NOVEL WEB Chapter 19.2: Hyuga Aoi II
After a short period of silence, Hyuga lowered her eyebrows and squinted apologetically at me.
[It was neither murder nor bullying. Only that… there was a slight screw-up.]
“What… do you mean by that?”
[Well, to start from scratch, it’s a rather embarrassing story.]
Hyuga dodged the question when I urged her to quit acting goofy and wouldn’t offer me a concrete explanation.
[As I stated earlier, I don’t have much time… so can we discuss this another time, please, in honor of my face.]
Sticking her tongue out of the corner of her mouth, she playfully teased me. Did she think she could convince me with that?
[More to the point, I have to apologize to you. Because of the way I died… you were accused of all sorts of things and suffered severely after that… I didn’t think… that my death would be misunderstood like this… you underwent an agonizing struggle without me knowing. I am sorry.]
Right as I thought she was playing with me, Hyuga lowered her head politely, this time with her black hair flowing forward.
“Why are you the one apologizing… Idiot, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
[No. It’s okay, I know all about it. What you said that day, that you didn’t actually mean everything you said, and that you were trying to apologize to me… That’s all that matters. That’s all I needed to be saved.]
“Hyuga.”
[You know…]
Wrapping my left hand in both of hers, Hyuga began to speak with a smile on her face as if she had been waiting for this moment.
[The first time I knew about you was during the summer tournament of my freshman year. After switching with a third-year senior, you unexpectedly appeared on the pitcher’s mound with a face that could kill an opponent simply with your eyes. You stood there, sweating, unfazed by the stares of others and the yelling of the opposing team… When I first caught sight of you, I was blown away.]
The other school had the match in their favor, not allowing a single player to reach base, and if the pitcher failed to score, nothing was secure. A second-year pitcher was introduced into the lineup. Even the audience was in a stir. Like everyone else, Hyuga likewise doubted that I would ever be able to close out this inning since, as a junior, I had a body build that was a size too undeveloped in comparison to the brawny third-year pitcher.
[Then, in the blink of an eye, you made strikeouts! So easily… that it was laughable! Even now, I still remember that moment! I was so taken aback that I forgot to play the musical performance…]
Despite being in a position where even the slightest mistake was not allowed, Hyuga watched me continue to pitch with no change in my facial expression until I left the pitcher’s mound, forgetting about her own part during the match.
[Above all, what struck me as remarkable… was that even though you were pitching alone in that spot, you didn’t show any concern or worry, and everyone around you thought so, but only you kept your eyes ahead and competed with all your might. Back then, I was not comfortable with standing out or being seen, so I chose the flute because I thought it would not draw attention, and had no self-confidence, not even thinking about having self-confidence until I knew you―Watching you, I thought to myself how great you were, and I began to wish that I could be just like you. Always looking straight ahead, never looking back, just walking on your own path. I wanted to be cool like you…]
“Did you really think that… I’m cool?]
[Yes, you were always cool only when you were on the pitcher’s mound…]
What? So I was cool only at that moment huh.
[At the same time that I made you my goal, I started to want to talk to you and get closer to you before long… Since then, I put in a lot of effort so that I wouldn’t be embarrassed when I appeared in front of you.]
Up until that point, Hyuga had been an average student, in both studies and extracurricular activities, but thanks to her dedication and active participation in events and roles, in just one year her reputation as an honor student had been established. That all of this was done to bring her humble existence to my attention was unbelievable.
How could Hyuga, who admired me and wanted to be like me, have strived so diligently to become the Hyuga she was now? From the very beginning, I thought Hyuga was like that, a guy who was always smiling at everyone and could handle anything. Even though I had wished I could manage everything as well as she did…
[I didn’t do it for anyone, but for you, my senior, you were special.]
“Don’t flatter me… I was a jerk.]
When I said that to her, she shook her head.
[That’s not true. I tried hard to become as confident as you, but when I talked to you directly, I realized that I was no match for you. You were clear about everything, without hesitation, holding steady on your own thoughts, while I was… acting funny, yet having doubts in my mind and thinking about other things.]
“…It’s so unlike you to say such a thing.”
[It’s because of the current you that I can speak honestly with you like this. But that makes me happy. I didn’t want to keep it a secret or hide the fact that I had the ability to sense the supernatural from you because it felt like I was lying to you somehow.]
“Even after you went to the length of telling me, I didn’t believe you at the time…”
[It’s okay because you didn’t reject me. Besides, that kind of reaction is more like you and made me reassured… I said the same thing at that time, didn’t I?]
“Right……… somehow, it’s like being back in those days, in spite of all the years that have passed.”
A strong force was transmitted to the arms that had been wrapped around me.
[You were amusing, strong and cool in baseball, frightening to everyone but in fact, a teasing character, a good person at heart, occasionally kind, and I… enjoyed hanging out with you!]
