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“Hello there.” I introduced myself cordially. “My name is Alexander. You can call me Alex.”

My neighbors ignored me and defensively huddled over a tiny grill where they were cooking a small piece of meat. Deciding to be more direct, I continued. “I’m your neighbor. The two of you were quite vigorous last night.”

That got a reaction. A short stubby woman looked up in shock and blushed before busying herself with flipping the meat. The man next to her, a lanky blond fellow, flashed me a grin. “Sorry about the noise, friend. You know how it is. Got to stay warm somehow. Before you ask, we aren’t sharing any food with you.”

I looked at the tiny morsel. It was barely one bite. How were they going to share it? I laughed and said, “That’s fine. I already ate.”

The woman gave me an envious look. “That’s right, you’re one of them company men, aren’t you? Forcing the orphanage to feed you and all. Stealing candy from babies. That’s what that is.”

I reached into my backpack and held out a handful of nuts. “Actually, I foraged these in the forest. The reason I came to talk to you is I was thinking we can work together to make our situation better. What do you think?”

“And why would you want to do that?” The man asked, not taking his eyes off the meat.

I shrugged. “I just thought we could get more done as a team.”

“What are you proposing?” The woman asked. “And don’t you dare try to trade your bloomin’ nuts for this raquirell meat.”

“We’re all living over here together.” I began. “Doesn’t it make sense that we work together to make our lives better?”

The woman rolled her eyes. “What would you possibly have to offer us?”

This is going to be harder than I thought. Can you tell me anything about these two?

Details are incoming. You won’t be impressed, though.

Weaver

Level

1

Class

Ne’er-do-well

Affection Level

Lazy

Savia

Level

1

Class

Wench

Affection Level

Mistrusting

Part of me wondered why I was bothering with these people. It wasn’t like they were positioned to help me in life, being peasants and all. I decided to ignore the question. “What can you tell me about this village?”

Savia laughed at me for evading her question but Weaver answered, “Ain’t nothing spectacular about Hellquist Village. It’s pretty ordinary in every way. You don’t have to worry about starving too much. So long as you don’t mind getting your hands dirty from time to time.”

“How so?” I asked, curious about what the locals did for food.

“Go meet with the propers on the other side of town.” Savia spat. “They always have something for you to do.”

I decided to walk further down the line of shanties. It was more of the same. Each building was run down. The majority of the shanties were shut tight as their residents seemed to be gone

After casting a final glance back at my neighbors, I decided to take a stroll around the hill. It hit me almost at once how much nicer the other side of town was. Each of the buildings was much better cared for and had a chimney with smoke drifting lazily into the afternoon sky. The smells made my mouth water, though I had no clue what they were of.

Beyond the homes was a row of structures that could only be businesses.

CLANK CLANK CLANK

A large bald man with a bushy mustache looked up from an anvil as I wandered by his workshop. He grunted at me. “Customers only. No lookie loos.”

I was curious.

Isn’t that an Earth saying?

The auto-translate feature uses local idioms from your native language to make conversations more comfortable for you.

I had to admit, that was convenient. It was at times like this that I wished I had money. A simple weapon could be the difference between life and death. Perhaps I should have negotiated a bit more before signing the contract. Perhaps they would have given me a starter kit before sending me to fend for myself.

Hey, Pi. What is the quickest way to get a weapon in this game…err I mean world.

There are several ways of acquiring a weapon.

1. Steal one

+50 Infamy (If caught) Reward Variable (+10 Perception Check)

2. Get a job

+50 Renown +5 gold Reward Variable / Possible cash rewards

3. Ask for consignment

+25 Affiliation +10 Debt +1 Rusty Dagger (+10 Charisma Check)

4. Murder the blacksmith

+500 Infamy +100 Gold +Choice of Weapon (+50 Strength Check)

I narrowed it down to two options. A job or a loan. I wasn’t about to get busted for theft or murder on my first day in Gaia. While I wasn’t exactly ruling out a life of crime, I wanted to ease my way into it, not jump into the deep end.

Making my way back to the blacksmith, I paused while Pi gave me his details.

Brewster

Level

2

Class

Blacksmith

Affection Level

Fair

I chuckled when I read the gruff-looking guy’s affection level.

Why is it called affection level if it’s just going to tell me the kind of mood he’s in?

The creator likes to use that particular window to get women to engage in sexual congress with him.

That was way more information than I needed to know. Still, I was a little curious.

Who is the creator? Is that god?

No. The creator is the individual who created the system that governs all magical beings. He is considered the creator by all but his closest consorts.

At least it wasn’t god. That would be weird. By that point, Brewster noticed I was loitering again. “Do you need something? Spit it out or piss off!”

Deciding to go with the first option, I said, “I’d like to know if you need any help.”

“Want money, do ya?” He said while glowering at me. “I’m not sure what a chubby guy like you could possibly…”

“I’m in need of a weapon,” I replied, trying to sound confident. “It’s kind of dangerous not to have one and I do admire your work.”

