?"

"Can I hug you and sleep?"

"Then why didn't you try to sleep?"

He asked for something that was obvious, so I hugged him first.

The smell of freshly dried, soft hair.

I must have used a different shampoo than usual.

It was still a nice scent.

After taking a shower, my body felt hot.

It was a room that wasn't quiet because of the TV sound,

The sound of breathing and heartbeat that could be heard directly in my ear became louder.

Without this sound,

It seems to have gotten to the point where I can't sleep comfortably.

"Brother, ⋯Thank you."

"What."

"Everything you did today. Dating me, confessing to me, ⋯that too."

"⋯ Did I just do what I wanted to you earlier?"

"Because he likes me that much. ⋯That's fine."

"⋯I won't do that well in the future. It's better to do it while matching each other. Just like the first time."

"⋯Me too."

Whispering in your arms,

The pronunciation was also a muffled voice, but

I could understand everything he was saying without making a mistake.

Because it was so easy to understand the context.

"⋯The hotel is nice. I think it's worth the money."

"Huh."

"Even if it's not very wide, well… You don't have to be wide. All I need is a bed and a shower."

"⋯Will you come back here later?"

"When the opportunity arises. Even if it's not here, there will be many other places."

"Ah, brother. Wait for a sec."

Perhaps something he wanted to do, Gye-ri turned on the light next to his head and slipped out of bed.

After rummaging through the padding hanging on the hanger, I took my cell phone out of my pocket.

He handed it to me and came back into the blanket.

"What."

"Picture."

"⋯Photo?"

"I don't think we've ever taken a picture together. ⋯I want to take a picture. Now."

"⋯ Wouldn't that be a bit dangerous?"

"You don't have any friends to show you anyway."

"Even if there is, I won't show it."

"Then take a picture. To commemorate the first day of dating."

"It's past 12."

"⋯Brother, are you going to keep playing with words?"

"Okay. Let's take a picture."

⋯How can I hide it well?

To be honest, I also wanted to take a picture with Winter,

It has some symbolism

If you get caught, you'll be in big trouble.

The cell phone is a private area, so no one can touch it.

"How are you going to pose?"

"Uh… Just?"

"Worry about it."

"Um…"

After briefly looking at the face of Gye-ryeol, who was slightly frowning and rolling his head intently,

I picked up my phone, put the two people's faces on the screen, clicked, and immediately took a picture.

A rather satisfactory result was obtained.

"Brother? ⋯ Why don't you talk and just film it?"

"Look. The photos came out great."

"⋯."

"Anyway, it's even more awkward if you forcefully make facial expressions in order to film properly. It's better to shoot naturally."

"⋯Send it to me later. Picture."

"Don't be heard. Because it is really dangerous."

"I am not stupid either. I'll keep it well hidden."

After turning off the camera and sending the picture to Winter's cellphone at home, I turned off the lights again and hugged Winter.

⋯It seems to be severe.

Hugging like this makes me feel at ease,

I feel like I can sleep soundly.

Even wild dreams,

Even the tiredness that always lingered when I woke up,

Like it wouldn't feel like it at all.

"Brother… Are you sleepy?"

"Yes."

"⋯Can I ask you one question before I go to bed?"

"⋯ What is it?"

"Brother… Why did you come to like me?"

"Didn't I ask you first?"

Obviously not giving an answer.

"I'll tell you later."

"Sometime later."

"Uh… Before the end of the year?"

"⋯You can just say it now."

"No. I'm embarrassed."

"I saw her naked and did that, but now what?"

"Anyway. If you're ashamed, you're ashamed. Even when I did that, I was very… Embarrassed."

"⋯Do you want to hear it?"

"Yes."

"⋯It's very ambiguous where to start talking."

To be honest, I'm not sure when this happened.

I didn't like it.

As a younger brother.

I came to like it.

As a person,

As a family.

It was obviously just a crush,

How did you develop these feelings?

"First of all, I never hated you."

"⋯Really?"

"No, what. Listen well. I don't even bother, but what's there to hate? I've never had a fight."

"At that time, I was just scared…"

"Of course, we weren't close friends. I just didn't think much of it. When I think about it after I grow up, I feel grateful."

"Huh."

"So I tried to take care of her often when I went to college… But every time I took care of her, the reaction was so cute."

"⋯Me?"

