Surviving the Romance Fantasy

“…”

Anlim’s firm appearance was indeed a loyal servant itself.

However, she didn’t know. Hoiin and Hyeondang are also people who faithfully serve their masters, and are not the kind of people who exhaust their energy in useless fights.

However, they only spoke because they were genuinely worried about Anrim.

Of course, Anlim had no way of knowing that fact.

‘Heung… The ladies-in-waiting of the four palaces… Their honor has fallen to the bottom.’

Anlim quickly turned around and went to lead the maids of Hyeonmu Palace.

‘I also need to keep my head upright and assist Mr. Hyeonbi. You promised to come back, so you will definitely come back. All I can do is just believe and wait.’

That loyalty was truly worthy of applause.

*

“How are we now…”

“Po Hyeonbi… please get some energy…”

Tae-pyeong Seol comforted Hyeon-bi, who was pressing down on the dirt floor in the corner of the marketplace.

The time between Seol Tae-pyeong and Po Hyeon-bi passed at lightning speed.

On the first day, I visited the foot of Mt. Baeksak again.

When I met and talked with the herbalists who went there, there were many people who knew about Porryeong. This is because Po Hyeonbi was originally a child who played around at the foot of Mt. Baeksak.

When I asked them about the old woman, several people knew of its existence.

However, it was a story that he did not show his face near Baeksak Mountain, which he had recently entered, that he must have gone to another mountain to gather herbs.

‘It’s not uncommon for a herbalist you often see on a mountain road to suddenly disappear one day. Most of them quit their jobs because they are not feeling well, or go to other mountains that are said to produce better herbs.’

In short, it is a story that there is no point in looking for the old woman in Mt. Baeksak anymore.

After organizing the story, Po Hyeon-bi and Seol Tae-pyeong bought soup and rice at an inn in Jujak City and rented two rooms to spend the night.

On the second day, after hearing the eyewitness testimony, he escaped from the detached unit that attacked the inn.

Since the owner of the inn was a person who knew the law of saturation, he secretly made an escape route and dragged the time away by talking nonsense.

Thanks to that, I escaped comfortably, but for a while, I had to pursue a chase to get out of the main city, so time passed quickly.

In the end, it was only after the sun went down that the Byeoldongdae was completely evaded. The two ate soup together at a restaurant outside and went to sleep after spreading straw bales in the alley.

On the third day, he visited an assassin in the ‘Dokseonbang (毒腺方)’. Dokseonbang was the most gloomy and darkest of the many streets of the ecliptic. The security was so bad that it was a place where you would be in big trouble if you visited alone as a woman. However, since Seol Tae-pyeong was attached as an escort, there would be no major upset.

It took a long time to arrive because it was the outermost room of the imperial capital, but I was able to inquire about the old woman there.

After giving her some money, the information manager promised to find out the location of the old woman’s last sighting and told her to come back in a few days.

It was a place full of shabby private houses and abandoned wooden buildings, so the atmosphere was very sad.

The two bought soup at a small inn outside Dokseonbang and went to sleep in an abandoned building.

On the fourth day, the detached team pursued again.

While fleeing from Dokseon’s room, he ran into Han Cheon-seon, the deputy commander of the enemy palace, but Seol Tae-pyeong swung his wooden sword and subdued him.

Han Chun-seon, who was overpowered with a wooden sword close to a crude wooden sword rather than a real sword, trembled in his eyes. Seol Tae-pyeong ran away from the scene, shouting that he was sorry and that he would definitely return with Hyun-bi Po.

Afterwards, he escaped from the pursuit and climbed to the foot of Mt. Baeksak.

They set up a fire and camped out, grilled and grilled rabbits they had caught during the day, and went to sleep using a pile of leaves as a blanket.

On the fifth day, he visited the inns in Cheongryong City and asked about the old woman, but no one knew.

On the sixth day, he visited the drugstores all over the Hwangdo and asked if he knew anything about the old woman who came to sell herbs, but there was no proper harvest.

On the seventh day…

On the eighth day…

“…”

“Did it rise up into the sky, or did it go down to the ground? How could it be so hard to find someone?”

“In the first place, it is not easy to find just one person in this crowded ecliptic. However, I never thought it would be this hard.”