That was a lie. I hadn’t seen anything Brewster made. Fortunately, it worked. He threw his head back in laughter. “Hah! Very well. You clean out the shop and I’ll find ya something. Can’t promise it will be me best work but it will suit someone like you just fine.”

Cleaning the smithy was no easy task. I missed dinner and the sun had set by the time it was clean to Brewster’s liking. To his credit, he worked well into the night himself, hammering out an order of short swords until sunset and then polishing his wares after it was too late to make noise.

To say I was impressed with his work ethic would have been an understatement. I, on the other hand, wasn’t fairing very well. Sweat dripped from my face even though it was freezing outside. By the time Brewster was satisfied, my arms felt like lead.

“Not bad for such a large fellow.” He began with a laugh. “I half expected you to quit partway through. I wasn’t planning to give you anything today but I suppose a little something is in order.”

You have received a rusty dagger.

I glared at the menu, brushing it to the side.

I know that. He literally just handed it to me!

Pi ignored me and displayed stats.

Rusty Dagger

Item Type:

Weapon

Damage Type:

Piercing

Damage

+1

Requirements

N/A

Bonuses

None

I looked over the weapon. It was basic but well in line with what you’d expect to find in a starter down. Brewster looked at me questioningly, so I rewarded him with a smile. “Thank you very much. You are a skilled blacksmith.”

“Rubbish.” He spat the word. “That is just a failure of a weapon that’s been collecting dust. And rust as you can clearly see. If you want something better, you’re going to have to earn it. Come back when you have time and maybe I’ll let you earn something proper that fits you. There could even be a little copper in it for ya.”

I tucked the dagger into my backpack as I made my way back to the shanty. The dried sweat made me feel grimy and even colder than I had when I first arrived at the village.

The peasants were all sealed into their private shacks for the night and, judging by the noises coming from the Weaver’s place, they were well on their way to warming up. Either that or making a baby.

Once inside of my home, I dug through the backpack for a chapple. The skin wasn’t too hard, so I was able to bite right into it like a normal apple. The taste surprised me. While the nuts I had eaten earlier in the day were somewhat bitter, the chapple tasted like a cherry-flavored apple.

Congratulations, you have reached level 2!

+50 Renown

+1 Constitution

+1 Strength

+ 1 Perception

+1 Charisma

I was out like a light the moment my head hit the sack. The orgasmic feeling that washed over me from leveling up helped keep me warm in bed that night.

I dreamed of playing a video game in a fantasy world where I had to gather nuts and berries from a local forest and did a quest for a scruffy blacksmith before heading out to grind levels on the local slime population.

All too soon, I found myself awake with a sharp pain in my stomach.

You are afflicted with diarrhea. I suggest you find a privy soon.

I groaned and peeled off the multiple layers of blankets before waddling out of the shanty. In the darkness, the forest seems so much farther than usual.

Just as I made it there, a voice called out in the darkness. “Who’s there?”

BLART

It started as a fart and ended as the second pair of wrecked underwear in two days.

Pi, where can I get some water to clean myself?

The closest source of water is in the monastery. However, I do not recommend going there smelling as you do. You will lose affiliation with the inhabitants.

“I can hear you breathing in there.” The voice called. “Who’s out of bed?”

Realizing I was busted, I stepped out of the forest, trying to ignore the squishing feeling between my legs. It was a kid from the monastery, the older boy who gave me his seat. He frowned when he saw me. “Oh, it’s you. You stink mister. Did you just crap yourself?”

All I could do was nod. He made a show of pinching his nose with his fingers and walked briskly away from me. “I’ll go over here. Please don’t follow me.”

Part of me wanted to rush back to the shanty and barricade myself inside but I knew if I didn’t finish what I started, I’d just be back. So I took a few steps into the forest and started peeling off clothes.

Back in the safety of the shanty, I tucked the pair of soiled underwear into my backpack. It was the second pair I’d ruined since arriving on Gaia. The system helpfully showed me how to make compartments.

The nil space inside your bag can be separated into various void pockets to house a variety of items. This can include things such as liquids and gases as well as physical items. Normally, it takes a specialized void mage or leatherworker to create the compartments but as I have direct access to the system, all you need to do is ask.

Direct access to the system? That was something I was going to have to exploit.

Can you make water?

Technically.

Will you make me some? I’m thirsty and I’d kind of like to stop stinking.

I apologize, Alex. There are some things you have to sort out for yourself.

So much for cheat mode. Still, I made a mental note to work the system whenever possible.

The second time I woke up well-rested.

Bladder at 47% Capacity. You are thirsty. You are no longer afflicted with diarrhea. +1% immunity to local drinking water.

Great! Ninety-nine more times to go.

Not necessarily. Immunity works in strange ways.

I sighed and put on my backpack, setting out for another day of adventure.