Chapter 118: I Don't Want To
“Your chocolate was still there.” Ren dropped the bag onto Sakura’s lap, the woman instantly hunching over to tear into it, and observed her stiff movements with a raised brow. “Have you been crying?”
“Shut up! Mind your own damn business! I don't want to talk about it!” she snapped, and her face quickly scrunched up as she looked up at the man, her eyes misty but accusing. “Where is it?”
He shrugged, deciding that pushing the sensitive subject would be more trouble than it was worth, especially when there were more entertaining matters to attend to. A wicked grin spread as he tossed the three other bags to the side of the tent and held up the colorful sack in question. “Is this what you’re looking for?”
“You know it is,” the demon growled, not liking the writing that was clearly on the wall.
The man pulled a chocolate and unwrapped it with care, stuffing it into his mouth and allowing the wrapper to flutter down onto the vixen’s lap. “Have you tried some? It’s really good.” Another one quickly followed.
Sakura sat there, seething, knowing her options were limited at the moment.
“Did you wait for me?” A third chocolate lost.
She glanced away. “I did.”
“Well, aren’t you a good, little, fox girl.” The angel crouched down in front of the demon, unwrapping a little ball of sweetness. “Waiting for your alpha mate’s return, like a good, obedient woman. The way you should. As is expected of you. I’ll allow you a small reward, but just this once.” He pushed the candy into her mouth as she glared daggers at him. “We wouldn’t want you to get spoiled, now would we?”
“I’d bite your filthy, fucking fingers off, but I don’t want to wake Ivy when you scream and bleed out,” she snarled quietly, struggling to keep her temper in check.
“I know you would,” Ren chuckled as he took the risk and fed her another one. “But that’s why I did all this. Because you’re helpless and can’t resist me. It’s a nice change for us. Enjoy it.” He dropped the sack in her lap and plopped down next to her, knowing not to antagonize her too much. Even with the sleeping girl holding the woman back, there was only so much she could take before she would inevitably snap. He looked towards the hills in the east, morning’s first light bursting beyond them. “How long do you think he’ll sleep for this time?”
“Who knows,” Sakura sighed, soothing herself with more candy before handing the bracelet back over to its owner who slipped in back on. “He slept for three days after he finally figured out how to control himself becoming a devil. After all… that… who knows how long it’ll be.”
“Yeah…” The man agreed then sat in uncomfortable silence, clicking his tongue in his mouth and drumming his palms against his knees while the woman ignored his fidgeting. “Did you see those wings?!” he blurted once he realized that if he didn’t bring it up, then no one would.
And that would be unacceptable.
Another sigh fell from her lips. “Yes, Ren, I did.”
“Where do you think they came from?” he asked, not looking or listening for an answer. “Raz said that only pure blood angels could have wings, and from everything I’ve seen and heard, that should be true. Zero is definitely not pure blood, so why does he have them? Why do they look like that?” The thrill spilled from ocean eyes. “They’re just bones. Nothing else. They’re the most amazing wings I’ve ever seen. Don’t you think so?”
“Sure, Ren”
“They’re nothing like Raz’s,” the angel continued without missing a beat. “His were fucked after The Guard tore them to shreds. You could see some bone, sure, but there were still feathers and skin hanging there. Zero’s aren’t like that. They don’t have any feathers or skin. It’s just bone. Clean, unobscured bone.”
“Uh huh. Yeah. Bone.” Sakura rolled her eyes as she ate another chocolate, hoping that the man would run out of steam sooner rather than later.
“How does that happen? Devils don’t have wings, and half-blood angels can’t have wings. So why does Zero? Where the fuck did they come from? Where did they go to? I wonder if he can make them come back. I bet he could.”
This had gone on long enough.
“Leave him alone,” the woman warned with a smack to his arm. “Are you listening to me? We don’t need Zero to be like that again.”
Ren grabbed her face with both hands, squeezing her cheeks and drawing her near. “You don’t understand. I need to see them again,” he insisted, nearly crazed. “I need to touch them. Examine them. Compare them. I need to know why the fuck they’re there. Why do they exist?”