A state where they are sitting side by side on the market street and taking a break for a while.

Almost a month and a half have passed since I couldn’t enter Baekseon Palace. Gradually, I began to miss the faces of the Baekseon Palace family members.

“…”

“…”

“Yeah… that’s enough.”

Hyeonbi Po, who was quietly looking down at the dirt floor, spoke with difficulty.

“Po Hyeonbi?”

“You also matched me well enough to suit my personal circumstances. I have no shame in telling you to help me. And… the maids of Hyeonmu Palace will find it difficult to protect the palace without their masters anymore…”

Hyeonbi Po, who was intimidated, finally said that.

For the past month and ten days, meeting this person and that person must have relieved a lot of resentment.

It could not be helped that she could not meet the old woman, the most heavy and long-lived woman, but Po Hyeonbi could no longer ask Seol Tae-pyeong for help.

“Still, I struggled without regret, so it worked.”

“…”

“As you know, doing nothing and doing something that didn’t work are completely different. Still, with your help, I was able to struggle to do something.”

Seol Tae-pyeong was not in a good mood, seeing Hyeon-bi Po saying that in a timid state.

“Haven’t the assassins in the self-sufficient room asked for proper information yet? If you visit there today, there may be new news.”

“That’s true… but it doesn’t seem easy to get in touch with them while avoiding the detached troops anymore.”

“Please go there and try to organize your thoughts.”

If she stays still, Po Hyeon-bi will continue to search for the old woman until she is caught by the detached unit.

Once in the concubine, it would be very difficult to make use of secret informants such as assassins of self-righteous people who are stuck on the outskirts of the ecliptic, or gossips in the marketplace. How could a country’s crown princess stand still in contact with the den where such insidious people gathered?

So, once you’re outside, you’d better use whatever’s available to you.

“Since I gave away the money, I would have asked for information about something. They are experts in that field, so they may have found something.”

“The man is dead.”

“…yes?”

“So I couldn’t find it in the end.”

The informant, who had a cotton cloth wrapped around his face, spoke briefly.

Po Hyun-bi and Seol Tae-pyeong had no choice but to keep their eyes wide open and freeze.

“The old woman’s name is Nam Bo-yeon. While working on growing tea in the Anhwa region in the east of Qingdao, he lost his family and farm in a natural disaster and returned to the imperial city. It seems that he survived by picking up herbs and selling them in an old abandoned house near Baeksak Mountain… About six or seven years ago, he died after suffering greatly from a plague that circulated around the outskirts of the ecliptic. We listened to the testimony of the Qingdao military commander who removed the body.”

While talking, he handed over a few bamboo sticks. As the man said, the story of the appearance of the corpse found by the warrior at the time was written as a testimony.

“I… really…?”

“You can find out more by looking at the bamboo stick.”

Hyeonbi Po held out his trembling hand, and the information dealer placed a bamboo stick on it.

“Enough then.”

The sight of her lungs disappearing again seemed to permeate the shadows.

Po Hyeonbi stood still for a while, holding the bamboo stick with trembling hands.

Rain always falls without warning. Just like the trials you face when you live.

The two escaped to the shabby street of Dokseonbang, avoiding the dripping raindrops and sat quietly on the dirt floor under the roof of a shabby abandoned house.

Po Hyeon-bi, who was always lively and full of energy, looked at the bamboo strip given to him by the information minister, and before long, he bowed his head without a word.

I organize my thoughts, hoping that the impression that the warrior testified does not match what was in my vague memories.

However, seeing that he did not say anything, it seemed unnecessary to ask what the result of the contrast was.

“…”

– Tududuk Tuduk

The sound of raindrops hitting the eaves.

Amidst the sound of rain falling in pursuit, the girl quietly lowered her head.

Seol Tae-pyeong, who was sitting next to her, tried to pat the girl on the back a few times, but stopped, thinking that it would be better for her to just stay by her side.

I just leaned my back against the wall of the abandoned house and looked up at the sky where the rain was falling incessantly.

The girl then realizes.

The reason the old woman abandoned the girl that day was not because life was hard.

I couldn’t pass on something like a plague to a girl whose life was on the verge of death with just a fever.

There was no way that the old woman who lived a solitary life wandering the mountainside could find someone to entrust the dying girl to.

