Chapter III
[CW: Slight mentions of unaware gender dysphoria]
The Void was a lot nicer than I expected it to be, especially with that name. The space around me was pitch black, but not empty. Dotted everywhere in an impossible display were trillions of stars. They seemed to be present immediately around me, yet also so far away as to be almost invisible to the eye at the same time. It was disorienting at first, my brain adjusting to the sight before me painfully slowly as I took everything in.
I’d logged into Stellara Nova for the first time, welcomed into the game with this scene. It’d taken hours to get everything squared away after I’d signed the contract in my Aunt’s office. In the days since we’d had our conversation at that shitty mid-level restaurant, everything had been extremely chaotic.
I’d needed to prepare my apartment and get rid of anything perishable in my fridge, read through a stack of medical questionnaires, a non-disclosure agreement relating to the specifications of the Tennant Pod (despite honestly not understanding any of it anyways), and then a barrage of more invasive medical examinations by Fidaela’s corporate doctors. My blood toxicity level was deemed to be in acceptable levels, and my body was in as good a shape as any average person in the pollutant-heavy world could expect.
Eventually, they’d taken me to a specialized room that looked like a cross between a hospital room and a server rack. One wall was all but taken up by large computer towers that stretched from the floor to over my head, each with lines of white pulsing LEDs outlining the edges. Thick cables ran from the computers to the pod itself, a surprisingly compact machine. It was about two and a half meters tall, and about half that in diameter. The casing was sleek black polymer, with two doors that split down the middle and opened to each side. They were open when I’d walked into the room, a comfortable padded interior had been waiting for me, feeling like a slick faux leather. Laying inside caused the material to compress around me, securing my body with a gentle yet ever present pressure like a warm, body encompassing hug.
Everything felt so incredibly vivid here, despite there being little to look at. Strange sensations washed across my body as floating words appeared in the air in front of me.
[New User Detected. Calibrating Haptic, Optical, and Auditory nervous responses.]
Tingles like a limb falling asleep ran through my body like a wave, and the sound of rushing water filled my ears. The stimulus was overwhelming at first, but rapidly dimmed and became more manageable after a couple of seconds. It left me feeling out of breath, and I realized tears were running down my cheeks.
[Calibration complete. Emotional status detection software registering high levels of emotional instability. Would you like to disconnect?]
[Y/N]
I’d gotten instructions on how to use the mental command system built into all VR systems before I’d gone in, and I tried to follow their advice. I imagined sending a poke at the ‘N’, and the letter flashed red before the message disappeared.
[Initializing Stellara Nova… Please wait…]
[Stellara Nova Loaded. Welcome, Player.]
The floating text disappeared between blinks, and around me suddenly was a stark white room. It looked like some of the renders of far-future space stations I’d seen online, this one having been set up with science-fiction-esque medical equipment. Behind me, the hiss of a door opening drew my attention and I rapidly turned around, realizing that I had my physical body again as the hospital gown shifted on me.
A tall woman had entered the room through a round sliding door, wearing a stark white lab coat. She had olive toned skin with a thin build and long black wavy hair. Her eyes were a glittering gold, matching the streaks of gold of her fingernails. She gave me a gentle smile as she approached. When she spoke, her voice was deep yet melodic. “Welcome player, to Stellara Nova. I see this is your first time here. Would you like help with character creation?”
I stared at her dumbly for a few seconds as my brain took its sweet time to process. My eyes widened, and I rapidly nodded. “I- Uh- Yes, please! Uh… S-sorry, I got distracted, and I didn’t mean to stare, and-”
The woman gave a low chuckle, shaking her head softly as she cut me off. “It’s alright, please. My name is Nora, and I am the Gamemaster AI. I will not take offence to you being interested in my body, I designed it specifically to be eye-catching. I’ll be helping you create your own unique appearance within this world, if you want my help.”
“Y-yes, please I would really like help. I have no idea what I’m doing.” I nodded. I had to force myself to slow down and keep my words steady, everything was getting a bit overwhelming at the pace it was moving.
“Of course.” The woman, Nora, nodded and gestured off to the side of the room. There, a desk with two chairs on opposite sides sat. “Shall we sit and talk? There is much to discuss.”
We moved over to the desk, and sat down. The chairs, despite looking like cheap white plastic, were actually surprisingly comfortable. Nora tapped on the desk, and a holographic computer screen appeared facing the both of us. A long list of statistics appeared on the screen, and she took a minute to examine it.
