Surviving the Romance Fantasy

“… .”

“… .”

Even though you knew that, did you just leave it alone?

I was about to say that, but then I closed my mouth. Such questions must have been heard to the point where even the officials of the Internal Affairs Department had their ears prickled.

The situation has already happened, and there is no point in discussing what happened in the past.

The opponent is Queen In.

As Lady In had always shown a strong and noble appearance, no one would have thought that she would make such a sudden move.

Especially since it was the head maid’s shrine, which I was close to.

“If things continue like this, I too will be fired from my position as an internal examiner.”

“I have nothing to say. lily. please… Please punish me with the most painful punishment.”

“That’s not important right now. Finding out Lady In’s whereabouts is more important.”

I had come with my adjutants Bicheon and Cheong Jinmyeong.

Basically, it seemed right to leave the concubine, who was advocating the Geumnam area, to Hasihwa, and to order his lieutenants to search the imperial capital.

“Deputy General… No, Na-ri, my inspector, was also here.”

“I’m sorry I stayed late at night.”

“no.”

The warrior general of the enemy palace, Mirae, also rushed out as soon as he heard the news. This is because the cooperation of the commander-in-chief was essential in order to mobilize the enemy soldiers for the search operation.

Adding in the warriors brought by Mirae, there was a crowd of people even in front of the wall of this concubine.

This is an incident where the crown princess of a country disappeared. I had to come by before the sun rose.

One day, two days, three days… The longer the search, the bigger the task.

“He probably didn’t go that far. Search around the ecliptic.”

“All right. General Bu, is there any place where you can guess where Queen In is headed?”

“A place where Lady In would go… ?”

The core of the search operation is to focus on where the target might go.

However, where would the Queen Consort, who lived as a member of the Jeongseon family and spent half her life at the Jujak Palace, go to Cheongdo Palace?

If you are going to Jeongseon’s main residence, news will reach the main palace as soon as you arrive.

If it’s not your home… .

“… I have no place to go… ?”

For the queen, the Jeongseon family’s mansion and Cheongdo Palace were her home.

Even if I was thrown on the floor of the imperial capital’s market street, I couldn’t go anywhere, and I was lucky that I didn’t lose my way.

Since he rarely traveled outside the imperial capital unless it was for a ceremonial event or special business, the places he knew the geography of were probably limited.

When I think about it that way… It was as if Queen In’s life was pictured in my head.

I ran away from home, which I don’t deserve, but I still have nowhere to go.

If you imagine the figure just trudging along under the moonlight with its royal robes dangling, it is more like a soulless doll.

“Internal inspector Nari. “Do you mind?”

He asked me with an expression of uncertainty about the future.

What is okay? I didn’t ask such an awkward question.

When a major accident like this happens, I cannot avoid the crime as an internal examiner.

In a way, he may be asked to take on more responsibility than just stepping down from his position as an internal examiner.

I am one of the people who suffers the most from Ingwibi’s running away from home.

“… Okay.”

I rested my chin and thought, then opened my eyes and spoke.

“no… .”

“… ?”

“It might actually be better… … .”

“yes?”

Mirae looked at me with a confused face.

“The sealer in the active room expressed his concern. “Please find the queen.”

Inyun is a metalworker working in the active room.

He is a person from the Jeongseon faction who has not yet been included. Since she respected Lady In more than anyone else, it would have been difficult for her to remain silent in this situation.

Yeon-ri, who came with such a message, was carrying a bundle on her head.

“What is that… .”

“I brought soup from the kitchen… You have to stay up all night and search without eating… .”

“At times like this, you’re like a maid again… .”

“To begin with, I’m good at being a maid… ? Although I am a little inexperienced at cooking… .”

After receiving information about the entire situation from the main palace, I returned to the government office in the active room. This is because all of the personnel under my command have to be searched for personnel expenses.

“I don’t even have enough time to search the station, but it’s crazy to suddenly be caught up in something like this. “Eat and do it.”

Although it was late at night, there were many torches lit here and there in the active hall.

This is because his subordinates came and went, constantly posting reports about the search for royal family members.

It was truly a sight to see so many people skipping sleep and wandering around in search of the queen.

