Sunbreak

Seven years ago:

It was warm inside the garden. Much too warm for any amount of comfort. But it was the coolest place in the family dwelling, so Darius forced himself to spin. It was warm now, but winter was only a few months away. Nothing was more important than spinning. Whatever couldn’t be used for weaving could be sold. Sentia had even been teaching him how to make Spell-Thread, though he wasn't skilled at it just yet. Above him he could hear crows cawing in the towering fir tress that dotted their neighborhood, and squirrels chasing them.

Next to Darius, Sentia was pulling a thick bat of fluffy carded wool off of two large paddles, sweat dripping off her brow. She sat stiffly on a stool, like it was hurting her. Then, he heard Irini yelling at Marcus inside, though he couldn’t make out what the argument was about. Sentia made a deep, mournful sigh.

“Don’t worry. The mistress probably found out about the paint your father bought yesterday,”

“You didn’t tell her?”

“He ordered me to keep my lips sealed, so I did,” said Sentia, her tone sour. Darius dropped the spindle, twisting his toes on the soft earthen floor of the garden, wondering why Irini would sound so furious over paint. Dad’s a painter. He needs for work, right? It can't cost so much that it's worth screaming about, can it?

“Aquamarine? AQUAMARINE!?” yelled Irini, her voice carrying through into the garden as Darius heard her moving through the house. “How foolish could you possibly be? That money was set aside to pay taxes! They’re due in three weeks!”

“I can double it after this commission is finished!”

“He’s stiffed you before! And how long will the painting take to finish? Exactly what will happen to my house-,”

“Your house-?”

“Mine! It belonged to MY family-!”

“It became mine the moment you married-!”

“It’s MY house!”

“I am you husband-!”

“Don’t you care about how this will affect-?”

“‘Don’t care? How could you say something-?”

“No, you don’t care, do you-?”

“Listen here, woman; you married me so that you could keep your father’s house-!”

“And then you spent all of our savings on fucking paint! Neglecting to even tell me!” said Irini, standing at the garden entrance, her back to Darius, Sentia, and Fabien. Sentia watched, looking a bit like a spooked deer. Irini smacked and pushed on Marcus’ chest, pushing him away. “You-! You-! You feckless coward! Out! Get out of my house!”

“It's pigment, not paint! And I’ll be back! You can’t kick me out of my own home!”

"Go! Just go!"

Irini was perfectly still for several moments, then the sound of a door opening and slamming closed echoed through the dwelling. After making a furious click with her tongue, Irini swung around and waddled forward, heavily pregnant and bursting with waves of anxious, irate energy. She looked sickly, with a gaunt and pale face.

Waving a piece of paper at Sentia. “You!”

“Yes?”

“You know how to write? And read? Who exactly-? Never mind that, just answer the question.”

“My governess, when I was a young girl. She also taught me mathematics, history, and politics. Um…” Sentia paused, gripping her right forearm. “Is it possible for you to forget that..?”

“Are you stupid? Forget what? That I found aquamarine pigment in Marcus’ studio while looking for a paintbrush? Not likely,” snapped Irini, her eyes flickering to the garden wall where the neighbors house shared a fence. She leaned heavily against the grape trellis, holding her pregnant stomach. Then, whispering under her breath she said, “If he finds out it was you who tipped me off, he’ll sell you to the millers. I can’t teach him how to spin Spell-Thread. You can.”

Relaxing, Sentia nodded, then approached Irini, “Please- you’ve been ill. You should be resting-,”

“I’ll rest later. Come with me. I need your help. I can apply for an extension, but I can’t read the fucking-,” said Irini, cutting off her sentence when she then turned to Darius, her voice shaky. “Stay here. Don’t leave the house.”