“You don’t need anything,” the woman argued as she pulled herself free from the man’s clutches. “You want, and you don’t always get what you want.”
“Do you know who you’re talking to?”
She knew exactly who she was talking to and just how to distract him from his newest scheme. At least, temporarily. “Knock it off. Get it together. We don’t need to worry about Zero’s wings right now. We need to worry about Ivy’s. Hers didn’t just magically go away like his did. We have to travel with her like that.”
Ren grumbled, not wanting to give up so easily but understanding that he had bigger fish to fry, and everything else would have to be pushed onto the back burner for now. “I know we do, and I don’t think it’s a good idea for her wings to be out there on full display for everyone to see. Who knows how people will behave after seeing an actual fae, and I, personally, have no interest in finding out.”
“Me either,” the vixen agreed. “I’m sure her cloak will hide them well enough for now but that’s only temporary. We’ll need a permanent solution.”
The angel tilted his head, looking at the demon somberly. “You know what we have to do for that permanent solution.”
Her hand smashed against his face, pushing it from her as she turned away, hiding from the truth. “Don’t start,” she warned. “Don’t even say it.”
He grabbed her wrist and pulled it down. “Whether or not I say it doesn’t change the fact that we have to do it.”
Sakura began to sob without tears. “No! I don’t want to. You can’t make me.”
“It’s gonna be okay.” Ren wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer while grabbing a chocolate and sticking it into her mouth. “Just eat the pain away. But you know as well as I do that this is our only option. It’s for Ivy.”
“No!” she mumbled with her mouth full. “You’re just trying to trap me in Hollis!”
“Yes. I am,” the man admitted with no shame. “This wasn’t specifically apart of the plan, but it’s working out beautifully, nonetheless. However, none of that matters right now. This is what we have to do.”
The woman gazed at him pitifully, emeralds pleading for mercy. “I fucking hate her.”
“Everyone fucking hates her. That’s why she lives in the mountains away from society, because she’s been run out of every city and village she’s ever stepped foot into. No one can stand her. But we need her. She’s the only one who can do this.”
“Can’t you just go on your own? You’re good with her. Just… convince her.”
“I wouldn’t mind, but you know it’s going to be a waste of time. She won’t allow that. It’s not for me.”
“I know,” she sighed, resigning herself to their unavoidable fate. There was no other way around it. They were just going to have to suffer the hard way. “I’ll go. I’ll do what she wants. For Ivy.”
“For Ivy.”
They sat there in silence, the heaviness of the situation at hand weighing down on the demon, the dread building higher, eating away at her pride.
“You know,” Sakura offered. “Her wings aren’t that big of a deal. They’re really pretty and I bet…”
“Stop it!” Ren snapped. “We’re going. Stop trying to get out of it.”
“Fuck! Fine!” The woman took a few deep breaths, regaining composure. She couldn’t talk about this anymore. It would do no good to dwell on the horrible things in life. Better to think of the impossible. “How the fuck did we end up with a devil and a fae?”
“Just lucky, I guess. It all seems so obvious now. Of course she was a fae. How could she not be?” He poked her cheek accusingly. “How could you not know?”
“Fuck you! Why didn’t you figure it out if you’re so smart?!” the demon snapped before deflating, feeling the shame and humiliation deep in her soul. Years of chasing false leads when the answer was literally dancing before her very eyes the entire time. The singing and frolicking, her petite and wispy body, her unnatural beauty, the way she effortlessly lured men. It was as if she was actively trying not to find out the truth about the girl. “I guess I just never considered it. It’s not like you hear about fae being around anymore since they were all supposed to have been killed. There’s almost no real information out there about them beyond the stories; they’re gorgeous, they mate with humans, they’re magical and can go between realms, and that devils drink their blood. Yeah, of course she’s gorgeous, and she does sing and dance but that’s always been about it. There were no wings, nothing noticeably magical until she started doing that weird mind shit, and until Zero, she had no interest in men even though they had interest in her.”
The angel looked at the tent where the devil and fae slept within. “I wonder why he doesn’t eat her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he hasn’t. But why?”
