Starting a Reversal in Life From the Time of Release

5 – Regret and Resentment (2)

When Yoo Si-hoo’s guilt was confirmed.

I, we, felt a great sense of betrayal.

We believed that the person we had been together with for years had committed all sorts of despicable acts behind our backs.

I later learned that all the evidence proving his guilt had been fabricated, but at that time, I could only feel a deep sense of betrayal.

No matter how unjustly Yoo Si-hoo appealed, I couldn’t believe him.

It was simply because I didn’t want to admit his guilt.

Or I thought he was rebelling because he didn’t want to go to prison.

But an unexpected person believed in Yoo Si-hoo’s innocence until the end and proved it.

The tyrant of Helix, Alex Christopher.

Legally speaking, we were not guilty.

He didn’t accuse us or actively try to prove our guilt.

He simply watched.

Today, I met Yoo Si-hoo and realized the weight of that as a sin.

“Sniff…!”

I grabbed my trembling legs and stood up, wiping away tears with my sleeves.

I’m sorry for not believing in you and asking for forgiveness…

Even if you don’t accept it, I hoped that my sincerity would be conveyed, but even that, I messed up.

Stupidly.

The current Yoo Si-hoo is in a state where he can’t accept any words I say.

It was natural, but I didn’t realize that naturalness.

I couldn’t imagine how heavy that one year in prison must have been.

I should have collapsed on the ground and banged my head, but because of this damn personality.

“Sigh…”

I let out a sigh and resolved to come back later.

In the end, I had no choice but to beg and apologize in order to be forgiven.

If I try to take an easy way out and use cunning tricks, I will only drift further away.

Even if it’s painful and difficult, confronting it head-on is the only answer.

At least, that’s what I thought.

” …Ah. “

I sat in a small car that was parked in a corner of the apartment parking lot and started the engine, when suddenly, Yoo Si-hoo’s voice came to mind.

It was a word he often cursed ignorantly.

Furthermore, the one who relayed those words was none other than Seo Ha-neul.

” Like a dog… “

Without realizing it, curses flowed out in a low voice, and my teeth clenched.

I started the engine and drove straight to the Nokyang head office.

I didn’t like the way Seo Ha-neul subtly belittled both me and Nana while apologizing.

It used to have a certain ominous vibe, but now that I was the one on the receiving end, I felt filthy.

Damn it! I got out of the car menacingly in the Nokyang parking lot and walked towards the botanical garden.

Seo Ha-neul’s ability was plants, so she cultivated a small botanical garden behind the building.

Although the building itself had an automated system for plant management, she did it alone.

” Ah… Miss Yeo, what’s going on? “

Seo Ha-neul works at the botanical garden.

So if you visit the botanical garden, there’s a high chance of running into Seo Ha-neul.

Just like right now.

“What’s going on? You really don’t know?”

“Yes. I don’t know.”

Seo Ha-neul tilted her head gently with a calm voice.

But she seems to know from my voice and atmosphere that something’s wrong.

She let go of the sunflower she was stroking and looked at me directly.

“If I said that I cursed Yoo Si-hoo a lot?”

Seo Ha-neul blinked her eyes for a moment at my question, then made a sound of surprise as she answered.

“Ah… That? Yes, it’s true. I didn’t say something that didn’t exist.”

“That’s…!”

Yeah. It’s true that I cursed Yoo Si-hoo out of betrayal.

Just like the people at Nokyang, I was swept up in that atmosphere.

With my head filled with heat, foolishly.

“You came to argue about that?”

—

Suddenly, Sehahun walked towards me and asked, “Yes, you came to confront me, didn’t you? I admit my mistake, but even so, how do you think Yoo Sihu will feel if you say such things?”

“What do you mean? Isn’t it obvious? Don’t you think Sihu is just one of the betrayers?”

Sehahun retorted as if to question why I was asking the obvious.

Her words hit the mark, and I was left with nothing to say.

“Summer, if you’re going to be exposed anyway, it’s better to confess in advance, even if it’s something trivial. Don’t you think so?”

“…Well, you’re right.”

“Not just in words.”

Sehahun’s voice as she looked at me had a force to it. She seemed confident that what she was doing was right.

“So?”

“Anyway, we are sinners in Sihu’s eyes. Summer, you know why, don’t you?”

“Yeah… I left him alone because I couldn’t trust him. I’m well aware it’s a sin.”

“So it’s the perfect time to admit our mistakes. After all, there is already disappointment in us from him piercing the sky.”

“That’s… true…”

“Yes, and that disappointment won’t be resolved overnight. That’s why you went to apologize, right?”

It seemed unresolved, but Sehahun touched on my guilt with a sigh.

Her tone, which sounded as if she were reporting as if she had seen it with her own eyes, bothered me.

“How did you know?”

“It’s stranger that you don’t know.”

“Tsk…”

Sehahun’s nonchalant sigh wasn’t one that implied she knew everything, but it was a fact, and I could only click my tongue.

We had been on the same team for several years, so Sehahun probably knew just as much.

“But, how far have you thought this through?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Amid an uncomfortable silence, Sehahun asked an unexpected question.

“Apologies. How far do you plan to take this?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I want to contribute as well. And it’s good to apologize together to seek forgiveness. Do you remember what I mentioned before?”