‘Don’t leave the house.’ The words felt like the only words he had heard since turning only a year ago. Darius tried not to scowl, though he wasn’t sure how successful he was at it. Everyone is upset. I want to help…

“Oh, gods,” Irini sank against the trestle he grape vines were growing on, thick and full with fruit. She clutched her stomach, holding it like she was in pain. “Did I really scream at the top of my lungs? By Asos- what about the neighbors? I’m never-,”

“Let’s go sit down-,”

“No, it’s just gas. We have to leave now. The last time I had to fill out those forms, they took ages to process. Though some of that was waiting for the fucking scribes to fill them out for me, so maybe…,” Irini grimaced as she straightened, then said softly to Darius. “Keep practicing your Spell-Thread. We might need to sell some.”

Sentia’s fingers twitched, like she was practicing notes on her flute. Then, she rubbed an ugly tattoo on her forearm, bearing the same seal Marcus often used on his paintings. Around it were sigils. Suddenly, they rotated, then glowed like red hot coals. Sentia squeezed her fist, her arms trembling like it was in pain.

If Irini noticed, she did not say. Though Darius suspected that she did not, as she was already moving back through the door, shouting orders to Sentia.

…

“Gaius?”

Gaius? That’s his other older brother, right? Darius handed Fabien several branches he was stripping for kindling, then scooted to kneel next to Emmory. The boy’s face was clammy, and he gasped in pain when he tried to sit up.

“You should lie back down,” said Darius, helping Emmory drink from their waterskin. Though he spilled nearly all the water down his tunic while clamoring for the waterskin, he drank deeply once he managed to hold onto it.

Emmory gagged, but swallowed the water, shuddering. “Did you put vinegar in that?”

“Yes,”

“I hate posca. I want wine instead,” said Emmory, turning away moodily. Shivering, he pulled his cloak tight around himself and rolled over so that his back was to the unlit fire pit and Darius.

“I don’t have wine. But the ladies Fabien was with earlier said that vinegar water would help you recover and gave me some,” said Darius, feeling slightly offended as he screwed the cap back onto his now nearly empty waterskin. Out of water, thought Darius, feeling in his satchel for their second waterskin, also empty.

“Whatever,” Emmory sniffed, then said, “Where’s Lothar?”

“Trying to find dried moonroot,” said Darius, not sure if he was supposed to say anything else. But when Emmory prompted no further conversation, Darius went back to preparing kindling.

“Fabien, can you see if Isabella and Auria have any firewood? We just need some until Lothar comes back, then I can go find some-”

“I’m not a baby. Lothar just thinks I am. But you can leave if you need to find some firewood,” Emmory snapped, trying to twist around. But he hissed in pain, then went back to lying with his back to Darius.

Did I do something to offend him? Feeling slightly hurt, Darius was about to ask just this when Lothar appeared near Isabella and Auria’s cart of fabric.

“Emmy, don’t be a fucking bitch,” said Lothar, tossing down a large bundle of wood near the fire pit. Then he scooped up some of the kindling, lighting it by striking a piece of flint with a knife.

“I’m not being a bitch,”

“Yes, you are. But I talked to the priestesses, and they gave me some willowbark and dried moonroot for you to drink in tea,”

“Sounds delicious,” muttered Emmory, in an extremely dry tone. “They can’t heal me in person?”

“They’re going to send someone over here once they have a healer available. Unfortunately there is some demand,”

“We’re Bergers,” said Emmory, sitting up to glare at Lothar. “Doesn’t that mean anything?”

“Yes, which is why someone will be coming to us- I made an extremely charitable donation to their temple,” said Lothar, sitting next to the fallen tree and pulled Emmory into his cloak. “Look, I know you’re in pain right now. But there’s more people who are hurt than they can treat. One of their priestesses is coming, but they’re running about as low on mana as you are right now.”

“Yeah…”

Silently, Lothar tossed Darius a tin cup with two small canvas cloths stuffed inside of it. One smelled like wintergreen, but the other had a pungent scent that made Darius think of old cheese. So he went to the temple like I suggested. Good… Selene’s temple has the best healers. They’ll know how to take care of Emmory.

“Do you know how to make tea with that?”