The road toward the Imperial Capital, seen from the government office in Hyeonjaengbang, was already full of soldiers carrying torches.

“Wow… I can’t believe people gathered like this in just one hour. “I’m sure your wife is an important person.”

“… .”

“If you’re deliberately hiding, it won’t be easy to find you. The ecliptic must be quite wide. No matter how many people there are, it’s going to be difficult, Taepyeong… .”

“We need to find the queen tonight and continue the search for the reverse ghost. “I can’t afford it.”

“Do not work too hard.”

After saying that, Yeonri sat down next to the work table and unfolded the bundle.

Even though he yells that he hates soup and rice, he doesn’t complain about it when it’s important.

As expected, everything becomes colored when you feed it.

I told you it was delicious.

“however… “It’s a bit odd to say this in such an urgent situation, but this is the first time in all of reincarnation that Queen In has deviated from something like this.”

“… okay? Well, if I had known in advance, I wouldn’t have been so surprised.”

“huh. Since entering this episode, things have been happening frequently that have never happened before, but this is really the first time that Queen In has wandered this far… .”

Yeonri now took the familiar stance of an experienced teaching assistant, pouring the soup broth into the bowl and quickly adding the ingredients.

“What on earth shook the heart of Queen Yin, who has a spirit of steel, so much?”

“You have to meet him in person and try it out. To do that, you have to find it first.”

“I’m not the kind of person who would do such an extraordinary thing… It was as if the entire values of my life had been shaken… .”

Yeonri said that, then sighed and quickly shook her head.

“For now, let’s eat our fill first. “If I’m going to search all night long, I need to muster up the energy.”

“okay. “Let’s eat first.”

You can’t spend a lot of time eating.

I quickly finished eating with Yeonri, grabbed my sword, and went out to lead the search force.

I couldn’t find In Gwi-bi until the next morning.

Actually, that was natural. Considering the extent of the ecliptic, there was a limit no matter how many soldiers were brought along.

So the morning came, and Emperor Unseong was very angry at the fishing meeting held early in the morning.

He shouted at his subordinates, asking what on earth he was doing when the crown princess of a country disappeared, and the law of nagging, which has been passed down through the ages, made even the lowest subordinates grit their teeth.

However, it wasn’t that easy to find.

Even though I visited every room, looked around the streets, searched for eyewitness testimonies, and searched every corner of the remote area, I could not find the whereabouts of Queen In.

What is truly questionable is that In-gwibi has nowhere to go.

Where on earth do you entrust your body and how do you live?

It is not easy for her, who has been assisted by maids all her life, to live outside the palace for several nights without any help.

Just being able to sleep in a place with a roof and walls would be a blessing in disguise, and if you went into such a place, you would have been able to find it quickly because of eyewitness testimony.

By the second day of the search, rumors had already begun to spread throughout the imperial capital about the missing queen.

The bigger this situation gets, the more difficult it will be to hide.

After not a day or two, but three days, the ability to play outside without any help will gradually become limited.

‘Have you gone outside the ecliptic?’ ?’

By the fourth day, I even began to wonder if I should expand the scope of the search beyond the ecliptic.

If the queen is seriously injured or her life is threatened, her subordinates and maids will be greeted one after another.

In order to avoid the worst-case scenario, I did my best to search for Queen In, all day long.

We continued the search systematically, scattering our deputies here and there, but it still seemed unlikely that we would be able to find it.

This methodology has clear limitations. I had to find some other way.

– ‘We need to find Queen In… !’

– ‘Do not choose any means or methods! Bring in more military officers from the enemy palace… !’

– ‘Before anything else, it is first and foremost to ensure the safety of the queen… !’

The entire palace is worried about her, and more soldiers than expected are mobilized.

In the end, the number of people who gave up their main positions and were mobilized to search for Queen Ingwi was so large that the scale of the search operation was only increasing as time went by.

“… .”

As I was sitting on the floor of my home in the active room, I gathered my thoughts by tapping the end of my sword sheath.

Where would you like to go?

How is she living in this situation where she has no contact with people outside the palace and the number of places she can trust herself to is decreasing?