"I don't know about you, but in my eyes it was anyway."

Was it the year before last or the year before last?

After my college entrance exam was over, I once bought a new cell phone for Winter's birthday.

There were things I heard from my mother, and there were things I was really thankful for.

I saw a kid who was going to enter high school use an old phone, so I bought it with money I had been working part-time for a month.

I handed it over without even opening the packaging, and after receiving it with shaking hands, I asked again and again if it was okay to receive it.

The way she hid her face and awkwardly said thank you,

Honestly, it was very cute.

So after that, I deliberately took care of this and that.

I like the look of bewilderment.

"At that time, I was just cute as a younger brother. ⋯The more you do it, the more precious it becomes."

"⋯."

"After I was discharged, you depended on me a lot… He makes a lot of strange noises."

"⋯Your brother said more strange things."

"I just said what I wanted to say as an older brother, and you said all sorts of things like I love you and whatnot."

"That's… Oppa also told me to look back on what he said."

"Then the dog got goosebumps."

"⋯Why?"

"A drunk kid suddenly says so seriously, what should I do? After that, my voice trembled."

"⋯."

"Actually, if I was normal, I should have quit well there…"

"⋯."

"⋯Somehow."

By chance,

That word seems to fit the best.

I didn't think of this

I didn't want to do this

Somehow I had no choice but to do this.

It'll be fine up to this point.

To my brother,

It's okay to show possessiveness only to a certain extent.

As long as you don't cross the line, you'll be fine.

As siblings,

It's okay if we live together for the rest of our lives.

This was the result that came out after continuously putting it off one by one.

The result of not stepping on the brakes is,

It was right in front of my eyes.

When I arrived,

I don't regret it very much.

The feelings I felt for the first time

Because each one was precious.

Rather than the hurdles ahead,

Because the person in front of me was more important.

Shortsighted,

Stupid,

I know it's a kid-friendly idea.

I don't regret it though.

"Anyway, it's not cool to explain it one by one, so I'll just summarize it."

"Yes."

"It was nice that you liked me."

"⋯."

"I think I'm a bit trashy too, but I'm a person with a very strong desire for exclusivity."

"⋯That's right, brother."

"I didn't want to leave someone else who liked me, only knew me, and would do anything for me."

"⋯."

I didn't want to give

I didn't like to leave

Wanted to have

I'll try to endure it somehow

I tried not to eat

I ended up biting it off.

The taste of the marshmallow I couldn't stand,

It was so sweet.

"⋯Don't abandon me, winter. Then you can really smoke."

"Is not it. ⋯There's no way I hate you."

"It's not that I don't like it, it's not a problem, it's that I shouldn't make people who like me more than me."

"Nothing like that."

"I am worried. Since you've only ever seen a man like me, I wonder if you're doing this out of fantasy."

"⋯It's not like that."

"If you cheat on me in college, I'll lock you in my real house."

"Brother, don't do that. ⋯Then I will lock you up."

"I'm similar to you in terms of affinity, so even in Songdo, where you can play, I've been away for half a year, right? Do you have the guts to do that?"

"⋯I'm not as good as an older brother."

"Apart from your two friends, who are you?"

"⋯I can't go outside, but I can't help it. I was also a student."

"Anyway, I'm telling you to do it like now. Don't increase the number of people you know too much. Like now. Even more so for men."

"Why. I will make a lot of friends when I go to college. A girlfriend."

"⋯ I'm saying don't do it because it can be dangerous if you make too many."

"?"

"Because the more people you know, the higher the chances of getting caught."

"⋯Ah."

"Because now you can't give up. How to hide it well… Let's stay together."

"Yes."

How ugly,

Dirty,

It's a disgusting feeling, but

If we have similar feelings for each other,

Could it be unexpectedly beautiful?

While we are together,

Alone in this room,

While in quarantine,

Because there's no one to point fingers at.

Even the loud TV sound,

Because it's just someone else's story.

"⋯Sleeping soon. Sleepy."

"Yes."

"I'll turn off the TV."

"Huh. Good night, brother."

"⋯Thank you always, Winter."

"Me too. Thank you always, brother."

Erasing even the only traces of the outside,

Overlapping and sharing body temperature,

Sharing each other's breathing and tossing and turning,

Fell asleep like that

To the extent that I can't even dream

In a deep sleep,

Calmly,

Together