“…”

The rain that falls in pursuit hits the world.

Life is brilliant and valuable, but it can end in vain at any time.

The girl with her head down had to know that.

savagely.

Hyeonbi (3)

After that, it rained for a long time in the ecliptic.

The pouring rain continued to fall even after the sun went down and into the night, and it poured down so much that it was difficult to even leave the private room.

I roughly covered the rain with a cotton cloth, went out, stopped at a nearby inn, bought meat, rice, and clean water, and returned.

I went to Po Hyeon-bi, who was quietly hugging her knees inside the lungs, and set down her meal, brushing off the rain and talking.

“Now that we have achieved all of our goals, let’s go to the palace tomorrow when the sun rises.”

“…”

Po Hyeonbi nodded and came over and put the food in her mouth.

It felt like he was being forced into his body to live, rather than eating.

It was hard to see with my eyes open, but from my point of view, I had nothing more to say.

Sitting across from him, I was just cooking rice.

“I have no face with you.”

The only sound was the sound of raindrops hitting the ceiling.

Hyunbi Po, who quietly pushed food into his body, spoke in a calm voice.

“You ran out of the detached unit and worked so hard to fulfill my wish, but the result is just like this…”

“…”

“I was sorry that there was no harvest. If at least something meaningful had been left behind, your hard work would not have been worthless…”

“It’s not Po’s fault. And it didn’t make any sense. Did you know that the old woman was for Lady Po until the end?”

No matter how much it is, there is no comforting to overcome sadness here with overflowing energy, or not to lose your spirited appearance.

However, it cannot be left unattended.

I don’t know how to feel.

In the end, consolation has meaning only when you can sympathize with the other person.

How many people in the world would be sympathetic to the fact that they could not even fathom the pain, but only verbally said that it was okay. Po Hyeon-bi is a fast-paced person, so you will notice that soon.

After all, as long as I can’t understand what kind of emotions Po Hyeon-bi is feeling, I can’t comfort this girl.

That’s why all I can do is buy some food, serve it, eat it with you, take me to the palace when it’s bright, but…

“…You regret it.”

Hearing those words from Hyunbi Po, he flinched and shook his spoon.

“You mean out of the palace?”

At that question, Hyeonbi Po shook his head.

“When I was suffering from a fever, I thought that it would be better to die than to endure it like this.”

“…It is a phenomenon that many people suffer from fever. Since you overcame that sad urge, aren’t you alive and well?”

If it was a story about fever, I could do it too.

“The pain of a fever drives a person to death. I can’t help but feel that way.”

“…It’s not a story on that level.”

Did you step on the wrong leg?

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply.

“It was only because of the old woman that I had such bad thoughts. Handing out little food to a girl on the street who doesn’t know if she will live or die, handing out medicines… starving her own stomach…”

“…”

“I felt like I was sucking the life out of that old woman.”

“But you survived thanks to the old woman’s efforts.”

“Instead, the old woman died.”

“no. The old woman died of plague.”

“no. It’s because of me. After organizing my thoughts, it was not difficult to come to a conclusion.”

Po Hyeonbi lowered his head again and spoke.

The sound of dripping water did not sound like the sound of rain.

The tip of the motionless rice spoon trembled.

“What is the probability that an old woman who gathers herbs at the foot of a mountain will contract a plague? If I hadn’t wandered around private houses looking for medicine to save the sick child in my house, ate the child’s food to my heart’s content, and hadn’t gone out into the mountains as I always did, I wouldn’t have gotten a plague…”

“Po Hyeonbi, that’s…”

“I regret surviving with gritted teeth.”

Heat drives people to death. In order to endure to live in that pain, you need a strong mental strength to never die.

Perhaps Hyeonbi Po struggled to survive somehow.

“Actually… when the old woman left me at the foot of Mt. Baeksak… I thought it was better.”

“…”

“I was vaguely aware of it at that young age. My very existence is eating away at this old woman’s life. Caring for the poor, who have a hard time living on their own, and the sick, whose fever only rises endlessly, is like cutting off their own flesh after all.”

“…”

“There was a time when the fever went down quite a bit in the middle. At that time, I inadvertently thought of opening the door of the abandoned house and running away… I didn’t want to cut off the old woman’s life as a sick person with no hope anymore…”

“So what happened?”