What made her wander like this?

Amid all these questions, the tip of the blade was shaking endlessly.

“Taepyeong. “I received a call from the main palace.”

“What are you saying?”

“If you don’t find Queen In within three days, the palace will strip you of your position as an internal inspector and discipline you.”

“It’s a natural procedure… .”

I was unable to fulfill my duty as an internal medical examiner. That fact was clear.

Since they are punishing for a just cause, I just accept it.

Yeon-ri looked at my expression with a worried face, but I quickly put away the tip of the sword I had been touching and stood up.

“First of all, where is the time to discuss something like that? “I need to focus on finding my wife.”

“Seeing that so many people are not easily found even after searching for four days… “It might be a longer game than you think.”

“I know. First of all, we have to consider the possibility that he went outside the ecliptic. “It’s a long way, but it’s not impossible.”

While watching the evangelism of Cheongdo-guk, it was necessary to specify the location of an area where In-gwibi could go.

Such calculations were Manager Ha’s specialty.

I left a message to call the manager, Ha Ji-hwa, and headed to the backyard to gather my thoughts.

I decided to walk around the backyard and think more about where the queen might have headed.

– Hwiik.

– Grumble.

That was when I opened the door to the backyard and trudged out onto the dirt floor.

“… .”

“… .”

There, a female queen who looked like a drowned rat was sitting there, leaning against the foot of the fence.

He is hugging his knees, burying his head and not moving at all.

“In ear… .”

I was about to say something, but I swallowed my voice.

– ‘I personally came to the active room under my father’s instructions.’

Yes. There are degrees of darkness under the lamp.

Queen Yin barely knows the environment outside of Cheongdo Palace. This is because after taking the position of royal concubine, she rarely went out.

However, I have only been away once… During the last active room development project, he came to persuade me once under the order of In Seon-rok.

First of all, it’s time to be shocked and make a fuss about whether you’re okay.

However, as I looked at Queen Ingwi’s facial features, my head suddenly became cold.

Her hair, which was as shiny as silk, was covered in dust, and her pretty and elegant palace clothes were also stained with dirt.

It seemed like he was wandering through mud, forests, and even riversides to avoid the soldiers’ search.

After holding on and holding on like that, I couldn’t hold on at all, so the best place I came to was the backyard of the deputy general’s house in the active room.

“… .”

– Grumble

I opened the back door again and went in, grabbing some tea utensils from the kitchen.

They brought out some cheap tea that would not suit the queen’s tastes, and drank two cups without even observing the basic tea ceremony.

Then he went to the backyard again and set down the steaming tea in front of Queen In, who was hugging her knees and putting her head down.

“I’m not sure if it will fit in my mouth.”

“… .”

Ingwibi, who had her head buried in her knees, was still unresponsive.

I plopped down next to the queen, who was still there, took a sip of my tea, and set it down on the dirt floor.

Drinking tea with the Queen Mother was always held only in the magnificent tea room of the Suzaku Palace.

It was a very strange feeling to be touching tea cups with the owner of Suzaku Palace in front of the fence of this dusty backyard.

Still, after catching my breath again, I looked up at the sky for a moment and said.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“… There are so many people who have been harmed because of me. I feel so guilty… .”

“… .”

That was the first thing that came out.

On the contrary, she seemed like a human being, so I felt a little reassured.

“When you live, you have to deviate at least once.”

Asking about every detail of the situation is an insensitive act.

I just looked up at the clear sky and said.

“It’s not good to live too hard.”

The story of life was originally like that.

Surviving on Ropan Episode 135

Reverse Return Search (5)

Queen In went out of the palace and walked.

Traveling down paths you haven’t taken before, looking at scenery you don’t normally see… I just continued my empty steps.

I walked through the back alleys of the capital, climbed a mountain, and walked through a slum.

When the soldiers began to search the imperial capital to find Queen In, he ran away, and when he could not go to the imperial capital, he wandered around the foot of Baeksaksan Mountain.

As he was a person who had honed his martial arts skills, there was almost no threat to his life even if he held only a ceremonial sword.

Although I encountered wild animals a few times, I was able to cut them down without difficulty, and I was also able to get a few herbs and vegetables from a blind old woman in a shabby house.

