Stunned for You

Chapter 89

The light and atmosphere are relaxing, but Shiyi’s expression seems to be serious about saying something. Fu Sitian hung up, but still smiled and responded, “Okay.”

Shi Yi considered the entrance, with a gentle voice: “Stian, I will transfer my living expenses for this semester to you. From next month, we will merge our living expenses together and share our living expenses. What do you think? kind?”

Like thunder on the ground, Fu Sitian was blown up. She didn’t expect Shi Yi to talk about this at all, and a lot of thoughts flashed in her mind. When she was happy, Shi Yi had closeness and trust in her, but it was more of worry.

She bit her lip, joking naturally: “Oh no, are you afraid that I will run away with my money?”

Shi Yi made a short laughter from her nose, “Don’t be afraid.” She looked at Fu Sitian’s eyes and said, “I believe you.”

Fu Sitian stared at her, smiling slowly. She avoided Shi Yi’s eyes, lowered her eyelids and asked, “How come you suddenly have this idea?”

Shi Yi said: “It’s not all of a sudden. Isn’t it normal for a couple to share the burden of living expenses together and let one party take care of it?”

It is said that, but it is still very rare to share it during a relationship, especially during a non-cohabitation period, right?

As if seeing Fu Sitian’s hesitation, Shi Yi held her hand and let go, his tone faded: “You don’t want to, are you?”

Obviously he was upset.

Fu Sitian was anxious, and quickly grabbed her hand and said, “No, it’s not that I don’t want to.”

Shi Yi frowned, did not speak, and his complexion was a little slow.

Fu Sitian moved his lips, the words were clearly in his throat, but he couldn’t speak. Over the years, even though she was embarrassed occasionally by the tight living expenses, and even attracted some classmates or sympathy, or poor colored eyes, she never thought of hiding her lack of wealth. But I don’t know why, facing Shi Yi, such self-confession has always been extremely difficult.

Even if he didn’t say it, Shi Yi should have noticed it a long time ago.

“Shi Yi.” She asked with a dry throat, “How much do you spend on living a month?”

Shi Yi hardened her heart, pretending to be plain and answered her: “It’s not fixed, and I spend a lot of money on my mother’s secondary card. For the rest, she will save 60,000 in the card every school year and I will be at my disposal.” She still grew younger. . In fact, it is 200,000 yuan per academic year, which is regarded as her financial principal.

She knew how much this topic would embarrass Fu Sitian, and she also saw that Fu Sitian was embarrassed now. But they avoided this topic for too long, time did not naturally eliminate the problem, but made them more and more uncomfortable. Fu Sitian was under pressure both physically and mentally, but he couldn’t digest it mentally. This is not a long-term solution at all. Her reason told her that if she wanted to keep going, this question could not be avoided at all. Chen Xizhu’s prompt, she reacted afterwards.

If there is any reason that she should know after thinking about it, then this reason is probably related to her. Chen Xizhu said that Fu Sitian did not fight like this before, so from last year to this year, wasn’t the biggest change in Fu Sitian’s life that she fell in love with?

So the average is at least five thousand a month. Fu Sitian’s voice grew dry: “Shi Yi, do you know how much my monthly living expenses are?”

Shi Yi shook his head: “I don’t know.” After a pause, she added: “But, that’s not important, it doesn’t matter how much.”

Fu Sitian did not escape. Although it was difficult, she still confessed: “Shi Yi, compared with you, my cost of living is pitiful. Even if I work hard part-time, being with me…you still lose. You don’t need it at all.” Not to mention that she has to spare a part to prepare for next year’s tuition.

She didn’t have the courage to look at Shi Yi’s expression, her face was hot and embarrassing.

However, Shi Yi said, “There is no such thing as a loss, no loss.” Fu Sitianken said it, making her feel distressed and relieved at the same time. This is really the problem.

At least there is a chance to solve it if you can communicate.

Her tone eased: “Together, only if we two are enough to use this expression. If enough is enough, we will relax a little bit, if not enough, we need you to work hard and you plan more. Because sometimes I spend money and lack some Consider. We will move out and live in the future. These are unavoidable. We are together. You don’t need to tell me so clearly, and I don’t want you to care about it or disregard it.”

It is impossible to have a warm heart without a heartbeat. Fu Sitian could hear her magnanimousness and sincerity at this moment. She really didn’t think it was important, there was no pity, and she didn’t dislike herself. Most of the embarrassment subsided, Fu Sitian plucked up the courage to look at Shi Yi, who looked at her quietly, implicitly encouraging.

Fu Sitian hesitated, unwilling to live up to Shi Yi’s expectations. She tried her best to speak from the bottom of her heart: “Shi Yi, thank you for thinking that way. But, you don’t have to see me, myself…no.”

Her voice is very soft, but firm: “This is not fair to you. I don’t want to be dependent on myself. I think this is normal. I hope I can be the existence that makes your life better, rather than dragging you down. The existence of life.”

Shi Yi’s eyes softened, helplessly admiring. She admits that she likes Fu Sitian’s toughness and self-reliance, but this is not inconsistent with her wish that Si Tian can not care about herself too much. She said: “It has nothing to do with the amount of money. Regardless of whether the money is used together or not, you are already the existence that makes life better for me.”

“Si Tian, ​​are you putting too much pressure on yourself?” Shi Yi doesn’t know if it is considered arrogant, but it is indeed the truest thought in her heart: “What I can get from you is more precious than money. Many things. To me, money is actually the least important thing, at least it’s not worth the effort you are doing now.”

Fu Sitian hesitated to speak but stopped. She could understand Shi Yi’s meaning, but there was still a string that couldn’t relax. She envied Shi Yi’s confidence that “money is the least important”. She also hopes that Shi Yi can never know. When there is no money, she always lacks a sense of confidence and a sense of security.

