Surviving marriage in yandere world

Royal Magic Academy Grand Arena.

Morning of the second tournament round.

The announcer's voice boomed across the stadium:

"Ladies and gentlemen, nobles and peasants, knights and sorcerers, terrified husbands and soon-to-be widowers—WELCOME! To today's featured match of the Royal Magic Academy Tournament!"

The crowd roared. Trumpets blared. Banners waved. Somewhere, a merchant was already selling "Team Drakana" headbands and "Saint Bride Lilia" glow-sticks.

"And now! The clash you've all been waiting for! A battle between two titans, two paragons of feminine fury, two women whose shared obsession with a single unfortunate man threatens to shatter the very foundations of our kingdom!"

Then apotlights flared.

"On one side! The fiery warrior, the blazing terror of the battlefield, the woman who once defeated an entire wyvern pack because one of them looked at her future husband funny—give it up for DRAKANA THE WAR MAIDEN!!"

The stadium shook as Drakana strode into the arena, clad in crimson-scaled armor, greatsword across her shoulder. Her hair blazed like wildfire, and behind her trailed a plume of actual smoke. She pointed her sword at me in the stands and shouted, "WATCH ME, MATE! I'LL SLAUGHTER ANY WHO THINK THEY CAN CLAIM YOU!"

The crowd cheered, several fainted, and Rei clutched his head in despair.

"And her opponent!" The announcer's voice deepened with theatrical reverence. "The radiant saint, the pious bride of destiny, the woman who once silenced a demonic horde by throwing wedding invitations at them until they cried—welcome the luminous, the virtuous, the divinely deranged—SAINT LILIA OF THE HOLY ALTAR!!"

From the opposite tunnel emerged Lilia, draped in gleaming white bridal armor trimmed with gold. A halo shimmered faintly above her head, and in her hands spun three glowing golden rings—each humming with holy power. She pressed one to her lips, kissed it reverently, and whispered, "For you, my husband."

The stadium erupted again. Students wept, nobles took notes and Priests considered early retirement.

And Rei? He prayed really hard.

[System Notification: Incoming Boss-Class Yandere Duel.]

[Warning: Trauma Imminent. Recommend immediate retreat into spectator bathroom stalls.]

[Rei: "Can't I just skip this match?"]

[System: Cowardice detected and Penalty pending.]

The referee, a trembling old mage who clearly regretted his career choices, raised his staff. "Contestants ready?"

"YES," Drakana roared.

"Yes," Lilia whispered, with a smile that promised murder wrapped in lace.

"BEGIN!"

Round One started.

Drakana immediately slammed her sword into the ground. The arena floor cracked open like an egg dropped on stone. Fire spewed forth, and from the molten pit rose a colossal dragon of flame—wings stretching across the entire coliseum, scales glowing like molten rubies.

On its wings, burning letters appeared in crimson: REI IS MINE.

The crowd gasped in awe, some screamed and one fainted into his popcorn.

"WHAT THE HELL, DRAKANA?!" I shouted, leaping from my seat. "Why is my name written on your fire dragon like graffiti?!"

She smirked, fangs glinting. "Marking my territory."

[System Commentary: You are now equivalent to a public bathroom wall.]

Meanwhile, Lilia merely folded her hands, her eyes closed in prayer. The three golden rings floating in her palms multiplied. Three became six, six became twelve, twelve became twenty-four. Soon the entire airspace above the arena glittered with radiant wedding bands, each glowing with divine sanctity.

She opened her eyes and pointed skyward. "If she marks you like property, then I shall sanctify you as my husband before all creation!"

The rings shot down like holy meteors.

KA-BOOM.

The arena became a crater.

Spectators screamed. The magical barrier around the arena flickered like it was held together by duct tape and prayers. Professors scrambled to reinforce the wards. A noble fainted so hard he fell onto his own scepter.

And Rei? This time he clutched his head and screamed into the void.

"WHY CAN'T THEY SOLVE THEIR DIFFERENCES WITH, I DON'T KNOW, A CHESS GAME?!"

[System Advice: Suggestion rejected. Yandere protocols indicate "bloodbath first, marriage second."]

Round Two is Psychological Warfare.

The dragon roared, belching fire across the battlefield. Drakana charged behind it, swinging her greatsword with enough force to split mountains. Every strike left shockwaves rattling teeth across the stadium.

Lilia met her head-on. Her rings spun like deadly halos, slicing through fire and steel with divine sharpness. She hurled one at the dragon itself. It latched onto its flaming neck like a collar.

"Be bound in holy matrimony," Lilia intoned.

The dragon, confused, stumbled as the ring tightened around its throat.

Drakana snarled. "How dare you try to marry my dragon! That beast already belongs to me!"

"Then you know how it feels," Lilia replied sweetly, sending another dozen rings crashing down.