It was possible to survive like that for a few days, but Queen In, who had lived in the palace all her life, could not maintain such a life for a long time.

* * *

After wandering so aimlessly, I finally reached the right place… It was the home of the deputy general in the active room, a place I had only been to once.

“I lived my life thinking I was walking the right path.”

Even though she brought out the tea herself, she never touched the teacup.

The steam rising through the early winter chill was slowly fading away.

“However, when I realized how childish my sense of justice was, everything became meaningless.”

Yes.

It may be that Queen In just wanted to show someone her weak side.

As the owner of Jujak Palace and as Gyusu of the Jeongseon family.

Since he was born with a destiny to always live as an example to everyone, he would not have been able to reveal the human emotions behind it to anyone.

“It wasn’t like this before… Although I sometimes felt like I was falling behind, I never once doubted that my path was wrong. Ever since I was young.”

Suzaku with its wings neatly folded.

Queen Ingwi, who was full of such evaluations, said these words in a timid voice with her head buried.

The girl will think.

Born as a beloved member of the Jeongseon family, he lived a life of working harder at mathematics than anyone else.

Those childhood days when I was proud of the poetry, calligraphy and painting I learned that day, held in the arms of my uncle, In Chang-seok, who was the deputy general of the pre-war era.

However, sadly, time passes and times change.

The child who was smiling innocently while drawing the plum blossoms in the yard suddenly had a golden hairpin hanging on the back of her head, and the girl, who was eagerly chasing after the adults, was followed by numerous servants and maids.

Is your mind full of happy memories from your childhood?

The political scene at Cheongdo Palace unfolding before our eyes is becoming more complicated by the day.

The unfolding future is nothing but anxiety.

– ‘Originally, I miss the past, the present is dizzy, and the future is scary.’

The words that Elder Baekseon left before he left touched my heart.

“Are you lost?”

“I’m not even sure if it’s on the road in the first place.”

“Is that so… .”

I was thinking about saying something here, but after thinking about Queen In’s life, I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut again.

It is Hwayongseolga’s Seol Imun that killed her uncle In Chang-seok, who was her spiritual support.

Wasn’t it true that her memories of In Chang-seok, the deputy general of the pre-war era, were the driving force of her life?

However, the person sitting now as Deputy General is the son of the enemy who killed his uncle at the time, and he is not as dependable or mature as his uncle.

She may have already emotionally forgiven me, but even so, I cannot discuss life in front of her as she is no different from my uncle In Chang-seok’s enemy.

I, as well as the royal family, probably know this well enough.

That’s why I slowly closed my eyes.

“From my perspective, it seems like a great injustice to comment on Lady In’s suffering. so that… All I can do is give Lady Yin enough time to think.”

I left my seat and stood up.

The entire imperial palace is in an uproar trying to find Lady In, and as the person in charge of the search, I am in a position of command.

As a military officer, he had to persuade Queen In to take him to Cheongdo Palace.

However, I decided to pretend not to see In Guifei here.

“As someone from Hwayongseolga, I should only be here to heal Lady In’s wounds. So I’ll just go into it now. “When you have fully calmed down, please come back to Cheongdo Palace.”

I hope you find your way and continue your journey of life.

Giving that blessing was the most positive encouragement I could give.

Even though he is in a more difficult position than anyone else if he does not immediately find and take In Gwibi, he is determined to pretend not to know her.

With that in mind, I thought about leaving quietly.

“… Okay.”

However, In Gwibi stopped it.

When I looked back, trembling, I saw that Queen In was still in front of the fence, hugging her knees and burying her head.

There was not even a single movement in his body, which was completely destroyed, but the low-pitched voice was clearly audible.

“… “Actually, I came to see you.”

“yes?”

“… It’s okay if you don’t say anything, just stay by my side for a while… .”

And In Gwi-bi added,

“To you… There is something I want to confess… It’s something I’ve had in my heart for a long time, so I definitely want to confess it now… .”

After hearing those words and taking a moment to gather my thoughts, a chill suddenly ran down my spine.

… no way.

“… .”