“Before? This time, I tilted my head in confusion.

The question seemed out of place, and the scope of ‘before’ was so broad that I couldn’t quite grasp it.

Seo Haneul must have realized that, as she added an explanation with a sigh.

“The question about what you think about marrying Shi-hoo.”

“Oh? Ah… that one?”

It was only then that I realized what Seo Haneul was talking about.

I vividly recalled the conversation we had during a private drinking session, just the two of us.

Up until that point, there had been a high possibility that Shi-hoo would become close to us…

“Oh, I remember. But why bring up that topic all of a sudden?”

“Let’s hold hands until the end. Keep apologizing together. If we’re lucky and get forgiven… then what comes next. That’s why I’m asking you.”

What comes next.

Seo Haneul’s notion of ‘next’ was not entirely clear, but it was probably about going all the way.

And even though it was morally questionable, that wasn’t what was important right now.

What was much more important than those judgmental glances was Shi-hoo’s forgiveness.

After all, the looks that Shi-hoo had received were likely far harsher, intense, and repugnant.

“Do you already have thoughts like that? First, let’s seek forgiveness!”

“Well… that’s a valid point.”

When I retorted, Seo Haneul slumped, looking slightly crestfallen.

It felt strangely satisfying to have given her a taste of her own medicine.

I gazed at the somewhat deflated Seo Haneul, then slowly spoke.

“Head. Lying down on the street and banging your head.”

“Oh… that? I think I saw that on the internet, they called it ‘dogeza,’ right?”

“…Yeah.”

“It doesn’t seem bad. It looks like a sign of respect.”

“Is that so?”

Upon hearing that it wasn’t a bad idea, I found myself asking with a raised voice.

Seeing it as a good idea gave me hope.

However, Seo Haneul poured cold water on that hope.

“Don’t get your hopes up too much. If solving this was as simple as banging your head on the floor, you would have turned back long ago.”

“Ahem! I know that much too!”

Caught off guard, I let out a forced cough, and my irritation rose for no good reason.

Seo Haneul’s words seemed reasonable, so I couldn’t argue back.

“But still, if we do it a hundred or a thousand times, wouldn’t a glimmer of hope emerge?”

“I wish it were that simple.”

“Indeed. Acting like an idiot once is enough.”

When Seo Haneul used the word “idiot,” it was both astonishing and sent shivers down my spine.

Even in the most desperate situations, I had never resorted to swearing, and now, my eyes widened as I did.

The intensity of her resolve unknowingly pushed me a step back.

“But… Will Yoo Sihu forgive us?”

“We’ll have to beg for forgiveness for the rest of our lives, even if it means doing so until we die.”

“R-Rest of our lives?”

Unintentionally, I mumbled anxiously, and Seo Haneul responded with narrowed eyes.

Her voice was so heavy, and it sent chills down my spine.

“So, you didn’t start this with that level of commitment? If you’re not confident, you can leave right now.”

Seo Haneul occasionally showed her tough side, and every time she did, it took me by surprise.

Just like now.

However, I had resolved firmly this time, and I had no intention of backing down.

Yoo Sihu’s empty spot felt too empty to feel it for the rest of my life.

“I will do it.”

“Is that so? Then it’s settled.”

Seo Haneul nodded at me, then softened her sharp gaze.

“By the way, don’t go begging every day. Begging for forgiveness isn’t a government job. Do you understand what I mean?”

“Hey, do you think I’m that clueless? I got it.”

“That’s settled, then. But still…”

Seo Haneul took out her phone from her pocket and quickly sent a text message.

It seemed as though she was sending a message somewhere.

I discreetly tilted my head and glanced, and I saw that she was sending a message to Yoo Sihu.

It was a message saying that they wanted to meet in a week.

“A week later? So soon?”

Asking in astonishment, Seohanui smiled softly and said,

“We need to meet once more to apologize and coordinate the timing. Shiho will give us an answer.”

“Does that make sense?”

“It does. Shiho feels deeply betrayed, and she’s keeping her distance from us…but fortunately, she still treats us like human beings. So if we approach cautiously, there’s a possibility…”

Hmm. Seohanui was giving a passionate speech when her phone vibrated.

She immediately turned on the phone’s screen, then triumphantly held it out in front of me.

“Look. We have a chance, right?”

Let’s meet.

As I read Shiho’s brief reply, my mind went blank.

It was truly fascinating how everything was happening just as Seohanui had said.

“Is this for real?”

“If we keep meeting like this, eventually we’ll be forgiven for our sins.”

However.

Seohanui turned off the phone screen and put it in her pocket, then stared at us with a tense gaze.

“Keep this a secret from Nambora. She probably won’t even apologize because of her pride, but if she finds out we’re doing this, she’ll just make things more complicated. Accusing us of bullying.”

Nambora. The most prideful person in our team, unable to admit her own mistakes.

But still a capable hunter and not entirely lacking in teamwork, doing her part at the gate.

However.

In a situation like this, she wouldn’t be of any help and would only overturn the carefully arranged plan, so it was natural for Seohanui to be cautious.

I also knew that well, so instead of answering, I nodded heavily.

It would have been better if I had believed from the beginning.

A sudden regret weighed heavily on my chest.