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Hello, my name is Alexander Krup. Alex for short. My life sucks. I just wanted to put that out there. Before I get into all of that, let me tell you a little bit about myself.

I am six feet tall, overweight, and not very good-looking. I have shaggy brown hair that sort of makes me look like Wolverine from the comic book when I wake up in the morning. The only good feature about me is my eyes. I love my green eyes. They remind me of emeralds.

My life started well enough. I was raised by loving parents. Lived in middle-class America. Went to a good school. Played video games all I wanted. I was living the dream. At least that’s how it felt to teenage me.

I even dated my best friend in high school. Maybe that’s where it all started to go wrong. We saw each other every day at school. We had a routine. Attend class, hang out together, make out when possible, and then go home and play video games until I passed out. My schedule was full. While I didn’t get the best grades in the world, I managed to pass. Somehow.

Fast forward to graduation. I got my diploma. They don’t put your GPA on there, so it looks the same as everyone else’s. Getting into a good college was another thing. That was probably the nail in the coffin for my girlfriend. She made plans for us to go to college in New York together.

The problem was that I was tired of school. After thirteen years of agonizing education, I felt as though I would die if I had to set foot in an establishment of higher learning for even one more day.

My parents were pretty cool, all things considered. While they didn’t kick me out of the house, they did insist that I get a job. That is where this story truly began. I got the perfect job.

VIDEO GAME BETA TESTER

The way it came to me is still a mystery. It started as an achievement on my JoyStation. When I started, the reward was free video games and in-game items. However, right when my parents insisted that I get a job, a new menu with cash rewards became available.

I didn’t make a fortune, but I made enough to keep the ‘rents off my back. Now let’s get to the problems. My girlfriend wasn’t happy. She went off to New York for college. It was her dream to play the “let’s go to school, get jobs, get married, and make babies” game. My dream was to just play games. I could get behind the make babies game but only if we took precautions to not actually make any babies.

I just wanted to live my life…and play video games of course. Having a girlfriend to go with all of that was just a bonus objective. Sex is a good thing after all. I will give her credit though. She at least had the decency to dump me before she moved on. I saw on social media that she met someone in New York and was “in love.”

If that was the extent of my problems, this story would be boring. Now, before I tell you how my adventure began, I have to tell you some bad news.

I knew they were sick before they did. First, dad brought it home from work and then mom caught it. We knew so little about the disease. There was such a small chance of death. If you tell me I had a three percent chance of something happening, I probably would have brushed it off as unlikely. Nobody could have prepared me to lose both of my parents within weeks of each other.

I don’t know if it was the tragedy of losing my parents or fate but something spectacular happened. It could have been a hallucination brought about by staying up too late playing video games. You know, when you play a game for too long and end up dreaming about it? I woke up one day and saw words etched on the ceiling. Have you ever looked at something for a long time and imagined you saw words written there? Well, that started happening everywhere.

Good morning! You slept for 7 hours and 31 minutes. Condition: Rested.

I blinked, and it was gone. Yawning, I stretched and made my way to the bathroom.

Bladder at 77% capacity. Do you wish to urinate? Y/N?

My imagination must have been going into overdrive to see such ridiculous messages. I tried to shrug it off. I was not going to go crazy.

Would you like to skip all nonessential notices? Y/N?

I debated whether or not to decline the messages. In the end, I decided they were amusing and let them stay. Over the next few months, I got out of the house more as I explored this strange new condition. The world was becoming a video game. I embraced it.

I also spent a lot of time refining my new skill. Seeing the world as a video game had some interesting perks. When I spoke with people, their dialog came subtitled, occasionally with helpful hints from the system.

To go along with the option prompts, every person, object, and even some thoughts had menus of their own. I never got a chance to inspect my parents or my girlfriend and I wondered if my newfound skills could have somehow salvaged my relationship.

One problem of my newly orphaned predicament was that I could no longer support myself. While video game testing kept the ‘rents off my back and afforded me some spending money, it just wasn’t enough to survive on my own.

I sat on my bed in my room. Only it wasn’t going to be mine much longer. Without my parents around, it was well outside of my price range. If I was honest with myself, I could barely afford a cardboard box in a back alley of a run-down neighborhood.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I ignored the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone and the last thing I wanted to do was talk.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Laying back on the bed, I buried my head under the pillow.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

It didn’t help. I could still hear the muffled knocking through the pillow. The system was helpfully telling me what I already knew.

System Alert: There is somebody at the door. Do you wish to answer? Y/N?

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I threw the pillow across the room, knocking some books off of a shelf. Whoever was knocking was very persistent.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I pulled myself to my feet and stomped through the house. “I’m coming. Give me a second!”

It wasn’t that I cared if anyone heard me. When I made it to the door, I decided I was going to take my rage out on whatever religious nut or traveling salesman dared to darken my doorstep.

Pulling the door open, I shouted, “What?!”

A man wearing a bathrobe blinked at me, adjusting a pair of square-rimmed glasses. The system told me who I was looking at.