This unfamiliar feeling of the blade of death looming before me.

How long has this been… .

It is said that the time when a woman’s heart is most shaken is when she is wounded and wandering.

I had no choice but to swallow my dry saliva.

“You probably knew very well that Jeongseon-in is not a very clean place.”

“… .”

“I have also been feeling it intuitively for some time. No matter how much you advocate for your cause, if you want to survive in this Cheongdo palace, you have to wear hypocrisy like armor.”

Queen In continued speaking with difficulty, as if revealing the deep wound she had harbored in her heart for a long time.

“However, I have lived my life without any doubt that I was walking the right path… I resented you. A descendant of Seol I-moon, who killed his uncle In Chang-seok. You are my enemy and my mortal enemy… “There was a time when I thought that way.”

“It’s such an old story. “Your Majesty.”

“okay. I know now. “You, warrior Seol, are more noble and upright than any of the warriors I have ever seen.”

Queen In, who said that and raised her head, was shedding tears.

I was so filled with a sense of discomfort at that sight… It was to the point where I had doubts as to whether this person was really Queen In.

The noble and sublime appearance that comes to mind when you think of Queen Ingwi is gone, and she is shedding tears as a girl of that age.

Yes.

Queen In, who was wandering around the world, did not want anyone to see such a pitiful appearance.

“Your Majesty… ?”

“If it were you, not me, who should hold the grudge… .”

Was the shedding of tears an expression of guilt?

When I heard that, I shook my head.

“Ah, no, Lady In. What are you saying? “I don’t have one bit of resentment towards Queen In.”

“That made me doubt my level of competence.”

“yes?”

Queen In had difficulty revealing the story that was in her heart.

“The people who caused the death of your father, Seol I-moon, were the vassals of our Jeongseon family and your father, Sangseogwan In Seon-rok.”

As if confessing a sin that had been harbored in my heart for a very long time, I spat it out with tears in my eyes.

As soon as I heard those words, I couldn’t help but flinch and tremble for a moment.

“yes… “Yes?”

“The reason why you and your sister were made to walk around the imperial capital as poor people, the reason that you became orphans and had to stand alone in this harsh world, and the reason that you had to live with the label of descendants of traitors while working at the Qingdao Palace… .”

Queen Yin pressed her face against her knees and spoke in a voice full of moisture.

“every… Jeongseon Inga was behind them all. It is our family that caused the misfortune in your life… .”

“… Dear Queen… .”

“I am… Thanks to those people, she was given this position as a royal concubine. That is… This is the confession that I have been keeping buried in my heart without being able to say it for so long… .”

Once she brushed it off, Queen Ingwi’s confession continued as if a torrent of water was pouring out.

“However, I have already lived my whole life devoted to the Jeongseon clan, and now I cannot distance myself from the Jeongseon clan. I have already received too much to pretend to be clean and criticize them, and that may be hypocrisy. Do you think so… I am… I don’t know what to do… .”

“… .”

“I won’t tell you to forgive me… just… Just blame me… A great man who forgave him despite the death of his uncle In Chang-seok… Don’t remember me like that… me… The treacherous bastards who put him in misfortune have become his cherished treasure… picture… Wouldn’t it make sense to think like that? .”

“Your Majesty… that… .”

“You have the right to resent me. Cherishing me in this way… That doesn’t make sense. Even if the world forgives me, I cannot understand it, at least not to myself.”

“… .”

The sudden confession almost took my breath away for a moment.

‘The person who killed Seol I-moon, the head of the Hwayong Seolga family, was Sangseogwan In Seon-rok, the head of the Jeongseon Inga family.’

this is… Even I, who had a passing knowledge of the contents of Heavenly Dragon Love Story, was hearing this for the first time.

Was this a story that would only be revealed in the latter half of the story in the first place? Or was it something that was not revealed even within the Heavenly Dragon Love Story?

You can’t tell those things apart. However, for Queen In to say something like that, there is a high probability that there was some clear basis.

I had an intuition that that single line of information given by Queen In could be the beginning of a big, ridiculous truth.

Nonetheless, numerous questions swirl through my mind.

How did Sangseogwan In Seon-rok kill Seol I-moon?