“Maybe the angel in him?” Sakura suggested. “Maybe her magic was able to seduce him like it seduces other men?”
Ren shook his head, thinking about it. “I don’t think so. What they have between them isn’t magic. It’s deeper. Genuine. Always has been.” He looked at the woman earnestly. “When he found Ivy, we were looking for you. It was three years of the same thing, me asking around while he followed with his head down. He never really looked or talked to anyone unless I pushed him into it. He had a hard time looking and talking to me in the beginning, took a while before he really would. It was two years before he could greet Torg and Okag on his own without prompting. But that day he just turned around and walked off. I couldn’t believe it. He kept his head up and just walked like he knew where he was going. Went into that bookstore and looked right at the girl at the counter. Scared the living shit out of her, and I had to convince her not to freak out. When I got to him, he was practically in Ivy’s face asking her what she was.”
“Maybe he smelled her and followed it?”
“Maybe. But we were clear across town. Not even you would be able to smell her.”
Sakura chewed on her cheek; the story very familiar. “When I found her, it wasn’t because I could smell her. I heard something, like it was far off and right there at the same time. I didn’t even think about it. I just ran after it, and the next thing I knew I was diving through those thorn bushes, and she was right there, just sleeping. Only after I was in there could I smell her, and it was so overwhelming. It just came out of nowhere and made me dizzy. The thorns were masking it. But it was the sound that took me to her.”
“Was it her snoring?” the man joked.
“No.” She looked at him as her eyes brightened at the memory. “It was a song. It was… enchanting and lovely and I had to hear more. I had to get closer to it. It was just barely there at first and then got louder, but only a little. Like a whisper teasing me. When I thought I’d finally found it and be able to really hear it, I found Ivy, and it went away. I haven’t heard it since.”
“Maybe Zero heard the same thing?”
“Maybe. But why is she calling to a devil?” The woman just couldn’t make sense of it. A fae luring in a devil. “I can understand why she’d call out to me. If she’d been left there and no one had come for her, then I’m sure she was calling out for help from anyone nearby. I waited for two weeks before I woke her. Who knows how long she was there before that. But why a devil? Why a being that eats her kind?”
Ren was quiet. It was strange to him as well. A lot of things that the boy and girl did were far from normal but seemed to come so naturally to them. It had even started to not phase the angel, the unusual behavior and actions becoming commonplace in his life. “The sound. It was like a song?”
“Yeah.”
“After I found Zero, one of the first things he asked me was why the moon made a certain sound. I didn’t know what he was talking about. The moon doesn’t make any noise. But it seemed like he really could hear something, so I told him to keep listening to it. Maybe something would come from it?”
“Ivy hasn’t done it since you two have been with us, but she used to dance every night. Sometimes I’d join her, but other times it was like she didn’t want me to, and she’d dance alone.” She looked at the man with a small smile. “She’d reach for the moon and sing the most beautiful song that she would never sing any other time, only on those nights. I always felt like she was reaching and calling for something. For someone.”
“So,” Ren ventured, “there’s a far-fetched chance that for all these years, Zero’s been following Ivy’s song, looking for her.” He stared off into the distance, his brain beginning to feel like putty at the absurdity of what he was suggesting. “If that’s true, then what the fuck is wrong with those two? And not just why is a fae calling a devil, but how was she calling someone she didn’t know when they were so far away?”
Sakura shook her head, feeling the same way. “I don’t know, but that’s not the only thing that’s strange. When we left Golden City and Ivy was upset, she told me it wasn’t because we saw them do that weird face thing that they do. She didn’t care about that. It was something about Zero’s feelings, and how they’re too strong or some shit.”
The man snorted. “Fucking what feelings?”
Her eyes went wide in solidarity. “Right?! That’s what I said! But she was distraught over it. Completely inconsolable.”
“So… what?” he asked. “Is she sad because he doesn’t really show much emotion?”
“No.” It suddenly seemed to click. The random bouts of tears or blushes that seemed to be in response to something beyond Ivy herself. The way the girl would go to the boy, comforting him with her touches and words when there had been nothing from him that indicated that he needed those things. How she always understood him without the need for words. “I think Ivy can feel them.”