Josef Entares

Level

21

Class

Relocator

Affection Level

Indifferent

He bowed. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Alexander. My name is Josef and I represent S.I.M.P. Gaming Incorporated. I have come to follow up on your recent completion of the tutorial.”

The name of the company always made me laugh and I told him as much. “Do you realize how embarrassing it is to cash checks from SIMP Co?”

He stared at me. “I assure you, I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Of course, he didn’t. He was wearing a bathrobe. I stood there, framed in my doorway, gaping at him. The robe had stars on it. Kind of like…Nah. The tutorial he spoke of was more of a game list than anything instructional.

I attempted to close the door. “Look, this isn’t a good time. Both of my parents recently died and, you know…”

Josef didn’t look fazed even though I helpfully trailed off and everything. He smiled and reached into his robe, withdrawing what I could only describe as a rolled-up scroll of parchment. “I am well aware of your loss, Mr. Krup. You have my most sincere condolences. I believe my offer may help you process your grief. How would you like to go on an adventure in another world?”

“It’s too early in the morning for this.” I groaned and opened the door, morbidly curious despite myself.

Josef followed me into the house as I made my way to the couch. His offer must be some fancy game he wants me to try.

Taking the scroll from him, I replied. “Look, I don’t know what game this is but I don’t think I’m in the right state of mind to do my job properly. I need time to sort myself out and maybe get a real job. I can’t support myself on what you-”

He cut me off again. “I can offer you a house to live in and three meals a day to go with your pay. How does that sound?”

That had my attention. Maybe there’s a silver lining to this cloud after all. “What do I have to do for this house?”

Josef smiled. He had me and he knew it. “All you have to do is live your life. You will be supplied with a house and all of your basic needs will be taken care of. How you choose to live is entirely up to you. Consider this the ultimate goal of what S.I.M.P. Co was created for.”

I sighed. “What does SIMP even stand for?”

He motioned to the scroll. “Everything is spelled out in your contract. Believe me when I tell you, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”

Scraping the wax seal from the scroll, I carefully unraveled it.

This agreement is made and entered into on June 15th, 2022 by and between the Selective Interdimensional Magical-Exchange Program (SIMP) and Alexander Krup (GAMER).

1. Admission: SIMP grants GAMER unfettered access and citizenship on Gaia. This includes all rights and privileges afforded to the assigned rank.

(1) Beginning rank assigned to be that of a commoner

(2) GAMER may, at their discretion, commit acts of valor to increase this rank.

(3) Criminal acts committed by GAMER will result in infamy and loss of status.

2. Room and Board: SIMP shall provide one (1) home to GAMER in accordance with current rank.

(1) Three (3) meals shall be offered to GAMER daily in the town of residence.

(2) Weekly stipend shall be granted to GAMER in an amount based on current rank.

3. Obligation: GAMER agrees to conduct themselves as they see fit while visiting Gaia.

(1) Law Abiding: GAMER agrees to follow all laws and regulations set forth by local and national governments during their visit. Failure to do so shall result in the loss of room and board.

(2) Taxes: GAMER shall be exempt from any taxes set forth by local and national governments.

(3) War: GAMER shall not be drafted or otherwise called upon to participate in any wars on Gaia without their explicit consent.

4. Indemnity: SIMP shall be held harmless should GAMER come to any physical or financial harm during their stay on Gaia.

(1) Gamer assumes all risks in any activity engaged in while visiting Gaia.

(2) SIMP shall immediately furnish transportation back to Earth upon receipt of GAMER’s written request.

5. Governing Law: This agreement shall be governed and construed under the laws of the High House of Earth (H-HOE).

_______________________ ______________________

SIMP Date

_______________________ ______________________

GAMER Date

I looked up from the contract to see Josef watching me intently, so I decided to ask the first question that came to mind. “Where exactly is this Gaia located? Is it still in North Carolina?”

He laughed in response. “No sir. I’m afraid Gaia is in another dimension. Did you not read the user agreement when you took the job?”

The problem was, nobody ever read those things. I often wondered why they even bothered to display them. Couldn’t it just be an understanding that an insanely long wall of text existed in an unknown location buried deep in the software?

Shaking my head, I replied. “No sir. I never read those things. I need to know how far away this place is. That way I can decide if I need to rent a truck or if I can just get a friend to help me.”

I was lying, of course. I didn’t know anybody. Not anymore. I also had no clue what I was going to do with all of my parent’s furniture.

Josef threw a backpack at me and said, “Put what you need in there. The organization will send a team to shrink and store the rest of your belongings while you are away.”

That sounded convenient. Then I hesitated when the words caught up with my brain. “What do you mean you will shrink my stuff?”

He shrugged. “It’s all very magical, sir. Are you prepared to sign the agreement? The sooner you do, the sooner you can start your adventure.”

The system decided to be helpful and summed up the conversation.

A wizard from another world would like to invite you on an adventure. Would you like to go? Y/N?