“I’ll need more water. Can you watch Fabien while I get it?”

“Yeah,”

A shadow swooped overhead, just barely visible in the thick haze of ash. It was a roc, the shadow of its wingspan gargantuan. Darius saw it land in the clearing, choking and gasping for air. It crawled on all fours, guardedly watching the humans scurrying around as they tried to avoid the creature; Darius couldn’t help but think it looked somewhat like a bat that had ventured out of its cave.

“Baby!” said the roc, making a sad clicking sound. Its head swooped up, doubling in size like a crane preparing to fish. But then she collapsed in a heap on the ground, repeating, “Baby! Where is Baby?”

“So it starts…” said Lothar, groaning.

“What starts?” said Darius, watching the roc nervously. While it was rare to hear of a roc hunting humans, it wasn’t unheard of. Just stay out of its way. They prefer fish and giant spiders, not humans.

“What, you think people are the only thing fleeing that eruption? Every animal in Chutwater and the surrounding area is, too. This place will be crawling with every animal you can imagine before long.”

“The poor thing lost their baby before the eruption,” said Auria, walking over with a thick folded blanket. “I saw her walking up and down the beach about an hour before Mt. Bantine… Well, you know. She kept bothering the traders and knocking over crates and boxes. The city guard was organizing a search party to try and calm her down when… well…”

Auria dropped the blanket in front of them. “Um, here. Selene’s temple and what’s left of Chutwater’s city guard requisitioned a huge cart of supplies that they’re passing out. I thought your brother could use another blanket,”

“Thank you,” said Lothar, surprised. “I’m very grateful,”

“Of course,” said Auria, sitting down next to Lothar. Not sure if the conversation was meant to include him, Darius grabbed their second waterskin and backed away to carry out his original task of gathering water.

“What on earth would take a roc baby?” said Lothar, to Auria, “They nest on cliffs. Not even Roc-Eaters can get to them,”

A human, maybe? Darius thought, watching the roc lying on the ground, taking shallow, wheezing gasps of air. Several city guardsmen had surrounded it, along with a few of Selene’s initiates. By now, it was barely moving. He tore his eyes away, hurrying toward the well at the edge of the clearing. It was difficult; unlike the path in the forest, there were no trees here to catch the ash. While heavy foot-traffic had worn trails in between the debris that was in some places a foot deep, Darius still found himself tripping through the ash when he had to divert around crowds and tents. Why else would it be looking for its baby in a human settlement?

“She’s dying…” said Darius, returning to Lothar. By now, Auria had left and a healthy amount of hot coals were glowing in the fire pit. He filled the tin cup with water, then set it on the coals to heat. “The roc…”

“Yeah, well, think about how bad this ash is down here. I imagine it’s worse in the air,” muttered Lothar, glancing at the giant roc.

Once the tea had finished, Lothar took it from Darius with a mildly strained smile. “Thanks,”

“No problem,” mumbled Darius, fidgeting with his spindle. He was too tired to want to do anything with it, but the alternative was allowing himself enough time to start thinking about the fact that his home and entire, save for Fabien, was gone. Mom’s gone, Dad’s gone, and now Sentia. How am I going to take care of Fabien by myself? I can get a job spinning or sewing, but what about an apartment or house? No one will sell or rent property to an omega on their own.

“Okay, Emmy, this is going to taste like dirt, but it’ll make you feel better,” said Lothar, pouring the water into a metal cup. “I’m going to drink some, too, when you’re done with it.”

Emmory choked down the tea, protesting weakly when he tasted it. “You should put some valerian root in that- it’ll taste better.”

“Well, it’ll knock you out, even without the valerian root. So just drink it, yeah?”

“Yuck,” said Fabien, wrinkling his nose. He yawned, resting his head on Darius’ shoulder. Soon, his breathing evened out, turning into soft, barely audible snores.