Well, even if it was some kind of political trick… What on earth does that have to do with Seol Yi-moon’s rebellion?

Amidst all the unanswered questions, a refreshing feeling of relief passed through my mind.

Yes.

Queen In said there was something she wanted to confess… I was very nervous, but… Contrary to expectations, it was just a kind of confession.

“W-was it something like that? Phew… I… again… .”

“… what?”

“Oh, no… “He said he had something he wanted to confess, so I wondered if there was something else important.”

“Oh, no… .”

Gwibi In was even more embarrassed by my reaction.

“I-I…” I am confessing that it is our family that brought misery into your life. Didn’t you understand the meaning? ?”

“That’s it. Isn’t the original life Saeongjima? “If you try to find the reasons for your unhappiness and happiness, you will get so tired that you will not be able to live.”

“W-what did you mean… It wasn’t anyone else who killed your father… .”

“That is sad.”

To be honest, my impression of the head of the family, Seol Yi-moon, was nothing more or less than that of an ‘old-time person.’

This is because he is a person with whom I have never interacted since coming to this world.

Although he is biologically the father… To me, he was more meaningful as a character in Heavenly Dragon Love Story.

That’s why I don’t go out of my way to blame or get angry at Queen In.

In a way, it was natural.

“The wounds have already healed a long time ago. “If I were to dwell on past wounds and end up ruining my relationship with Lady In, wouldn’t that be a greater loss in my life?”

“Seol, seol unmanned… You… .”

“So don’t deny yourself life by getting stuck in meaningless guilt. Lady In’s life is valuable.”

Anyway, there was only one thing I could say.

“Your Majesty. Before Queen In was a member of the Jeongseon In family… In the first place, it was just one person named In Ha-yeon. “I know very well how strong and noble he is.”

– ‘Not all people from the Jeongseon clan have the same size of bowl. Because background does not completely represent a person, a person must be judged on his own terms.’

I have already sent such a message to the crown prince.

Queen In is probably not a fool, and she knows very well that I am not a person who speaks twice.

In the first place, wasn’t I someone who lived my whole life being discriminated against because I came from a school of pragmatic theory?

How could such a person judge and discriminate against others based on the family name they wear on their backs?

Jeongseon Inga is Jeongseon Inga, and Inha-yeon is Inha-yeon.

A family and a person are inseparable, but nevertheless, the true nature of a person can only be seen when seen as a person.

A person’s background cannot completely represent a person.

“Don’t you know this well, Lady In?”

How could I, who held my head high and said such things in front of the crown prince of a country, not say the same thing in front of the queen?

As if she had realized that fact, Ingwibi opened her eyes wide.

“Well, you… .”

“In a way, I feel very disappointed for you. Do you think that until now, I have only viewed Lady In as the leader of the Jeongseon family?”

And he spoke with confidence.

“Before she was the head of the Jeongseon family, before she was the owner of the palace, before she was the crown princess of a country, she was just a human being, In Ha-yeon. “I know very well how hard that person, In Ha-yeon, has lived.”

“… .”

“So, be proud.”

Queen In’s pupils enlarged significantly.

As someone who came to confess my sins, I didn’t think I would get such an answer, so I was blank for a moment… Before long, I had tears in my eyes again.

Not long after, he buried his face again and sobbed loudly.

The sobbing was so loud and sad that it made you wonder if it was the noble queen.

If you look at it that way, In Ha-yeon always lived representing something.

Whether it is the head of the Jeongseon family, the owner of Suzaku Palace, or the most prestigious crown princess.

They are all the same person.

If the underlying human being, In Ha-yeon, holds the center, then no matter which path you take, that is the correct path.

Cheongdo Palace is filled with leading scholars. Among the numerous teachers, there was no one who could recite that one obvious fact.

I couldn’t help it.

This is because there was no one who could treat her as In Ha-yeon as a person.

When she realized that fact, the girl could only burst into tears.

A difficult life lived while holding back tears. Just as the tears she had been holding back came pouring out all at once, passion overflowed from the bottom of the girl’s heart.

I sat quietly next to him.

That was because it was the queen’s request.