“Isn’t that the worst―!”
What a thing to say with a smile…
[Thank you for the enjoyable time and the many wonderful memories.]
“I didn’t do anything to warrant a thank you…”
[And I apologize for messing around with you so much.]
“That apology is accepted.”
[You haven’t changed after all these years.]
“Is that in a positive sense?”
“In a positive and negative sense.”
What was with that?
After all, this guy was still the same Hyuga even after her death. Hyuga nervously gripped my hand as if to make sure and asked me while I was pondering this in my head.
[Senior. Have you ever had any fun with me… even a little?]
I wondered why she would ask such a question but Hyuga seemed to want me to answer. So, I truthfully told her the answer to her question.
“Whenever I was with you, I was never bored… but I guess you could call that having fun.”
Like a bud opening, Hyuga’s eyes widened and shook.
[You… are really a good person.]
“You…”
[If only this were enough, I should have been satisfied… But…]
The force of the fingers, which had been strongly conveyed, painfully leaped up.
Hyuga tightened her grip on my wrist to the point that I thought my blood would stop flowing.
[But I… want more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more! …More!!]
Large droplets of tears slowly emerged from her shaking eyes.
[I wish I could be with you more…]
The tears streamed down Hyuga’s cheeks as she smiled. From that first drop, Hyuga’s eyes began to overflow and run with transparent drops.
[Huh… Ah. Not good. I didn’t plan to cry. I didn’t want to show you my crying face…]
Hyuga brushed her tears away with the backs of her hands and arms while her lips trembled, but it didn’t stop her from weeping. They even fell into my arms.
[I didn’t come here to cry like this, you know… What am I doing… I always lie to myself and can’t be truthful when it comes to the most vital parts… Really, this pair of glasses is useless… I am useless… Even though I decided… to be honest with myself like you.]
“What are you talking about… don’t cry.”
[Only the same things are repeated… even now that I’m dead… I’m still the same as I was then… This is the last time I can speak to you…]
“…Hyuga, rest assured, I… feel like I’m somehow dead already… It probably won’t be the last time… I’m sure I’m destined to die with you… So don’t cry…”
My other arm, the one that wasn’t being grasped, lightly patted her on the head, and Hyuga took a few small, deep breaths, then raised her head.
[No… You have to go back to. Those people… are going to liberate me and save you because they are waiting for you.]
With a regretful look on her face, Hyuga withdrew her fingers from my arm. I tried to catch that last finger as quickly as I could, but I was slightly too late, and Hyuga’s hand slipped through.
[With this… it’s time to part ways, senior.]
With no more time left to spare, she rose to her feet, turned her back to me, and walked over to the woman who was still shrinking in the corner and held out her hand.
[Come on, let’s go… together.]
“…Wait, Hyuga―where are you going…!”
I called out to her but she wouldn’t turn around. Somehow I managed to get Hyuga to look back at me again, but for some reason, that was when half of my vision started to cloud over. I couldn’t stand up even if I wanted to.
[Senior, please take good care of yourself.]
“You idiot… wait!”
She came out of nowhere and suddenly said farewell. Don’t be ridiculous!
I hadn’t―! I still hadn’t done anything for you―!
[Please keep moving forward… don’t stop, keep going straight and advance. Senior, please be yourself… and always continue to be yourself.]
“Hyuga…!”
Damn… Like a malfunctioning camera lens, my vision fluctuated between fuzzy and clear, preventing me from even catching a glimpse of Hyuga’s face in all its pure white splendor.
Even so, I stretched out my fingers and arms as far as I could and shouted. Just when I thought we were reunited, you disappeared again, all by yourself.
[Oh… there’s one last thing I forgot to mention.]
Amidst my blurred vision and consciousness.
[…I.]
Inhaling deeply, she looked back at me as if she had made up her mind to do so. At the same time, teardrops danced and glistened, and her long black hair swayed.
[I had you as my goal, but before I realized it, I was adoring you… to such an extent that I was confused by my own feelings.”
Feelings like this. I am ashamed to express myself like this and thought it would be strange to say it out loud. I pretended to be disinterested, acting like an innocent person.
But I didn’t want you to leave me… so I deliberately behaved strangely to catch your attention.
Being afraid to be honest, countless times I have told you nonsense lies to cover it up.
For a long time, I have been concealing it from you, but now, for once and for all, I will say it properly.
Please let me say it properly.
―The thing that fell out with an audible thud was a pair of red-rimmed glasses.
[…I like you… very much…!]
Your overly straightforward personality, your slightly wicked face, and everything else. All of it.
[I’m not lying.]
Before my consciousness completely faded away, my vision became clear one more time.
[This time, it’s the truth―]
Hyuga’s large black eyes were wet with tears, and she was beaming with the most radiant smile.
It was likewise the last sight of Hyuga that I would ever see in my life.
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