Didn’t Lothar say he would pay Dad to take him to Rensworth? Except, I don’t even know if I can get to Rensworth, so that’s out of the question. I can’t rely on a bargain when I can’t honor my end, thought Darius, throwing his spindle down and noticing that he was dangerously low on fiber. But he wasn't ready to sleep, and he wanted something to do with his hands, so he spun it anyways. I can untwist it, if I really need to. It would be a tedious task, but the slow monotony of untwisting and pulling apart fiber that had been badly spun seemed like a welcome task right then. By the time it was gone, Darius was tired and ready to pass out. There was a jagged edge on his thumbnail so he placed the spindle back in his satchel and anxiously chewed on it as he tried to get comfortable on the ground.

“You were right,”

“Huh?” Darius stopped chewing his fingernail, certain he had misheard Lothar.

“About the temple priestesses. You were right,”

Not sure how to respond as he rarely heard anyone tell him that he was right about something, Darius nodded politely, “Oh… It’s good you went to them,”

“Hmm… I’m glad I did, too. I wouldn't have known about the willowbark.” said Lothar, drinking deeply from his tea, and burying himself under his orange cloak. “So, what’s on your mind?”

What’s on my mind? Is he seriously asking me that? Darius stopped chewing, raising his eyebrow.

“I mean, there’s a lot of things I imagine you’re thinking about. The end of the world, for one. I just don’t want to assume which one is causing you to gnaw on your own fingernails.”

“Oh…” Annoyed, Darius tore off the rest of the jagged edge of his nail, then spat it into the fire.

“I also don’t sit well with silence.”

“It’s not exactly quiet,” said Darius, gesturing to the sea of tents around them. He could hear music and chatter, though the air around it felt tense and unpleasant. As if the sound was artificial, and made up for the sake of being anything other than misery.

“You’re quiet.”

“I like quiet, and I don’t see any reason to talk.”

“Why not?” asked Lothar, eying him curiously. “I mean, once we get to Rensworth, I imagine you’ll be coming to Berger’s Landing with Emmory and I. Shouldn’t we get to know each other?”

‘“Make him happy,”’

Marcus’ hissed word’s echoed in Darius’ memory, causing his guts to roll around inside him. Make him happy. That’s what Dad wanted. That’s what Fabien needs. And it’s better than stewing in my own head.

Stomach twisting in his gut, Darius asked, “What do you want to know?”

“What’s your favorite color?” said Lothar, yawning. “Mine’s orange.”

“Green. Or maybe blue. I have crows and bluebirds on my wall at home. …Had. Dad liked painting birds,” Darius replied, his mind thinking of the brilliant blue birds on his bedroom wall at home. Part of him thought it might also be a stupid question, but feeling oddly grateful for it just the same. Half of him had expected Lothar to ask about Irini or Marcus or Sentia.

"Crows?"

"I like crows. They're entertaining," said Darius, feeling himself smile slightly when he thought of the thousands of crows that lived in Chutwater's city limits, despite the grim surroundings. “What sort of activities do you like?”

“Feeding and brushing my horses. Sometimes. When they behave, I like it. I like riding them, too. I never feel more free than when I’m galloping across a field on Aster. The villa is big. Too big, and too far from the city. Sometimes it feels like you get trapped there, but less so on Aster. She makes me feel like I can go anywhere and do anything I want,” Lothar smiled sadly up at the black, smoky sky above them leaned over, listening to Emmory’s breathing, who seemed to have fallen back asleep. “You?”

“I like spinning,”

“Okay?”

“Well, it’s quite soothing,” said Darius, noticing that Lothar seemed unimpressed with the answer.

“What’s Berger’s Landing like?”

“Cold. Wet. But our houses are warm. My father’s villa even has heated flooring- you’ll like it there,”

“Will your father be okay with me staying there?”

“Eh… If not, I’ll make other arrangements for you.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t know how to get to Rensworth from here, and you do. Plus, you saved my little brother from whatever horrible fate that werewolf would have enacted upon him.” Lothar smiled grimly, then curled deeper into his cloak. A guilty monster in Darius’ gut churned, clawing at his insides.