The clash of flame and divinity blinded the stadium. By the time the dust cleared, half the arena was glassed-over lava, the other half a cathedral of glowing gold.

The referee had vanished entirely. Probably vaporized.

And the announcer, voice shaking, still tried to keep things professional:

"W-well, folks, this is certainly… cough… an unprecedented level of… ah… sportsmanship."

The audience stared at the battlefield with the collective expression of people who knew they'd need lifelong trauma counseling.

[System Notification: Side Quest Available.]

[Side Quest: Choose Which Wife Wins.]

[Reward: Survival Probability +10%.]

[Failure: You get dragged into the crater.]

Rei: "NO. I'm not picking sides again. Last time I picked and then my closet exploded."

[System: Cowardice detected. Penalty pending.]

Round Three started and suddenly escalated into madness.

Drakana, realizing brute force wasn't enough, pressed her forehead against her dragon's snout. It roared louder, flames intensifying, and then its wings reshaped—glowing with etchings.

The etchings now read: MATE-BONDED FOREVER.

"STOP BRANDING ME LIKE A FARM ANIMAL!" Rei screamed from the stands.

She winked.

Meanwhile, Lilia clasped her hands in prayer again. A golden bridal veil materialized, stretching across the arena like the sky itself. Every gust of divine wind carried the faint scent of roses and church bells. The veil shimmered, wrapping itself protectively around her.

"This is my vow, Rei," she whispered, her voice amplified by divine magic. "Till death do us part."

The crowd sobbed and the priests fainted.

And then the veil lashed out like a whip, snaring Drakana's sword.

The clash resumed: fire dragon vs holy veil, war maiden vs saint bride. Every blow shattered stone, cracked the sky, and made me reconsider the value of living.

[System Commentary: Congratulations! Your love life has escalated into an apocalyptic event.]

[Tip: When the afterlife asks what killed you, just answer "romance."]

By now, the magical barrier could barely hold. Spectators in the front rows had to be evacuated. Those remaining covered their eyes, ears, and souls.

One professor muttered, "I'm retiring after this."

A noble shouted, "Cancel the tournament! This is no longer sports—it's a theological war!"

Even the announcer cracked. "Ladies and gentlemen, I—I don't know anymore. If anyone survives, please tell my wife I love her."

Meanwhile Rei, he crouched in the stands, hugging his knees.

"I should've never reincarnated," Rei whispered. "Peace. I just wanted peace. Was that so much to ask?"

[System Response: Yes.]

Drakana leapt onto her dragon's head, greatsword blazing, ready to cleave the heavens.

Lilia floated upward, her bridal veil unfurling like angelic wings, ready to cast judgment.

Their voices overlapped, echoing across the kingdom.

"For my mate—"

"For my husband—"

And then they struck.

The explosion shook the world. The arena cratered deeper, a smoking pit where once lay polished stone. Holy light and dragonfire clashed in a cataclysm that forced the barrier to shatter entirely.

The audience screamed, scrambled, prayed.

And Rei? He passed out.

[System Notification: Trauma Level Exceeded.]

[New Title Acquired: Collateral Damage Husband.]

[Note: Congratulations! You may now apply for compensation through divine therapy. Processing time: eternity.]

When he came to, medics were dragging half-conscious spectators onto stretchers. Professors were trying to patch the barrier.

And in the crater stood two women—bloody, battered, burned—but both smiling at each other.

Not because they respected one another. 'Oh no' because they both knew they weren't done.

Lilia whispered, "This is just the beginning."

Drakana grinned, fire still smoldering in her hair. "Next round, mate will watch me win."

Rei fainted again as he collapsed face-first into the bleachers for the second time, he faintly heard the announcer's broken voice still trying to salvage his career.

"L-ladies and gentlemen… what an, ah, inspiring demonstration of… marital commitment?"

The crowd responded with the sound of hundreds of people filing lawsuits in their heads.

The medics hauling Rei off muttered among themselves.

"Why does he keep fainting?"

"Because his wives are weapons of mass destruction, that's why."

"Bet you ten gold the next round levels the capital."

[System Reminder: Hydrate. Fainting repeatedly without drinking water may result in death. Not that it matters, since your wives are trying to kill each other anyway.]

As Rei was carried away, the arena was still glowing like a divine bonfire. Smoke rose in heart-shaped plumes (thanks, Lilia), and fragments of molten stone spelled out the words "REI ♥ DRAKANA" (thanks, Drakana).

Then Rei groaned.

"No… no more. Let me drop out of the tournament. I'll live in a cave, grow mushrooms. So nobody will find me."

[System Response: Error. You are contractually obligated as "Plot Central Husband." Escape is impossible.]

Rei passed out and this was the third time.

And thus ended Day One of the War Maiden vs Saint Bride.

The audience would never forget it. Unfortunately Rei would never escape it.

To be continued…