Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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Golden hair, with a red dot embedded in blue eyes.

The traces of hard labor etched onto skin so pale it could be described as white.

The Emperor, having shed his heavy cloak, armor, and mask to reveal his identity… had a face that was strikingly familiar to me.

Platinum, the Emperor’s sword, Framea.

That adventurer was another identity of the Emperor.

“F-F-Framea?”

“So many don’t even understand the weight the name ‘Bard’ carries, thinking they just need to insert magic power to the rhythm. Not a single one brought a proper song.”

“No, that’s not the issue.”

“‘Framea’ is the name I use whenever I take on adventurer work. I’ve accumulated some experience, so they tend to just call me Platinum without much thought.”

“How can you not care?!”

“Isn’t it more of a roundabout way of thinking? Sit down. I’ll serve you some wine made ten years ago. The older stuff feels a bit precious.”

Skylar and I exchanged glances, carefully taking our seats.

I removed the suffocating mask and set it cautiously on the table.

As the Emperor noticed this, a smile crept onto his lips.

…For some reason, I thought to myself, ‘I’ve been had.’

Skylar spoke up beside me.

“We had no confirmation that we were ‘Selina’ and ‘Skylar’.”

“Right. No matter how rotten it gets, a platinum adventurer can recognize the innumerable circuits and engravings etched on that mask. However, trying to peer beyond it will just break the mask.”

“…Did you think it was rude to break someone else’s belongings?”

“For now.”

“Well, now it looks like the thief just revealed his identity due to his own misstep.”

“Isn’t the fact that ‘the Emperor of the Empire was secretly adventuring as the platinum adventurer Framea!’ more shocking, by any chance?”

“Well… that’s true.”

“Let’s consider it a shared secret.”

“After all, who would believe us if we spilled this secret? You could make us disappear without anyone knowing.”

“You’re quite astute. It’s nice to see you grasp things quickly.”

The Emperor summoned magic from his hands, moving a bottle of wine displayed far off on the shelf to our table.

…The Emperor, with a pretty face, strength, intelligence, and talent in magic. I felt a little disturbed seeing firsthand how unfair the world could be.

Some people overly negative their character creation, wanting them to look pleasant! Others just get it for free from the moment they’re born!

Emperor Eckhart naturally placed two identical bottles of wine in front of Skylar and me.

After a moment of hesitation, I found myself slightly excited at the thought of drinking alcohol after a long time, especially fine wine.

With no opener around, I slipped off the shoes I was wearing. Naturally, I was considerate enough not to place my shoes on the dining table.

I set the bottle on the floor and stuffed it into my shoe.

Adjusting it firmly against the shoe’s sole, I tapped the floor a few times to keep it level.

Pop—

With a cheerful sound, white smoke puffed from the bottle’s neck. The cork fell to the ground.

After putting my shoes back on, I brought my nose close to the bottle’s neck to take a whiff. What a delightful aroma… is that a hint of raisins? With a slight citrusy scent, as well?

It oddly reminded me of Hungarian wine I had in my previous life. There’s a wine culture in this world too…!

Having only tasted trashy, cheap liquor in taverns, this wine’s fragrance nearly had me buzzing just from thinking about it.

“…You could use a bit more education on manners.”

“Pardon?”

“No, forget it.”

The Emperor frowned and shook his head. Skylar was giving me a look of disdain.

It felt a bit unfair. What was I supposed to do about a mistake I didn’t even know I was making? If I were ‘smart me,’ I would have acted differently, but all I could think of at the moment was this.

Is there any other way to uncork a bottle besides my shoe?

‘…Should I have used a fork or a dagger?’

Skylar leaned in and quietly spoke to me, out of the Emperor’s earshot.

“…You could’ve just asked for an opener.”

“Oh.”

Right, I guess.

I felt slightly embarrassed.

There’s an easy way to diffuse this awkward atmosphere. It’s to poke fun or find fault with someone other than myself.

A pretty trashy method, but I had no intention of returning to the Adventurer’s Guild lodgings without saying anything.