“He would have done the same to me. It was self-,”

“You’re far too modest for your own good. It doesn’t suit you,” said Lothar, with a loud yawn, “Grow some balls, and take some ownership for the shit you do,”

“Okay, fine. You want to repay your debt- what does that mean for me? Your… arrangements, I mean,”

“You need an alpha, right? I mean, your dad was your alpha and now he’s-,”

“Missing,” said Darius, before Lothar could say the word he feared. ‘Dead.’

“Missing,” said Lothar, yawning again, then mumbling an apology. He stared at the fire for several moments, his eyes now red and bloodshot. Slowly, he moved from his spot by the fallen tree until he was sitting next to Darius. He wrapped their hands together and said, “I can be your alpha. You’re smart and talented. I’m smart and talented. We’d make a great team.”

Darius pulled his hand up to grasp Lothar’s hand, feeling a strange and sudden urge to move it to the back of his neck. There, at the nape, was a smooth, slightly oily patch of skin. It was a mating mark. According to tradition, whichever mate he chose to take would bite the mark, binding him to them for the rest of his life. With an alpha like Lothar, Darius imagined he would be one of at least several. Though it wasn’t the custom in Chutwater, Darius knew from Sentia that alpha’s in the Carnivorous Isles tended to have multiple mates.

If Fabien weren’t in his lap. If Emmory wasn’t barely five feet away. If there wasn’t half of an entire city camping in the field around them… While Darius didn’t want to say yes to being mated, Lothar’s hand touching his skin burned in a way that wasn’t entirely unpleasant, or unwelcome. He wanted to touch the pink skin of Lothar’s lips, and keep looking into the blue of his eyes.

Shuddering, Darius tore their hands off of the back of his shoulder- touching anywhere near that spot was indecent. And an alpha who wasn’t his mate was practically scandalous. And outside? In front of everyone? What the hell am I thinking? We barely know each other.

“I don’t need you to be my alpha,” said Darius, firmly. “Besides, I’ve only known you for a day. What on earth would lead you to propose something like that?”

Lothar nodded, then pulled his hand away. Yawning heavily, he moved back to Emmory’s side, curling up with him underneath the cloak. “Well, if you change your mind… I’d prefer if you had a beard, but that’s not really a cake I get to eat. So you’ll do,”

“You flatter me, Sir,”

Lothar’s eyes sparkled when he giggled. Then he lifted the cloak on Emmory’s side and gestured to Darius. “Get yourself and Fabien under here. We can at least keep each other warm. I learned that at camp.”

Hesitating, Darius thought it over. Truthfully, he would prefer staying on the other side of the fire, but the night’s chill was beginning to enter every part of his body, from his toes and into his chest. In his lap, he felt Fabien shiver and curl further into him. Fabien will be warmer if we group up together, and Emmory probably needs as much heat as he can get, too, thought Darius, giving in and slipping under the cloak and Auria’s blanket to sandwich Emmory and Fabien between him and Lothar.

“What if I can’t get you to Rensworth?” said Darius, unable to stop himself from confessing it. I can’t keep it secret. It would be dishonorable, not to mention dangerous for all of us… Emmory’s already hurt- if we get lost, he could die. “I must confess- I’ve never taken the Moon Grass Path alone. Dad knew, but I… I don’t know how much I remember…”

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine,” said Lothar, with a slurred mumble. “You’re not afraid to bash someone’s head in, which is always useful. And I have complete faith in your navigational abilities,”

“Why?”

But Lothar didn’t answer. When Darius lifted his head he saw that Lothar had turned away from him. Frustrated, Darius hugged Fabien tighter. He probably fell asleep, too. Whatever. Lothar’s right. I can do this. And maybe Auria and Isabella will know, too. I can verify what I remember with them. I can do this.

Darius hugged Fabien tighter. Slowly, he felt himself falling deep into sleep.