[Character Sheet]
[Name: Unnamed Character]
[Level: 0]
[Age: 24]
[Gender Appearance: Male]
[Race: Human]
[Character Stats:]
[Unassigned Stat Points: 15]
[PHYSICAL:]
[Fortitude: 0]
[Strength: 0]
[Flexibility: 0]
[ABSTRACT:]
[Memory: 0]
[Awareness: 0]
[Accuracy: 0]
[Traits:]
[None]
[Afflictions and Bonuses:]
[None]
I stared at my character sheet blankly. There was a lot of information there, and while I got the gist of it, I certainly didn’t understand it completely and none of the stats, save strength and flexibility which seemed relatively straightforward, in my clueless position. Thankfully, Nora started to explain before I even had to ask.
“All the information laid out here in your character sheet is malleable right now,” she starts, gesturing at the screen. “We will assign your stats after we design your character’s appearance, but I’ll briefly explain them now so you can think about them before we get there.”
She points at the first stat in the list, and continues to explain, “Fortitude represents your pain tolerance and how far you are able to push your body through pain and exhaustion after you have met your physical limits. If you’re familiar with other games, you might recognize this as your stamina, though that’s not entirely accurate given the pain factor.”
“How… Intense is the pain? That seems… Wrong to put people through?” I asked, my face twisting with confusion.
“There is a pain cap within Stellara Nova, yes.” Nora nods. “But pain is a much more present part in daily life than many people think. It is a very good indicator of how far your body can move, prevents you from overusing your muscles, and creates apprehension when approaching dangerous actions, to name a few examples. Beyond that, Stellara Nova tries to recreate as many sensations from real life as possible to give a truly immersive experience, and to take away pain would detract from that experience. Does that help?”
“I… Think I get it, yeah.”
“Excellent. Moving onto Strength and Flexibility, these are what they sound like. Strength represents your accumulated muscle and lifting potential, along with how much damage you will do with unarmed and armed bludgeoning attacks. There are some exceptions to this, but those will be explained in the item or ability.” Nora took a pause, letting the information sink in before continuing. “Flexibility is similar, representing how limber your joints and limbs are, and how aware of your body’s position you are. Improving this skill will help you with bladed melee weapons, along with your natural stealth skills. These three make up your primary physical stats. Do you have any questions?”
I nervously rubbed my leg as I thought through everything she had said. “Uh… What’s the scale the stats work on? Like… Everything is at zero right now, but what’s the limit?”
“A good question,” Nora agreed with the slightest nod of her head, “The scale is on a zero to twenty scale, with two being the average human baseline and twenty being peak human condition. There are a variety of abilities, racial traits, and very rarely items that will increase the cap on the scale, though those are usually only one or two point increases.”
My eyes went wide. “So… You can get superhuman strength with the right items?”
“Yes, though much of that can be replicated through technologies available for purchase within both player and NPC run stores,” Nora clarified, “though most of the best enhancement items are locked behind challenge locations; dungeons, races, and world events.”
“Sounds vaguely familiar, at least what my friend has told me.” I tapped my finger on my thigh. “What about the abstract stats?”
“Abstract stats represent various intangible aspects of yourself that we can improve upon.” Nora pointed a thin finger at the screen towards memory, going through them one by one. “Memory is your ability to recall details and information. While we cannot directly improve the way your brain recalls information, we can make computer-assisted data available to you and help form connections faster while you are connected to the game. Fair warning, many people find that improving this beyond normal human limitations to be a disorienting experience when they disconnect.”
She moved her finger down, “Awareness is akin to perception in old pen and paper games. This is a measurement of your ability to perceive your surroundings with your existing senses - sight, smell, touch, hearing, and taste. While we cannot directly improve your ability to understand the information you are given with enhanced senses, your awareness of them improves with higher points in this stat.”
“Finally, is accuracy. As you can imagine, many of the weapons in this game are of the ranged variety. This is your ability to judge distances and velocities of projectiles. While this seems fairly tailored in comparison to the other stats, we have found there are a wide variety of situations where this stat is the biggest equalizer all else considered.” Nora finished, lowering her finger from the screen.
I nodded. All of it made enough sense that I didn’t have any questions. Nora swiped her hand along the desk, and the screen blinked away. A 3D model of my body took its place, standing in an ‘A’-pose. He was only wearing a set of plain white briefs.
My body looked… Bland. Boring. Standing there, he looked like every other brown-haired, slightly fit male out there, and a surge of disappointment swelled in my chest. I knew, logically, there was nothing wrong with being plain. But seeing it in front of me brought up intense feelings of discomfort that made me shift in my seat and frown.
Nora gestured to the avatar. “We always start character creation from a full body scan of your existing body. I’m noting elevated stress levels from you right now… Would you like to start from a blank doll instead? I’ve found it helpful for those with body-image issues if we do.”
“Yes, please.” I said, quicker than I meant to. It wasn’t that I hated my appearance, but I really didn’t want to play myself in a game that was meant as an escape from reality.
The model shifted, becoming a generic male model that looked like an AI composite of thousands of typical white men. The feelings of discomfort didn’t fade completely, but it lessened to the point I could ignore it again.