“In the end, I couldn’t do that… When I opened the door and saw the wide open mountain valley, I couldn’t bear to step outside and went back to the futon and lay down…”

Po Hyeon-bi spoke while shedding tears. It was as if he was confessing a sin.

“Because I’m too afraid to die.”

Quietly putting down the bowl with a trembling body, I do not push any more food into my mouth.

The scenery that would have come into the eyes of the girl who opened the door was drawn without difficulty.

The world beyond the door is cold and harsh. It was too harsh a place for a girl who couldn’t take care of herself to live with her life attached. It was a place where it got cold at night, wild animals ran amok, and it was difficult to find even water to drink, let alone food.

“Do you regret surviving?”

“no. That’s not right. I wanted to survive. so i survived Thanks to that, I met a lot of good people. Yes, there are many people like you who help people with good intentions. But, nonetheless…”

“…”

“Nevertheless… I regret not walking out the door at that time…”

The girl Po-Ryeong survived, and her life had value. Still, the girl regretted not walking out the door that day.

In a way, it seems contradictory, but on the other hand, that psychology is understandable…

Only then… I could understand.

The boy cut down dozens of bandits when he was only a few years old. to save my sister.

Everywhere was full of blood, full of corpses with eyes full of fear.

They were evil people who needless to say every phrase, and most of them lived a life of a dead end without a family or a relationship.

However, among them there were also bandits to feed their families.

The families wept over the corpses with their limbs cut off.

He looked at me with hateful eyes. cried and shouted at me. that you killed my father

I couldn’t bear to tell them he was a wicked man. He couldn’t be fired back saying that he had done something worthy of death.

At first I didn’t even know. how much they sinned. Even if it was a sin, was it really worth dying for? I didn’t know anything. I just killed everything that caught my eye. for me to live

The image is imprinted in the memory. The eyes of my family members crying and screaming at me are engraved in my brain. Even if you wake up from sleep, or if you are sitting alone in the Baekseon Palace, memories suddenly spring up and your back trembles.

I didn’t even have to kill him. There must have been many other ways.

regret that fact.

people regret Humans were the fate of living things.

“okay….”

There were many words to comfort Hyeonbi Po, who was shedding tears.

If I put together the words that came to mind right away, I could imitate comforting her.

I looked up at the leaking ceiling for a while, then gently closed my eyes.

There was no need to regret. It was an inevitable situation.

Anyone else would have acted that way.

There is nothing wrong with Po Hyeonbi. why would that be wrong? I was just struggling to survive.

It is too much of a leap to say that the reason I got the plague in the first place was because of Mr. Po.

Even the old woman would have fallen asleep wishing Lady Po Hyeonbi happiness.

Such textbook consolations come to mind, but I couldn’t bear to open my mouth.

That wasn’t the right consolation. At least I knew that myself.

After slashing dozens of bandits, I spent the night recalling their terrified eyes and the sorrowful screams of my family over and over again… Was I really comforted by such a thin affirmation?

Was it really the consolation you gave me as if chasing that answer?

Did it mean a lot to me that someone who didn’t even know if it was okay or not, just told me that it was okay?

“I regret it a lot.”

The words came out first than I thought.

Hyeonbi Po, who was weeping, raised her head at those words and looked at me.

“I say that I have lived a life without regrets, but I am not without regrets at all.”

“…”

“There were times when the memory of the first time I killed a person still came back like a nightmare.”

“You… you have a wound.”

“It’s all healed now.”

A lung in the heavy rain.

In this situation where even the atmosphere is drooping, what hopeful story can I say?

“I just want you to know that. Originally, people regret.”

As long as life is a series of choices, people are creatures that cannot help but live with regrets.

Po Hyeon-bi, who we saw in Cheonryong Love Song, always looked up at the sky and lived with regret. Those hazy eyes made me draw my sword… but I can’t help but admit that my judgment was wrong.

Even I, who confidently say that I have lived without regrets, have this much regret in my heart.

Regret and people were inseparable. In the end, even if the regret is resolved, new regrets will eat away at the heart. Because life is a series of infinite choices.

To live with regrets is a human being.

That is the nature of human beings.