Seeing her silence, Shi Yi frowned again, hitting the straight ball and said, “Si Tian, ​​I believe you. What about you? Do you believe me?”

Fu Sitian nodded subconsciously.

Shi Yi emphasized: “I really believe in me, not only treat me as the person I like and the object of falling in love, but also a person who is trustworthy, reliable, and wants to live together for a long time.”

Fu Sitian hesitated a little, but he nodded solemnly. Her long-term determination to be with Shi Yi has never wavered. It’s just that she is a little confused about the difference between “people I like” and “people who live together.”

Shi Yi’s voice lowered: “But you always care about me and you are always polite, sometimes it makes me think that’s not the same thing.” She looked into Fu Sitian’s eyes, her words were sharp, but her eyes were not aggressive: “I think You seem to have a transparent shell to protect yourself. Like everyone else, I have never actually walked in.”

Fu Sitian instinctively wanted to deny it, but the moment she opened her mouth, she felt dumb when she touched her gloomy but frank eyes. She asked herself, she…has always been different.

She didn’t expect Shi Yi to be so sharp.

She couldn’t say prevarication, and she didn’t want to use prevarication to perfuse Shi Yi. Perhaps the patter of rain and the dim light reduced people’s vigilance, or Shi Yi’s active frankness and weakness made her too distracted. She squeezed Shi Yi’s hand, whispered for a few seconds, and confided I heard the deepest thoughts in my heart: “Shi Yi, I’m sorry, I… I do have reservations. I… I am actually scared…” Her eyelashes were drooping, her voice faintly squeezed from her throat. Trembling: “I am afraid to trouble you a little more, ask you a little more, be a little more understood by you, you will be bored at a certain moment, and suddenly wake up, in fact, you don’t like me that much, or, I am not the one you like so much.”

She unconsciously pinched it on the sheet and pinched it tightly. In this case, she had thought that she would never be able to say it. Speaking out, I am afraid that Shiyi will look down upon her and look down upon her. The living environment from a young age made her too aware of the fickleness of the human heart and the unconscious evil in human nature. The more you know it from the bottom of your heart, the easier it is to become a sword that will stab you in the future. And relying on a person is like handing a sword with a handle that can pierce your body into the hands of the other person. The more you trust him and the greater your expectations, the more you will grind this sword. Be sharp, and one day, if these swords are pierced into the body, the deeper they will be, the more painful they will be. It’s been too long since she trusted a person wholeheartedly, and it’s been too long since she trusted a person wholeheartedly.

But Shi Yi… She clenched her fingers, Shi Yi was different. She has the right to be that different. She insisted: “So I sometimes think, if only I could always be the look you liked the first time.”

Why does she think so? Shi Yi’s heart was so painful that he opened his mouth and his voice became a little dumb: “But my mind will change. You can’t be the same.”

Fu Sitian smiled reluctantly, “I know. But a sensible and not troublesome person, even if it is unpleasant, will not be annoying, does it?”

Shi Yi’s heart seemed to be twisted. She couldn’t see Fu Sitian put herself in such a humble position. She is obviously a girl who is loved by herself on the tip of her heart.

She embraced Fu Sitian in her arms and pressed her forehead against the top of her hair tightly.

When Fu Sitian heard her, her breathing was in her ears. It was heavy, clear and audible, like the resonance of Shi Yi’s heartbeat.

“Si Tian, ​​what you really like will not change because of changes.” Shi Yi muttered.

“The definition of sensible and not troublesome is always relative. Only people who are not close can use such rigid and simple labels to judge the likes and dislikes of a person. If I like you only based on such judgments, then I am not worthy of being called your lover, not worthy of your unreserved acceptance and liking for me like this.”

Her breath splashed on Fu Sitian’s skin, very hot, like her warm words and red heart.

Fu Sitian’s heart also warmed up, but his throat became more astringent. She couldn’t help asking the question that often lingered in her heart: “Shi Yi, what do you like me?” The closer you get to Shi Yi, the more you like Shi Yi, the more she feels that she is lackluster.

Shi Yi raised his head and looked at her with deep eyes, but he asked, “Then what do you like me? If you are asked to answer with two adjectives.”

Fu Sitian frowned, and a lot of words flashed in his mind for a moment, but no two words could satisfy her completely. She was embarrassed: “Two words are not enough.”

Shi Yi asked, “How many words are enough?”

Fu Sitian counted those beautiful adjectives in his mind, and chose everything he could think of, but still felt that it was not complete. She moved her throat and realized that Shi Yi was right. Before she really got close, she could still say that she liked Shi Yi’s kindness, bravery, justice, and empathy… After getting close, she found that she could find Shi Yi’s new things all the time and make her feel. What I like very much, even some of the tempers and shortcomings, are so lively and lovely. It is not a thin adjective that can be summed up.

She said: “It’s not enough.”

Shi Yi sighed softly and gently: “Then me too.”

She didn’t quite understand why people in TV dramas and novels always liked to say sticky and shameful words when they fell in love. But now she suddenly realized something. If such verbal confession can really add a little happiness and security to Fu Sitian, then she is willing to learn to express a little more.

Moreover, these words are indeed from the heart. It’s just a bit embarrassing to say.

She said, “I can’t describe why. If you have to say it, it may be because you are you.”

Fu Sitian looked into her eyes. Shi Yi’s eyes were clear and soft, and they were also hot. Like the hot galaxy on the horizon.

“So, I am not the person you need to put on a mask to socialize. With me, you don’t need to have a label. You just need to be Fu Sitian, the most authentic and relaxed yourself.”

“Because no matter what you become, I like you. I like you.”