“Skylar.”

“Yes?”

“You’re still underage, aren’t you?”

“Uh, wait a minute! You can’t—”

Skylar immediately shut up and glanced at Eckhart. The Emperor was intently listening to Skylar’s remark with interest.

He eventually had no choice but to remain silent.

Revealing one’s age to seem older is akin to confessing to having the power of ‘immortality.’

Even though he didn’t currently possess a body, a wizard without a body managed to manifest ‘immortality’ through magic? That’s quite an accomplishment.

In short, it was a secret that couldn’t be shared before the Emperor.

Ultimately, Skylar lost the precious wine, claimed back by the Emperor.

“It’s not something a child should be drinking. Yeah, I apologize for that.”

“Right?”

“Your behavior is just like a parent’s.”

“There’s a peculiar twist to it.”

I grinned, agreeing with the Emperor. Skylar shot me a sharp look, but I simply ignored it.

Slowly, I poured the wine, coating the rim of the glass. Then, I lifted the glass to drink.

After seeing the Emperor take the first sip, I followed suit, though it still maintained a cold temperature.

The wine was sweet from beginning to end, with flavors of grapefruit, tangerine, and raisins. The aftertaste felt resonant as it deepened inside me.

It wasn’t extremely strong, but it could hardly be labeled as absent.

Comparing it to the cheap beer sold on the first floor of the tavern and Adventurer’s Guild, it had approximately 1.5 times the alcohol content. It was better to be cautious.

However, with a flavor this sweet, it’s hard to hold back while adjusting the pace.

Now I understood why sweet-tasting liquor is called a working girl’s drink, a lady-killer.

It’s good enough that you might not realize you’re getting drunk. It goes down smoothly, looks delightful, and more than anything, it’s delicious.

“So let’s get back to the main topic.”

“…Okay?”

“You don’t think meeting under the identity of ‘Framea’ was mere coincidence, do you?”

I did think it was coincidence. Naturally.

It seemed like the Emperor had a plan when he met us. In hindsight, there were many oddities.

My alcohol-fueled brain began to spin quickly.

Bits of information I hadn’t seen before began to surface.

I kept silent, organizing the situation rationally in my mind and waiting for the Emperor to speak further.

“…”

“Selina, you reached Silver Badge status less than a month after starting your adventurer life. Even the place you registered as an adventurer was a rural town near the Singing Forest… yet you suddenly moved to the North for a promotion. That’s quite a peculiar record, isn’t it?”

“I asked a wizard for teleportation.”

“The last known location of adventurers using the names Skylar and Selina, before heading north, was a city without a wizard capable of casting teleportation.”

“Well, I can’t just sit around and watch over a rural town from the Empire, can I? A skilled wizard could’ve been wandering through the area, after all.”

“Do you think I take my Empire lightly?”

His voice deepened heavily.

The weight of the man became apparent.

She was not asking as the platinum adventurer, Framea. She wasn’t even asking as Eckhart the individual.

The air in the Grand Reception Room changed.

You are now facing the sole Emperor of the Empire—the atmosphere whispered to me. I broke into a sweat. I felt scared. But pretending to be calm… I took a deep breath.

“I don’t think lightly of it.”

“Then, do you think I’d be unaware?”

“…To sum it up, you already know we’ve contacted the Mad King, don’t you?”

“Indeed. Suddenly, a city with a population of over a thousand has vanished. There’s only one person nearby capable of pulling off such an act. And you two were the last visitors to that city.”

“Are you viewing us as the cause of the town’s disappearance?”

“No.”

“Then—”

“I believe you are the owners of the body. If my thoughts, assumptions, and deductions are mistaken, I hope you’ll clarify that now.”

Skylar swallowed nervously beside me.

Cold sweat trickled down my spine.

—A way to navigate this situation.

–

Searching for possibilities.

This feature remains unopened.

–

I pushed the still useless Status Window out of my sight and looked at the Emperor’s face.

I opened my mouth.