Starbasin

4: A Friend’s Hunger



The dream was safe, warm and happy. Rhizome was back at the warren in a burrow surrounded by the scents of other rabbits, all huddled together against the winter. These were friends, ones he had saved. He wasn’t sure how he had saved them, but they would be safe because he had done— something. One of the rabbits lapped lazily at his ear. Rhizo flicked it playfully, content in his place. In response, the rabbit bit down on Rhizo’s ear with impossibly sharp teeth.

“Aaaaggghhh!” Rhizo started awake. Pain ran through his ear and Eitan hissed in surprise. The rabbit had knocked the weasel out of the small scrape in the ground and onto his back. The two had slept at the base of a tree in a forest a few days' travel from Brambledeep. “You bit me!”

The weasel stammered something Rhizo didn’t understand, then switched to Lapine. “It was a dream. I thought… You know what? It doesn’t matter what I thought.”

Rhizo pulled his ear in front of an eye. The pre-dawn light made it hard to see, but the weasel’s teeth had not broken the skin. “There are teeth marks on my ear.”

Eitan looked at the ground. “The last time I slept next to anyone was when I shared a burrow with my siblings. I sometimes bit my brother’s ears to tease him.”

“You need to trust me not to run. We have an agreement and if you start thinking of me as your brother you’ll break it.” Rhizo’s breaths were shallow and fast. The pain didn’t freak him out nearly as much as the feelings of comfort. Eitan was starting to feel safe. Eitan had insisted on sleeping with a foreleg around Rhizome to make sure the rabbit did not flee while the weasel slept. The first few nights were a fitful blur of nightmares and shivers. This was way worse because the weasel’s scent was familiar.

Eitan looked almost wistful, then batted his head. “Don’t be silly. We’re not brothers, you’re not him, and I can end your life whenever I want. The only reason you’re alive is I’m not yet convinced you’ll be safe to eat, Long-ear.”

Rhizo flattened his ears and grunted. In the conversations they had over the past days, Eitan had kept calling him Long-ear. Why had Eitan asked Rhizo’s name if he did not intend to use it? “My name is—”

“I know your name, Long-ear! I do not need to use it. I do not know you. No matter how much we talk, we are not friends and we are not family.” He flexed his claws and pulled his paw back to strike. “I can do it. You are not my brother. I don’t see him. I see a rabbit. A meal that I have not decided to eat yet.”

Rhizome closed his eyes. Even the threat did not cut through the unnatural feeling that the weasel was safe. Eitan tensed, but his paw would not move.

Finally, Rhizo peeked. He hopped up to the weasel and nudged him. “I’m sorry. This isn’t what I intended when I agreed to go with you.”

The weasel finally sighed and leaned into the rabbit. “How did you get the Bloodied Weasel to let you live?”

“Who? Oh, Death. I told him I wanted to live.” Rhizo flicked his ears, listening to the forest sounds. “I guess he wanted to know why Whitepaw wasn’t dead but he didn’t tell me that. And, I guess I offered to tell him about my life, but I hadn’t done anything. Except the one stamp.”

“How can you be so bad at stories?” Eitan asked. “You spoke with Death. Not argued with him. not met him as you died. You had what seemed to be a real conversation, and you even bargained with him, maybe for your life, maybe just… Have you talked with him since?”

“I kinda yelled at him before I met you.”

“Yelled?” Eitan asked. “At Death?”

“I was upset.” Rhizome sighed. “Maybe I just imagined all of it. But, just those two times so far. I guess, I keep expecting to see him every time you try to, um, try to…”

Eitan grunted. “Shut up, Long-ear. I haven’t failed to kill you, I just am unsure. I know your kind well enough. I know what you’d do to me if you could. I will not lose my predator’s soul talking to you.”

“I am sorry. I keep thinking of you as a friend.” Rhizome asked, “Why did you learn our language if you hate us so much?”

“To better hunt you,” Eitan snapped back. “It’s complicated. My family took over an abandoned warren, a small abandoned warren.” He shuddered.

“If it helps, you are still in charge.”

The weasel shook his head. “If I was in charge, I would be hunting right now.”

“Go eat. I’ll be here when you return. Unless you want me to leave.” Rhizome shivered. He kept feeling that he was responsible for Eitan. The weasel had only survived because of his actions. Everyone Eitan ate would be someone Rhizome killed.

Eitan almost responded, but left without a word. Rhizome shook his head and went to scrounge for something for himself. The woods the travelers were in had no grass, but several ferns smelled edible. Despite his hunger, they were difficult to swallow.

The Lord Sun rose almost to his highest point for the day, causing the shadows to dance as young leaves shifted in the breeze. Rhizo wondered if Erebus would warn him before it was his time, or simply appear as he crossed from one life to the next. The greater fear was that he had imagined Erebus, their meeting, even the color of those eyes. A red beyond what his normal eyes could see.

“How many will die because of my actions?” the rabbit lamented. “I can’t harm him, any more than he seems able to harm me. He’s not what I expected. I should be dead by now.”

Two eyes opened nearby. “I am curious why you decided to leave the warren with him. It seemed an odd choice.”

It was difficult to face why he left. Let alone having Death request the truth of the matter. “Stargazer can’t see my actions. She didn’t know Eitan survived. I didn’t choose to run after him; I just did. I had to. I had to make sure I didn’t get anyone killed.”

“Being insignificant has advantages.” The red eyes narrowed. “Are you still just a warren rabbit? One of the forgettable ones who do little but eat grass? Are you still struggling for your life, or do you intend to let him kill you if he can work up the nerve? Do you still want to live?”

“I want to live.” Rhizome whimpered. “Because of what I did, others will die. Maybe. Is this real? Are you real? Is Eitan real?”

“Just as I cannot tell you what happens after death, it is not my place to give you answers. I suppose there is no harm in saying that all of those things are real. Perhaps, there is something else I can do.” With that, the red eyes closed and the dark presence was gone.

Rhizo resisted the urge to scream, and instead mumbled quietly, “Am I talking to myself?”


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