“Why don’t we start with your race?” Nora asked, bringing my focus back to her and away from the model. “Stellara Nova’s universe is home to a variety of peoples and cultures within those races.”
She tapped the desk and a holographic screen flashed up in front of me. On it was a list of each of the races, with a small graphic appearing with an example of both a male and female figure for each one when I tapped on it with a finger. There were a few fantasy-ish looking races along with the generic human, but I found myself being drawn to one of the races under the ‘anthrokin’ section. Something about having a fluffy tail was drawing me in, and I found myself reading over the entry for the ‘Luphar’. They were a human-like race with the distinct difference of having pointed ears on the top of their heads, long fluffy tails, and furred limbs with a stance described as digitigrade.
[Race: Luphar]
[The result of early genetic engineering, the Luphar are the product of early human genetic experimentation in the mid 2060s. Anthrokin of all types started appearing at this time, but one of the largest groups were those with traits from the grey wolf species of Europe and North America. By the time humanity reached the stars in 2104, the Luphar were a notable visible minority across much of Earth. Boasting better senses and endurance than most humans, the Luphar excelled in the roles of scouts and hunters, despite the widespread discrimination from the Terran United Nations of the time. However, specialized equipment is required to keep their non-standard limb configurations safe during space travel and extravehicular-activities.]
[Bonuses: +1 Fortitude, +1 Awareness]
[Traits: Specialized Equipment]
I bit my lip as I looked over the details. The ‘specialized equipment’ trait meant that I’d likely be paying more for my clothes, armour, space suit, and things like that. Buuuut… I’d get to have a tail. The decision was excruciating.
At the end of it, having a tail won out over my desire to save money, and I picked the Luphar race for myself. I watched as the 3D model changed, a set of grey wolfish ears appearing on the top of his head. A furred grey tail appeared from just above his butt, and his legs flickered from a standard pair of human legs to furred ones. He stood on his toes now, legs bending forwards at the ankle and back at the knee, much like how a dog’s would. He looked powerful, though I still struggled to imagine being him. There was just a mismatch in how I desired to look compared to what was before me, and I couldn’t fully place it.
I looked back down at the screen in front of me, frowning. I stared at the little graphics of the Luphar again, and blurted out a question. “Can I be a girl?”
I immediately felt my face heating up as I looked up at Nora, expecting her to be laughing at me. What the hell made me ask that?! I didn’t want them thinking I was weird or-
“If you would like, yes.” She said, nodding slightly at me. There was no change in her tone, simply answering the question in the same way she had every other.
I stared at her, dumbfounded, for a moment. “R-really?”
“Of course.” Nora smiled gently. “I will give you the standard warning - You may feel a disconnect between your assigned gender and the body you inhabit in game, but we do not limit the choice from players. We do also offer items in our cash shop that will allow you to adjust aspects of your appearance later on, including gender if you find the dysphoria unbearable!”
She paused after a moment, her smile turning to a frown. “I don’t like having to say that, apologies. Pushing secondary sales is hardcoded into me.”
“I… I see.” I stared for another moment, before forcing myself to take a breath. I was more focused on figuring out why the idea of playing as a girl was causing happy sparks to replace the anxious butterflies in my chest than questioning why the AI was acting weird. I pressed on the image of female Luphar.
My breath caught as the appearance of the model changed once again - the bulky male body morphing into a lithe but athletic female one. She was absolutely stunning, with pale skin and intense cerulean blue eyes that seemed to stare a challenge into mine. One that dared the world to try to push her around, knowing she would not be moved.
It was a long moment before I moved again, starting to work on the many sliders that would adjust and find-tune her appearance. It took me nearly twenty minutes, perfecting her facial features and body to get it exactly as I wanted to look. I kept her eyes though, the intense look something I wanted to embody. Beyond that, I cropped her hair back to her shoulders, keeping it relatively practical for a working environment of a ship. I turned her hair and fur snow white, giving a very arctic wolf appearance that only caused the sparks to grow more intense in my chest.
I made up my stats next, quickly distributing them. I like the idea of becoming a pilot for space ships, and Nora was more than happy to give me advice on how to distribute them. The final touch was her name, which I had already picked out. With a shaky hand, I typed it into the text box and hit confirm. My vision flashed white, and the void faded away.
[Character Sheet]
[Name: Kaela Skare]
[Level: 1]
[Age: 24]
[Gender Appearance: Female]
[Race: Luphar]
[Character Stats:]
[Unassigned Stat Points: 0]
[PHYSICAL:]
[Fortitude: 3(4)]
[Strength: 2]
[Flexibility: 3]
[ABSTRACT:]
[Memory: 2]
[Awareness: 2(3)]
[Accuracy: 3]
[Traits:]
- Specialized Equipment
[Afflictions and Bonuses:]
- Racial: +1 Fortitude, +1 Awareness